r/nottheonion • u/NicolasCageFan492 • 23h ago
America 'not at war' with Canada, insists U.S. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent
https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/bessent-carney-tariffs-trade-war-9.7326851767
u/RealLavender 23h ago
Narrator: America doesn't consider attacking other countries "war."
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u/Green-Cricket-8525 23h ago
“Special police action”
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u/Dry_Ass_P-word 23h ago
Sounds like something from Paw Patrol.
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u/shadedmagus 23h ago
Or the Kremlin.
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u/tdw21 23h ago
Literally the Iran “military operation”.
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u/Lazy_meatPop 22h ago
Operation " Close the straits and raise gas prices for my billionaires buddies to make record profit " .
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u/GildedDreams25 23h ago
this is the thing, the guard rails are broken, america will never formally declare war ever again, we will just attack shit, because otherwise we can’t get it thru congress
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u/fucktheus12 23h ago
That's criminal, so if you guys could just get your shit together we'd all appreciate it.
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u/GildedDreams25 23h ago
yep. you, me and about 45% of the country agree with you, the rest either like this because they’re evil, or they’re too stupid to care
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u/Drudgework 19h ago
The majority of citizens in this country actually, but polling is unscientific and easily screwed. Also certain people need to be reminded that this is what happens when you don’t vote.
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u/gnurdette 22h ago
Ha ha ha, "law". Such a charming concept. Are we doing a historical re-enactment? Should I break out my whalebone corset?
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u/RedditTechAnon 15h ago
It's not like some flag on the world state gets flipped from peace to war and everyone on the server gets an INT stat penalty.
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u/primax1uk 22h ago
According to America, it has only ever been in two actual wars; ww1 and ww2. Every other conflict has been 'special military action', 'peacekeeping mission' or similar bullshit justification.
And it's been involved in conflicts for around 225-230 of its 250 year lifespan.
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u/Drudgework 19h ago
So what was the explanation for the revolutionary war and the civil war?
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u/willun 16h ago
OP is only slightly wrong. He is correct that the last two times the US declared war was WWI and WWII. There were three other times but they were the war of 1812, the Mexican war of 1846 and the Spanish American war of 1898.
All a bit embarrassing really.
On at least 125 occasions, the president has acted without prior express military authorization from Congress.
I bet they have a Wikipedia editor on standby to update that section
And the answer for the civil war is there too
The American Civil War was not an international conflict under the laws of war, because the Confederate States of America (CSA) was not a government that had been granted full diplomatic recognition as a sovereign nation by other sovereign states[47][48] or by the government of the United States.[49] As such, the statutory authority for the use of the military during the American Civil War was the Insurrection Act of 1807.[50][e]
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u/AstralVoidShaper 21h ago
Yeah, we don't use that anymore. We call it "peacekeeping" as proclaimed by the Department of War. They have War in the name, of course they know what they're talking about.
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u/WaffleHouseGladiator 23h ago
These idiots are weird and dangerous.
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u/GoodIdea321 23h ago
They always underestimate what can happen and then lie about what does happen.
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u/SpecialOil6869 23h ago
I don't know if you know this; Scott Bessent is an asshole.
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u/ankerous 23h ago
He has one of the most punchable faces of all time.
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u/Hinermad 23h ago
Isn't there a German word for that?
Ah, here it is: "Backpfeifengesicht - a face in need of a slap." I was close!
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u/Green-Bumblebee-5554 23h ago
I swear, this man’s face belongs in a German-English dictionary just to clarify what that word is talking about.
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u/SmaugTheMagnificent- 23h ago
The stupid fuck is absolutely one of the few people I would suspect is a reptilian in a skin suit. Fucko's smirk is wider than his head
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u/Burgoonius 23h ago
Him, hegesth, Rubio, nutlick, Trump. Set em up like whack a mole and punch away.
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u/Randalor 23h ago
"Well, I don't think you can be in a tit for tat with someone that's 13 times larger than you are," he said. "
And yet, Canada wasn't bawling its eyes out over the US not buying alcohol, or crying over lost tourism, or...
So no, somehow I do think we can be in a tit for tat with someone 13 times larger than we are.
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u/casual-observer365 23h ago
I wish the interviewers had the balls to reply “How much bigger were Afghanistan and Vietnam?”
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u/king_bungholio 23h ago
American mainstream media lost their balls a long time ago.
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u/Rance_Mulliniks 23h ago
Yep. So did the American people.
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u/rambored89 22h ago
Most Americans trace their lineage back to some uber-religious cult that was "fleeing persecution." Being a nation of whiny little whimps is in our blood.
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u/Known-Associate8369 22h ago
“Fleeing persecution” meaning they were not allowed to be as fundamentalist as they wanted, so they went somewhere without laws where they could do whatever they wanted under the premise of “religious freedom”.
The Pilgrims story is a horror story when you really dig into it.
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u/metametapraxis 20h ago
The irony is that those cults were the very worst that even the religious nutjobs back in Europe considered to be extreme at the time. America was literally founded by the extremists that the "old world" couldn't cope with. They weren't persecuted -- they wanted freedom to operate unchecked.
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u/GiraffeWC 23h ago
This is extra stupid when you remember that the US admin also keeps trying to characterize a trade deficict between us as Canada ripping them off.
I can't imagine having such an unreliable grip on reality or basic math concepts like MAGA does.
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u/AffectionateBeyond99 20h ago
I work at a tourist spot in Canada. Attendance is up! Canadians are staying on this side of the border and tourists who might’ve gone to America are opting for other choices.
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u/ContingentMax 23h ago
Since when do wars need to be evenly balanced? What a ridiculous requirement to make up.
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u/LuJieFei 23h ago
Why 13 times? Is he talking about the ratio of USA's population to Canada's?
It's approximately 8.5 times.
Too much to expect them to correctly use numbers and facts.
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u/BloodFireCookies 23h ago
If not a war then why do I, a Canadian, feel compelled to review the Geneva checklist right around now?
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u/Early_Bad8737 23h ago
Well, in fairness, the Geneva convention is updated every time Canada goes to war, so perhaps you are trying to come up with a new addition to the convention.
By the way, I hope you win this one.
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u/Sea_Translator5300 21h ago
The convention is published in Canada as "The Geneva Book of Suggestions".
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u/PokeyHangers 23h ago
We certainly won't lose it
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u/eccentricbananaman 22h ago
To be honest, I don't think Canada has a snowball's chance in hell at winning a conventional war against the US, even if all of our actual friends and allies were to back us up. That said, I don't think we'd bother with even considering fighting a conventional war. We have the largest undefended land border between two countries, and our population is largely indistinguishable from theirs. It's easy to consider the implications. I don't think we could win if things ever came to war, but we sure as hell would make sure that they won't win anything either.
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u/Several-Bridge-6287 17h ago
Vietnam had no chance, Ukraine had no chance, Iran had no chance, yet here we are.
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u/FrCanadianSwearing 21h ago
We’d send enough of their sons and daughters home in pine boxes that they’d notice….
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u/grenamier 21h ago
I wonder if pine boxes count as “softwood lumber products” for tariff purposes?
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u/Hevens-assassin 20h ago
A conventional war? You mean one where people pretend it's not a real war, and shake their heads disapprovingly while letting it happen? Lol
The U.S. has spent trillions and trillions on weaponry, if they lost to Canada, it would be an absolute embarrassment.
That said, Canadians would be fighting for their homes, and guerrilla warfare would be huge. Canada is enormous. Most of the population is close to the border, certainly, but that border is huge. American troops amassing at the border wouldn't go unnoticed, and a lot of folk would distance themselves from said border and head further north to avoid an initial attack.
The U.S. in a 1v1 beats all militaries except maybe China. But if they are going to invade Canada for keeps, they can't kill every person there, and that makes guerrilla warfare pretty effective. At a certain point does the U.S. give up on occupation? Probably not because of Canada's wealth of resources, but the folks here would make it hurt when push comes to shove.
That's also ignoring that 50% of the U.S. would probably push Civil War 2 at the same time.
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u/Programmdude 19h ago
Ireland kept fighting back until they eventually "won". Canada would never be able to win a conventional war, but they don't need to. Vietnam couldn't either, but they still beat the US. Imagine what it would be like if they looked like you, talked like you, and could stroll over a thousands of kilometre border whenever they wanted?
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u/im_dead_sirius 15h ago edited 14h ago
Quite a few Canadians refugees would head south and occupy the enemy that way. The US has shaped a society where people can and do live under the table and outside the legal system.
Back home, we'd destroy our factories, mills and hydro, rather than letting them be possessed.
It would be an absolute forever war.
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u/bilateralrope 19h ago
Yes.
Canadian insurgents could easily hit anywhere in the continental US. Mar-a-Lago would be burning within a week or two.
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u/_name_of_the_user_ 23h ago
The United Statians love to praise a book about sabotage as if it were some kind of guide book for resistance. We have the Geneva Conventions for our guide book.
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u/boinky-boink 23h ago
That sounds like something a country would tell another country while attacking it.
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u/eliota1 23h ago
Neither are we at “war” with Iran technically
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u/FluffWit 21h ago
You are at war with Iran.
I'm sure your making some point about congressional approval and I get that but thats just semantics.
Any defntion of war you can find is going to cover the current conflict.
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u/namisysd 21h ago
Without congressional approval, it just makes it an illegal war.
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u/SpeedBlitzX 23h ago
The same Scott Bessent who said "Strait of Vermouth" instead of "Strait of Hormuz" that Scott Bessent??
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u/Scherzoh 23h ago
He has one of the most punchable faces I've ever seen. In every interview I've seen of him he also seems thoroughly unlikeable and has no ability to sell the lies he's peddling.
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u/redditismylawyer 20h ago
This mf starting up his own talk show. Every day his dumb ass out there runnin hot takes on shit that ain’t got nuthin to do with the treasury.
Looking forward to the Scott and Ja Rule Show
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u/littlebrwnrobot 23h ago
next week: we were always at war with canada
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u/Secure_Bed_9110 23h ago
No, next week they'll be claiming that Canada's retaliatory tariffs are in fact, an act of aggression and a declaration of war against the US.
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u/hazmodan20 23h ago
"The best deal"? Really? A "veto on any trade with anyone else than the US" is part of the best deal? Who is he trying to fool? We should stop circling around calling this a joke.
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u/GreatGreenGobbo 21h ago
Why is Carney doing it for "Political advantage" when he already has a majority and at least another 3.5 years in power?
That shows that Bessent is just taking bullshit talking points from whoever.
Also great slagging off the Canadian military. That will make us change our mind.
The "You can't tarrif US we're bigger" was also a head scratcher.
Here's the truth American Exceptionalism is dead. It's all a lie and bullshit. It was valid Post WWII through the Space Race but pretty much died after the Vietnam War.
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u/latefordinner86 20h ago
Why does every US official these days give off the overwhelming vibe that they are a phsycopath?
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u/Oregon_Jones111 16h ago
Obama presented himself as a decent person (though he was certainly more complicated than that) so racists now associate not being a complete psychopath with minorities.
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u/SeeMarkFly 23h ago
Canada thinks they are being attacked. Maybe stop that???
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u/Secure_Bed_9110 23h ago
It's not a matter of perception; Canada is being attacked.
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u/DarthBluntSaber 23h ago
Scott bessent is a treasonous piece of shit and deserves the penalty for treason
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u/Miserable-Biscotti54 23h ago
We are trying to hurt Canada economically. Based on folks financial situations that could be perceived and felt as violence. Especially with the cold season coming about.
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u/GildedDreams25 23h ago
not only that, we are trying to vassalize them entirely, we were demanding the right to choose who they are allowed to trade with. we are threatening their sovereignty as a nation
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u/metametapraxis 21h ago edited 21h ago
The US hasn't been 'at war' with anyone for years, but it has fomented and been engaged in an awful lot of wars. They are as bad as Russia, frankly, and increasingly every bit as brazen.
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u/Stinky_Flower 13h ago
I agree with United States Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent that Carney's poll numbers will improve.
Us Canadians generally want a leader that doesn't immediately surrender to a bully.
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u/Nbdyhere 23h ago
Of course we aren’t. It’s easy to guess because they aren’t handing us our asses yet. But keep letting that walking cancer and his band of rapey men poke them with a stick, it’ll be a fun history lesson. Aside from the death and all that is
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u/Zulmoka531 23h ago
I hate that guy’s smug face. Literally looks like he bottles his own flatulence so he can savor the smell.
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u/ScotchandRants 23h ago
What the fuxk...
Anything they say it's actually the opposite that's true.
To all my Canadian neighbors across the border...
Elbows Up...
This shit stain of a government has apparently just announced its intentions...
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u/gooddayup 22h ago
We’ve known for the most part since the election campaign 2 years ago. None of what they’ve said they’ll do or have actually done make any sense if you look at it through an economics lens. It only makes sense if you look at it through the geopolitical lens of a hostile, imperialistic country. Even the issue with Greenland, it’s as much about containment of the Canadian Arctic as it is about controlling Greenland’s resources.
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u/eplusl 9h ago
The problem with having to mop up behind the orange turd is that you're the one who ends up smelling like shit.
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u/CosmicChar1ey 23h ago
Yeah bombing the shit out of a Middle Eastern country is war, not squeezing the shit out of other neighboring countries and our own economies /s When you treat the entire world and your own citizens like shit, I guess it only makes sense to label the most egregious acts as war
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u/a_man_has_a_name 23h ago
It's weird this need clarified., almost like some people may think it because of something's happening right now.
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u/fucktheus12 23h ago
Our favorite game is one that a fight could break out at any given time and you might have to fight someone twice as big as you. Why fuck with people like that....???
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u/GrenHamblett 23h ago
Scott has his head farther up his ass than the Voyager probe's distance from Earth
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u/Comedy86 23h ago
Republicans were also saying the US wasn't/isn't "at war" with Iran...
Such a bunch of delusional idiots.
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u/Ok_Copy_9462 21h ago
How are we going to be at war with Canada? What, are they going to take their two submarines from the Edmonton mall and sic them on us?
As a Canadian I hate to admit it but this is actually pretty funny.
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u/Artistic_Skill1117 21h ago
No, what Trump proposed may as well been an act of war. I'm getting sick and tired of Republicans.
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u/No-Beautiful745 20h ago
Its sad that they have to declare that we arent at war with canada and we arent colluding with russia…when theres a bit of truth hidden behind those statements
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u/Intelligent_Sky_7081 19h ago
Semantics, they love semantics
It's a trade war dumbass. That's what people call it. You are in a trade war with the world since you started with your illegal tariffs
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u/Lobster9 17h ago
I've never seen a picture of Bessent that didn't make him look like a haunted ventriloquist doll
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u/Opinion-Former 16h ago
I’m a bit envious of Bessent. I always wished I’d have toilet white teeth like his and that coy, smirky “go screw yourself” arrogant smile. He truly represents American diplomacy.
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u/DKC_Reno 7h ago
Why the FUCK are we taking war advice from the Treasury Secretary?!? Never in history has a country been so fucking stupid and backwards
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u/ManicMakerStudios 7h ago
No, just actively trying to undermine, disrupt and sabotage us. America whispering in Alberta's ear to separate. Threats of annexation. Tariffs. Upending agreements. Petty antagonism. Not how you treat a neighbor.
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u/Dry_Ass_P-word 23h ago
I mean technically we aren’t at war with Iran either.
Same with every other “war” that occurred after the 1940’s.
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u/JC_Lately 23h ago
Really wish I could read the history book that will cover this period in 70 years or so, with all the lies and half-truths fully exposed and ridiculed with the benefit of 3 generations of hindsight. Of course, I’d probably have to learn Chinese first…
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u/Dumpstatier 22h ago
I’m js if we go full Fallout I want to be a feral ghoul. Brainless must be bliss right? RIGHT?
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u/Green-Cricket-8525 23h ago
What an odd thing to say