Last night my fiance and I received an email announcing that our venue is renovating... and I am devastated. They included photos and mood boards, and its genuinely awful.

Currently the venue has this super elegant mid-century modern / secret garden vibe, with floor-to-ceiling white organza draping, and a beautiful domed wrought iron gazebo in the ceremony space. Our wedding is lord of the rings/fantasy themed, and the space was perfect for what we wanted.

The new look is extremely sterile and modern. The drapery is being removed, the gazebo is being replaced with an ugly black wooden pergola. All the chandeliers are being replaced with ugly modern ring light looking things. The changes are making it look like some corporate lobby. I genuinely do not want to get married there anymore. I wouldn't have even considered the venue if I had seen what these changes were going to be be cause it is just a very bad aesthetic fit.

And that's not even getting into how close these renovations are to our wedding... they are scheduled to re-open TWO WEEKS before. I work in construction, I know how easy projects like this can go off schedule and I am sick to my stomach with fear that they won't be ready in time.

Of course the venue is taking their sweet time calling us back too, so I have been in a panic for the last 12 hours.

We are supposed to pay the next installment TOMORROW. Our wedding is in 6 months. Invites have been sent. Im at a loss. I don't want to get married there anymore, but I also cannot stand the thought of having to essentially start planning from square one again, with only six months to pull it all together.

Has anyone else been through something like this?

EDIT: The venue finally got back to us. Shockingly, they did offer to let us out of the contract and offered a full refund of the deposit, and were very apologetic about the situation. They also offered to throw in some decor items at no cost (like hanging the drapery back up) to help the space look like how we originally expected, if we decided to stay with them.

Fiance and I are still deciding, but I am actually very impressed with their willingness to try to make things right.

Hi Reddit! I'm a bride-to-be and want to make sure I dot my i's and cross my t's before the big day. If you're a past bride, a past wedding guest, vendor or anyone in between, I'd love to hear from you and get your thoughts on what would've made someone's wedding day just a tad smoother.

I’m getting married next fall and I want to break the news to my dad sooner rather than later. Basically, my parents have been divorced since I was 5 and I rarely saw my dad even though he fought for split custody. He was never a real father figure, never nourished me in the way parents do. My mom and my brother were the ones who raised me. To sum up the history- my father was an alcoholic and did irreparable damage to my brother and mom, yet they shielded me from everything just so I could have a relationship with my dad.

I love my dad, I’ve forgiven him a long time ago. So this isn’t to punish him or hurt him. I just want the person to walk me into the next chapter of my life to be my brother. He’s my favorite person in the whole world.

I am so nervous & sick thinking about telling my dad. He’s not the type to blow up or cause a seen, I just don’t want to hurt him, but I know I have to be honest. Any advice would help.

Hey hey!

Wedding is weeks away… anything you did that you wish you hadn’t…. Or didn’t and wish you had?

Thanks! 💜

I hired a small business to cater my wedding.

Our original communication for the menu:

Meats:
Carne Asada
Pollo

Sides:
Rice + Beans
Esquites

Drinks:
Hibiscus Refresher

We met, they quoted $15 per person.
She said they lost the list and had me resend our selection. She then asked me what price they quoted me because she couldn’t remember and I said it was $15 per person.
She then asked to come out to the venue so we could go over logistics regarding cooking space/setup. She came out, asked us again about or food preferences…. I repeated what we had already discussed and the total changed from $1545 to $1750 with the esquites added on to the order.

My coordinator and I asked them to show up at 4:00/4:15 the day of the wedding. My ceremony starts at 5:00.
5:00 rolls around and they’re still not here… I message them and they say that they’re on their way (which is 15 minutes from the venue). I told them that no one can drive up to the ceremony right now because the ceremony is about to start.

They set up at 5:30/5:45. So they were over an hour late to the agreed upon time.

There are no rice and beans. There is no esquites.

My coordinator approaches me around 8:00 right when we’re about to cut our cake and says that the caterer is wanting to serve the esquites. 1 hour and 20 minutes past the time dinner was served. I would say less than 15 guests out of my 112 were able to eat it.

When they were confronted by my MIL in regard to this situation, they said that we talked about serving esquites after cake (we never even mentioned cake cutting), and then they said that esquites is a mexican dessert and is always served after or in place of cake.

I don’t even know how to approach this.

AIA this is a bit of a pity post 🙂 I’m hosting quite a big engagement party at the end of the month and I just feel totally stressed out by it and all the anxiety of inviting different people from different circles along with difficult family situations. Worrying about people who don’t get along being in the same room, family drama, people not turning up, having friends message me asking to catch up before the party because I haven’t seen them in a while ETC I just didn’t expect to have so much to worry about and maybe I’m just having a bad day but it’s all just really putting me off the idea of having a big wedding which ironically was what I thought I always wanted🤣 I’m sure it’s just the anxiety talking and that everything will be great on the night but I wonder if anyone else has had a similar experience with engagement / wedding celebrations and could put my mind at ease? Or maybe experiences where you decided a big wedding just wasn’t for you?

Any tips to win a dispute claim from a wedding vendor (florist) that failed to do her job as promised.

Wedding was Friday and beautiful but the florist failed to deliver what was promised to us. We have receipts and everything plus photos of how dirty and unprofessional the candles looked. We tried to call to work something with her but she was incredibly rude and refuses so we're going this route (only partially on the credit card)

Hello! I got married 8.22. We worked with our photographer for our engagement photos and rebooked her for our wedding. As part of the wedding package, we were supposed to receive 10-12 sneak peak photos 72 hours after the wedding, which our photographer verbally confirmed with me on the day of.

I am trying to not let my eagerness become annoying, because I understand live happens, but it has now been over a week and we haven't heard from her at all. I sent her an email yesterday morning and we still have yet to hear from her. At what point do we reach out again?

Hi all! It's close to our wedding date and my partner and I are spiraling about when to book a 4-hour photobooth window. We're planning to have guests take a photo at the booth and attach it to the guestbook w/ an attendant's help.

This is our tentative schedule. Please give us some guidance about how to slot in the guestbook + photobooth idea!

5:00PM Guests arrive
5:30PM Ceremony
6:00PM Cocktail hour
7:00PM Dinner at toasts
9:00PM Cake cutting
9:30/10PM: Dancing

Thank you!!

It is now just over a month until our wedding. Everything is coming together nicely, but I am curious if anyone else is struggling to keep everything together from a physical perspective?

I absolutely have to maintain my physique to fit into my dress which is fitted specifically for my body. Further, I’m trying to maintain my skin to ensure it’s clear the day of, that I’ve reduced bloating while not losing weight etc.

I feel like it a full time job to eat enough but not gain, and debloat and not lose.

Our wedding was lovely! Unfortunately, though, our second photographer ghosted our lead photographer and never arrived.

We’re wondering if it’s fair to ask for a partial refund…but it’s a bit complicated. A few things worth considering:

- The second photographer was a ‘bonus’ addition to our package - we were not charged for it. (Edit to add: The second photographer WAS included in the contract and was NOT referenced as a free add-on. Based on my notes, the lead photographer verbally told us we wouldn’t be charged for the second.)

- Before leaving for the night, the lead photographer verbally admitted we’d receive less pics than he’d quoted us because the second wasn’t there. He did not offer a partial refund during that conversation.

- The lead photographer told us - less than 48 hours prior to the big day - that unless we paid him an extra $200, he would not arrive early enough to set up and scope out the venue. Essentially, he said we’d either have pay him for an extra hour of coverage, or we’d have to sacrifice our getting ready pictures so he can start scoping it out at the originally contracted coverage start time. We paid it once he sent us an amended contract, but it left a bitter taste in our mouth, since that was the first time he’d mentioned that he’d charge any set-up fees.

Also worth noting - our wedding was this weekend, so we haven’t received any photos back yet. Should I wait to ask until after we’ve received those pics? Any guidance would be greatly appreciated!

As the title states, we got a call from our venue (a harborside hotel in SoCal) that the AC isn’t working in the venue. They (and us) are hopeful that it can be fixed in the next five days, but in the meantime they did offer a few alternative spaces.

The problem is that one of the alternative spaces is outdoors, which we explicitly didn’t want to do because we wanted air conditioning for our guests to be comfortable. The other alternative space is a large outdoor tent that, while air conditioned, can accommodate a guest count 5X our size, so we’ll look absurdly small if we move. We can also keep the reception in our original space and just hope that opening the windows will keep it cool enough.

I’m trying to be polite about it, but it definitely throws a huge wrench in our plans. We picked our reception space because it’s on the second floor and has a better view, and it’s the perfect size for our guest count so we fill out the space without being too squished. I know things happen and we’re lucky that they have alternate options available to offer us if they can’t get the AC fixed, but I’m still a little peeved.

Would it be fair to ask for a discount if we have to pivot? Our contract doesn’t say anything about AC, but if we have to move to a different space because it’s not a comfortable temperature, would the venue technically have breached the contract by not having our agreed-upon space available? If so, what would be fair to ask from them? The reception space technically doesn’t cost anything because it’s built into the per person food cost and the food/beverage minimum, but our ceremony space (which is outdoors so we will stick with that space for sure) is $3,000. Would it be fair to ask for the ceremony space rental fee to be waived if we have to move the reception?

I’m getting married in two weeks and I have absolutely no idea how to write my vows.

I’m currently in full wedding-planning panic, thinking about the wedding 24/7, while the man I love and am about to marry is somehow getting on my nerves more than usual.

I know I love him, but right now I’m struggling to switch from “wedding planning mode” to actually thinking about us.

For those of you who have already written your vows: how did you start? Did you write about memories, what you love about them, your future together, or just start writing and see what came out?

I’d really appreciate some advice because I’m completely stuck.

Took some advice from my previous speech, changed some things around and added in some more words about the bride. let me know if there's anything I should change from here

Alhamdulillah

I’d like to thank all of you for being here, celebrating this lovely couple and I hope you’ve all had a lovely time so far today, and continue to as the evening goes by.  My name is bestman and after many years of me saying it, I’m glad Groom has finally admitted that I am indeed, the best man. 

I would be amiss if I didn’t start by mentioning the bridesmaids, you all look stunning. However, only to be eclipsed by our beautiful bride. Bride, words cannot do justice to how beautiful you look today.  Groom you are very lucky to have any bride sitting next to you but even luckier to have someone as beautiful as Bride. 

Groom I know that in Bride you have someone who professes total love for you, someone that has been an unfaltering pillar of strength and who has stayed at your side through thick and thin, through the good times and the not so good times.

Her loyalty for you is unquestionable and her faith in you is endless. It's clear to me that you have both found your perfect partner and I couldn't be happier for you both. Even if her first impression of me was probably that I was a ‘bit of an idiot.’ And that's putting it mildly.

There comes a time in everyone's life when they meet their one true love, their soul mate, the person that they are going to know and love for the rest of their life, someone they can’t picture their life without, and don’t want to.  For Groom, that day came 11 years ago when he met me.   

As I mentioned, I first met Groom 11 years ago, when we worked an evening shift together at work.  I had a feeling we were going to be very good friends when he didn’t report the things I said and did to HR.  During these last 11 years, I have had the pleasure of watching Groom grow from an awkward young adult, into a more awkward fully grown adult.

There’s never a dull moment when Groom and I get together and go on an outing.  Whether it’s him trying to explain to me that it’s not a good idea to jaywalk into a street on a rainy night so I could convince him I could stop traffic by raising my hands and shouting STOP! (it did work though), or me trying to convince him if I just start crossing a busy intersection, everyone else will follow my lead and do the same and the cars will just stop and let us cross (again, worked).  Or when he had to give me his watch to do an EKG on myself because I got a little too carried away with my cheering while watching football and got light headed and nearly passed out.  Groom has essentially been tasked with keeping me alive for the last 11 years, and I have to say, he’s done a bang up job!  So Bride, don’t worry, you’re in the hands of one of the most capable people I know.  And if he can keep me alive, I’m sure he’ll do a great job in always taking care of you.

Whether we were blasting Arabic music in downtown Chicago and having everyone give us dirty looks, going to the gym at 2am to work on pad work for kick boxing, visiting my family in Ireland, spending the day fishing, or just being two grown men attending the Spongebob Squarepants musical, thank you.  Thank you for being there, being someone I can rely on, for being a friend and being one of my biggest confidants through everything
Groom (face him) I would like to think that in the times when you have called upon me for help, I have always been there for you and not let you down because you have always been there for me.  I look back at some of the things we have done together and it makes me proud to have a friend like you.  We have had some truly great times and have shared some great experiences together, memories I will never forget.  I have been honoured to have been your best man and want you to know that I am proud of the person you are, and are becoming, more than you can imagine.  I leave you and Bride with this, always remember, love is a circle, it goes on forever.

Go n-éirí an bóthar leat agus Sliocht sleachta ar shliocht bhur sleachta
(May your journey be successful and blessings on your prosperity)

I ask that we all raise a glass to the Newlyweds, to Groom and Bride

I got eloped because the stress of thinking of who to invite and who would get upset if I didn’t invite them was so stupid to me I opted out of it completely. But I wanted to get perspective on a situation that happened a few years ago. My now husband got a wedding invite (and +1) of a former coworker
(they worked together remotely for a couple of months but never met irl) across the country. I had never the coworker and neither of us knew the bride. We obviously didn’t go, but I can’t stop thinking about a couple seemingly inviting a couple of strangers to their wedding. I know wedding planning isn’t cheap, did they actually expect us to go?

I guess I want opinions, even though I am pretty sure what people are going to say. I am having a 30 person wedding, very small and intimate.

I have an aunt and her family who things have always been sort of tense with. There have been years where are family is not in contact. We have been in contact for a while, but even still I don’t really have a relationship with them. They show no interest in my life. No questions about travels, doesnt ask my fiance questions, no comments really about our engagement or wedding planning, and i recently sent out save the dates and I havnt heard from them about it besides me messaging them about the year being wrong and them saying alright. Its been this way my whole life, my other sisters feel the same way. And there has been so many issues that they start with my parents.

I just sort of feel like i am wasting 4 seats, when it could go to people that actually care. Why should they get access to this just because we are blood?

My parents at first were against not inviting them bc it would cause such big issues. But after pushing, they said it makes sense. They think I should wait until invited go out and if I dont hear from them dont send an invite.

The only thing is, my grandma would be so hurt. But it only upset me having to invite them. And i guess I am hurt by their lack if care, and feeling stupid for feeling hurt. Its been this way my whole life, I shouldnt care.

So our wedding is October 30 2027. We just locked the venue down and I am now shopping for dresses for my niecds, myself and bridesnaids. I already decided I wanted the girls to wear both traditional white and the color the bridesmaids are wearing. Because I think it's cute af and they will look So adorable.

Here's the problem. I can't find a single goddamn website that has the following:

1. Appropriate cut styles (why the duck are we dressing small children with back dips that go down to the bottom???? Wtf)

2. A size 16 for flower girls specifically. (She is a size 14 but her mom will take it in for her so it's more comfortable) When I look at 'juniors' it just gives me bridesmaid dresses but she is a flower girl. I don't want her to match the bridesmaids exsctly... I love the white lacey flower girl style

3. Isnt using AI... Like why would I buy an AI dress

4. Has an appropriate age model!? All the models are either 5 years old or 15 years old and there is no inbetween???

Please ladies I've been scowerijg the internet. I hate Davids bridals looks. Azazie is nothing but AI and doesn't even have her size. Jjs house isn't any better either. It's so frustrating. I just want my sweet nieces to feel beautiful and happy- and these sites ain't it.

Anyone got any recommendations? I don't have kids myself wondering if I'm using the wrong search labels?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years (25f + 30f). We have been living together, work together, have a business together and a dog together. We are the bestest of friends, have the best relationship and I’m just head over heels with him.

His priority in life was never marriage, since his parents were divorced he always had sour feelings towards it. However, through our relationship, I kept on mentioning being married and engaged, since it is a life goal for me and it’s important to me.

Through our relationship we have decided that marriage should be in the cards for us after talking about it and working through past trauma. Mainly for medical reasons (he needs to be liable for medical decisions for me) and because I mostly wanted to be married. My boyfriend has thought he is too young which isn’t unrealistic for our country. People don’t get married until their 40s or late 30s. And they usually date for a decade prior. But i have felt that our relationship is too small to be just that, I want this person eternally.

So, the past couple of months has been a lot lot of conversation over proposal and engagement. His best friend is proposing later this year so I have helped him out picking a ring, showing him options. Along with that I’ve also picked out my preferences. We have had long talks over rings, over how he is super anxious to propose, how he is super excited to design a ring and how my nails should be white in October. Last night we sat in bed and talked about all of the above. We are also planning to get engaged, pick up a wedding licence almost immediately after and have big wedding in 2029/2030 when we feel like we can do it based on budget, etc.

So my question is, is this normal? Do people do this? Do people talk about their proposal so much before? Is this normal? Online it always seems like a huge surprise but somehow all the girls have their nails done and wear white, and I wonder what’s going on in the background.

My siblings and I were asking each other if we received a Save The Date to our cousin’s wedding. I was confused because the couple told everyone the wedding would be December of this year like a year ago. And they were wondering if we received further info.

I didn’t think much of it and thought typically Save The Dates are for those they plan to invite. I don’t expect an invitation. Weddings are crazy expensive and they recently had a tragic house fire. So, I figured they would either put it off or just a small intimate ceremony.

Until I got an invitation to her bridal shower. I thought…oh, they are still having a wedding then, I guess. And…well, I never received a Save The Date nor an invitation to the wedding. My husband and I moved early this year and are unsure if they even know of our new address. I get a text from my SIL asking if I received the Bridal Shower invite. I told her, yes and I’m going. She asked if I received a save the date and wedding invitation. I said, no. Neither did she and my other siblings.

I now think that she is just having a small wedding and no extended family members. Totally fine.

But my husband then pointed out if that is a small wedding and I’m not invited, then why would I be invited to the bridal shower. Which made me think…do people typically invite people they don’t plan to be at their wedding to their bridal shower? Cause, I agree with my husband that if someone is invited to the bridal shower they would be invited to the wedding.

So, now my brain is all sorts of confused. I plan on going to the bridal shower. I got gifts already. I just don’t know if I should mention I moved and that if she sent a save the date I never received it. Or just let things play out by doing nothing. I’d hate for her to think I was rude and ignored like an rsvp to the wedding and didn’t show up. Like I definitely don’t want to do that.

Has anyone done this before?

My fiancé and I are getting married in 6 days. I was wondering what are people’s favorite things they did on their wedding day that were extra special?

TL;DR - For those who are married - what moments, memories or little things you did on your wedding day that you remember most when you look back?

First of all, thanks for being here today.

When people ask where I’m from I never have a good answer for them anymore. But one day somebody followed that up with “well where’s home for you?” Still didn’t have an answer. But that question stuck with me.

When I met you I had no clue my world had just turned upside down. I still remember you sliding into my DMs about my sweet Crocs, agreeing to go on a date with me and then completely ghosting me. And now, 5 years and 33 states later, we’ve been on more adventures than some people will in a lifetime. And we’ve also been through more than some people will in a lifetime. When I told you I wanted to leave for Texas to be a lineman, you never hesitated at the chance to join me. When I got called to uproot our life again and come to Colorado, you never hesitated to join me. And when we were vacuuming water out of our flooded camper in 40 degree weather you never wavered. Just 12 months ago when I was broke and jobless you never thought to yourself “hey maybe this guys an idiot and I can do better” thank god you didn’t. Because when life got hard, you didn’t leave. You stayed and you loved me through it all. And that’s when it hit me. That question. “Where’s home for you?” Home is the girl that listens to me rant about the most minor inconvenience. Home is the girl that does that little dance and waves her hands around when I bring home ice cream. It’s the girl that golfs with me, and watches the Seahawks and mariners just because she wants to spend time with me.

Home isn’t a place anymore. It’s you.

I can never repay you for the sacrifices you have made for me. But I promise you it won’t stop me from trying. And I can’t promise we will never fight, but I promise I’ll never stop fighting for you. I can’t promise there will always be laughter but I promise to hold you until the tears are gone. I promise to honor you, respect you, support you, and encourage you. For better or for worse. My best friend

Trying to be sentimental and keep it lighthearted at the same time.

So my stbh and i have been together for 16yrs next month, not yet married, however i had a small cash return come to me this year (we are engaged have been for a long time) and i suggest to my so that since we havesome extra money we should finally actually get married. He agreed, we booked a date. But im feeling disappointed because of family clashes i feel like its not everything i want my wedding to be, i feel like some of my family doesnt want to be there because of the date i picked. Im so happy to finally be marrying my so, but im sad that i dont think its going to be everything i imagined my wedding would be

So as the title says I’m getting married in a week and my anxiety is taking over and I’m losing my appetite.

To preface I have some social anxiety when it comes to large formal gatherings but it’s never really a major issue or a showstopper. However, if I’m the center of attention, that ramps up my anxiety to the point where I want to puke.

A few months ago I was the best man at my friend’s wedding and the anxiety really only hit me the night before, but I was dreading the speech I had to give. The morning of the wedding I actually threw up because of it. I’ve done numerous presentations for school and a few for work and have never been THAT nervous, just the standard amount. I’m not sure why the best man speech made me feel that kind of dread.

When I gave the speech and got the laughs going I actually felt good and sharp-minded. It went very well, but the anticipation of it killed me.

Anyway I went to another wedding last night and in my head was like, oh I have to do all this next weekend. Cue the anxiety, and knowing what I went through a few months ago has not been helping me.

I’m sure I’ll be mostly fine when I’m actually in front of everyone, but it’s the anticipation and waiting that’s making me anxious. That and knowing I’ll have to be “on” for a large portion of the day. I also worry I won’t be able to eat much due to suppressed appetite.

Any advice is appreciated!

Did you choose to wear contacts or glasses on your wedding day? I almost always wear glasses, but is it more worth it to do contacts so you can see the makeup/the tears better? Did you regret wearing/not wearing your glasses?

my husband and I got married 2 months ago and asked his friend to run a karaoke station. he had the equipment already since he's a dj already and seemed excited to help us. Before the wedding I rented a projector and screen too. Day of wedding comes and his friend shows up with his fiance, but not once did he set up the karaoke station or acknowledge it and left the wedding early. I was pretty annoyed and haven't been able to brush it off, we had a very small budget ($12k) and I don't like to dance to karaoke was a fun alternative. The next day I asked my husband if he knew what happened and he did not.

Today was his friend's wedding; my husband was asked to assist with setting up the day before, day of, and break down the next day. He had to take off work for this, which hurt us as he's a contractor so he doesn't exactly have the standard pto, on top of having to pay $200 to attend the bachelor party.

When I arrived with him the morning of the event, much was not finished being set up and I was immediately told to help set up tables and then a seating area and then decore. My husband was part of the bridal party and assisted with the wedding all day long. Afterwards the groom pulled my husband and I aside and shared that the whole event cost about $40k and how this was underbudget. This just felt kinda out of the blue and unprompted and not something we had discussed with anyone during our wedding.

The day has ended and I feel a deep feeling of lack of care and respect from this person. From my perspective, my husband put far more care into ensuring they had a successful day than they did for us, despite having multiple tasks and us only asking him to do one thing for our wedding. I want to bring it up to my husband, but feel like I may be overstepping my bounds or just being a crazy bride who is just bitter everything didn't run perfect.