i just want to know if anyone within my age range relates to this, i grew up with this being regular behavior from almost every adult in my family over the age of 45
my father however is the prime example of this behavior.
he has always been one of those people who stands on his “points” and rarely admits he is wrong when talking/referring to other people. ESPECIALLY teenagers, my friends, and occasionally even my own boyfriend which he claims to love like his own son.
i have always strongly believed this was because of his trauma working in a prison as an officer, i feel like that’s an important point to make but im not using it as an excuse for how he treats me at times.
he’s been taking small things out on me for about 3 years now (ever since i was 13) and it’s often small things like housework, manners and respect, general responsibilities, etc. all things that can easily be fixed by talking to me and showing me how to do it. instead of taking action when it initially happens, he bites his tongue and stays quiet for an entire day and sometimes even a few days until he cannot take it anymore and explodes into a lecture about how “you need to pay more attention and listen better, to stop/start doing this and that, i did that when i was younger but once i realized i was fucking up i changed”.
i can’t even count the amount of times he has told me i won’t be able to live on my own in a year and a half or later because of the smallest things that i miss cues on, because i either haven’t learned how to do it yet or i have a different way of doing it that irritates him. i always try, but he’s incredibly hard to please unless i do things in a specific way.
this is a once or twice a month kind of occurrence, i’m left with no room to talk, explain or communicate every single time even though he always preaches that communication is key. it’s always nobody’s fault but mine and i seriously don’t understand why.
i was never given chores growing up and i was never taught or educated on how to cook, clean, put out a fire, work on a car and so much else that you could probably think of instantly.
i feel like i’m a failure because i was never taught basic things that everyone else knows by either of my parents.
now that my dad is a single father, he almost acts like continuing to raise me and educate me is the end of the world.
i would never raise my voice at him or any adult for that matter, so why does he do it to me?