r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Comfortable_Age_5595 • 5d ago
Pasta How my girlfriend cuts cheese to perfectly fit her bread. I don't know whether to be amazed or horrified.
What’s worse?? The state of the block she left or the slices?
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u/kitaisaradish 5d ago
What's mildly infuriating is that I can't see the issue here
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u/SUMMATMAN 5d ago
I suspect it takes a while to chop it like this, that could potentially mildly infuriate?
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u/BRtIK 5d ago
It's actually faster to get a bunch of little slices than to correctly slice a big one.
Less chance for the blade to angle and slice off a massive chunk that's too thick
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u/DeadbeatGremlin 5d ago
If only there was a device designed to slice cheese
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u/Sure_Acanthaceae_348 5d ago
NGL I had no idea this existed. I was using a knife the whole time and it sucks for hard cheeses.
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u/LuceDuder 5d ago
this is so weird. we use this device in Finland all the time. Its the "standard" way of slicing cheese over here.
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u/School_North 5d ago
Theres a slicer on the side of the metal traingle ones too though that tends to slice it a bit thick
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u/Nortex_Vortex 5d ago
I have had the same box grater for 25+ years and never used that slicer side until a couple of weeks ago. Slices were definitely way too thick. Back to never using that again!
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u/itiswellwith4657 5d ago
I wish this works for me. The very beginning and the very end is never good. Oh that’s right, I am not a chef and do not like to cook.
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u/SalvadorP 5d ago
i do this as well, with all sorts of things. But I have tourettic OCD and this is part of my rituals/tics.
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u/Toucandle 4d ago
Honestly yeah. Actually, do other people not do this? Grilled cheese especially you want that lovely coverage
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u/desblaterations-574 5d ago
I try to do that with every sandwich, it has to be equal in proportions in every possible bite (vertical cut only).
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u/sixtus_clegane119 5d ago
I do the opposite, if things are uneven and then every bite is unique and less boring
Breaking away from the monotony that sandwiches can be
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u/desblaterations-574 5d ago
I can see the point, then I would make it so there is still a decent ratio of bread/filling.
I don't want to have a too dry bite with only bread, like triangle sandwich edges.→ More replies (3)→ More replies (1)3
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u/FriggeK 5d ago
y'all really gotta get one of these
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u/GlacialImpala 5d ago
Doesn't work on softer fattier cheeses, also tends to curl the harder ones. I prefer control that a knife gives me
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u/Rhodin265 5d ago
They probably need to buy a better knife, then. My cutting got better the day I upgraded from crappy dollar store paring knives.
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u/LonelyTAA 5d ago
You haven't used the one in the picture then. That's a Boska cheese slicer. Truly the ferrari of cheese slicers.
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u/The_Bread_Guy123 5d ago
Do people not do this?
Like I thought this was the norm???
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u/TheHungryBlanket 5d ago
No. I’m reading through this entire thread and it boggles my mind that everybody is acting like sliced cheese does not exist.
Do you all not ask the deli to slice it for you? Most of the cheese blocks are already exactly the size of a piece of bread.
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u/spaceforcerecruit 5d ago
> ask the deli to slice it for you
I think the majority of people probably buy a package from the giant wall of pre-sliced cheeses next to the yogurt.
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u/ElGoddamnDorado 5d ago
Do you all not ask the deli to slice it for you?
No, I dont ask the deli to slice the cheese into 12 tiny slices of cheese to fit one piece of bread. Do you?
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u/poopholes3 5d ago
Never heard of this. Just let the excess hang off the bread for God's sake
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u/Adamant_TO 5d ago
It is.
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u/YellowBelliedCoward 5d ago
That's not the norm at all. The norm is to cut slices and lay the horizontally across.
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u/ElGoddamnDorado 5d ago
Have you ever been to a sandwich shop at all, ever, in your whole life, and seen anyone do this?
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u/FancyThing8889 5d ago
The tiny emergency filler square in the middle is peak dedication
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u/Comfortable_Age_5595 5d ago
The best part is that i kept eating her filler square and she kept having to make a new slice just to break a bit off. I love to piss her off
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u/Legitimate_Ranger334 5d ago
Ah HA! I try to lay them out evenly so that every bite will have cheese, without wasting any on overflow, but also allow for a small gap between any two slices, if that makes it all fit better. My blocks are seldom perfectly rectangular when I begin, so it's kind a puzzle to do.
So hers still looks a bit extreme to my eye. AND THEN there's the little tilted filler piece. I could not figure out how she could go so wrong there, and only there.
Thanks for the clarification.
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u/Highland_Fether_68 5d ago
This is the way, why waste sandwich space. if im going to the effort of making it, i may as well do it right, she's a keeper or a killer. be fun finding out
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u/Valuable-Locksmith21 5d ago
You sound young. With women, if it's cheese related, just stay out of it. They're weird about their cheese.
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u/Legitimate_Ranger334 5d ago
According to Paulsen’s 1971 book, The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft, "You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese."
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u/GeneralEi 5d ago
I do this with any ingredient in a sandwich. Tell your lady I respect her hustle.
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u/Sure_Acanthaceae_348 5d ago
I can't wait to see what she does with her ransom notes.
Be very afraid.
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u/BRtIK 5d ago
That is dedication to doing a job right.
Let's see how she uses the condiments to grout the cheese. If she does well I might have a job for her in tiling
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u/Comfortable_Age_5595 5d ago
So this is actually thEE sandwich. That’s it. You’re right about dedication though, she does this with tremors and all.
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u/NekulturneHovado 5d ago
I do that too. She might be autistic.
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u/LesbianAkali 5d ago
Im laughing so much, as autistic I also do this, and seeing the whole reddit saying thats the norm is so funny, it just fits reddit users so much.
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u/vomicyclin 5d ago
Wait a second. It’s not normal to do it this way…?
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u/NekulturneHovado 5d ago
well Idk how NT people, but I do it and I'm autistic, OP said she's autistic, and apparently it's a "sign" that something might be off. Obsessively making every bite perfectly balanced, that's what I do
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u/EstimateOk6795 5d ago
I do this when I'm making a grilled cheese or otherwise melting the cheese so that the melty cheese stays on the bread.
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u/NotFuckingTired 5d ago
You should loudly and proudly share that your girlfriend is an expert at cutting the cheese, at every opportunity.
"She can cut the cheese to perfectly fill ANY space!"
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u/chopstick_chakra 5d ago
If it's perfectly fitting why is there leftover?
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u/_Lerry_ 5d ago
Your tests probably got handed back face down..
It perfectly fits the bread moron, not it perfectly used all the cheese. She cuts it from a block of cheese.
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u/ImpossibleRush5518 5d ago
Ah, so is she true crime autistic or shark autistic? I’m book autistic myself
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u/Halfawannabe 5d ago
Look, you have two choices marry her or run far away my advice put a ring on that finger
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u/keithnyc 5d ago edited 5d ago
Haha.... My Dad was always watching me as a little kids do things and commenting on it.,.....he made a similar comment to me when I was buttering some toast as a little kid and he was truly annoyed at how particular I was at getting it even everywhere on the bread, right to the edge. Looking back, I was a pretty fastidious little kid, and he was probably annoyed at me acting so particular. and then twisting this to being "light in the loafers" all the time (yeah, I was too little to realize I was gay and it probably annoyed the f. out of him). Anyway, stop watching what your gf is doing and how she enjoys her food. You won't want to that done to you, I think.
PS: my Dad and I grew very close as we both got older and he accepted me and my life choices. I miss him so much
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u/Professional-Lie-111 5d ago
ALL those edge pieces are falling off with the first bite ... She cray-cray. Get out while you can!
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u/Randytwister 4d ago
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u/BecciRenee 21h ago
This made me LOL, way too Loud!
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u/Randytwister 20h ago
I actually have this image saved im quick access, I often bring it out, my partner loves cheese and I often reference it in person and on the phone
Seriously, I am almost always buying 4 tyoes of cheese on a weekly basis, they're all for different occasions
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u/Zealousideal-Lab9843 5d ago
That's a thick-ass slice of cheese.
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u/thinkmoreharder 5d ago
Please. Those slices aren’t even of uniform thickness. But I appreciate her effort.
(Disclaimer: if she’s going to melt that, it’s fine.)
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u/Comfortable_Age_5595 3d ago
ong thankyou. So she needs it really thin, ideally a bit translucent but she struggles and the shape of the left over block shows the struggle.
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u/RandoMcrandersome 5d ago
That bread is tall and that cheese is from a narrow block of aged it looks like, the problem is you buying weird ass shaped foods to start with 🤣 normal bread and normal cheese slices fit perfect as is, of course she has to play Tetris with theses ingredients
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u/KileiFedaykin 5d ago
So, you're more hung up on the aesthetic cutting of the cheese more than anything here?
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u/mycatpartyhouse 5d ago
I cut my bread into "fingers" to fit my cheese slices.
Remainder of cheese block could be grated for omelets or sauce or something. It keeps well in the fridge.
This is neither amazing or horrifying. Girlfriend has skills.
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u/richie___ 5d ago
If there’s possibility of amazement, how is this mildly infuriating lol. Also, girls love cheese haha
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u/Cold_Burner5370 5d ago
The worst part is that one small square in the middle that she didn’t fit properly. Like seriously, going through all that work and leaving a fixable mistake like that? Weird.
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u/bartekltg 5d ago
Sure, that gaps in cheese cover may be mildly infuriating if you want a perfection, but for everyday sandwich it is a passable job.
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u/warpedspockclone ORANGE 3d ago
I think you should go to your office, school, friends group, family reunion, and declare that your girlfriend is the best at cutting the cheese.
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u/d3aDcritter 2d ago
Amazed! Send her my handle if you have to move on someday. She'd likely fit right in with me 😅
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u/greenybrowny 2d ago
I wish I had a boyfriend I could mildly infuriate with how I cut cheese…😂😂 let her live her life man, if she pays for the cheese, she may cut it to her liking 🙏🏻😂
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u/Puzzled-Relief2916 21h ago
When you start getting to the end like that gets harder to cut effectively...kudos to her maximizing her cheese to sandwich ratio.
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u/NailAccomplished1894 20h ago
Who else saw the preview on their phone and thought this was going to be about his gf farting?
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u/bonro00133 20h ago
My wife puts the cheese in the bread and then cuts around the outside of the bar Head to make the cheese fit perfectly on the slice of bread. That way when it’s melting in the toaster oven none of it drips.
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u/Craw__ 5d ago
You're going to fit in a very small box if you cheat on her.