Kia ora fellas, I’m Kyle
I’ve had ownership of r/transmanlifehacks transferred to me - which many of you know, has been unmoderated for a very long time. This place now has 4 new moderators, shout out to the team at r/transmantips for coming onboard. Clean up took a while as there were about 1200 reports to work through. We’ve permanently banned a shit tonne of transphobes and chasers. Be patient with us as we find our feet - personally I’ve likely messed up a few of the 1200ish comment/post reports but unless it's life or death or a danger to a minor, lets just try to move forward from here.
The ethos of this sub will be a place for trans men to ask for specific passing advice. Passing here means being undetectable as trans to the outside world, as in being assumed to be a cis man. Passing is something we take seriously here. We are in no way in opposition to those who do not want to be stealth, or who do not mind "looking" stereotypically trans - but this sub is specifically for trans men who want to pass and are willing to take steps to pass. Everyone else is a welcome guest, please act accordingly - please be self aware when giving advice if you do not have current lived experience as a passing trans man, and please do not make posts here if you are not wanting to pass.
I’m gonna be honest, this place is pretty famous for being an unmoderated cesspit of feral comments. Starting today we’re going to learn how to be kinder to each other. We can find ways to give feedback without aiming for each other's jugulars. On the flipside of that, do be prepared for a bit of hard honesty - have a bit of a chin, be willing to listen, and if something doesn’t resonate - then just move on with your life. There’s a balance to this.
So what's new? The rules. Please get acquainted with them. Use the report button if someone is breaking them.
#1 Respect others and be civil
Personal attacks towards members will not be tolerated. This includes comments such as "Are you even trying?" "You look like a woman/girl/mtf/lesbian," or other misgendering, body shaming, or any other unsolicited comments without giving advice. Treat all contributors and members with kindness.
#2 No "Do I pass?" Posts
Posts to this sub must have substance; "Do I pass?" is too broad of a question for us to give you accurate advice for your situation. Use this sub to ask for specific advice on clothing, hair, jewelry, mannerisms, etc.
#3 Be upfront about what you're not able to change (with legitimate reason).
If you are unable to change certain things like haircut, glasses and clothes due to factors like safety, financial situation, culture, etc., just be upfront about it! Ask for advice on what you realistically can change or use feedback to create a goal/plan towards passing, even if you aren't able to implement all the changes right now.
#4 No Hugboxing
Hugboxing (in this case, telling someone they pass 100% when that may not actually be the case) not only gives people false hope, but can also put them in danger if they're put in a situation where they may not pass when it's most important (bathrooms/locker rooms). You can still give compliments without telling someone they pass. We acknowledge that passing can be subjective, but let's put people's safety first, not just feelings.
#5 Minors in this sub
The safety of minors is top priority. As such, minors who ask for advice in this sub must:
- Specify that they are a minor in the title of their posts
- Be fully clothed in all images posted to the sub (yes, this may create challenges with asking advice on taping/binding, but again, your safety is top priority)
- Remove your post after 24 hours (or after you've received the advice you were looking for)
#6 No filtered images
Unless posting old photos for comparison (showing old haircuts, style, etc.), current photos must have no filters. This ensures that we can give you accurate advice for your situation.
#7 No sexualisation of members
Do not comment or send private messages to members saying “they’re hot” or attempting to hit on them. Anyone talking this way to a minor on this sub will be banned immediately and reported to Reddit.
#8 No Transphobia or Bigotry
Transphobes are not welcome. Kindly piss off. Transphobia, intentional misgendering, deadnaming, or general bigotry will result in an immediate ban. The existence of trans people will not be debated here.
I’m willing to take suggestions for how we can refine these rules going forward. We’re planning on adding new features down the line.
That’s enough from me for now.
Be the kind of man that you can be proud of, and build your brothers up.
