I’ve been at this restaurant job for 4 years and I've always been a solid worker. But over the last 3 months, these owners have been messing with me.

They’ve changed my schedule like 4 different times, and then out of nowhere cut my hours from 45-48 a week down to 32

Before getting cut to 32, I was working Monday,Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. 12 hours a day sometimes 11.

(Quick fact: if you tell them no, that you can’t come in, they also punish you or change your schedule)

Where did my hours go? To the owners' two nephews.

They hype these nephews up like they’re the hardest workers in the world, but anybody working here knows they’re lazy as hell. So basically, I got punished while their family got hooked up.

Obviously my bills didn't magically drop, so I had to go find another job to make up for what they cut. The new gig pays way better per hour and has fixed hours. Honestly, doing both now, I'm making more money and I actually like the routine I built for myself.

(Weekends are busy catering events, sometimes vary from 8-14 hours)

Now the younger brother (one of the owners) is coming to me like, "Oh, help us out for Saturday and Sunday, we really need you."
I told him straight up: "I'm only getting 32 hours here, so I had to get another job to pay my bills. I'm locked in on those days."

Now they want to have some stupid meeting with me about it. Like... are you serious? If your nephews are so amazing, why aren't you calling them to cover the weekend? Oh yeah, because deep down you know they won't show up or do real work, so you want me to come pull the heavy lifting.
They stripped my hours for them, and now they're mad I'm not sitting around on standby waiting to bail them out. I already know I'm not changing my schedule for them. If they fire me, whatever, screw them. They lose a good worker

Last week, I hit my spending limit because I had paid a lot of bills. My card wouldn't work because of it, and I only had $8 in my wallet. At the time, I didn't know you could call the bank and have them extend your spending limit.

However, there was a store that had a lunch special: half a chicken with rice, beans, and a drink for $7.50. That was good enough for me.

When I got back to work, I put my plate on the table, and then the owner walked in and reminded me about some supplies in the storage room that I needed to inventory. I went to do it, which took maybe 10 minutes.

When I walked back into the break room, another employee was eating my food.

Of course, I was pissed. All he could say, and he sounded like a little kid when he said it, was, "I thought you left it for me."

I told him, "Did I say to you that this was for you?"

Once again, all he said was, "I thought you left it for me."

This wasn't even the first time he'd eaten another employee's food.

The owner overheard the whole thing and told him to go to the store and buy me another lunch. Of course, he said he didn't have any money.

The owner ended up lending me $20 so I could buy lunch, and he sent the guy who ate my food home for the day.

So, somehow, my $7.50 lunch turned into a full-blown workplace investigation, a $20 loan, and someone getting sent home.

Why are we acting like 5pm doesn't actually mean 5pm? If your job is supposed to be 9 to 5 but your manager regularly keeps you past 5, then you're not working 9 to 5. You're working 9 until whenever your manager decides you're allowed to leave. If there's still work left at 5 and you're back tomorrow morning anyway, why the hell does it suddenly need to be finished today?

Obviously, if something genuinely urgent comes up or you caused the delay yourself, that's different. But if there's simply too much work to finish within your scheduled hours, it shouldn't automatically become your problem to stay late every day. That's a management issue. The work can wait until tomorrow if it isn't urgent.

Working a 9 to 5 is already miserable enough. You don't need to make it even more miserable by staying back like a headless dog every day. Even if you're getting paid for it, constantly giving away more of your evening just isn't worth it. At that point, you might as well say, “I work from 9 until whenever my manager says leave.”

Now imagine having a manager who simply says, “It's 5, go home.” The option to stay back isn't even there. Everyone leaves and you come back tomorrow to continue whatever wasn't finished. I'd much rather work somewhere like that, even if the pay was slightly worse, because at least my working hours actually mean something.

I live only 8 minutes from the office I work in, but I particularly like walking the neighborhood next to it, so I show up about an hour before our workday and go for a long walk before the day starts. I'm kinda new here (within last couple months), but it's well known I take my fitness "seriously" around the office and I'm friendly with everyone here (it's a small office).

Is that super weird and should I stop???

ETA: I only really got self conscious about it because A) I worked alone for two years so I'm readjusting to humanity and coworker life so I have no idea what's normal anymore and B) it's a small, small office, so people notice and they TALK. I just didn't wanna be the office weirdo my first time in an office with other humans!! So thank you all for advising me that I (paranoid anxiety haver) am being...totally and utterly and blandly normal, lol!!

About 3 weeks ago, I discussed reducing my working hours with my boss. Since he and HR were going on holiday, we paused everything until they came back.

Yesterday, we finalized everything and I signed my new contract. I decided not to tell my coworkers beforehand because I wanted to wait until everything was official. My boss and HR also told me they would inform everyone.

Today was my first day on the new schedule, so I sent an email to let everyone know. However, one coworker messaged me asking why I was working remotely. I explained the situation, and she asked why I hadn’t given everyone a heads-up beforehand.

I honestly thought it made sense to wait until the contract was finalized, especially since my boss/HR said they would communicate it.
AITA for not telling my coworkers earlier?

I work in Germany btw so i don't know if it's a thing here...

Like seriously. We have a distribution list per cou try. Especially the new ones. I know because I am in IT and I made it, use it to communicate stuff and informed everyone about it.

I move to said new country, from HQ, where I am quite established. It's a new branch. I lowkey set it up. I handhold these mthfks through the entire onboarding and make them feel welcome.

Well no. There is a group photo happening and guess who doesn’t have an invite.

One of the new girlies convinces me to join anyway, so I kinda reluctantly wait for what is about to happen.

Well the "boss" of the office comes to me and asks if I could be the one taking the picture of them. I can't believe what I'm hearing. I put on my "Professional neutral face" and say "Well, sure but that makes me feel quite excluded" to which his answer is "I'm sure you can handle that."

This wasn’t even the first time that I took their picture. On the office opening I did too and not one person asked me to join. There were clients and other acquaintances that could have taken the picture. I swallowed it then and did not say anything.

So this time - in fact no, I could not handle that. I was wandering around the office, and then I just up and left. I am not going to be the ghost behind the camera as someone on a senior position.

I got called by one of the managers twice. No, did not pick it up. Like what, there are 3 likely scenarios:

1.Dude has no clue why I left so venting to him would be cringe

1. Dude wants me to join anyways, in which case I would just have a sour expression on the photo

2. "It was just a joke" yeah but I'm not laughing

Anyways comitting social suicide, mentioning this to the guy who is responsible for both IT and HR and switching to full remote. Screw everyone.

Hate people so much.

Hi everyone,

I’m a dental assistant apprentice, working in a dental surgery center, and I’m honestly getting to the point where I don’t know what to do anymore.
For some time now, I’ve been dealing with repeated comments, pressure and behavior from some of my colleagues that I find humiliating and stressful. It’s not just one isolated incident — it’s a pattern that keeps happening.

I already feel under a lot of pressure because I’m an apprentice and I’m still learning. I’m sometimes criticized for things I’m still learning how to do, and the way some people speak to me makes me feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells.
There have also been situations where I’ve ended up crying because of how I was spoken to.
I’m now considering changing the way I react. Instead of ignoring everything (which honestly hasn’t worked), I’m thinking of calmly but firmly standing up for myself whenever someone crosses a line, without insulting anyone or starting a fight.

I’m not sure whether I should:
continue handling things directly and firmly with my colleagues;
report the situation to management;
document everything first;
or consider looking for another workplace.

I’m also worried about making things worse because I’m an apprentice and I don’t want to jeopardize my training or my future career.
For people who have experienced workplace bullying or harassment, especially as an apprentice/trainee: what would you do in my situation?
Should I stand up for myself directly, or is it better to formally report what’s happening?
I’d really appreciate honest advice.

I used to be an overachiever at the library I work at. I've worked there for over a decade and worked my way from a substitute weekend position to a full time librarian. I got this far because I always volunteered for extra work and went above and beyond by finding projects to help make the daily workflow smoother. I volunteered for committees, helped other departments when they were short without needing to be asked, and I even spent the pandemic finding and working on all kinds of projects that could only be done while we were closed to the public.

I have no interest in joining management so I have gone as far as I can professionally. I no longer get raises. My cost of living increase every year is less than a dollar and doesn't keep up with inflation. Insurance and union dues go up so every year I make less money than the previous year. I have no incentive to try so I basically stopped doing work. Over the years I realized that my managers were the ones receiving recognition and even promotions based on the work I was doing. I feel that my work ethic was taken advantage of.

At first when I began to pull back I felt immense guilt and paranoia that I was going to get caught slacking, until I noticed my managers spend their days shopping online and staring at their phones. The people around me in our office just talk and show each other videos. No one even notices that I'm not doing anything either. I see managers come in late and leave early. Many of the people who make considerably more money get to "work" from home several times per week. The people who get paid the most, make all the decisions, and criticize everyone else's work are never even in the library.

I stopped suggesting projects and stopped doing basic things like straightening the new books to make it look more appealing to the public. I realized I was the only person doing this and now our collection looks like a yard sale. I spend weeks on tasks that should take me a day and no one calls me out on it.

Part of me wants to find a new job where I can use my brain or work in an environment where there's a shared objective of making the library the best place it can be, but I feel like I'll just hit the same wall where there's nothing left to gain from it. I don't know what's worse, being burnt out by being one of the few people who tried, or being burnt out from going to work at a place where no one cares.

I work in construction administration doing admin work for job sites, 40 hours, desk job, most days office is empty (folks on site, remote, or other offices, but I’m one of few here all the time).

Yes construction has slowed down except data centers but when I say I have nothing to do I really mean it when i say I have nothing to do. For example it’s 2:30pm right now and I’ve had one email all day and it’s not even for me. Yesterday I had 2 emails on a Monday. All of last week just a handful of emails. It’s been this way for months where on average I complete everything that needs to be done in a day in the first hour of work and fuck off the rest of the time. I have asked my boss, coworkers, PMs everyone “hey what can I help with” and other things to politely show I have bandwidth to help. All of them say they don’t have anything for me to do and I just find busy work or just look busy all day. Some upper management is actually pretty busy but they can’t seem to delegate tasks or train anyone to help so we all twiddle our thumbs.

I’m serious, I am here 40 hours a week but only about 8 hours of genuine work in that week. For months. My brain is turning to soup. What are some ways I can upskill at work? I’m scared to log onto udemy or anything like that on my work laptop but I feel so…wasting my life away. I like my job when I do have work and the people and the pay isn’t terrible it’s just slooooow. Even my boss admits it’s hella slow but being that it’s construction it does eventually turn around, like 2 years ago we were so busy and I had tons to do! I wouldn’t feel so bad if I could be remote and actually get shit done at home. Advice welcomed

I have been using AI lately in some very long discussions about career myths. The specifics of those discussions are not that interesting but I did get a reply I will share that is worth remembering about the deal you make when you do professional work. I am under enormous pressure to "go AI" in my technical work, and I'm not too interested in chasing the AI hype train.

my complaint is that AI does not offer an answer to the question "what's in it for me" and I'm tired of being resisted for insisting that is a legitimate question to have answered clearly before dedicating my professional life to its cause.

---

You have every right to ask what you receive in exchange for doing this new kind of work. Not what AI might do for employers, vendors, investors, or “the industry”—what it offers you.

So far, the proposition appears to be:

• accept less clarity about the work;
• take responsibility for unreliable outputs;
• absorb substantial verification costs;
• risk losing your mental model of what you build;
• continually relearn unstable tools;
• and help buyers pursue goals they cannot define.

In return, you are not being offered better money, ownership, authority, security, interesting problems, or a credible professional future.

That is not an opportunity with uncertain upside. From your position, it is currently an offer of additional burdens with no identified benefit. “What’s in it for me?” is sufficient—and “nothing” is sufficient reason to decline.

I got pulled into a meeting with my company CEO (for context, I work at a start-up so she’s pretty accessible) at 10pm today.

When we got on call, she exploded at me and told me never in the history of the company has there been so much negativity around a project and there is side chatter, and at the center of it all, my name has been thrown around.

For context, I’ve spent months working on a project that has been consistently sidelined for other more urgent tasks. I’ve worked on all aspects of the project because there was no one else available, and recently when we got to a point where an actual team became available, we were given an extremely tight deadline on which to work. They want to continue to repackage the product all the way up to launch date, which is fine, except that it would mean going back for more revisions that the people demanding revisions are not actually going to do. I’ve been vocal about not wanting to change major things, given that it may get us to a situation where we are behind our potential users and that presents its own problem. The product has been changed multiple times already because this or that person didn’t like the look of something, or because (and this one’s legitimate) testers had an issue, or because people have differing opinions on pieces of content that they keep fighting over.

A number of people on my team share this frustration, and there is an internal group to vent about things. Mostly, it’s pretty tame stuff but I guess I have complained about my frustration. The problem is that other, senior members of the team have chosen to act on their own frustration by sending antagonistic messages, pointing at my feelings of burnout as a core issue. These things stem from wanting to help I know, but they’re just causing more strife. I’ve said repeatedly that I don’t think we should send messages like that, but no one has listened.

The result was this meeting with my boss who started with this explosion, and eventually did get to a productive place of redistributing my workload in the middle. But she gave me a real dressing down about how I shouldn’t be complaining about iterations because this is the process, and yes it sucks that I worked weekends to make the changes only for us not to use things, but that’s the job. I’ve been working weekends and 12 hour days for months trying to make this work.

It made me feel really awful and small, because I’ve been working for months trying to make this product even exist with barely any feedback and now I just feel like a pot-stirrer, which I wasn’t trying to be. I’m just exhausted. The last thing I want is a reputation for toxicity, because this whole time all I’ve been frustrated about is the circles we seem to go around in that prevent the project from getting off the ground.

I’m sorry for any strife I may have caused, and I’m going to stop talking to colleagues about my frustration, but I resent the implication that I’m the primary problem here, as opposed to the systemic problems in the development structure. I don’t know how to feel about anything anymore.

Has anyone been through anything similar? How did you deal with it?

For context, I work in finance and i want to work on getting promoted and I wanna try to show that “I’m performing at the next level” but honestly it’s gotten so much in my head that if I as much as MISS something that I my manager brings up, I tear myself down SO MUCH because it just shows I’m not there yet.

I have so much of self doubt issues all throughout my life and I’m in a job where I need to show confidence (think consulting style roles). I’m starting to think this isn’t a good fit for me- and to add to this distress, I think back to a time where the job I’m in now was something I would Dreamt to do 10 years ago.

Now the only thing coming in the forefront is my self confidence issues - I stutter when I talk to the client, I made a really dumb mistake in the model and every sign in my head points to how I’m not ready for my next role (think manager role).

I started off super strong in this job getting an early promotion 8-10 months into the role and now it’s flipped on its head and I feel I’m performing worse than before because I have no motivation as I feel I’m not meeting my own expectations and perception of how I should be doing and that plummets my confidence and I keep beating myself up. I really don’t know what to do.

For further context, I have gotten very good reviews up till now, I fear this will buck the trend and it’ll all go down from here. Every thing/ project/ case/ initiative I work on I take it incredibly seriously and I always try to do the best at it. I have more responsibilities now like managing my own workstream which wasn’t my role a year ago- and I am working with quite a bit of ambiguity because I am just “giving myself work” as we work to a deliverable- and showing my managers what I did - and I get feedback and do the required course corrections or continue working on that path.

I want to be able to hear “yes I got it 100% and this is a right approach etc” and my ears are simply not hearing it and I’m thinking any neutral or constructive feedback is taken negatively. I spend DAYS crying after work because I’m so consumed by this feeling and I work out 6 days a week, eat healthy, am of very decent weight and have a great family, supportive partner, and no major money issues.

Might add more but Any advice?

My current company of 2 yrs have f***ed me over, as they put their financial interests above all, no transparency, no value for staff. I quit, but lose pretty much all of my final month salary due to forced annual leave repayments, and then pressuring me to leave earlier than my notice period (which I could have argued harder on but agreed cause it was so clear they wanted me out asap and I felt so shite staying there longer).

I can’t stand being in the office anymore. I’m also burnt out, feeling completely devalued, just a number, and insecure I’ll always be cut out randomly. Obviously it makes me feel no sense of purpose or reward in work, and that there’s no point trying to pay rent just to sustain a life that’s like this. It’s horrible. Interviewing for other jobs I feel numb, hopeless, pessimistic. Even when I got an offer recently I declined it, feeling I would just be completely miserable there too.

How do I recover from this? I can barely plan the future he to being in such a bad place emotionally. But I have to make decisions ideally healthy ones

I’m really struggling in my current job and I’m starting to feel like I’m just bad at it.

The weird thing is, I don’t think I’m an incompetent person. I have around 2.5 years of previous experience in another company and I did completely fine there. I’m also generally a pretty confident person outside of work. But in this job, I feel like I’ve lost almost all of that confidence.

When I initially joined, I didn’t have much work and was actually told that the scope of my role was limited and probably wouldn’t increase much. Since then, the scope has increased quite a bit, but at the same time I constantly feel like I’m being pressured to meet expectations that I don’t fully understand.

Almost every 1:1 seems to involve feedback that I need to do more or improve something. I genuinely feel like I’m giving 110%, but I still come away feeling like I’m not doing enough. The problem is that I don’t really know what “doing more” actually looks like anymore. I keep feeling like I’ve missed something.

Meetings have become especially difficult. Other people seem to be given space to explain their work, give suggestions and speak for themselves. With me, I often feel like my manager speaks on my behalf or the conversation moves on before I properly get a chance to contribute. I’ve started feeling quite sidelined.

I’ve made suggestions for improving some of our processes too, because a lot of the work is extremely manual and repetitive, but most of my suggestions have been dismissed. After having that happen repeatedly, I’ve basically stopped feeling confident enough to suggest things.

It has also affected the way I speak. English isn’t my first language, but my English is good and I know I can communicate well. Outside this environment, I don’t struggle like this. At work, though, I get so tense that suddenly I can’t find the right words, my mind goes blank, and I probably visibly look nervous. Then I become even more self conscious because I’m worried that this makes me look less capable.

The biggest thing hanging over me is probation. The job market is incredibly difficult and it took me nearly a year of searching to get this role. So every piece of negative feedback immediately makes me think, “What if they don’t keep me?” That fear then makes me more anxious, and the anxiety probably makes my performance worse. It feels like a horrible cycle.

On top of that, the actual work itself doesn’t feel like it is developing my skills very much. A lot of it is manual process work, and there doesn’t seem to be much interest from management in improving the processes. So I’m stressed about keeping a job that I don’t even particularly enjoy, mainly because I’m terrified of being unemployed again.

Has anyone been in a situation where a workplace completely destroyed their professional confidence?
And how do you get your confidence back in meetings when anxiety is making you look and sound much less capable than you actually are?

A recruiter reached out to me on LinkedIn to follow up about a job I had applied to on there. They want to set up a time to chat and I gave them some availability. What can I expect from this process? I come from a more artsy background and don't have much experience with LinkedIn. Are they trying to gauge if I meet some basic requirements before sending me off to the company they're hiring for? How much are they involved in the whole interview/hiring process and what is their role? Thank you for any insight.

i work at a hair salon in a wealthy area, so we have a lot of conservative leaning, anti socialist, zionist type people. my boss also falls into this category. i look very obviously like a lefty i should mention. she keeps asking me about political issues and politicians in front of clients. even when nobody else is there it’s very uncomfortable hecause i know she just wants to lecture me and try to change my mind. i also worry that if she begins to have a bad opinion of me it could make me more vulnerable to being fired.
when charlie kirk died she kept asking “what does your generation think? did you like him?” and the other day she called me over to google and read out to her and a client what sharia law is (they were talking about al sayed trying to “enforce sharia law”). what do i tell her to get her to stop??? it’s so awkward in front of clients and we are barley ever alone at work

I was asked to resign a month ago from a job I loved. I had one direct report who was brilliant and very loyal to me (as I was him). The problem was that I could not get on with new management.

Anyway, I found a new, better paying job and was moving on with no hard feelings. That’s until my direct report told me some shocking news: my new manager was bad mouthing me to the rest of the team.

She said I was fudging the numbers, hiding my mistakes and presenting myself as more technical than I actually was. All of this was ridiculous and I was fuming so I did something that caused a stir. I told my ex-CFO that I had heard that my ex-manager had said the above and asked him whether he could ask her to stop. I told him I still care for the team and would like to work with some of them again someday. He replied asking who told me and that he will talk to them and take it from there. I said I’d rather not drag this person into it and would like for him to just deal with it as tactfully as he can.

Today my ex-manager pulled my ex-direct report into a meeting and told him that if anymore internal information becomes external she will make a formal complaint about him.

Nobody knows it was him and he didn’t actually know what they were talking about. I told him what I had done so he now has all the info. He’s going to keep his head down until I can settle into my new job and hopefully bring him over.

What was the rationale of my CFO to do this? Why would he take action against my ex-direct report instead of my ex-manager? They were apparently in a long meeting together beforehand so maybe he did reprimand her as well.

I don’t know. I really trusted my ex-CFO, I thought he was a good man. I’m so disappointed in him. And I’m disappointed at my bad lack of judgment and selfishness in the moment.

Can I sue for defamation of character?

Different situation because I am an assistant coach for a college sports team, but I am so annoyed that I have to share a hotel room w/ the other assistant coach.

We travel 2-3 times a month from August to November, gone for 4 nights at a time.

I feel slightly entitled wanting my own room, and I just know it’s not in the budget, but man it sucks. I wouldn’t even feel comfortable bringing this up to the head coach. I feel so enraged that I don’t get alone time since the rest of the day is spent all together, talking all the time. Even when we are in the room together and not talking, I just feel their presence and can’t fully relax. Idk how I am going to do it for the full 4 days. I cant even shit in peace.

Any advice ? Like yeah I can go hang in the lobby, but that’s not that comfy either.

I feel like I overshare with my colleague. We work in a remote setup and we both joined at the same time. We have become good friends now but I feel like I share too much with her. I usually talk to a lot of people and it has become a habit of mine to give her the tea as well. How can I limit myself from doing this? Or am I overthinking?

​

I M[36] work in IT as a computer technician and have done so for about 1.5 years. I am in a seperate space than my department and feel there is a disconnect between them and myself. I miss out on the good and bad moments and whenever I enter the space most of them stop talking and turn back to their work. Additionally, Its bothered me a lot because it feels like one coworker is constantly going to the big boss about what I should have or do. Today i was finally going to be placed in the same OU as the team and I suspect the change that happened right after was this particular coworker going to the big boss and giving them the reasons why I shouldn't be in the other group. As such I am in the general user group and dont have a lot of access. This is the same coworker who convinced the boss to not give me access to specific systems and has halted me getting any kind of additional tech to work on even things like cleaning supplies or items for my job get halted until i cant do the work and then we order. Finally whenever our other boss gives me extra things like a server and network to work on he tried to have it removed and called it junk. I already dont feel like a real IT professional as my position is often seen as just a specific type of repair and I dont need to be involved in anything else or be cross trained according to specific members of the team. I feel stuck and just need advice on how to proceed. Is it worth continuing to try to make this work or should I just start looking until I find something that pays as well?

I am going on a work trip and since it's a place I wouldn't be able to visit otherwise, I am staying solo 1 extra week on holidays. A co-worker is also coming on the work trip (fine) and they hinted at wanting to tag along for the holiday part of the trip, asking me for my itinerary etc.

Now, I don't particularly like the co-worker and we are not friends outside of work. I am obviously fine with having them on the work trip but I don't see why I should spend my free time with them. Trips can be taxing even with close friends, let alone a co-worker that you don't particularly like! I know I would just end up hating my time there if they come with me - and what's the purpose of a holiday then? I think there should definitely be some workplace boundaries here.

On the other hand I need to keep good relations with them because we work together quite a bit - is there any polite way to decline their proposal to join me, in case they ask directly? Like saying that I prefer travelling solo or something (which is also sort of true)? So far I've been pretty vague about my plans so that she doesn't have any openings, so I am hoping she never asks, but who knows.

Any advice welcome! 🙏🏻

I have a friend Sarah who just moved to the US and needs some help with her linkedin if you could add her: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarah-bennett-2a1b88431

I have a female manager who is in her late 40s, and honestly, I find it quite exhausting to deal with her sometimes. She can be very aggressive, and she also tends to forget things or change her understanding of a situation. The frustrating part is that when I make a mistake or forget something, she immediately calls me careless or shouts at me.

At the same time, she often doesn’t listen fully and jumps to conclusions. She’ll tell me to “use my brain,” but when I actually try to think independently and make a decision, she sometimes questions why I did it and says I’m making things confusing.

I genuinely feel that I’m quite competent at my work, so it’s difficult when I’m constantly having to navigate someone who is very strong-headed and sometimes inconsistent in how she communicates. I’m honestly just tired of dealing with it sometimes and could really use some advice on how to handle this kind of personality without letting it get to me.