Well, 6 months is hardly the time to celebrate the success of a relationship but because it is nonetheless a milestone what better than reminiscing I thought. So as I was on my way home from work, I wrote a long text to my boyfriend. It detailed a lot of my rocky emotions and whole lot of remembering the nuances of our dynamic.

He said that he was reading it,he was touched, felt warm reading it ​and had a lot to say. Which I quote made me giddy.

Night fell and he called, he called and he talked. He talked about many things but barely about what was written on the note. The note was a passing mention. Not that writing a note is a big fat gesture of love. But to be given no recognition? Where do I take that? I told him later as coyly as I could. That i​ would be waiting for him to reply on my note next morning. We giggled and we slept.

Next morning, I still don't see a reply to the text. He calls, I answer. We talk, he makes me laugh and I say as a joke. "Now send me a reply to the note I sent yesterday."

And he shares me a whole ai generated paragraph. It is easy to ​​​​understand, you've known this person speak to you in a certain way. I asked him about it and he said I wanted it to perfect my words. Later I called him out again but it just doesn't affect​ him. He said that why don't I recognize the effort behind it. Not sure if he was right. Not sure if I'm supposed to be feel okay. Am I the asshole? W

I male (29) and my girlfriend (28) have been together for two and a half years. During that time together I noticed the she gaslights me about things that never occurred. I called her about this to her awhile back. She’ll say that I am being ridiculous.

My wife and I are 29 M/F. Anytime I’m in the mood she completely disregards me and when she’s in the mood I’m expected to be ready quickly . I love my wife she’s the best thing to happen to me and we bring out the best in each other, but our sexual chemistry has been out of tune since we have been married. What do I do ?

I(29f) had surgery last week and I’m not able to drive for a couple of weeks. My boyfriend (32m) and I don’t live together. He took me to two days of surgery and had been super awesome taking care of me those nights and bringing me to and from surgery, so I do want to acknowledge that and I’m grateful for it. I also understand that he’s been stressed, busy, and working a lot, and I don’t expect him to spend every waking moment with me just because I’m recovering. However, he went out with his friends Sunday all and again last night, and tonight when I called him to see what he was doing, he was at the bar with his friends for the third night in a row. I had expressed to him earlier in the day that I’d really love to just cuddle up with him for a while. He had told me he was going to be really busy all day, but he had stopped by earlier for about 45 minutes. I told him that what I really wanted was just to cuddle with him and watch a movie because I’m stuck at home and would really like some quality time with him while I’m recovering. When I found out he was out again tonight, I told him that it hurt my feelings that he seemed to have time to go out with his friends three nights in a row but wasn’t making more time to spend with me. I specifically told him that I was feeling sad and lonely and that I really needed some time with him. He said, “Yeah, I can see where that would be shitty. I’m sorry.” I asked if he could maybe have one drink and then come over, and he said, “I’m not changing all my plans for you.” What hurt me the most is that I wasn’t just upset about him being at the bar—I expressed to him that I was sad, lonely, and hurt, and he knew I was sitting at home recovering from surgery and unable to drive, yet he still chose to stay at the bar. I wasn’t asking him to never see his friends or completely change his life for me. I was hoping that once he knew how I was feeling, he would want to make some effort to change his plans or prioritize spending some time with me. I thought that was especially reasonable because I was under the impression they had just ended up at the bar and it wasn’t some big planned event. It turned into a back-and-forth where he didn’t really seem to understand why I was hurt or why I felt like I should be more of a priority right now. I completely understand that he needs time with his friends and to decompress, and I don’t think he’s wrong for wanting to go out. But am I wrong for feeling hurt that he’s gone out three nights in a row while I’m recovering from surgery, especially after I directly told him that I was sad and lonely and wanted him with me, and he still chose to stay out?

I’m 21 nonbinary, my boyfriend 21M , my Girl bsf 21F, my Guy bsf 21M, all of us have been friends for at least Two years.

My guy and girl bsfs (I will call them Red and Willow) have been dating for 3 months now. Recently they broke up and my boyfriend (will be called River) is on willows side while I’m on Reds side. This is the situation, over the past week Red has been close to this girl named Amber. Amber and Red have been friends for 2-3 years and she has never liked Red to my knowledge and Red has never liked her. Since they hang out so much, 3 people have come up to Willow asking if they have broken up yet, she said no. Willow also told me that red and amber would touch each other on the arm (idk if this is important)
Over the next week it got into her head and started thinking Red didn’t like her anymore. (I’ve known Red since the 4th grade and we are very close and he’s a brother to me) So when I heard I talked to red, he told me he didn’t like Amber and that be would try to fix whatever was wrong but he was going through a difficult mental situation. The next few days Red was out on a family trip so Willow, River, and I had a group hang out. We talked about the situation and River was saying how he never liked Red and all of this is his fault if Willow broke up with him. I said that they should confront Amber if they feel like red and her are too close. Willow should ask her if she can back off a little, after all it is her boyfriend. Willow told me she’ll just go to red instead and ask if he likes amber. later I text Red and he confirmed again that he never liked Amber , and he thought it was stupid that Willow trusted what her friends were saying over him.
Yesterday they broke up. Red told Willow if she can’t trust him over her friends then they should break up so they did. I told River I felt sorry for Red because I didn’t think he was in the wrong but he could have handled the situation better. At the same time him and Amber have always been close. River told me everything that has happened is Reds fault and if we hang out and reds there he’s going to leave. I can’t just stop being friends with Red our families have known each other for years; we have always been there for each other. River and I got into a small fight over this and I felt really bad. Should I be on Willows side and am I wrong for supporting Red?

I'm going to be somewhat vague in case they see this, but hopefully not.

I was friends with a group of people for a few years, mostly from work. One in particular I felt close to because she and I had very similar childhoods. The last time we hung out, she got very angry about something that had happened to her, began yelling while explaining it to me, and drove erratically for a few moments. This scared me so badly that I just shut down emotionally and she had to take me home.

We didn't speak for nearly a month, and the other day she messaged me asking to hang out. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that she's always been like this. She's gotten very loud in public before and scared me in the process with just how violent she gets in what she says about other people/things. It turns into me agreeing/comforting her even though I'm horribly anxious. I never know if we're going to have a chill hang out or if it'll turn into that.

A few other friends and my mom suggested that hanging out with her isn't good for my mental health, so I blocked her. I also realized that the group in general almost never talks to me and I initiate most contact, so I blocked them too.

But now I'm feeling super guilty because I did it without explaining anything. Part of me feels like a coward, and a tiny part of me is worried she may be upset enough to find me (I no longer work with any of them but I'm in the same place). I wonder if I should have said something before doing it. And part of me misses her even though I know this was overall the right decision. I've been feeling absolutely awful over this and honestly a smidge paranoid, like I'm an evil person because ghosting is probably painful to go through and I did that to a few people.

AITA?

I 28F was with my ex 31M for over a year. It was a weird dynamic, though. He has two kids and throughout our whole ordeal, he’s been fighting for custody of his kids.

We’ve pretty much always had issues with both of us shutting each other out when we’re going through things but we always ended up working through it and talking it out. After dating for 5 months, we took a break for a couple of months because I felt we were stuck in the same place and not progressing at all. Then we got back together in January.

Things were good for another few months, still felt like there was no progress in our relationship though. Then he got emergency full custody of his kids a couple of months ago, and I am so incredibly happy for him.
I knew deep down that it meant we were never really going to see other much at all though. And sure enough, I’m right.

We were being grumpy towards each other bc all we were doing was texting and the occasional phone call. I was slowly detaching emotionally and he knew it. We would have “arguments” when really we were both just frustrated and missed each other. I am a very physical touch and quality time type of person so if I don’t have those things with my partner, it makes me detach.

And so… I started detaching. The last straw for me was him telling me he was going to be even more busy for the next few months. I already hadn’t seen him for over a month because he was so busy with his kids and now he’s saying he’s going to be even busier?! I can’t handle that.
So I tried to meet up with him in person, he had his kids for the next week straight and wont have time. I asked if we could talk on the phone, he said he doesn’t want his kids asking questions about me because I was still a secret to his kids.

So I ended it via text. He read it, and never responded. We haven’t spoken since. Do I know it was wrong to end things over text? Hell yes. Do I feel I had no option but to do it that way? Yes. I couldn’t wait any longer, I couldn’t pretend things were ok over text until we saw each other in person, and I knew I just needed to move on asap.

AITA for ending it over text message? Do you think I had valid reasons to do it that way?

I love going out with my friends. My bf is more of a homebody and doesn’t go out despite his friends always inviting him.

I love concerts and always try to inv my bf to go with me but he refuses. He even got mad at me once for expressing interest in going to a music venue with a dj.

There’s this new band playing later this month and my best friend is going with her younger sibling. This is a girl he’s met and gotten along with. Shes not a bad person. There’s not even an age limit and as safe as can be. I’ve already been to concerts and places before that he told me not to go to. I only went because I knew I’d regret missing it. I’ve never cheated on him and I don’t even do drugs. I try to take him with me and he refuses and doesn’t want me to go.

I know if I go to this new concert later this month that he will be very angry with me and argue and bring up past arguments we’ve had in the past. Maybe he will break up with me. Should I just listen to him and his only request to stay away from that scene despite it making me happy? Do I go and risk our relationship or do I stay and regret it in the future? Part of me thinks that I should not let his words control me but my other side thinks why should I backstab him like that and go. I’m not sure if I’m the one in the wrong. What do you guys think?

I (29F) am 8 months pregnant with our first child. My husband "David" (31M) and I have been preparing for this together. I've been very clear from the beginning that I want the delivery room to be just the two of us. I want David with me and no one else.

My mother-in-law "Susan" (60F) is very excited about her first grandchild. She's been buying baby clothes, planning nursery decorations, and talking about how she can't wait to be there when the baby is born.

Last week, David told me he wants his mom in the delivery room. He said she helped him through a difficult time when he was younger and he wants her there for support. He said it's important to him and I should be willing to compromise.

I told him I'm not comfortable with that. I said I'm the one giving birth. I'll be in pain, exposed, and vulnerable. I don't want an audience. I said this is about my medical experience, not about her feelings.

David got upset and said I was being selfish. He said it's his baby too and he should have a say. He said his mom would be helpful and would stay by my side. I told him I don't want her by my side. I want him.

Now Susan is crying to the whole family that I'm keeping her out of her grandchild's birth. David is telling me I should "compromise" and let her come for part of it. I told him there's no compromise. I want her in the waiting room, not the delivery room.

He's been cold and distant since our conversation. I feel like I'm being reasonable. It's my body and my medical event. But everyone is making me feel like I'm the one causing problems. AITA?

I (23F) broke up with my (22F) girlfriend of 4 years. I wrote out a letter that I thought explained it as much as possible. We agreed to start conversations about serious things this way to give a chance to look over it and think before talking face to face.

22F has had severe addiction to illicit substances for a while now, which I did know of.

I found out that 22F has been lying to me about her substance use and intentionally hiding it from me. We have a support plan in place between us and professionals to try and work towards her recovery.

The very recent death of my father hit me hard, and when it happened, we discussed how I felt about that related to her addiction. I told her she had to be serious about her recovery because she was going to die, and I don't know if I could lose her like that.

Then, finding out that she continued to lie to me about her addiction, I started to reconsider heavily. I decided that this is now what I wanted for my future or for myself and decided to end things. I was honest and told her that I still support her and Im proud of the strides that she had made so far, but I can not allow drugs to continue to be a part of my life (I have had several other family members with substance addictions.) I understand that addiction is an illness, but (and even if this sounds selfish to say) I have decided that my boundry is that I can not build a life, have a home and children with someone who is an addict. F22 has overdosed a handful of times before, some accidental and some on purpose. F22 frequently hurts herself if she feels that I am not paying attention to her.

I said that I would still like to be friends. She first blocked me, and then started lashing out at me publicly on social media in front of people we know who then blocked me. Then she came and told me that she does not want to be friends. I said okay and blocked her. Though I would have liked to be friends, I understood why that might be difficult and it was the choice she made.

She continued to post about me and say all sorts of things, such as that I gave up on her after so long and that she's going to harm herself because of me, etcetera.

She contacted me again, and it got a little more heated than I wish it had but it was not extreme arguing. The gist was me saying I don't appreciate her posting all those things and how I don't believe it's fair of her to treat me that way despite her being upset and told her she needed to stop.

She told me that it's not fair that I did this "out of nowhere" and "didn't put in any effort to work things out" before blocking her. I blocked her because from my end, she doesn't want to be friends, and I don't want to date her, then it's best for me to cut contact so we can both move forward.

According to her I am an avoidant and didn't really love her because when we would discuss in depth about her issues and triggers etcetera, I would add on that I think she should also bring what we spoke about up to her therapist so they can come up with alternative coping strategies (exact quote of how I would say it to her). Though to be clear, we did talk, and I never immediately went to just saying to talk to her therapist. If I didn't know how to help her I would be honest and say that I understood what she was saying, but I didn't know how to help her in that moment and she needs to be honest with me about what she needs me to do for her. If I took even a full minute to comprehend what she was saying while nodding to make sure I acknowledged her, she would say I was triggering her and making her beg for attention.

Apparently, this was me brushing her off, not listening, and giving her the silent treatment. I was under the impression that encouraging her to additionally speak to her therapist to get more support that I can't give her (I can't fix the issue or help her learn how to cope) was being supportive.

I wasn't aware that I should have given her a heads up when I was thinking of breaking up with her (which is what she meant by doing this out of nowhere. She thinks we should have discussed it before I made a decision). I'm not sure what it means to put effort into "working out" things that broke my boundaries. My boundaries were broken, and so I respectfully removed myself from the situation.

Is it normal to try and work those types of things out? I'm asking genuinely if im TAH because I want to do better in the future. If I'm avoidant, I want to confront that honestly and work towards not being. I can see why she would be upset I broke up with her, and I've tried to tell the story as neutrally as possible, but I don't think I'm necessarily being an asshole.

I (34F) have been married to my 35(M) for 13 years and together 17. I’ve posted here before. He has a history of being verbally and mentally and even emotionally abusive (you can read back on posts). I was going to leave. Had a house and everything. Then it changed. He’s been doing great. He has been a little needy and I’m trying not to be mean from resentment. I said we can try to give it our all. It’s been a few months. He’s been out of town for work for a few weeks. We had this text exchange tonight and idk how I feel about it. I always question my behavior. What do you think?

I want to preface this by saying I don’t talk with food all over my mouth like a slob…

Me: It’s been bothering me how on FaceTime last night you asked me why I was talking with my mouth full in front of your coworkers. That’s embarrassing to me.
Then you “joked” about something and I asked why you would say that and you said cause it’s a fucking joke

Him: Okay well they weren’t paying any attention to me and I’m constantly asking you not to talk with your mouth full of food. It bothers me and it’s disrespectful. And I’m not sure what you’re referring to that I was joking about.

Me: It’s not even that bad. It doesn’t matter if they were paying attention or not. It was embarrassing for me.

It was something about being a better role model to one of the girls

Him: O child shacking her but it was funny and silly I wasn’t trying to be rude at all. And as far as the talking with food in your mouth you need to address that. I’m sorry if me saying something out loud upset you it’s disgusting. If it embarrasses you to be called out on it in front of people that just means you know you shouldn’t be doing it. I also recognize the fact you were addressing something one of the girls was doing that they shouldn’t have been doing. And I shouldn’t have just jumped you shit for talking with food in you mouth.so I am sorry I could have approached it better. It’s a nasty habit and I’ll continue to try to get you to stop. We should be setting the example for the girls. They will learn the most about life by watching use!!!!

Me: K

Him: You disagree obviously

Him: **replied to my K** This is the complete opposite of communication. And trying not to continue the cycle

Me: Well I don’t have a response right now. I appreciate you acknowledging but telling me if it’s embarrassing then you know you shouldn’t be doing it. That’s not okay to say. You could have said it another time. It’s embarrassing being corrected like a child is that it was. Then saying you’re sorry it upset me but it’s disgusting is you justifying why you did it.
I’m off lunch now.

Me: And there’s a difference between talking with food everywhere in your mouth than pushing it to the side and covering your mouth

Him: It’s disgusting I don’t support it and I won’t!

Him: It takes just seconds to finish your food.

Him: It’s repulsive and it bothers me and you could give two fucks about it bothering me and that’s pretty disrespectful.

Him: I’ve changed many simple things that I do that have bothered you. I do just because I respect you asking me not to do it.

Him: Now I’m pissed off because this is wild as fuck that your mad at me cause you where talking with mouth full of food like wtf!!!

Me: You told me I could talk to you instead of holding it in then blowing up. And I’m doing that and now you’re berating me. How you’re talking to me is not okay. If I heard one of our daughters boyfriends talking to her like this, that would make me so upset.

Him: And I told you could I admitted the way I said was wrong. You’ve made no efforts to correct it. Instead you have told me you don’t give a fuck or you don’t care multiple time or I’ve been told to get over it. And I’m not gonna get over it. It’s gross.

Him: Have a wonderful day I’m not gonna continue to argue about simple table manners.

Me: Again. No accountability. Or a genuine apology. Talking to someone like that is not justified at all. We can take in a few hours to give us space. But if there’s mean talk like previous, the conversation will not continue.

Him: If you’re not gonna take accountability for what you did then don’t bother. I’ll see you when I see you. I definitely took accountability for what I did and apologized. Maybes read it again cause I never ones said I’m sorry but it’s disgusting. Like your saying!!!

Me: Ok.

I (f 36)have found my Mom (f 59) and my ex (m38) from decades ago are still in touch. My ex left me for another woman while I was working a 2 month job, and not soon after I found my family invited him over for dinner. They didn't care about my feelings then. I was fine with my mom still being friends with his Mom, but today I found out they (my ex and Mom) have been secretly keeping in touch all these years. Even after I took care of my mom in the hospital after Covid and a heart attack and subsequent kidney failure. She had memory loss, but apparently not enough to not talk to him again. I came down for a short term job to stay with them for a little bit and she gave me her phone to look up a hair color for her. When I sent it to messenger, there it was... He was first on her chat list. A long time conversation going.

Preface he is married. I wanted nothing to do with him after the breakup. While I don't think that I have a say between her and his parents, I still believe that good ex's are like ghosts. I'm now paranoid as to what exactly their relationship is. My mom has exciting tastes to say the least, so it would not surprise me if something has happened to cross proper boundaries.

If this feels like a betrayal, how should I move forward? I know if I ask questions nothing but lies will come out. My mother is a gifted tale spinner with lots of unapologetic practice. She does not feel guilt for anything ever. This feels like harm to me. AITA?

Am I the asshole

Hello! Im writing this cuz I need some outside perspective and help determining if im the asshole.
I, 21m, recently made a friend, Terry, 24 non binary. This is a big deal for me cuz I have trouble making friends due to social anxiety. We have a lot of the same interests and they even work professionally in the stuff I’m interested in.

I will admit I was super impressed with them and excited to show them off to my other friends. I can see me being the ass there cuz they probably didn’t like being showed off like a show pony. But theres been some interactions with them that make me off put and I don’t know if im alright feeling that way.

For example, I’d message them about stuff im interested in or excited about that I thought they might like, but they would completely ignore them and talk about themselves instead. They also really don’t like men, which I do understand. For context, im a trans man so I get the not liking men. I know what it’s like being objectified and treated badly cuz people think im a woman. But they lump me in with the “all men are awful” and that im gross for being a man. They even called me a manish creature once which I did not appreciate. They think im weird for even being attracted to men. Just because I’m a man doesn’t mean I suck for being a man. Manhood isnt automatically a bad thing.

They also criticize me for things I didn’t ask for criticism on. They insulted my hair when I showed them my new haircut. Granted I did cut it too short so it looks a tad weird, but all my other friends said it looked fine. I think it looks fine too. I have a cat, whos pretty cute, not to brag, and terry said they’d like to meet my cat someday, their cat allergy be damned. But when I invited all my friends to my house for a movie, they said they don’t wanna go to my house cuz of my cat. Theres probably other stuff im forgetting but oh well.

Which brings me to the reason im writing this. We were talking for a bit, and they brought up how men only became friends with them because they wanted a relationship. And yeah, that sucks. I felt I had to defend myself because of how they see men, and I reassured them thats not why im friends with them. They blew up at me and said they aren’t some delicate flower that needs help, that they’re much stronger and smarter than I think they are, and that they wouldn’t date me anyway so just drop it. I was kinda confused by this since I never insinuated that but could maybe understand where they were coming from. I just said ok and haven’t talked to them since.

So that leads me to writing this now. If only a few of these instances happened, I’d be able to brush it off and move on. But for some reason I just can’t. They agitate me and I can’t seem to put my finger on why. I am sensitive so maybe thats it, but I’m also bad at reading social cues. I want to talk to them about this to maybe resolve these issues but I don’t know where to start, or even if im right to do so. So am I the asshole? Some advice would be appreciated.

Earlier this year, I (30M) matched with a woman (28) on a dating app. She was lovely, easy to talk to and funny. I appreciated having someone more consistent since my friends rarely text me. She sent some intense messages like discussing more dates nights in together, holidays together and even moving in together. This freaked me out a bit as we hadn’t been talking long and hadn’t even met in person yet. However, she’d often message shortly after apologising or making sure she hadn’t gone too far. I mostly said it was fine or ignored it. Being 12 years single and no sex for 8 years might have influenced my thinking!

After a few weeks, we arranged to meet but we had to wait due to work schedules and I had a holiday planned.

Date night went well. We had drinks and played games, and I gave her a kiss on the cheek as we parted. When I got home, I had a debrief with myself and realised I didn’t feel a romantic or sexual connection with her. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy the date; I did but as if we were friends. I’m not necessarily a believer in love at first sight or that instant connection with your soulmate, there was nothing like that there.

We kept talking, and she mentioned how much she enjoyed the date. She wished I’d kissed her on the lips, which is what she wanted. I, again, ignored the kiss message. We decided to go on a second date, my thinking was that the nerves might have caused my initial reactions and that now we’ve met a more relaxed setting might change how I feel. We met again in my town, walked down the canal to a pottery painting place which, again, was good fun. But I still didn’t feel any attraction. So, I decided to give it a day before calling it off.

I messaged her, saying I enjoyed meeting her but didn’t feel any attraction. I wanted to stay friends, though, because I had a good time with her. She responded, saying she was disappointed and sad because she thought we had something great but she was happy we could be friends, though.
The daily messages stopped and became every few days, which I was fine with. About two weeks after date 2, she got pretty drunk and started messaging me, asking why I didn’t want to date her anymore. She asked “is it because I’m … “ questions and accused me of body shaming her, stringing her along, she even dropped the “L” bomb in a few messages. I put my phone on do not disturb and went to bed.

I woke up to around 50 messages (including voice notes) from her. The voice notes were interesting to say the least. She was saying how much she loved me and how unfair it was and asking why couldn’t I just love her. I blocked her on everything. Soon, I got messages from her friends who were abusing me through her. I didn’t respond and rejected their message requests.

I think I’m a bit of an asshole here and she does have valid feelings. However, I’ll await the brutal honesty of this subreddit and their judgement.

I (25F) had two classes back to back in two separate buildings. At the end of the first class, one of my male classmates sparked a conversation about internships he was considering (I was helping him weigh out some options). This conversation carried on as we walked outside, where another male classmate joined and said to the other guy “I’ll walk with you to class.”

I was planning on walking to my car and driving to the next class, however, we kept talking about the internship fiasco and ended up just all walking to class together (we were all in the same class…twice).

I casually told my boyfriend (35M) about me walking, he asked who I was walking with and I told him the truth. He had a whole tantrum because I was “walking with random dudes”… I don’t believe I did anything wrong, he thinks I’m being disrespectful. Reddit, pls let me know who is the crazy one here. I need back up.

Ok so for context I am a petroleum chemist full time working mom. We have a total of 4 kids under our roof. 2 older step kids of my husband's from previous and we have 2 young boys of our own. For the past 4 years, I have worked 2 jobs. I worked 40 hours at my regular job and then 10 hours at their daycare to get reduced tuition. It was horrible. Now I am free of that yay! But I just still feel like the load is unfair sometimes. I pack the lunches, do the laundry, do 90% of the cleaning, potty training, homework, flashcards, dishes... I do not get a break. Occasionally my husband will just pass out after dinner and leave me to do the boys bedtime routine by myself. They share a room and they are both VERY active. I have to shower and bath them and brush the teeth and do the story while he sleeps. And if I bring it up the next day, he flips out and says I dont consider that he is tired. I feel like if I was a stay at home mom or if we genuinely split the housework 50/50 it would not be that big of a deal. Or if he just apologized, but he flipped out on me today for basically saying he left me high and dry. Oh and he has never done the bed time routine a single time by himself when I am home.

Hi, everyone, I similarly asked about this before but my wording may have been biased a bit which could have been interpreted by you guys differently and as i genuinely want to learn if its my mistake and still hasn’t stopped thinking so I’ll need you guys to help me with this

I 24(m) were m on good terms with my 22(f) girlfriend. One day she texted me out of no where and said that “lets take some distance for a while” I asked her what went wrong, what did i do because a day before we both were doing great, she flipped out of nowhere and when i asked is it the end of everything even friendship? she said “I guess so, i just dont have the emotional capacity atp. I have things to deal with and i just dont have it in me to push for this anymore”

Those were her exact words which i Interpreted as:

1, I am too much of a emotional burden on her thats why she said that she dont have emotionally capacity which implies being with me was emotionally exhausting and i was making her life worse

2, her saying “she dont have it in me to push for this anymore” also connected with my interpretation that i was leeching on to her and i am making her emotionally exhaustive and basically being a emotional burden and bothering her.

The above two points and her exact saying is very necessary for me as that is what broke my reality and I want to know if i interpreted it correctly as i believe so please read it guys

I asked her to meet me to talk it out, I was going on a trip with my friends but she didnt even met me.

So I gave her the distance she asked for and I told myself if i am such a emotional burden to her and she do not want to continue this then maybe I should have some self respect and let her leave me without a fight and suck it up.

Fast forward after 3 weeks she texted me a long paragraph on how I should have cared for her and How i should have asked her how she is doing, and in my mind I was thinking that she faked being happy with me all 7 months of relationship and all those moments were not genuine that is why she was able to leave me so easily even when we were on good terms.

Her whole point was how I should have looked past the words she spewed and cared for her, she said its not about what I did its about what I did not do.

I gave her the space she asked for, I was patient, I was calm and polite and I sucked it up after she told me that I have been an emotional burden so I didn’t fought for her because I did not want to leech on to her when she clearly did not want me in her life.

I like her alot so when she texted me and basically said If i had showed care she would have still be with me but in my brain I did not text her anything because she easily disposed me on a random day and I never knew I was an emotional burden to her.

She sounded pretty confident in implying the fact that I ruined the relationship however I genuinely believe that she wanted me out of her life and i should not burden her emotionally or in any way or form.

I would like some strangers opinions on this because its keeping me up everynight

My girlfriend and I have been living together. Recently, I lost my job. I struggled to find work immediately, and during this time, she clearly set a boundary.

If I couldn't make my half of the rent, the relationship would be over. She stated she has a strict standard against supporting a man financially.I fought hard to get the money together. I sold some of my belongings and managed to land a new job relatively quickly, but the timing didn't pan out perfectly.

I wasn't able to get the full rent money together in time for the deadline.Because I missed the deadline and wanted to respect her explicit boundary, I explained the situation and told her I would move out as she had mandated.

Now, she is furious with me. She claims I "didn't fight for us" and that I just gave up on the relationship without fighting because she "isn't worth the effort." From my perspective, I did everything I could to get the money, but once I failed, I was just following the terms she clearly laid out.

AITA for leaving without a fight?

I know the title sounds ridiculous, but I need some perspective because I feel like I finally snapped.

I’m a stay-at-home mom with a 10-month-old daughter. I take care of her most of the day and handle most of the evenings and nights. She is a difficult sleeper and wakes up several times, so her bedtime routine is very important to me.

Our usual routine is: dinner → bath → pajamas → breastfeeding → cuddling until she falls asleep.

Tonight I was running a little late making dinner. My husband decided to bathe her while I was cooking. He didn't ask or tell me; he just did it because he thought he was helping.

The problem is that she was now already in pajamas but hadn't eaten dinner. Her whole routine was out of order, and I knew I would have to deal with feeding her, breastfeeding and getting her to sleep while he would eventually go to bed. I also wasn't going to be able to eat dinner myself.

I got extremely angry and sent him to sleep in another room.

But I know this isn't really about the bath.

For years I have felt increasingly trapped and invisible in this marriage. My husband is not a bad person. He is calm, kind and generally a good person. He almost never gets angry or yells. The problem is that I don't feel emotionally connected to him.

When I get upset, he mostly wants everything to be okay again rather than understanding why I'm upset. He gets sad, gives me puppy-dog eyes, says something sweet, and wants us to move on. I feel like we restore peace without ever fixing what caused the problem.

There are also ongoing issues with money and control. He is extremely frugal and I have to justify small purchases. He has questioned the cost of gifts I bought him and even made me return things because he thought they were too expensive. He has checked the rubbish to see what I ate. I don't really know our complete financial situation or how much money we have.

Even when I was financially independent and paying for things myself, this was an issue. When we were dating, I once wanted a second piña colada while I was paying, and he stopped me because he thought it was too expensive. At the time I ignored how strange that felt.

Our sex life is almost nonexistent, and I don't feel understood or emotionally connected to him. I have asked him to go to couples therapy before, but when we went he mostly joked around and tried to make everything seem fine.

Tonight I finally told him that if we don't seriously go to therapy, I don't think I can stay in this relationship.

He said yes.

I believe he loves me. I believe he is a good person. But I don't think we are happy together anymore, and I feel completely trapped and suffocated.

I also have a 10-month-old daughter, and leaving the country with her would obviously be legally complicated, so I can't just pack a bag and go home.

So, Reddit:

AITA for getting this angry about him bathing our baby without telling me? Or was this just the final straw after years of feeling unheard, controlled and disconnected from my husband?

I recently broke up with my girlfriend. I had reasons for breaking up with her but I could have broken up with her in a better way.

I broke up with her on a school bus yesterday, I waited until there was a small group of people and near my home.

While talking I said

"Um, I have something to tell you.."

"what?"

"I think we should break up..!"

She looked so confused and said "oh.. why??"

and I tell her I just don't see it working

she said "Well I'm not going to force you in a relationship with me if you don't want it"

After I got off the bus I texted her the reason, I don't remember what I fully said but it was about how I like her at first but then she started doing things I didn't like.

Joking about sa. Being really touchy with her friends or making jokes about cheating on me with them. Controlling my clothes or who I was friends with or how close I was to them (even my sister). How she would mock me, and keep doing something when I said stop or don't do that, I don't like it. There's more but I'm lazy.

After she said she understands that but she wasn't the only one that messed it up. That I kept pulling away by not giving her my hairbows (didn't have a lot) and won't give her my hoodie (the hoodie that I just got, and had to beg my mom to let me wear it, and it was my favorite color!)

I explained why I did that, anyways later she asked how long I've been meaning to break up (probably to tell her friends) and I said probably a week.

I ask if she ever thought about ending it or if she cheated on me (she cheated on me the first time we dated, two times!)

And she said she thought about it but more of a hypothetical and I thought she might be cheating 'cause she didn't specify so I asked her when and with who?

And she got angry and said she meant the breaking up part and I said I didn't know, she didn't specify. Then she said "fuck you, I'm not like that anymore"

Also it's been a day since we break up and she said "you're the best thing that happened to me, it's going to be hard getting over you" but girl is literally acting fine, and all ready calling me ex instead of my name

So glad it's over! 🥳 I'm free!

Also I don't exactly what I texted her 'cause I have a bad memory and the reason I'm asking if it's a mistake is because I just want other people's opinions.

Okay, so it’s been a few months since I made my original post about my ex, our breakup, and Buddy, and I figured I should finally give an update because there have actually been quite a few things that have happened since then.

The biggest update is that Buddy is now officially and fully in my name. After my original post, my ex did continue trying to get Buddy back and threatened legal action. He ended up talking to an officer about everything and, after finding out how high/low his chances were of actually getting Buddy, he eventually gave up on trying to take him. After that, he actually started begging me to just share Buddy with him. I said no. I know some people may think that’s harsh, but after he had already threatened to take Buddy from me, I wasn’t comfortable with him taking Buddy without me there. I was genuinely worried that if I let Buddy go with him, he could just decide not to give him back and I’d be right back where I started. So I wasn’t willing to take that risk. Buddy has stayed with me, and now everything is officially in my name.

And then, probably one of the weirdest things, my ex got a new dog. He paid over $2,500 for him from a specific Mini Retriever breeder and had him flown from Utah to Chicago. The dog looks IDENTICAL to Buddy. I’m not even exaggerating. I obviously don’t know why he got a dog that looks so much like Buddy, and I’m not going to assume his reasoning, but it was definitely a little weird to see.

There was also a whole situation with our phone plan. My ex and I were still on the same plan, and he was trying to make me get my own account. That would’ve put me at around $150 a month, and if I opened my own account, I would’ve been stuck in the contract for 6 months. I decided to just join my family’s plan instead because it made more sense financially. The only thing I needed was the transfer PIN from him.

I was at the phone store trying to get everything switched over and was texting him asking for the PIN, and he just completely ignored me. I told him I would give him a few days because I didn’t want to leave the remaining $750 phone balance on him. My new provider was going to give me an e-gift card that I could use toward paying it off, and I offered that to him. Still nothing. Then I got home and immediately got a notification that my phone line had been suspended.

I ended up going back to the phone store, and thankfully he hadn’t reported the phone stolen, so I was able to trade it in, get a new phone, and move onto my family’s plan. The remaining balance was left with him.

And then, today I was scrolling through Facebook and saw a post from his mom trying to sell MY (stolen) WEDDING DRESS. The wedding dress that they refused to give back to me after the breakup. For some context, my grandparents gave me a significant amount of money specifically to help me pay for my wedding dress, and the rest was paid from the savings account my ex and I had together.

I don’t really have some huge dramatic ending to this update. I’m just moving on with life, just Buddy and I, and honestly I’m pretty grateful that the wedding never happened because I can’t imagine still being tied to all of this lol

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITA_Relationships/s/xYI0GATafl

My best friend is getting married in a few months and I’m supposed to be her MOH. I say “supposed to be” bc she never actually asked me lol, she basically just told me I was. We’re extremely close and I would’ve said yes anyway, so I didn’t make a big deal out of it.
Recently I found out from multiple people that she crossed some pretty serious boundaries with another guy at a concert. She was dancing on him, he kissed her forehead, grabbed her ass, they went on a “walk” together, and then she left the concert with him and went back to his house. I DON’T know what happened at his house and I’m not gonna claim something did when I genuinely don’t know. I’m only going off what I know actually happened.
To make it even messier, her fiancé’s BEST MAN is the one who picked her up from the guy’s house afterward. The best man has also been my best friend’s best friend for years and all 3 of them currently live together. So yeah, messy af.
Multiple people witnessed different parts of this, so it wasn’t just one person coming to me with some random rumor. I confronted her and she was pretty standoffish at first. I didn’t tell her everything I knew immediately, but once I started giving specifics she admitted it happened.
Then she broke down crying and basically told me she was “over” her relationship. She said her fiancé doesn’t give her what she needs, doesn’t put enough effort into their relationship, and continues doing things she’s repeatedly told him she isn’t okay with. I told her I’m obviously not in their relationship and I’m not gonna tell her who she should or shouldn’t marry, but if you’re sitting in my car crying saying you’re OVER your relationship, maybe getting married in a few months isn’t the best idea??? I told her there’s nothing wrong with slowing down and figuring out wtf she actually wants BEFORE getting married. Idk if it matters or not but my family just contributed more than half the cost of her wedding dress.
She agreed, said she wanted to slow down, and told me she was going to tell her fiancé everything. This conversation happened around midnight.
Literally about 12 hours later, she told me she had already told him. According to her, he obviously wasn’t happy but was glad she told him and apparently the conversation went okay. Not long after that, she came over to finish my nails AND BROUGHT HIM WITH HER. He acted completely normal. I wanna be fair bc I don’t know him well enough to say how he “should” act, so I’m not saying that means she lied about telling him. It just felt weird af how quickly everything seemed to go back to normal.
And apparently it IS back to normal bc she immediately went right back into full wedding mode. She’s sending me wedding shit again and apparently just made their wedding page last night. There’s been basically zero indication that anything is actually “slowing down” like she told me it was going to.
She sent the wedding page to another close friend of ours, who happens to be “talking” to the best man rn. That’s how my friend found out she’s apparently a bridesmaid . She was never actually asked either, she just saw herself listed as one on the website lmfao. She hasn’t even sent the page to me yet, so apparently assigning people bridal party positions instead of asking them isn’t exclusive to me 😂. Also completely irrelevant, but I saw the pictures she picked for us and they are absolutely HORRENDOUS. I’m literally holding a fucking turkey leg in mine.
Here’s where I’m struggling. I think during our original conversation I made it sound like my biggest issue with being MOH was that her fiancé didn’t know about the cheating. It’s not.
Obviously he deserved to know, but even if she told him EVERYTHING and he genuinely forgave her, that doesn’t change what SHE told me. Less than a day ago she was crying saying she was over the relationship and wanted to slow down, and now we’re right back in full wedding mode. THAT is what I can’t get past.
There’s also some history here. She’s had issues in the past with lying and putting herself above everyone else. I’m not gonna list every shitty thing she’s ever done bc this post is already long enough lol, but I genuinely thought she grew out of that. We got older, life changed, and I really thought she finally grew up. I wasn’t holding old shit against her either. I truly thought that was the OLD her.
But now this happened, other things are starting to come to light too, and I’m realizing she might still be exactly who she’s always been. And honestly that’s fucking with me almost as much as the cheating itself.
I don’t expect my friends to be perfect. People fuck up. I fuck up. But cheating, lying and loyalty are things I feel VERY strongly about, and at what point does “people make mistakes” become a pattern? My morals don’t suddenly disappear bc the person doing something fucked up happens to be my best friend.
So now I’m questioning the friendship too. I love her and we’re extremely close, but I genuinely don’t know if I want to be friends with her anymore. Maybe I just need space and I’ll feel differently. Maybe I won’t. I honestly don’t know rn.
What I DO know is I don’t feel right being her MOH anymore. To me, being MOH isn’t just wearing a dress and taking pictures. I’m standing beside you while you make those vows and supporting the marriage you’re entering, and rn I can’t honestly say I do.
If her fiancé knows everything and forgives her, that’s his decision. If she still wants to marry him, that’s hers. I’m not giving her an ultimatum, demanding she cancel the wedding, or telling either of them what to do. But whether I participate in it is my decision, and I feel like a hypocrite standing next to her at the altar pretending I 100% support a marriage she was literally just crying to me about wanting to slow down.
And honestly, if I’m questioning whether I even want to continue the friendship, wtf am I doing being her MOH?

Friend side: flaked 1 hour prior --> Personally insulted me because of it. My side: Flaked on a plan --> Apologized completely, taking full responsibility with an added part where I don't accept personal insults (apology below at the bottom)

• Friend's response
  • Friend does not believe I fully realized responsibility, and I am hurting them by pointing out the personal insult, and my apology is not proper because I am accusing them, which invalidates the apology.
  • My friend believes that I am overreacting to the insults, as they are sent in an insider friend group chat and the insult is just friend talk.
  • My friend believes I should take the insult, as I am in the wrong.
  • My friend has pent up anger about my tendency to be late.
• My response
  • I believe that I am fully responsible for the problem and accept the blame.
  • I believe my friend's anger is justifiable, but personal insults are not.
  • I acknowledge my friend's anger about my tendency to be late and agree to work on it
  • I never personally insulted them previously, no matter what.
  • I believe that personal insults do nothing to solve the problem.

Friend's Insults

(Emojis are a part of their text.)

Part 1

"Does the whole world revolve around you? : D"

"What, are you a caveman who doesn't know how to use a clock? : D"

"Someone who doesn't know how to speak or act like a decent human being is truly beyond saving."

"Just reroll [your life], kid."

My apology

I want to formally apologize again. It was inappropriate of me to cancel my appointment on Thursday. I promised to help you move things but then canceled, leaving you to carry heavy items alone and disrupting your plans. I sincerely apologize again.

However, I also want to be honest and say that I completely understand your feelings, but saying things like "get lost" or "let's start over" in the group chat and making personal attacks is not the way to maintain a healthy friendship or mutual respect.

In the future, if we have any conflicts, I hope we can focus on the issue, not the person. Next time I promise to help, I will make sure I understand it completely, and I will do my best to prevent similar situations from happening again. Have a nice day :D

I (20M) have been with my girlfriend (19F) for 5 years. For the past two years, her entire life revolved around preparing for a crucial university entrance exam. It was her absolute dream, but it was stressful, and I started feeling neglected because her focus was 100% on studying.
Instead of supporting her, I acted like an idiot. I met another girl and for about two weeks, I had a secret affair messaging her, meeting up, and getting physical/intimate.
The worst part is the timing. She was already under immense pressure, and right when the results came out and she found out she didn't get in, the truth about my cheating came out as well. Instead of being there for her as a safe space when her dream fell apart, I dropped this bomb on her at her absolute lowest moment.
To make matters even worse, right after telling her everything and seeing her completely broken over the exam and the betrayal, I left her. I officially dumped her and spent the next two weeks openly being in a relationship with the other girl. After those two weeks, I realized what I lost, ended things with the new girl, and came back to my ex expecting us to work things out.
Now, she is completely shattered and traumatized by the fact that I abandoned her at her absolute lowest point just to play house with someone else, only to treat her as a backup option when I changed my mind.
AITA?

My sister “Allie” 35F has filed for divorce and so far it’s been ugly as expected. Backstory: Allie and her husband Eddy 36M reconnected as single parents. They previously dated in middle school/high school, broke up and got back together in their early 20s. He had a son (now 13M) and Allie had two kids (now 16M & 13F) and they eventually had a child together 7F who is autistic. Their relationship has been a rollercoaster of WTF. Many relationships with family and friends destroyed. Every time I think it can’t get worse it does. They are both bad parents. Their marriage has had DV, DUIs, 5150 psych holds, CPS, cheating, swinging, open marriage, and so much more. Things really started imploding when Eddy came out as bisexual.

They are now separated. Allie has filed for divorce. Everyday is some new drama. They’ve been posting TikTok’s with their side of the story and seem to have a pissing competition of who can get more dick. I’ve cut off Eddy completely. Don’t hate the guy but don’t want him anywhere near my sister either. Always afraid of what he might do to her next. But my sister is no saint either. She’s not violent like him but they’re both liars, manipulative, and selfish.

I feel like I’m fact checking everything. So I questioned Allie on something, didn’t feel right about her answer, and asked in our “WTF is wrong with Allie” group chat (cousin and other sister Annie) about it. Cousin squealed so fast I had an angry Allie calling me at 8 am sharp. We went off. This had been building. My cousin and sister Annie have been telling me to be more understanding and compassionate since I, myself, am divorced as well. Being divorced, I have given Allie advice which she does not listen to. So every other day, there is another WTF incident. My compassion has been running low. So we argued and are no longer speaking. Cousin was trying to play peace keeper after and ask me to be more understanding. I told her to go F herself. So AITA.