The title sounds bad, I feel incredibly bad, but the offended person claims it’s not my fault, so yeah…I’ll try to tell y’all what happened.

I (32m) live in a house in a small town. Two years ago, my neighbour (42f), let’s call her Becca, moves in. Now I am a guy, who loves a good joke and so I have an incredible first impression of her, when she introduces herself to me with a prank. Not gonna tell, what the prank was, she’s using Reddit and I don’t want her to recognise me. So we hang out for the rest of the day till night, we chat, play a card game and chat and joke some more. Next day I visit her, same program and it’s great making friends. We come to know each other and I learn, that she’s widowed (uh-huh), she loved her husband and he died in the first year of their marriage (riiight). So it didn’t really feel wrong, when she asked me out one day and I accepted. Long story short: We got in a relationship together and it was awesome. It was a big plus, that we lived next to each other, but at some point, she had to leave every other week, since apparently her job demanded that. Still: We made it work and at some point we were looking back on two years together.
Then, one evening on a Saturday in a week, when she was away, my doorbell rings. Thinking it’s her, I run to the door and say “Hey there Becs.” I look up and it ain’t her. In front of me stands a tall, muscular, bearded man, very handsome and in his 50s and when I say that, his face becomes this incredibly pained expression. Fk me, I’m about to cry, when I think about this face. He looked so genuinely heartbroken and then he said: Uhm…yeah hi OP…I’m Becca’s husband.”

Now I feel like my heart and balls are falling into a pit beneath me and I notice, just how tall and strong he is, but then, when I see the look on his face, I know he won’t hurt me and I feel so incredibly sad for him. So instead I step back and invite him in.

I lead him to my living room and ask him, if he wants something to drink. He says no, but I tell him “You know, when I was hurt or wronged like that, my gramps would make me hot chocolate with chili, so I’ll make you that. It’s the least I can do.” He smiles a bit at that and even though a few tears roll down his cheeks, this smile makes me feel a bit warmer. So I make him his hot chocolate and then sit down with him. First nobody says anything, but he takes a sip of his chocolate and I think he seems to like it. So I tell him: “Sir, I’m so incredibly sorry.”

He interrupts me and tells me “No Sirs here, please. Just call me John.” I introduce myself to him, before I remember, he already knows that and I could kick myself. I tell him, that Becca told me, she was widowed and I genuinely thought, she was single. If I had known, that she was married or taken, I would have never even gone on a date with her. He listens and nods. He tells me: “Yeah, that’s what I thought. You seem like a good and thoughtful young man. That’s tasty by the way. Thanks for that.”

He tells me, raising his cup, but his smile is so sad, when he says that. He then tells me about his relationship with Becca. How they met and married and how she seemed to have gotten a bit “mysterious” as he puts it, the last few years. He’s 11 years older than her and there was first some frowning about the age gap from friends and family, but they were truly happy together. Or so he thought.

He then asked me, how I met Becca and our relationship and so I told him. He listened, asked questions but he never got angry with me. In fact there were some instances, when we were laughing a bit together, like in a fond way. We then talked about other stuff as well, I told him something about myself and he in turn told me about himself. And guys, let me tell y'all: That man is a fkn saint. He's so smart, has such a big and kind heart, has this sense of humor, that's dumb and sophisticated at the same time. He has done so much good, but he waves it off and is humble, when I tell him, how admirable that is. And then at some point, I look at him, realize what an amazing human being he is and how I hurt him and I just start crying. He's completely surprised by that and asks me, what's wrong and first, I can't get a word out. He then comes over and sits next to me on the couch and rubs my back, still asking "Hey kid, what's wrong? Tell me?" And I just can't stand myself anymore and tell him, how fkn sorry I am, that he's such an amazing and kind person and I'm so sorry, that I hurt him so much. He then starts tearing up himself and I don't know why, because I only know him for a few hours, but I go in and just hug him. He hugs me back and I just cry against his chest, telling him how sorry I am and that he deserves so much goodness and instead I hurt him and cries as well and rubs my back and tells me: "Shhh, it's all right. I don't blame you. You didn't know. And you're a good person. You wouldn never have done that, if you had known, I am certain of it." And yeah, we're kinda sitting there, hugging and comforting eachother. After that, he takes his phone out and searches for limmericks, since that helped him to cheer him up and I do the same and we read a few limericks at each other, laughing our asses off at some point. He then says, that he has to go back home, since Becca was returning from visiting her parents and I accompany him to the door. We hug again and I apologize again and he assures me again, that it wasn't my fault and that he doesn't blame me and so he goes and drives back home.

It's already almost morning again, and even though I feel exhausted, I just know I can't sleep, so I call one of my closest friends and tell him what just happened. He heard how upset I was and invited me to stay at his place. He also told me, that it wasn't my fault and Becca can go fk herself, but I still blame myself also.

He suggested, I use his laptop, make a Throwaway and ask an objective crowd with no ties to me, so here we are.

So I wanted to ask you: AITA?

So I want to give her the benefit of the doubt.
But I moved in with my boyfriend and his parents, he is not an only child but his older sister no longer lives here.

Background I’ve had a partner cheat on me before.

But when I moved in I started doing/folding our combined laundry.

Some more context we live in a bedroom on the first floor and his parents have a master suite on the second level of the house.

As I was doing/folding our laundry I noticed multiple pairs of panties that were not mine, of course my mind went to a horrible place having a past of a cheating partner so I asked my boyfriend who’s they were. He replied “I don’t know” only to find out they were his mothers… I spoke with him about my past and how this makes me uncomfortable. Mind you, it wasn’t a whole outfit of hers it was just panties.

Also context it was thong panties, sorry if that is over sharing!

He asked her about it and her excuse was that sometimes she would “change out of her work clothes in his room” under this logic it would be an entire outfit not. just. panties.

He ended up defending her and I just asked that it didn’t happen again as it weirded me out.

It continued to happen. Multiple times.

She also has her entire closet upstairs so she has to change into a new outfit upstairs anyways. It has been really confusing.

I did leave a pair in the living room, I do admit this is petty af of me and I do take responsibility for the pettiness.

But this has been happening for about a year now and my bf no longer wants me to bring it up, although he also does find it strange that it is just panties.

I don’t know how to feel about it now and I don’t want to fold her undergarments and I would feel uncomfortable if she had to fold mine and would never ever make her fold my panties.

I know this is her house and I do respect that so AITA for being upset? Should I let this go?

Open to criticism.
Sorry for the long post!

I recently broke up with my girlfriend. I had reasons for breaking up with her but I could have broken up with her in a better way.

I broke up with her on a school bus yesterday, I waited until there was a small group of people and near my home.

While talking I said

"Um, I have something to tell you.."

"what?"

"I think we should break up..!"

She looked so confused and said "oh.. why??"

and I tell her I just don't see it working

she said "Well I'm not going to force you in a relationship with me if you don't want it"

After I got off the bus I texted her the reason, I don't remember what I fully said but it was about how I like her at first but then she started doing things I didn't like.

Joking about sa. Being really touchy with her friends or making jokes about cheating on me with them. Controlling my clothes or who I was friends with or how close I was to them (even my sister). How she would mock me, and keep doing something when I said stop or don't do that, I don't like it. There's more but I'm lazy.

After she said she understands that but she wasn't the only one that messed it up. That I kept pulling away by not giving her my hairbows (didn't have a lot) and won't give her my hoodie (the hoodie that I just got, and had to beg my mom to let me wear it, and it was my favorite color!)

I explained why I did that, anyways later she asked how long I've been meaning to break up (probably to tell her friends) and I said probably a week.

I ask if she ever thought about ending it or if she cheated on me (she cheated on me the first time we dated, two times!)

And she said she thought about it but more of a hypothetical and I thought she might be cheating 'cause she didn't specify so I asked her when and with who?

And she got angry and said she meant the breaking up part and I said I didn't know, she didn't specify. Then she said "fuck you, I'm not like that anymore"

Also it's been a day since we break up and she said "you're the best thing that happened to me, it's going to be hard getting over you" but girl is literally acting fine, and all ready calling me ex instead of my name

So glad it's over! 🥳 I'm free!

Also I don't exactly what I texted her 'cause I have a bad memory and the reason I'm asking if it's a mistake is because I just want other people's opinions.

I’ll make it simple.

I struggle very hard with women and I’m 34. A hot 25 year old likes that I make good money and wants me to spend 70% of all I make on her as she cheats and doesn’t respect me. I told friends I’m not even remotely interested in the prospect and they are saying I’m acting entitled or whatever.

I just don’t see how she’s not the sole benefiter of this relationship, she is the only one who’d get anything positive out of it (hell , I feel I’d only get something negative out of it). Maybe I wouldn’t be great at sex because I’m inexperienced but she’d be sleeping with other men the whole time… so how on earth do I have anything good coming from this?

I don’t think I am the AH but maybe I’m missing something huge. Yes or no?

I'm a guy in my 30s, and I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for six years. For a long time, things between us haven't been going well. There's been poor treatment, very little care or interest, hardly any emotional connection, and not much warmth or sense of peace at home.

I've also been working from home for several years, and at some point the loneliness and lack of regular human contact really started getting to me. I began going into the office once a week just to be around people again and feel a bit more normal.

At work, I met another woman. We got along really well and started spending time together whenever we were both in the office. We were also attracted to each other, and some flirting developed. She is married.

After about two or three months, we deliberately toned the flirting down. Nothing physical ever happened between us. No kissing, no sex, nothing like that. The relationship gradually became more of a friendship.

We still saw each other once a week at the office, and during the rest of the week we would message each other about ordinary everyday things: how our day went, what was bothering us, what made us happy, interesting or bad things that happened, memories, dreams, stupid jokes, random thoughts. We supported each other, listened to each other, appreciated each other, cared about how the other person was doing, and remembered little details about each other's lives.

It became this strange but, in many ways, innocent relationship where we gave each other a lot of warmth and kindness. In hindsight, a lot of it was probably giving me something that had been missing from my relationship for a long time.

We would send each other pictures of sunsets, flowers, nice things we noticed during the day, things like that. But the relationship stayed in this sort of friendship-with-a-dreamy-undertone territory. Sometimes we complimented each other. There was probably still some underlying attraction or tension, but nothing physical ever happened.

This went on for more than a year.

Sometimes we would meditate together or just sit and relax. In a weird way, we became almost like very close girlfriends, despite obviously being a man and a woman. We talked a lot, supported each other and became very close emotionally.

Then suddenly my girlfriend found photos of this woman on my computer. I had saved some pictures she had sent me because she had a habit of deleting them shortly afterward, and I wanted to be able to look at them properly before they disappeared.

My girlfriend contacted the other woman's husband and told him about the whole situation.

I have no idea what happened between them afterward. I don't know whether they had a huge argument, how she explained it to him, or whether he believes her that nothing physical ever happened.

When I explained everything to my girlfriend, I told her that I had been extremely lonely and socially isolated, that I had needed human connection, and that I ended up becoming close friends with someone of the opposite sex and that the whole thing developed from there. She seems to believe me and has, to some extent, forgiven me.

The situation is still very fresh, so there's obviously still tension between us, but strangely enough, I would actually say that my girlfriend and I have been getting along better since this happened than we had for the last few years.

At the same time, I've now been completely cut off from my friend from the office.

And I'm struggling with that a lot.

She had become one of the closest people in my life. We talked almost every day and spent a full day together every week. She was someone who brought warmth, encouragement, companionship and genuine interest into my life.

Then, from one moment to the next, she was simply gone.

There was no goodbye. No final conversation. No last meeting. No chance to say anything to each other. Just an abrupt end and complete silence.

Part of me feels as though someone close to me has suddenly died, even though obviously she hasn't.

And that's what I'm struggling to understand.

Do I have the right to grieve this friendship and feel genuinely heartbroken about suddenly losing someone who had become so important to me?

Or am I simply an asshole for allowing myself to become this emotionally close to another woman while I was already in a relationship, especially knowing that she was married too?

I genuinely don't know how I should feel about it.

My girlfriend and I have been living together. Recently, I lost my job. I struggled to find work immediately, and during this time, she clearly set a boundary.

If I couldn't make my half of the rent, the relationship would be over. She stated she has a strict standard against supporting a man financially.I fought hard to get the money together. I sold some of my belongings and managed to land a new job relatively quickly, but the timing didn't pan out perfectly.

I wasn't able to get the full rent money together in time for the deadline.Because I missed the deadline and wanted to respect her explicit boundary, I explained the situation and told her I would move out as she had mandated.

Now, she is furious with me. She claims I "didn't fight for us" and that I just gave up on the relationship without fighting because she "isn't worth the effort." From my perspective, I did everything I could to get the money, but once I failed, I was just following the terms she clearly laid out.

AITA for leaving without a fight?

Ok so for context I am a petroleum chemist full time working mom. We have a total of 4 kids under our roof. 2 older step kids of my husband's from previous and we have 2 young boys of our own. For the past 4 years, I have worked 2 jobs. I worked 40 hours at my regular job and then 10 hours at their daycare to get reduced tuition. It was horrible. Now I am free of that yay! But I just still feel like the load is unfair sometimes. I pack the lunches, do the laundry, do 90% of the cleaning, potty training, homework, flashcards, dishes... I do not get a break. Occasionally my husband will just pass out after dinner and leave me to do the boys bedtime routine by myself. They share a room and they are both VERY active. I have to shower and bath them and brush the teeth and do the story while he sleeps. And if I bring it up the next day, he flips out and says I dont consider that he is tired. I feel like if I was a stay at home mom or if we genuinely split the housework 50/50 it would not be that big of a deal. Or if he just apologized, but he flipped out on me today for basically saying he left me high and dry. Oh and he has never done the bed time routine a single time by himself when I am home.

I know the title sounds ridiculous, but I need some perspective because I feel like I finally snapped.

I’m a stay-at-home mom with a 10-month-old daughter. I take care of her most of the day and handle most of the evenings and nights. She is a difficult sleeper and wakes up several times, so her bedtime routine is very important to me.

Our usual routine is: dinner → bath → pajamas → breastfeeding → cuddling until she falls asleep.

Tonight I was running a little late making dinner. My husband decided to bathe her while I was cooking. He didn't ask or tell me; he just did it because he thought he was helping.

The problem is that she was now already in pajamas but hadn't eaten dinner. Her whole routine was out of order, and I knew I would have to deal with feeding her, breastfeeding and getting her to sleep while he would eventually go to bed. I also wasn't going to be able to eat dinner myself.

I got extremely angry and sent him to sleep in another room.

But I know this isn't really about the bath.

For years I have felt increasingly trapped and invisible in this marriage. My husband is not a bad person. He is calm, kind and generally a good person. He almost never gets angry or yells. The problem is that I don't feel emotionally connected to him.

When I get upset, he mostly wants everything to be okay again rather than understanding why I'm upset. He gets sad, gives me puppy-dog eyes, says something sweet, and wants us to move on. I feel like we restore peace without ever fixing what caused the problem.

There are also ongoing issues with money and control. He is extremely frugal and I have to justify small purchases. He has questioned the cost of gifts I bought him and even made me return things because he thought they were too expensive. He has checked the rubbish to see what I ate. I don't really know our complete financial situation or how much money we have.

Even when I was financially independent and paying for things myself, this was an issue. When we were dating, I once wanted a second piña colada while I was paying, and he stopped me because he thought it was too expensive. At the time I ignored how strange that felt.

Our sex life is almost nonexistent, and I don't feel understood or emotionally connected to him. I have asked him to go to couples therapy before, but when we went he mostly joked around and tried to make everything seem fine.

Tonight I finally told him that if we don't seriously go to therapy, I don't think I can stay in this relationship.

He said yes.

I believe he loves me. I believe he is a good person. But I don't think we are happy together anymore, and I feel completely trapped and suffocated.

I also have a 10-month-old daughter, and leaving the country with her would obviously be legally complicated, so I can't just pack a bag and go home.

So, Reddit:

AITA for getting this angry about him bathing our baby without telling me? Or was this just the final straw after years of feeling unheard, controlled and disconnected from my husband?

I (40M) have a younger brother "Jake" (35M). We've always been close, but we have very different approaches to money. I'm careful with my finances. I save, I invest, I live within my means. Jake has always been the opposite. He spends money as soon as he gets it.

A few months ago, Jake bought himself a brand new luxury car. He told me he paid $50,000 for it. He was so proud, posting photos on social media, showing it off to everyone. I was happy for him but I also thought it was a lot of money to spend when he has a perfectly good car already.

Last week, Jake called me in a panic. He said he's behind on his rent and his landlord is threatening to evict him. He asked if I could loan him $6,000 to get caught up. He said he'll pay me back in two months.

I told him I can't lend him the money. I explained that he made a choice to spend $50,000 on a car instead of saving for emergencies. I said I have savings, but that money is for my kids' education and my retirement. I told him he could sell the car and buy something cheaper.

He got really angry. He said I was being judgmental and "shaming" him for his purchase. He said I'm his brother and I should help him in a crisis. He said he'll lose his apartment and maybe even his job because he won't have a stable address.

I told him I love him, but I can't be responsible for his financial decisions. I offered to help him sell the car and find a cheaper place to live. He said he shouldn't have to sell his car to get help from his brother.

Now he's not speaking to me. My mom called me and said I'm being "cold" and "selfish." She said I have the money and I should help him "because he's family."

I feel guilty because I do have the money. But I also feel like if I give in, I'll be enabling his bad habits. AITA?

So I met my boyfriend 3 years ago and have been with him ever since my bf (M19) and I (F19) are currently away on vacation however an issue has become apparent in the last few months . He has been pestering me for sex CONSTANTLY I am on birth control and it has seriously had an effect on my libido so a lot of the time I say no . He doesn’t really get the hint he continually asks me even tho we average at about 2-3 times a week . Last night he asked again and when I said no he said I was being stupid and then started asking over and over and guilt tripping me . What can I do to stop this situation any advice is greatly appreciated

I (25F) had two classes back to back in two separate buildings. At the end of the first class, one of my male classmates sparked a conversation about internships he was considering (I was helping him weigh out some options). This conversation carried on as we walked outside, where another male classmate joined and said to the other guy “I’ll walk with you to class.”

I was planning on walking to my car and driving to the next class, however, we kept talking about the internship fiasco and ended up just all walking to class together (we were all in the same class…twice).

I casually told my boyfriend (35M) about me walking, he asked who I was walking with and I told him the truth. He had a whole tantrum because I was “walking with random dudes”… I don’t believe I did anything wrong, he thinks I’m being disrespectful. Reddit, pls let me know who is the crazy one here. I need back up.

I (20M) have been with my girlfriend (19F) for 5 years. For the past two years, her entire life revolved around preparing for a crucial university entrance exam. It was her absolute dream, but it was stressful, and I started feeling neglected because her focus was 100% on studying.
Instead of supporting her, I acted like an idiot. I met another girl and for about two weeks, I had a secret affair messaging her, meeting up, and getting physical/intimate.
The worst part is the timing. She was already under immense pressure, and right when the results came out and she found out she didn't get in, the truth about my cheating came out as well. Instead of being there for her as a safe space when her dream fell apart, I dropped this bomb on her at her absolute lowest moment.
To make matters even worse, right after telling her everything and seeing her completely broken over the exam and the betrayal, I left her. I officially dumped her and spent the next two weeks openly being in a relationship with the other girl. After those two weeks, I realized what I lost, ended things with the new girl, and came back to my ex expecting us to work things out.
Now, she is completely shattered and traumatized by the fact that I abandoned her at her absolute lowest point just to play house with someone else, only to treat her as a backup option when I changed my mind.
AITA?

Is it weird that I (19) female and my gf (18) female. I told her that I really wanted a studio apartment for background I’m about to be 20 my gf just turned 18 she moved in with me during her hs senior year. I’ve been supporting us financially and everything since I was the one with the job. I did tell her she didn’t need a job which I later told her that the pressure was too much and I needed her to get one. Granted when she does get money she helps ( birthday money or wtv) but for the most part I am the one taking care of us. So I told her I wanted a studio apartment she does not want one. I told her when she gets a job then she can have a say in where we live since I will be the one paying the rent and utilities. She said that she doesn’t need a job to have a say and that I was being inconsiderate by basically choosing what I want. I reiterated that when she gets a job she can definitely have a say and I’ll take that in mind but until then the lease is under my name and I will overall pick what I want. AITA?

Burner account. My (22NB) bf (22M) of 2.5 years and I had an argument the other day. It started as it always does. I was having a hard day. (For context, we just moved to another state for his job, and adjusting and finding consistent work for myself has been difficult, especially with a partner who tends to avoid interdependence and is generally a bit emotionally absent. Its hard to really get/offer any sort of support because he feels like we should just deal with everything ourselves.)

BF tends to enjoy ribbing and teasing as a way to be playful, but sometimes I'm just not really in the right mood for that sort of thing, especially when I'm PMSing and would prefer a little more of a gentle variety of TLC as apposed to the teasing and banter (which I often have no problem engaging with. I love it too. Its one of the first things we liked about each other - we're both fans of playful bickering.) But when I'm already feeling under the weather, I just don't really have the energy to engage with it. I'm naturally quite a sensitive person, I've developed a thicker skin over the past two or so years, learned not to take things too personally. But throughout the day, BF took the teasing and picking on me a little too far. I waited until the day was over as to not sour his good mood -as my bringing things up like that usually would- and told him "hey, I know you were just playing around, but you said some stuff that was hurtful today." I listed the couple things, and I guess I hoped for a little sympathy and acknowledgement and maybe an apology. Instead, he became icy and cold and started defending himself and expressing that I was being overly sensitive, and that since I was PMSing it was *my* job to remember to not take his more hurtful jabs to heart, rather than his job to be more considerate of if I'm feeling a little more sensitive than usual, and sarcastically remarked that he didn't know he had to walk on eggshells all the time.

The conversation quickly spiralled into him making it all about him. Staring airing out all the things he has taken issue with recently and basically trying to one up me for the little thing I pointed out. Taking my small thing and making it into a bunch of huge things, and saying a bunch of hurtful stuff. He tends to take advantage of when I bring up something that bothers me so he can go, "oh yeah? What about this and this and this and this- etc. That *I'm* upset about?" I try to tell him he can always bring that up and I'm always willing and happy to talk about what bothers him, but he basically just said he wouldn't do that, and that he thinks he should just be able to wait until I bring something up that's bothering *me*. Which has always meant that the things I get hurt by are never acknowledged or apologized for, and everything just gets redirected to him.

The conversation ended by me crying myself to sleep beside him, and the following day was just filled with silent treatment and cold shoulder.

AITA for being really upset about this?

I've been friends with Alex for about 14 years. We met online through gaming, eventually met IRL, and have had plenty of arguments and periods where we didn't talk. Despite that, we'd always eventually reconcile.

Recently we'd gotten close again and were playing games regularly.

One ongoing frustration was that I like trying different games, while Alex tends to stick to the same few. I've repeatedly tried to get him to branch out with me. For example, I'd been asking him for months to get a guitar for Rock Band so we could play together.

He told me he was broke, but said he'd go half with me on one when he got paid. I was fine with that.

Then, in front of me, he spent over $300 on CS2 skins.

I know it's his money and he can spend it however he wants, but it bothered me because it made me feel like spending money on something we could do together wasn't worth it to him, while $300+ on skins was. I didn't confront him about it.

The argument that ended things happened while playing CS2. I left a match because I was frustrated, but told him I'd play the next one and wasn't rage-quitting for the night.

He gave me shit about leaving, so I jokingly said:

"I'm gonna play the next one haha, it's okay, don't be a bitch haha."

He took serious offense and left.

He blocked me first. I managed to reach him through one place he hadn't blocked me and apologized, telling him I wanted to work things out. I genuinely didn't want our friendship to end over this.

He told me he doesn't let his friends call him a bitch, regardless of whether it's meant seriously. I understand that's his boundary, and I don't regret apologizing for crossing it.

However, I was frustrated that what I saw as a stupid gaming jab had become a major conflict. I snapped and ended up telling him everything I'd been holding in about our friendship, then ultimately blocked him everywhere myself.

Looking back, I don't think this was really about the word "bitch." It brought out years of resentment about feeling like I was putting more effort into the friendship, constantly initiating things and trying to find games we could enjoy together.

I've actually walked away from this friendship before. We went about five months without speaking, and during that time I felt lighter. I wasn't waiting for him to message me or wondering if he wanted to play. We eventually reconciled because I didn't want to hold a grudge, and things were good again for a while, but eventually those feelings returned.

I understand I crossed his boundary, and I'm willing to accept criticism for that. But I also don't regret ending the friendship.

AITA for escalating things and ending a 14-year friendship over what started as a stupid gaming argument, or was this just the final straw for a friendship that had already run its course?

I'm genuinely looking for an honest judgment, even if I'm in the wrong.

My best friend is getting married in a few months and I’m supposed to be her MOH. I say “supposed to be” bc she never actually asked me lol, she basically just told me I was. We’re extremely close and I would’ve said yes anyway, so I didn’t make a big deal out of it.
Recently I found out from multiple people that she crossed some pretty serious boundaries with another guy at a concert. She was dancing on him, he kissed her forehead, grabbed her ass, they went on a “walk” together, and then she left the concert with him and went back to his house. I DON’T know what happened at his house and I’m not gonna claim something did when I genuinely don’t know. I’m only going off what I know actually happened.
To make it even messier, her fiancé’s BEST MAN is the one who picked her up from the guy’s house afterward. The best man has also been my best friend’s best friend for years and all 3 of them currently live together. So yeah, messy af.
Multiple people witnessed different parts of this, so it wasn’t just one person coming to me with some random rumor. I confronted her and she was pretty standoffish at first. I didn’t tell her everything I knew immediately, but once I started giving specifics she admitted it happened.
Then she broke down crying and basically told me she was “over” her relationship. She said her fiancé doesn’t give her what she needs, doesn’t put enough effort into their relationship, and continues doing things she’s repeatedly told him she isn’t okay with. I told her I’m obviously not in their relationship and I’m not gonna tell her who she should or shouldn’t marry, but if you’re sitting in my car crying saying you’re OVER your relationship, maybe getting married in a few months isn’t the best idea??? I told her there’s nothing wrong with slowing down and figuring out wtf she actually wants BEFORE getting married. Idk if it matters or not but my family just contributed more than half the cost of her wedding dress.
She agreed, said she wanted to slow down, and told me she was going to tell her fiancé everything. This conversation happened around midnight.
Literally about 12 hours later, she told me she had already told him. According to her, he obviously wasn’t happy but was glad she told him and apparently the conversation went okay. Not long after that, she came over to finish my nails AND BROUGHT HIM WITH HER. He acted completely normal. I wanna be fair bc I don’t know him well enough to say how he “should” act, so I’m not saying that means she lied about telling him. It just felt weird af how quickly everything seemed to go back to normal.
And apparently it IS back to normal bc she immediately went right back into full wedding mode. She’s sending me wedding shit again and apparently just made their wedding page last night. There’s been basically zero indication that anything is actually “slowing down” like she told me it was going to.
She sent the wedding page to another close friend of ours, who happens to be “talking” to the best man rn. That’s how my friend found out she’s apparently a bridesmaid . She was never actually asked either, she just saw herself listed as one on the website lmfao. She hasn’t even sent the page to me yet, so apparently assigning people bridal party positions instead of asking them isn’t exclusive to me 😂. Also completely irrelevant, but I saw the pictures she picked for us and they are absolutely HORRENDOUS. I’m literally holding a fucking turkey leg in mine.
Here’s where I’m struggling. I think during our original conversation I made it sound like my biggest issue with being MOH was that her fiancé didn’t know about the cheating. It’s not.
Obviously he deserved to know, but even if she told him EVERYTHING and he genuinely forgave her, that doesn’t change what SHE told me. Less than a day ago she was crying saying she was over the relationship and wanted to slow down, and now we’re right back in full wedding mode. THAT is what I can’t get past.
There’s also some history here. She’s had issues in the past with lying and putting herself above everyone else. I’m not gonna list every shitty thing she’s ever done bc this post is already long enough lol, but I genuinely thought she grew out of that. We got older, life changed, and I really thought she finally grew up. I wasn’t holding old shit against her either. I truly thought that was the OLD her.
But now this happened, other things are starting to come to light too, and I’m realizing she might still be exactly who she’s always been. And honestly that’s fucking with me almost as much as the cheating itself.
I don’t expect my friends to be perfect. People fuck up. I fuck up. But cheating, lying and loyalty are things I feel VERY strongly about, and at what point does “people make mistakes” become a pattern? My morals don’t suddenly disappear bc the person doing something fucked up happens to be my best friend.
So now I’m questioning the friendship too. I love her and we’re extremely close, but I genuinely don’t know if I want to be friends with her anymore. Maybe I just need space and I’ll feel differently. Maybe I won’t. I honestly don’t know rn.
What I DO know is I don’t feel right being her MOH anymore. To me, being MOH isn’t just wearing a dress and taking pictures. I’m standing beside you while you make those vows and supporting the marriage you’re entering, and rn I can’t honestly say I do.
If her fiancé knows everything and forgives her, that’s his decision. If she still wants to marry him, that’s hers. I’m not giving her an ultimatum, demanding she cancel the wedding, or telling either of them what to do. But whether I participate in it is my decision, and I feel like a hypocrite standing next to her at the altar pretending I 100% support a marriage she was literally just crying to me about wanting to slow down.
And honestly, if I’m questioning whether I even want to continue the friendship, wtf am I doing being her MOH?

I (36M) have been married to my wife "Anna" (34F) for 7 years. We have two kids, ages 5 and 3, and we have a comfortable but busy life. I work full-time and Anna works part-time. We don't have a lot of extra space or time.

Anna's younger sister "Lily" (28F) has been going through a rough patch. She quit her job a few months ago, broke up with her boyfriend, and seems to be spiraling. Anna wants to help her.

Last week, Anna told me she invited Lily to stay with us. For three months. She said Lily needs time to "find herself" and get back on her feet. She said she already offered and Lily is moving in next week.

I was completely shocked. Anna didn't ask me before offering. She just told me it was happening. I told her I'm not okay with this. Three months is a long time. We have two young kids, a house to manage, and not enough room for an extra person long-term. I said a week or two would be fine, but three months is too much.

Anna got defensive and said I was being selfish. She said Lily is her sister and she's struggling. She said she doesn't know what Lily would do if we didn't help. She said I have a big house and we can manage.

I told her the size of the house isn't the issue. The issue is Anna made a major decision that affects our whole family without consulting me. I said three months is more than enough time to find a job and an apartment. I said I don't want to feel like a guest in my own home for a quarter of a year.

Anna started crying and said I was making her choose between me and her sister. She said I don't care about family. She said Lily is depressed and needs us.

I feel like I'm being reasonable. Three months is a long time. And I'm really hurt that Anna didn't talk to me first. But Anna and her parents are making me feel like a monster. AITA?

My sister “Allie” 35F has filed for divorce and so far it’s been ugly as expected. Backstory: Allie and her husband Eddy 36M reconnected as single parents. They previously dated in middle school/high school, broke up and got back together in their early 20s. He had a son (now 13M) and Allie had two kids (now 16M & 13F) and they eventually had a child together 7F who is autistic. Their relationship has been a rollercoaster of WTF. Many relationships with family and friends destroyed. Every time I think it can’t get worse it does. They are both bad parents. Their marriage has had DV, DUIs, 5150 psych holds, CPS, cheating, swinging, open marriage, and so much more. Things really started imploding when Eddy came out as bisexual.

They are now separated. Allie has filed for divorce. Everyday is some new drama. They’ve been posting TikTok’s with their side of the story and seem to have a pissing competition of who can get more dick. I’ve cut off Eddy completely. Don’t hate the guy but don’t want him anywhere near my sister either. Always afraid of what he might do to her next. But my sister is no saint either. She’s not violent like him but they’re both liars, manipulative, and selfish.

I feel like I’m fact checking everything. So I questioned Allie on something, didn’t feel right about her answer, and asked in our “WTF is wrong with Allie” group chat (cousin and other sister Annie) about it. Cousin squealed so fast I had an angry Allie calling me at 8 am sharp. We went off. This had been building. My cousin and sister Annie have been telling me to be more understanding and compassionate since I, myself, am divorced as well. Being divorced, I have given Allie advice which she does not listen to. So every other day, there is another WTF incident. My compassion has been running low. So we argued and are no longer speaking. Cousin was trying to play peace keeper after and ask me to be more understanding. I told her to go F herself. So AITA.

AITAH l: My bf told me he shares an Amazon account with his ex gf (they broke up ten years ago), I told him before we even started dating that I don’t like how close he is with his exes and he reassured me that’s he’s not close with any of them, doesn’t even talk to them or see them.

Flash forward a few months and I caught him texting his most recent ex while I was hanging out with him. 💩hit the fan and I found out that they text each other every week and still hang out. Well, he stopped talking to her for me. Stupidly, I forgave him and we continued to date.

Months later I found out he had yet another ex that he maintained contact with. Same deal, texting every week and invites to hang out (whether he hung out with her or not, idk). He told me he still shares an Amazon account with this ex and I shouldn’t worry because they broke up six years ago. I asked him if he could split from the account and he said he would ask her to get off the account. She did not like that idea and told him to leave me. She was texting and calling him more after this.

(Also found out he lied to the ex and told her I was looking over his shoulder and saw his name on the account which started the argument and that he just wants to look at his phone in peace…when he flat out told me they had the account! So many lies and I feel like my head is spinning).

Eventually I had enough of this and broke up with him last week.

AITAH?

Friend side: flaked 1 hour prior --> Personally insulted me because of it. My side: Flaked on a plan --> Apologized completely, taking full responsibility with an added part where I don't accept personal insults (apology below at the bottom)

• Friend's response
  • Friend does not believe I fully realized responsibility, and I am hurting them by pointing out the personal insult, and my apology is not proper because I am accusing them, which invalidates the apology.
  • My friend believes that I am overreacting to the insults, as they are sent in an insider friend group chat and the insult is just friend talk.
  • My friend believes I should take the insult, as I am in the wrong.
  • My friend has pent up anger about my tendency to be late.
• My response
  • I believe that I am fully responsible for the problem and accept the blame.
  • I believe my friend's anger is justifiable, but personal insults are not.
  • I acknowledge my friend's anger about my tendency to be late and agree to work on it
  • I never personally insulted them previously, no matter what.
  • I believe that personal insults do nothing to solve the problem.

Friend's Insults

(Emojis are a part of their text.)

Part 1

"Does the whole world revolve around you? : D"

"What, are you a caveman who doesn't know how to use a clock? : D"

"Someone who doesn't know how to speak or act like a decent human being is truly beyond saving."

"Just reroll [your life], kid."

My apology

I want to formally apologize again. It was inappropriate of me to cancel my appointment on Thursday. I promised to help you move things but then canceled, leaving you to carry heavy items alone and disrupting your plans. I sincerely apologize again.

However, I also want to be honest and say that I completely understand your feelings, but saying things like "get lost" or "let's start over" in the group chat and making personal attacks is not the way to maintain a healthy friendship or mutual respect.

In the future, if we have any conflicts, I hope we can focus on the issue, not the person. Next time I promise to help, I will make sure I understand it completely, and I will do my best to prevent similar situations from happening again. Have a nice day :D

I (18F) dated a guy (23M) long-distance for 3 months. I ended it, and now he's in my city, but I won't see him. My mum thinks I'm heartless.

Here's why I broke up:

1. Kids. I told him early on that my grandma nearly died giving birth, so my family strongly discourages pregnancy, and I personally don't want kids. He brought it up almost every call, saying "maybe I can change your mind.", “I don’t want to have kids only when I am old and grey” .When I finally snapped, he said "I was just messing with you" – but he'd said it repeatedly.
2. My career. I am currently studying at

an uni

1. as another language major. He casually told me to "study English" and "get a job at a university near me" – i.e., near him in the UK. I found it offensive – it dismissed everything I've worked for. He apologised, said he was just “planning the future”but it stuck with me.
2. He constantly said "you can find better," "you don't love me," "I'm scared you'll leave."
3. The trip. He booked a flight to my city for my birthday and asked me to stay at his hotel for 7 days and pick him up at the airport. I refused with reasons like parents, classes – and he said he understood, and said it’s fine later send me a text “i am sad though”

Three days before his arrival, we had a fight after I distanced myself from him because I started to rethink the things that he said.I sent a breakup message. I clearly stated I didn't accept his apologies, found his comments disrespectful, and we were done. I offered to pay half his flight so he wouldn't feel I owed him. He refused. He later texted "it would have been 3 months now" and "I'm sad how this ended," but I didn't reply.

Now he's here. He hasn't contacted me (I think he respects my no-contact), but my mother knows about the situation. She's been telling me:

· "He's just a bit clumsy, he didn't mean it."
· "He just thinks too fast about the future."
· "He's alone in a foreign city now, it's so sad. You should at least have a meal with him."

I said no. But here I am overthinking if I am truly an asshole.

So, AITA for doing all these?

My (16F) brother (9M) has always been the favourite child in my family. He's a decent kid, a little brain-rotted, and I'm probably biased in thinking he's spoiled (he gets 2 hours of screentime a day whereas I only get 1, he'll ask my parents if we can go to restaurants, he gets upset if we don't keep him occupied, he complains on hikes, etc.) but that was always kind of my opinion just in the difference in how we got treated.

Long story short, I tried to run away a little while ago, cops dragged me home (I later found out my dad had changed the locks in the time I was gone (they're electronic PIN locks) and my mom forced him to let me come home), and now couple months later I'm living with my grandma. Things are going pretty well, I'm still getting used to the unlimited-screentime and no-set-bedtime (it used to be 9) but I'm adapting and excited for school. I still talk to my mom occasionally like texting or on the phone and we were talking and she's telling me about my brother.

This is really selfish but I always felt like when I left my parents would no longer have anyone to blame and would realize that my brother is, in fact, not perfect and that I was actually not a bad kid. Except she tells me that my brother has apparently gotten even better with me gone. His 10th birthday is coming up and he said he just wants something chill so my parents don't have to work hard, he doesn't want a back-to-school outfit (it was kind of a tradition that we would both get one), he bought his shoes with his own money, etc..

I know that it's unreasonable to be upset with him and I do still love him but I also resent how he's still the perfect kid. AITAH?

TL;DR My brother was always the favourite and I thought that when I ran away my parents would realize he wasn't an angel and that I was a decent kid, but he's gotten even more perfect and selfless since

​

Okay so I've been considering sharing this for a while. I started writing up the whole story in a lot of detail but that was draining so I'm starting by saying the basics and I'll expand if anyone has any questions.

I met my friend at the start of uni, we became friends cause we lived close and were in the same society, after a few months he confessed his feelings I made it clear that I didn't like him and that I was a lesbian. A few months later on a night out with my flatmates after they all go to bed he kisses me in my kitchen whilst I'm trying to cheer him up. I shove him off and tell him to leave. We talk a bit more, he tells me he was drunk and he's sorry. I forgive him, we get close and closer. To the point that for a week we ended up sleeping in the same single bed (cause it helped him sleep). Then a few months later he invites me to visit his family in a town about an hour away from uni. I go and meet his family and go to this event thing. Afterwards go back to his house and we lay down in his bed and are chatting. Then he starts kissing me and I freeze. (I can't go home there are no trains home this late) I get up and throw up in his toilet. Climb back in bed and putting as much space between us fall asleep. I try to forgive him again, but it's really difficult and we rarely talk. I feel sick every time I see him and I see him a lot. Eventually the summer holiday comes and I go chat with my bestie from back home who convinces me to cut him out of my life as much as possible. So I end up telling all my flatmates and our shared friends (me and the guy) that I don't want him in our house for next year and I basically don't want to hang out with him. They argee though some of them are really surprised about it. But sometimes I feel like I overreacted by telling everyone and maybe I didn't need to ban him from my house. So am I the asshole? Maybe not for banning him from my house but I also feel like I turned all our friends against him.

My partner's younger brother has been having money problems for a while and recently asked us for $8,000. He says it's mostly to catch up on rent and some credit card debt, and that he'd pay us back over the next year

My partner immediately wanted to help. We have some money saved up, so technically we could give him the $8k without putting ourselves in a terrible position. The problem is that most of that money is savings we've built together for emergencies and eventually buying a house. I also know his brother has borrowed smaller amounts from family before and hasn't always paid them back when he said he would.

I told my partner I'd be fine with us giving him a smaller amount that we could afford to never see again, but I'm not comfortable taking $8k out of our joint savings and treating it like a loan. My partner got upset and said I'm basically asking them to choose money over family. That's not how I see it. If it were only my partner's money, I wouldn't tell them what to do with it. But this is money we've both been putting aside for our future, so I feel like either of us should be able to say no when it comes to a large withdrawal.

Now things are tense because my partner thinks I'm being selfish when we clearly have enough to help. AITA for refusing to lend the full amount?

I’m 31F, my fiancé is 34M, and we live in Brooklyn. He left his job last year to build a startup with a friend and recently asked if I’d invest $75k. I have the money but it’s a big chunk of savings I built up before we got engaged. I’ve always considered it my future house/safety net money so I told him I wasn’t comfortable putting it into his business. He says he understands but was clearly hurt. His view is that we’re getting married next year anyway and if I believe in him, investing shouldn’t feel that different from putting money toward our future together.

I do believe in him. I just don’t love mixing my savings, his company and our relationship before we’ve even figured out how we’re handling money as a married couple.

Now I’m wondering if I’m being overly cautious. AITA?