I wish to belong. And I meant it in a way that means that I’m hers in every sense. Her lover, her pet, her joy, her light….. I just wanna be hers in every sense physically possible

Because I want to love her, I want to love her wholeheartedly. I want to love her, adore her, be hers and most of all make her feel like the most loved person in the whole world. I want to be hers in every sense…….. I want it so bad….

I want to be loved without restraint, I want to be loved as if no one else even mattered…. I want to be loved with all heart, soul and even body….

And that same love I receive, I wish to give back….

I yearn to be loved, I yearn to belong, I yearn to be hers….

I used to yearn for you so deeply. So intensely, with so much desire that sometimes it felt like there was nothing in me that didn’t want you.

Maybe I wanted you too much for too long. Maybe I held all of that longing inside until there was nowhere left for it to go, and eventually, it just exploded.

And now… it’s gone.

What’s strange is that I don’t even know if I want it back.

As incredible as it felt to want you that badly, to feel that kind of pull toward someone, I don’t know if I could ever willingly return to that place. There was something beautiful about it, but there was also something exhausting about carrying that much desire for so long.

It’s strange how yearning can turn on itself.

How you can spend so much time aching for someone, believing you’ll always feel that way, only to wake up one day and realize the ache isn’t there anymore.

And no, this isn’t about wishing I had never yearned for you, or pretending that wanting you so badly was some kind of weakness.

It’s about realizing that sometimes there can be so much yearning that eventually, there’s nothing left to give.

Not longing.

Not desire.

Just depletion.

And maybe that’s where I am now, not because I stopped caring overnight, but because I spent so long wanting that eventually, the wanting itself ran out.

I hate my dreams for how they always hunt me,

Giving a false promise before waking me up to this reality.

A short bliss from an existence that doesn't exist,

A false world that was never meant to be for me.

-

It's not even funny—it feels like a cruel mockery.

I'd rather get stabbed, throw the knife away, and let it bleed,

Than to live a false life where all I wanted was there to see,

Because I know I will soon wake up in this reality.

-

How can you even start the day after experiencing that?

Can you still smile after losing what you don't really have?

Tell me, how can you cope after losing a life you always want?

How can you ignore something that you've already loved?

-

That's why I always love and hate my dreams.

It shows me a beautiful life where I want myself to be,

Then, after building all those hopes, it ends abruptly,

And expects me to continue living my life peacefully.

Entonces los vi, allí sentados en esa banca... entre risas y besos. Los miré fijamente cual si fuera un naufrago en un mar de recuerdos que te reviven constantemente.

Porque los vi y no pude evitar recordar que fue en una banca donde encontramos ese beso que ninguno buscó; donde fueron esos "cinco minutos más" que nos hicieron tener infinidad de sensaciones y emociones..

Y sí, otra vez mi mente me hizo viajar en los recuerdos donde no bastó más que una banca para hacernos sentir cariño.

Porque no era el lugar, eramos nosotros.

Y si, otra vez estoy aquí sentado extrañándote.

I've always been called a good soul and when I hear those words I think of you. I don't idolize celebrities, but I idolized you. From the big hair to the trampy clothes, I, too, spend a lot to look so cheap. People like Dolly bring so much light that you forget they, too, live in the cycle of life. I love when you said you don't have time to get old. Although, you never looked down on aging, you recognized that with age comes wisdom to offer so you kept giving. You are a beautiful soul, but I didn't fall in love with you because of your looks. It was hearing you speak. The tone of your voice sounds like hope in humanity. The words that roll off your tongue were more than wisdom; it was glory. You radiate many things but to live so long on the same tone of goodness speaks volume on why so many people like myself adore you. What I love about watching you throughout the years is much more silly but more familiar to my soul's language. Many adults lose their playfulness, but you let everyone see you don't follow social norms. You kept your innocence in a world of chaos and you showed many that kindness is worth being embraced. You made it seem effortless when everyone knows that choosing peace is a continuous conscious choice. May you rest in Peace. 🩷

(I hope this is allowed)

What does it mean to fall in love? Is it lust? Is it devotion? Is it comfort? Is it need?

It’s none of them for me. Love for me is home. Not just comfort, even the bad parts. Home is safe. Home is chaotic sometimes. Home has its problems. A leak or two. Sometimes big problems to….. but we fix them. Together. One person trying to keep it together doesn’t work because a home needs 2 people to make a whole. That’s what love to me is.

A safe space. My home. You’re my saviour from the cold dark yet my problems that make me seethe with heat in the summers when the heat that’s trapped doesn’t leave.

That’s what makes you perfect. Not a single moment that passes where I feel worried that you’d go because our home is special. We built it together. From the ground. This home matters to us and we matter to eachother. That’s why our love is special. It’s our safety. It’s what makes us truly alive.

Our home. My home. You.

I can't tell what's real anymore. I'm mistaking abuse for love. I don't know if I'd be able to spot it even if it hit me in the face.

to the man i haven’t met yet,

i wonder where you are tonight.

maybe you’ve just made yourself a cup of coffee. maybe you’re scrolling through your phone in bed. maybe you’re laughing at something stupid with your friends. maybe you’re asleep already.

and maybe, just maybe, you have no idea that i’m somewhere out here wondering about you.

i don’t know your name yet.

i don’t know your eyes, your laugh, your favorite song, the way you take your coffee, or what makes you feel loved.

but i know i want to know.

i want to know all of it.

i want to love you in the quietest ways - tucking myself into your arms, kissing your forehead, resting my head on your chest, holding your hand underneath the table, leaving little notes for you, listening to stories you’ve told a hundred times because i love hearing you tell them.

i have all this love inside me and sometimes i don’t know where to put it.

so i send it into the universe.

maybe it reaches you somehow.

maybe one day, when we finally meet, you’ll understand why i had to wait so long.

until then, please be safe.

please laugh often.

please take care of your heart.

and when you finally find me, i promise i’ll have a thousand little ways to tell you:

there you are. i’ve been waiting for you. ♡

AHHHHHHHH IM YEARNINGGGGG

I low-key just wanna cuddle someone as I spoil them, adore them, love them as they love me back and call me their boy

Like omfg- I just wanna be someone’s lover, be someone’s belonging, be their owned pet even. I just wanna be theirs in every sense.

I wanna be their comfort, their lover, their security, their safe space. The one person they have at the end of the world….

I just wanna belong to someone, be collared like their pet or whatever and just be theirs so so so fucking bad…..

I heard you are getting married

You changed the tattoo etched after me

Into your new one's name

Did you see a piece of me in her

Am i being delusional to think so

How do you bring yourself to love sunflowers when you've loved roses all your life

How did we get to where we did, was it misunderstanding, emotional disconnect, I'd never know

To think someone else would get to see you,

The first in the morning

The night before going to sleep..

The night before you become someone else's forever, if you wish to continue with someone like your beloved

I still have those letters, those promises, the cards you made, The kisses still linger, somehow pain replaced the former

Do males get married first, because you are certainly going to be one

We've known each other since forever, so it feels, time's supposed to heal me, ain't done much healing

It's been exactly 3 years since I last looked at you, your tender eyes

Is it fair to be remembering someone.. Reminiscing someone who forgot you long ago, I do not know

A part of Me wished you'd come back to me, we'd get back together, after all how could you leave me behind like you did.

I wasn't your responsibility.. You weren't mine.

We were at stages of life so different my conscience betrayed me

I was betrayed by my sleep, my everything since you left

Betrayed by everybody but you

Yet somehow everything leads me back to you

The night I heard about you stepping onto your new life

My life hasn't been the same, it's all so vain

I wish I could face the truth, face the fact that you lied when you said "I'd die than be with someone else"

Are you dead yet? If not why do I get to see what you said you'd never show

I wish someone would take my heart out and shred it into millions of pieces

Because the one i have now, it aches so badly i could barely fathom

My friends Think I have moved on, I no longer care, when as a matter of fact all I care about is you.

You being there, yes you aren't

You not choosing someone else over me, but you did

A part of me knew it was all a lie, the other wanted to believe otherwise

If i were to marry someone else someday, would you bother?

Then again, Why would it matter after all of that

It's been so incredibly painful, I wish, I so do, It's the most pain I've felt in my life up until this point

I don't think marrying someone would make me forget your touch, your kisses your smile

That smile was enough to make my day, someone became what shattered me

Delusional enough to believe in your lies, something that you no longer remember

Do you remember you took my sandles, i took your jacket, It was raining and I asked what you gonna do with those, you replied "I want to hold your sandles, is that a problem" And we were laughing like it was the last of the earth

Sometimes I wake up, with my hands searching for you, only to find your absence, still lingering

I haven't been able to look at someone else the way I looked at you, I genuinely feel miserable

I didn't believe in God, neither i do now

But I've lost count as of how many temples, mosques, churches I've been too

You did say, religion didn't matter to you,l hence it didn't matter to me

And it never will

In past 3 years I've felt so much of agony, I don't want to leave the earth while you're still alive, but do want to perish so i don't get to see the what you made me feel

Do you not feel shame, how could you.

I did tell you

I would get a tattoo, angel wings because that's exactly what you were,

Only to hear that you didn't want no tattoo on me, because that's how you loved me

Our random eye contact, me staring at you, you staring at me, got to be the memory of a lifetime

I promised myself today,

That I won't think of you again,

I finally found my own way,

A path to numb the pain,

You have haunted me too long,

I just finally grew a spine,

I think I will manage somehow,

Without you, I will be fine,

These are the last words I write,

Before I start up the flame,

I will burn all that I have written,

And you'll be the one to blame,

I will sleep like a baby tonight,

Free of guilt, sorrow and pain,

Whoever meets me tomorrow,

Will think I'm completely sane,

Who am I even kidding though,

I'll keep thinking about you some,

About you and our life together,

Until the day you finally come.

I'm drowning once more

Not in silence, but in noise

Noises I couldn't ignore

Noises I've already heard before

Saving is not what I'm looking for,

But a warmth to ease the cold—

Of the solitude that I hold.

A warmth that can always hold.

I'm scared,

I don't know where to go

Looking for someone to care

But is that what I'm really looking for?

I'm me—I know that I'm strong,

But what strength is if you're alone.

All the strength I have, what is this for

If there's nothing I could fight for.

I am not Odysseus

My Penelope ran off with the suitors, and I hope she's happy

My Argos died before I returned

I am not Odysseus

I am Outis

A whisper in the crowd, an oxymoron that people wish was true

And I am true, paradoxically

My tale is still being written and told

Eyes glowing under moonlight

Or computer screen

While my heart mourns the past

Hands and feet building my future

Retro-causality my bow of choice

Spells cast with metaphysics

I am not a hero

I am an antihero

You will regret me, but I will make it up to you

Beloved

https://youtu.be/Lwph-JelXO8?si=ky6guXs55dThg-4R

The three words

those three words you're so desperate to say.

You say you'll wait.

You say you're okay. But all you want

is to say those three words.

Three words.

Those three damned words.

Why is it so hard to find a way

to say those three words?

You wish you could say you're okay,

but with every passing day,

all you want

is to say those three words.

But will I ruin it all-

all that we could have-

if I say

those three words?

So here I am.

still waiting

for the day

when I finally can say those three words, everyday.

Thank you for reading my poem.

I've loved her since the moment I met her, but because of circumstances, it'll be a long time before we can even try to be together.

She told me to wait for her, but I honestly don't know how you're supposed to wait for someone you love like that. Every time I talk to her, all I want to do is tell her how I feel, even though she already knows. We both know there are feelings there, but we can't act on them yet.

I just want to give her the world. I just wish I knew how to be patient enough to wait for the person I love without feeling like I'm slowly losing my mind in the process.

Desirable enough to be kissed, undesirable to be kept

Always the writer, never the muse

Always the artist, never the art

Always the one looks at the sky, never the one to be looked at

Always lusted, never loved

Always the one to talk to, never the one to be walked with

Always left, never right..

Almost enough but not enough to be with

Somehow , somewhere loved, yet always unloved

What I wouldn't give

For you to wake up one day

And change your mind

To listen to that feeling in your heart that you ignore

I've convinced myself it won't happen

That I'm destined for someone else

I try to yearn for that hypothetical

But for some reason

There's haze in that vision

Like I can't imagine it

Some sort of visual noise

Of you and me

Somehow making it

It's silly for me to even consider

After everything

But hey

Stranger things have happened

Call me a romantic

Or call me an idiot

Long as I'm yours

https://youtu.be/KWhRCOtRngA?si=bzjDOUexCAcBBhZg

I wonder if you know what moves through me when you tell me that I’m going to see you again. It is 100% anticipation without anxiety. It’s a calm assurance that something good is going to happen. When you are in the room, there is a stillness that washes over a calming and quiet sense of peace. I don’t know how you do that. I don’t know why I feel it only with you. Even our mutual friend mentioned that he had never seen me quiet down and become so still with another person.

I don’t know what it means. I don’t know if I want to know what it means but I know I want to feel it as often as possible without encroaching on your personal time or space.

The way you apologized to me yesterday was so sweet and so sincere, but my friend you had nothing to apologize for.
It stung deep down inside to see that somewhere in the world. Someone has put expectations on you in the past that are unreasonable and inhumane. You do not owe me any explanations or anything. I am simply grateful for whatever time and space I can share with you.

When you speak to me directly, it’s like the rest of the world, simply fades away, and I am more present in those moments than I am in any other part of my life.

I also see that the way you are navigating your circumstances and going about things is the best possible way for the best outcome for everyone in your immediate circle. I will never stop being in support of something that is for the betterment of everyone. Even if it takes that precious time, those long side after moments, away from me.
I do crave your presence but never at the expense of anything important to you.

Part of me wants to tell you these things that I feel, this peaceful anticipation, without anxiety. But I’m also afraid that I may be misunderstood and that it would push you away. I don’t want to bring anything negative into the atmosphere that you bring to me . I never ever wants to be a burden to you.
Just seeing you sitting across the room, tapping on a drum, telling me a story brings something I’ve needed for so long. . I sit, watch and listen in bewilderment of you.
I watch, see and feel your whole being simply exist in my orbit where I can see it, and it feels like you have taken away the noise of the world.

Thank you for being who you are and sharing what you can with me. No matter what happens, you will have a friend for life me.

No one has ever given me a more precious gift and I cherish it more than you will ever know.

I just want to put this experience of mine into words, if someone responds that would be lovely but if not that is okay,

I am 17m and have had feelings for this girl since I was 13, I really really liked her then but we were friends and i was too scared to risk that friendship that I didn’t say anything, as well as being a scared little 13 year old anyway. So I tried to bury that feeling deep down, then a year after i caught these feelings I tried to hide them even deeper by dating a girl who was very different to this original girl, and that almost worked for a couple months, but then the feelings resurfaced (they were never truly gone) and that messed up said relationship, but I did not share that with the girl I liked, and she then got into a relationship with my closest friend so I once again had to hide these feelings, a year or so later they broke up, and I hate to say it but I was happy about it as this meant my fantasy of being with this girl was more realistic and my feelings got a lot stronger for her but I felt like it was wrong to say anything as she dated my friend who I have known for 10 years of my 17, so I waited, then we got even closer as friends in this past year and my strong liking has developed into what I feel is a love for her (I know my view is limited though as a younger person and it may not be truly love) but she then got back together with her ex (my best friend) and I tried once again to suppress these feelings but I couldn’t this time and I was/am obsessed/addicted to her and I struggled to hide it although I think they just about didn’t realise, they once again broke up about a month ago and now even more then before I cannot stop thinking about her and imagining what could be. Ideally do think I love her and I really want to be with her, and have done for 4 straight years, but I would feel very wrong to try anything even if I allow a lot more time to make a move as it is my oldest friends ex girlfriend and he was really hurt by the breakup.

These feelings are swallowing me up and I really want to say how I feel but I just can’t. How can I get this off my mind and stop loving her and just move on?

I love when you yearn.

All the things it makes me learn.

Between us, the fire could burn.

So please, don't ever take another turn.

Without you, my stomach would churn.

It's true... I let you earn this yearn.

And yes, I can be stern.

But love me gently, and I'll never spurn.

With me and you, there'll never be a downturn.

If there ever was, my heart would burn.

I don't want that to be our concern.

Just promise you'll always return.

Maybe one day you'll discern.

So lay with me through the nocturne.

And I'll always love you in return.

You.

I could just write that one word and it means so much to me.. what I wouldn’t give…….

To steal glimpses of you brushing your teeth…

Walking across the room like o wasn’t even there…

Ugh …. To just be able to look over and see you playing video games…. Or listening to music or whatever the fuck makes you happy…..

I wish I made you happy.

Why am I such a tragic mess?

Men have offered me so much just to be here…?lord only knows why…

But you made me smile before I even ever knew what hit me. Even when you were sad.

But you don’t seek me. You never reach.

Some times it feels like you intentionally avoid me. And I don’t know what to do with that .

It hurts.

I only want to see you smile.

This poem was written about a guy who I met through video games online. I quickly found out he had a partner and he impacted me so much that I had to write a poem about how I felt about him. He doesn’t know I have a crush on him and I wouldn’t tell him either. I respect his relationship and I wish them the best.

Is it crazy to miss a person you never kissed?
Is there a genie out there to grant me a wish?
She’s so lucky to have known the taste of your lips…
I rather have never known of you at all
Than to sit here and miss out on your presence

Are you tender in bed?
Are you romantic as you seem?
Do you get easily angered?
You just keep showing up in my dreams.

She’s so lucky to have seen you at your best
I’d be grateful to see you at your worst.
I can tell she makes you happy
Maybe in a different universe,
I’d make you happy too
In this lifetime I’ll never get to experience, happiness with you…

I’ll let myself sit with this grief
How could I ever miss something I never had?
I bet you taste so sweet..

All i see is glimpses of your life on the internet

I see so many posts referring to “the real” someone.

Well, I can’t speak for everyone, but I can speak for myself.

The “real” me is a meanderer. A slow stroller. Too soft, too generous and too caring.

The real me get walked on, talked over, disregarded and taken advantage of.

The “real” is tired of being hurt.

I look for ways to find a smile. Little things do that. Giving someone the bigger half, watching to animals, seeing my kids do well, seeing your kids doing well.
But there’s also a part of me that’s fed up.

A part of me that pushes people away if they get too close.

That rants about being tired of getting taken advantage of.

Every facet of who I am is tired to the core.

That angry vigilante isn’t the real person beneath. It’s who comes out when the “real” me gets tired of being walked on.