r/mentalhealth 9h ago

Good News / Happy I genuinely hugged someone yesterday for the first time in decades

I had a huge breakthrough in therapy yesterday and after my session was over my therapist asked if she could hug me. I accepted but I said that I wasn’t much of a hugger. This was the first time in decades that I hugged someone that didn’t feel like I was obligated to do so. In fact I genuinely don’t like people touching me unless I have known them for some time.

31 Upvotes

10 comments sorted by

3

u/AvaSaysSo 6h ago

That first real hug must have felt like coming up for air after a long dive.

3

u/sasquatchradio 6h ago

I don’t know how to describe it. It felt unusual because it wasn’t uncomfortable. I thought about it a teared up as I was riding away on my motorcycle.

3

u/AvaSaysSo 4h ago

the not uncomfortable part is the whole thing. most hugs feel like a thing youre supposed to do.

2

u/Charlie_Evans24 5h ago

that honestly sounds like a really big moment. not because you suddenly became a hug person, but because you got to choose it, say what you were comfortable with, and it didn’t feel forced or like you owed anyone anything.

it’s completely okay to not like being touched unless you really know someone. you still let yourself accept comfort in a way that felt safe enough for you, and that’s huge. glad therapy gave you a moment like that.

3

u/moo_xx 4h ago

Sending virtual hugs

2

u/sasquatchradio 4h ago

I will accept them.🥹

3

u/AK__ZIYU 4h ago

I'm so happy for you anon! sending virtual hugs to you 🤗

2

u/islaisla 3h ago

I'm so pleased for you X I hope it opens the gate to lots more hugs if you want them.

Incidentally my therapist asked if I it was ok to hug at the end of our journey and I really didn't want to but I said yes because he was so sweet about it. He was a big tall old man and I knew he was genuinely thinking it would be a nice suggestion. So for that reason, I I couldn't say no. I would rather therapists didn't offer hugs myself but now I can see it means different things to other people.

There's actually a sub called hugbuddies, I think it's called. I'm thinking about putting an entry on there but I'm kind of confused as to how people really meet up that way!

1

u/sasquatchradio 1h ago

It was a very productive session and I cried at the end because I was repeating the opening lyrics to the song “Stand” by Motörhead.

1

u/TA_NEET-Gamer 3h ago

Nice.

The only people I liked hugging were my parents. With my dad gone, it's just mom now.