r/nottheonion • u/Dc9542 • 3d ago
Bakery owner thought Uber courier took 400 cinnamon rolls – but he'd been detained by ICE
https://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/cinnamon-roll-theft-driver-detained-south-florida/3851651/1.1k
u/Zacrosadol 3d ago
“Come on boys, just heard on the radio there’s a semitrailer carrying coffee that’s crashed two blocks from here, let’s go!”
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u/everlyafterhappy 3d ago
Im surprised stuff like this doesn't happen more often. Doordash's prime business model is to take advantage of foreigners who don't understand English very well and who really aren't supposed to be working. They go, "you don't speak English and you can't get a w2 job, so we'll pay you $1.50 per delivery!" And they get the bottom of the barrel because most illegal immigrants can find more stable, better paying jobs.
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u/YouandWhoseArmy 3d ago
Uber should be charged for hiring an illegal person.
But that would kill their entire exploitation business model.
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u/everlyafterhappy 3d ago
We first have to convict the government that drivers are employees and not contractors. That's part of why Uber and doordash like categorizing drivers as contractors instead of employees. If they were employees, then Uber and doordash would have liability for hiring them. As contractors, the contractors have the liability.
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u/YouandWhoseArmy 3d ago
Oh I mean I think there entire business model is fucking exploitative rent seeking garbage.
Easy to identify when fees are a percent of an order and not a fixed cost. Ubers costs don’t change whether an order is 15 dollars or 50.
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u/ruler_gurl 3d ago
US companies have to verify citizenship of contract employees though via I9. It's not any kind of get out of jail free card to simply not hire them as employees. The reason they aren't ever punished for it is because corporations own congress. The sitting potus has undocumented aliens working at his businesses. It's been a flagrant abuse for decades.
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u/DapperMolasses3280 3d ago
All gig workers have to pass criminal background checks before they can be employed as contractors with these apps. You are ignorant and don't know what you're talking about. I've been working 7+ years with Doordash...immigrants are NOT the problem. Greedy corporations and callous customers (i.e. people who expect service without tips) are.
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u/everlyafterhappy 3d ago
Uber does a little better job of background checks, but neither actually checks that the driver is the person it's supposed to be, and doordash more heavily promotes the work to Hispanic people.
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u/SirPseudonymous 3d ago
The entire point of ICE's ethnic cleansing campaign in the first place is to keep migrant laborers terrified, precarious, extremely exploitable, and easily disposable if they ever start to push for better conditions. The written law only considers employers exploiting them to have committed an offense to lend credence to the racist propaganda campaign that's used to justify ICE's existence to gibbering racist morons, but because laws only matter so far as what their enforcers whims are this doesn't get used in practice because the racist terror is for the benefit of those same corporations that are "illegally" benefiting from this arrangement.
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u/DapperMolasses3280 3d ago
Why do we not give a shit about legal immigration anymore? The dude was WORKING, we WANT good workers to flood this country, not deadbeats living off the government (i.e. "citizens"). Immigrants are NOT the problem.
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u/MajorFuckingDick 2d ago
Deadbeats don't want his job. Thats the quiet part. There are thousands of people like me who dont want to do physical labour. Unfortunately these people haven't learned a skill like programming or editing and have zero value besides labour. So they blame the immigrant who spent their family wealth on a laptop and a dream who made it to america for no longer being able to just show up to work with dad one day and have a career.
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u/Sad-Plankton-1225 1d ago
What industry do you work in? Happy to import 10 million in the same field to flood the lab out supply and reduce pay?
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u/ennaeel 3d ago
I get what you are saying, but I think it is important to remember that there is no such thing as an illegal human.
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u/caldazar24 3d ago
They generally do require an ID, documentation, and background check to sign up, but especially for the courier delivery - there’s little that they do to ensure it’s actually the original person doing the work.
You often have a citizen with another job sign up for the app and have an undocumented migrant worker actually work the account, keeping a portion of the pay in the process!
This random guy is doing Uber a big favor because they can try to push all the blame on him, someone who is too small-time to prosecute.
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u/kmoonster 3d ago
Judge: what deportable crime did this guy commit?
ICE: he drove delivery, he had cinnamon rolls in his car when we stopped him; had to detain him because the rolls self-identified as lovely and we can't have trans cinnamon driving around being tempting
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u/Google_Knows_Already 3d ago
This is like a peak Orwellian dystopia. Well done
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u/Northern23 3d ago
There received a minority report intel about him becoming a big deal thief. They apprehend him before it gets worse, and they were right, by the time they got to detention centre, they received the first theft case against him for stealing few hundreds of cinnamon. They tasted some of them to make sure they don't have drugs in them, and the tests came out negative. So, they expanded the test group by including their immediate family, the test came up negative as well.
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u/Chief-_-Wiggum 3d ago
And it's 200 rolls found in the car.. Don't mind the cinnamon dust on my shirt.
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u/BamBamBob 3d ago
Did the bakery get their 100 rolls back?
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u/lawrensaw 3d ago
IIRC, the client followed up, then the baker tried to get into contact but couldn't reach the uber driver so she just ended up making them again from scratch and delivered them herself. She tried to get compensation from uber, but they didn't respond to her messages so she set up a gofundme to replenish the costs. Once she found out the situation, she donated some of the costs to the uber driver's family, but its not clear how much.
She said she needed two vehicles to transport the large inventory which was the reason for the uber so my guess is she dropped half of them off with her car expecting the uber to drop off the other half and ended up eventually dropped the new ones off with the same car but hours later.
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u/fesnying 3d ago
It seems there is a photo of the officer making their report to their supervisor about the mysterious empty pastry box in the courier's car.
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u/kmoonster 3d ago
Evidence? What evidence? There is no evidence he had that insane number of rolls in his car!
What do you mean what is the smudge on my mouth and fingers and shirt?
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u/40_Thousand_Hammers 3d ago
Judge dread would be proud.
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u/torpedoguy 3d ago
Dredd would go on a bloody spree after finding out the delivery guy he just detained under all those ice corpses was 'not lawfully' in the city due to judges not doing their job and slow-walking him to a time-out.
Still probably put the guy in a cube for a few weeks, but his rampage is in the right place.
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u/WillowgirlIII 3d ago
"He took a job away from a hard-working American or legal immigrant. His presence helped to create a labor surplus that allowed Uber to pay a pittance instead of living wage."
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u/ChaiTRex 3d ago
No, he was detained by CBP. If he'd been detained by ICE, the cinnamon rolls would have been stolen by ICE.
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u/LadySayoria 3d ago
Could be worse. Imagine if they stole a lemon pound cake.
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u/everlyafterhappy 3d ago
El sheriff del condado de Adams derribó mi puerta
Luego escuché el vidrio romperse
No encontraron víctimas de secuestro
Solo un poco de pastel de limón
El pastel de limón de mamáSabe tan bien
Hizo que el sheriff quisiera dejar su arma
Y cortarse una rebanada (¿de qué? ¿de qué?)
Pastel de limón
Él quiere dejar su Glock
Pastel de limón
Tendencia en TikTok
Pastel de limónEs un hombre de familia
Pastel de limónLe dio hambre porque se drogó
Pastel de limón, pastel de limón
Él es un sheriff del condado de Adams
Tiene hambre y es grande como el demonio
Estaba husmeando buscando marihuana
Luego olió otro olor (¿qué fue eso?)
El pastel de limón de mamá
Sabe tan bien
Hizo que el sheriff quisiera dejar su arma
Y cortarse una rebanada (¿de qué? ¿de qué?)
Pastel de limón
Él quiere dejar su Glock
Pastel de limón
Tendencia en TikTok
Pastel de limón
Es un hombre de familia
Pastel de limón
Le dio hambre porque se drogó
Pastel de limón, pastel de limón
Él ve mi pastel y mi revista porno llamada Boom, Boom
Algo le pasó a su cámara en camino a la sala de evidencias
El pastel de limón de mamá
Sabe tan bienHizo que el sheriff quisiera dejar su arma
Y cortarse una rebanada (¿de qué? ¿de qué?)
Pastel de limón
Él quiere dejar su Glock
Pastel de limónTendencia en TikTok
Pastel de limón
Es un hombre de familia
Pastel de limón
Le dio hambre porque se drogó
Pastel de limón, pastel de limón
Pastel de limón
Él quiere dejar su Glock
Pastel de limón
Tendencia en TikTok
Pastel de limón
Es un hombre de familia
Pastel de limón
Le dio hambre porque se drogó
Pastel de limón, pastel de limón
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u/kstargate-425 3d ago
If it was ICE, they would have shot him for "trying to ram them with his vehicle" and then claimed the tasty treats were some drug after calling the driver a "known domestic terrorist" to deflect and make it seem like they were rightly going after "criminals"
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u/PerformerFancy117 3d ago
I wonder, if I got shot and killed while driving, how long will my car drive without me alive? It doesn’t have full self driving… but the auto systems in these new cars seem like they don’t really need me there.
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u/Spirited-Lifeguard55 3d ago
ICE just had boxes of free cinnamon rolls appear in their lunch break room.
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u/Revenge_of_the_User 3d ago
let's be real; they didn't share. The 6 ICE making the arrest all took them home and said nothing to anyone at work.
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u/Commercial-Leek-6682 3d ago
I can just hear them now "Let me guess.... Someone stole your sweetroll"
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u/accidentallyobsolete 3d ago
Not detained, abducted. Words matter and those thugs don’t qualify for terms reserved for state organizations that adhere to the law.
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u/AShinyDream2 3d ago
He was kidnapped!!!! Abducted plays into the Alien nonsense like he's some gray extraterrestrial.
Words matter.
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u/Alwayscooking345 2d ago
Hiring Uber Eats to deliver ALL your cinnamon rolls to a farmer’s market is wild in of itself. Didn’t understand the headline at all, at first so they got a click from me, dammit.
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u/NicolasCageFan492 3d ago
You used to be able to just walk into the United States to emigrate here.
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u/APRengar 3d ago
Ronald Reagan is a ghoul, but there's footage of him personally welcoming immigrants to the country. And his final speech was about how America is great because anyone can come here and be an American (as long as they follow the rules). It's crazy how much worse the rightwing has gotten since then. And again, he's was a ghoul. We shouldn't be anywhere near Reagan, but it's somehow gotten so much worse.
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u/Meta-EvenThisAcronym 3d ago
That's the chilling part. Ronald Reagan paved the way for evil; he and his regime set the precedent for so much wrongdoing and systematic injustice, the ramifications of which we're still dealing with today in America.
But even Reagan's policy welcomed immigrants. Because that used to be the whole point of the United States of America. It's literally inscribed on the Statue of Liberty and our current regime shits all over it.
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u/MillennialsAre40 3d ago
It's like blaming a minority group for the country's woes instead of leadership is part of a famous playbook
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u/WingerRules 3d ago
I'd say it started with Nixon
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u/everlyafterhappy 3d ago
The first prohibition on immigration was in the 1800s. It was used against Asians because cheap Asian labor was being used for mining in the west. The people using tnt to blast mines were cheap Asian labor that the white land owners didn't mind dying. And then they made a big deal about "the Chinese are taking our jobs" and we got legislation against Chinese immigration.
Before that they used African immigrants as free labor. But that's another story.
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u/puertomateo 3d ago
TBF, the Statute was a gift from France. And we're already annoyed at France trying to tell us stuff. That said, we have always been a nation of immigrants.
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u/everlyafterhappy 3d ago
France won the revolutionary war.
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u/puertomateo 3d ago
Against France.
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u/everlyafterhappy 3d ago
The French revolution was really just the rich people trying to remove the royalty, and that's exactly what it did. And that's also what the American revolution was. Rich people trying to get out from under the control of royalty so that they could be the rulers.
Anyway, the American revolution was won by France. When the Americans tried to take on the British again in 1812 without French assistance, they failed miserably, and the English barely even tried.
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u/Meta-EvenThisAcronym 3d ago
Sure, but the lines inscribed on its plaque were written by Emma Lazarus and installed after the statue had already been in place for years.
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u/typeguyfiftytwix 3d ago
we have always been a nation of immigrants
It's time to stop pretending taming an undeveloped land and creating a civilization is the same thing as moving to a developed first world country and parasitizing their welfare state.
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u/DisapprovingCrow 3d ago
“”Undeveloped””
I know the US education system is pretty bad so I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt here. You should really read up on the history of your country, it’s honestly really cool and much more interesting than the myth that it was just empty wilderness waiting around for white people to come ‘tame’ it.
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u/puertomateo 3d ago
It's time for you to stop thinking that you had any part of doing that.
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u/quintus_horatius 3d ago
Ronald Reagan is a ghoul, but there's footage of him personally welcoming immigrants to the country.
IIRC, and I might not because I was a child during his presidency, this would have happened after his crack down on immigration where he totally hosed the agricultural sector during harvest time.
Personally welcoming immigrants would be a sop to the farmers he screwed over.
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u/AVeryHeavyBurtation 3d ago
A lot of latinos love Reagan and still vote Republican because he granted amnesty to undocumented immigrants.
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u/SirPseudonymous 3d ago
Reagan even reined in Israel when it started ramping up a genocidal carpet bombing campaign. Somehow the modern Democratic party is farther right than Ronald Reagan, one of the most monstrously evil sacks of shit to ever live.
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u/redshopekevin 3d ago
They arrived via boat. It didn't end well for the natives.
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u/xxx_poonslayer69 3d ago
Racist people back then weren't cool with that either. Their great great grandkids voted for Trump.
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u/RockstarAgent 3d ago
We’ve got one planet and some rich assholes want to tell everyone what they can or can’t do.
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u/xxx_poonslayer69 3d ago
Well why doesn't the more numerous group simply eat the smaller, much weaker group? Are they stupid??
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u/everlyafterhappy 3d ago
It's a little bit of stupidity, but it's mostly because the larger group is still out powered. One tank can take out thousands of rioters.
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u/Revenge_of_the_User 3d ago
unfortunately the smaller and weaker group also dictates what the armed group does - and the armed group is stupid and greedy so they enable the bad calls of the PDFile group.
The armed group enforcing the "rules" is what is preventing the more numerous groups from reorganizing the government in an afternoon, with BBQ sauce.
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u/Fantasy_masterMC 3d ago
... I mean, if those racist people were 80 at the time and already had grandkids, that makes some sense. It's not been 50 years since Reagan yet (that's 5 years off still).
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u/LouQuacious 3d ago
I met an Indian family who came in late 60s or early 70s they said at airport one line was for visitors and another for immigrants. They filled out paperwork and had green cards in like a week.
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u/yungsemite 3d ago edited 3d ago
> in like a week
That ‘like’ is doing a lot of heavy lifting. As in that’s bullshit. People from India did not arrive in the USA without pre-arranging an immigrant visa, and they did not receive a green card within weeks of arriving in the 60’s or 70’s.
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u/everlyafterhappy 3d ago edited 3d ago
Before 1965, it was incredibly easy for western European immigrants to get a green card. It was almost no wait and no real requirement besides the country of origin. Ok, there was some wait. It was more than a few weeks. Usually 3-6 months.
Coming from Asia was not easy, and it took 1-2 years to get a green card. Then in 1965, it got more difficult for the white countries and less difficult for the non white countries.
Though India was a little different became of it's long connection with England.
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u/DogBarf00 3d ago
That’s how international airports work…
A line for citizens and a line for non citizens. The non citizen line is then broken down to those who need a visa to enter and those that don’t.
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u/everlyafterhappy 3d ago
You're missing the actual point about how easy it was to get a green card.
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u/GrundleGrunt 3d ago
Why do you side with billionaires?
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u/everlyafterhappy 3d ago
I side with logic. Why dont you side with logic?
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u/GrundleGrunt 3d ago
You don't side with logic. You side with billionaires who want unlimited cheap labor. You don't stand with workers.
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u/everlyafterhappy 3d ago
All that because I pointed out that the point the other person was making was how easy it was to get green cards?
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u/DogBarf00 3d ago
The OG green card was created in response to WWII and required all aliens in the US to register with the federal government. No shit it was easy to get.
Immigration was limited until 1965 when national quotas were removed. Until the 90s when Clinton restricted immigration. Then 9/11 happened. Times change.
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u/GrundleGrunt 3d ago
You're fighting the good fight for the billionaires. Good job! It's great that you're on the same side as billionaires when it comes to immigration. Good for you!
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u/gnurdette 3d ago
Once again, ICE protecting us from the worst of the worst. Terrorist, rapists, murderers. Men delivering cinnamon rolls.
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u/The_Space_Jamke 3d ago
Well they're pretty lazy about the former three, there's a bunch stinking up Washington DC?
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u/everlyafterhappy 3d ago
While the first three are definitely more serious crimes, they aren't really much of a problem. The people working illegal are actual a problem, though it's mostly because of how many of them there are. They lower wages. Most people aren't going to do deliveries at the rates that Uber and doordash pay. Those services should raise the rates they pay drivers, but since they can just pay illegal immigrants poorly, they don't.
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u/bonjourbirdy 3d ago
I know it's not the point but each time I've seen this story the amount of cinnamon rolls increases
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u/Sexisthunter 3d ago
I saw her videos about the situation a few days ago, I just saw a news story on the update and my jaw dropped. I was watching expecting them catching the guy or a silly little mixup, only to be hit with the saddest thing ever. I feel so awful for him and his family. Fuck ice
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1d ago
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u/GoProOnAYoYo 3d ago
These are the "real criminals" I was told they're going after? Dudes delivering baked goods?
Seriously America cares more about an immigrant delivering cinnamon rolls than it does about literally genuine pedophilia. Fuck's sake
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u/Hegiman 3d ago
The American right. The American left is just as appalled by this as the rest of the world. Most of us are screaming as loins as we can about the fact these mofo’s are pedos. The majority of citizens are seriously at wits end with all this. Hell even some of those on the right are saying these aren’t the people they wanted taken out and have started speaking against it.
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u/jihyonce 3d ago
saw a video from the bakery about this a few days ago and did not expect this to be the outcome of it. hoping that ivan can be reunited with his family, this sucks so much
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u/JConRed 3d ago
Fuck the USA for letting this shit happen.
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3d ago
[deleted]
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u/kwicsilver1 3d ago
The rest of the world manage to do it without masked jackbooted thugs kidnapping people, hell the US used to be able to do it without masked jackbooted thugs kidnapping people
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u/poopinonurgirl 3d ago
The thing is that breaking the law in order to selectively enforce certain laws is bad and blatantly corrupt. Any “law enforcement” wearing masks and putting people in unmarked vans and taking them to undisclosed locations is a violation of everyone’s rights. Anyone who supports that is an authoritarian and actively working against some of the core founding principles of this nation
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u/Sxualhrssmntpanda 3d ago
And how many of those put children in cages or gun down citizens free of consequence? Yeah...
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u/wesleysmalls 3d ago
Shooting people for having a different skin tone is not “enforcing immigration law”
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u/Lostmypants69 3d ago
So who got the cinnamon rolls?
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u/PurbulentTriest 3d ago
Pierre said a family member of the driver found the cinnamon rolls and returned them to the police station, where Roll and Dough were able to recover them.
If only the article told us, hmm.
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u/donald_314 3d ago
Well the "article" tells me the following:
Access Denied
You don't have permission to access "http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/cinnamon-roll-theft-driver-detained-south-florida/3851651/" on this server.
Reference #18.46b62417.1787993623.1253d77d
https://errors.edgesuite.net/18.46b62417.1787993623.1253d77d
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u/khonsu_27 3d ago
Try opening in private tab. 50% of the time it works every time in bypassing that shit.
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u/donald_314 3d ago
Thanks for the tip. It didn't work. I think it's more of an EU thing where they don't want to comply with the law.
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u/AlliedR2 3d ago
You know ICE stole and ate at least some of those. Friggin criminals from kidnapping humans into the Federal trafficking system to stealing and impounding freight of the employers of those they kidnap. A reckoning is coming.
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u/DapperMolasses3280 3d ago
Well thank god that business didn't get their delivery on time...more useless, reckless, evil bullshit from the domestic terrorist group my country calls "ICE". Fuck this administration, I work as a gig driver and this shit is NOT making our country "great again". It's creating chaos and disorder.
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u/Rosebunse 3d ago
I remember hearing about this! I am happy that the baker wants to donate proceeds to his family but this whole story is so depressing
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u/nekosauce 3d ago
I saw the story on Youtube yesterday! I went back to see if the comments had updated with the situation but I think it got deleted.
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u/F1McLarenFan007 3d ago
Getting rid of democratic voters one at a time…. It’s going to be an interesting fall in American (pun intended).
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u/WillowgirlIII 3d ago
So how was this guy working for Uber without legal status?
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u/Rosebunse 3d ago
We don't really know because we legitimately cannot trust anything ICE says
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u/Puzzled_Muzzled 3d ago
Trusting thousand of dollars of food delivery to a random Uber courier, doesn't sound like a logical business plan. Go out and make that specific delivery with your own personnel, that you trust and have trained. That is a crazy risk to take.
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u/Hotshot2k4 3d ago
It definitely doesn't cost thousands of dollars to make 400 cinnamon rolls. I agree that it seems like an awfully big order to give to a gig worker, but calling it a crazy risk is overselling it. Uber will probably cover it anyway. Plus, drivers being detained by ICE mid-delivery is not a normal occurrence for businesses.
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u/PlantedinCA 3d ago
You are not valuing the baker’s labor at all in the process. That was an expensive loss in time and opportunity cost. She missed a day of sales at the market, reputational damage, and wasted time, materials, and market fees.
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u/Seyon 3d ago
The potential income was 3000 dollars. Probably if they were sold at 7.50 per.
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u/CorporateCuster 3d ago
It’s not just the potential income lost. She had a booth setup and had to come tin at midnight and basically prep 800 rolls alone just to be ready for the farmers market. That was basically her sad news. Not only did she lose the ingredients but also the time and labor and had to work non stop to prep
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u/AJ_Deadshow 3d ago
No, it probably wasn't that big of a loss, but what could have been thousands of dollars were the price they would be sold for.
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u/CorporateCuster 3d ago
She’s 21. It’s a small business that’s growing. She even said. I think this business has outgrown the use of 3rd party drivers for help. She was going to a farmers market
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u/throwawayt44c 3d ago
This is what peak flock looks like.