on my 11th birthday i saw what sex was for the first time. it was late and i went out of the spare room to go to my room, my sister (14) came to me and said “mom fell off the bed” she brought me to our parents bedroom where i saw them having sex, my mom was drunk but my dad seemed fine. my mom laughed and said “we’re fucking” my brother (21) was also there, just watching. i remember saying “okay..?” then i walked into the bathroom and i started crying. i don’t know why i cried, but i was feeling so overwhelmed and it was my birthday.
not too much later, my dad came out and he saw how stressed i was, my sister asked him “why’s she stressed?” and my dad said “it’s probably because she can’t figure out who to go trick or treating with” it was true that i was also stressed about that, but not at that moment.
since then i’ve seen them and heard them have sex multiple times, without them seeing me, where’d i start crying.
one time they were doing it in our hot tub and my sister had to go out to tell them to be quiet because of our neighbors.
now, i always hesitant when opening their door, i think about the moment and i hope that they aren’t doing anything.
since then ive also just for some reason have a really hard time with the topic sex, i can’t even say the word out loud and i don’t even know why.
they’d never tried to hide it, seeing as they would do it right outside or in our hot tub.
once i was in the garden, my sister and my parents were sitting and my mom said “i really need sex right now” i couldn’t hear it, but my sister was sitting with them so she could and she yelled what they said to me, my mom got mad at her for telling me. me and my parents have never spoken about any of this.
i don’t know if this is bad or not, i truly love my parents, but ive always wondered why seeing them have affected me like this and if this is normal. i think im overreacting but im wondering what about people think.
edit: i have some more things to say.
i never had the talk with my parents, i dont remember how or when i learned what sex was but i remember doing stuff with my body when i was 10.
i don’t believe my brother stayed and watched. i remember him standing besides me and my sister but id think he left after i left
another story. i don’t know how old i was but i went to the kitchen to get a snack and saw my parents having sex on the outside couch. there are big windows around that couch so i could easily see them. i went back to my room before they could see me and i remember texting my friend and my hands shaking.
don’t know if this is relevant but the first time i watched porn i remember feeling so guilty (this was after the incident). i also remember that i didn’t know why i felt the need to pee so bad after doing/watching sexual stuff, it took me into my teens to find out.
if you have any questions ill answer them as best as i can :)