r/BrandNewSentence Jul 31 '26

Mod Post - July “what a time to be blessed with the ability to read” Post

5 Upvotes

Hi there to all our Brand New Sentence contributors, visitors and lurkers! We thought we’d try something new in the group and give our busy moderation team the opportunity to choose some of this month’s brand new sentences and showcase them.

We had to read them, and now so do you.

Presenting our pick of sentences this month that made us wonder if having the ability to read and comprehend English is really a blessing!

“If I drained a litre of my own blood and put it in a blender for two minutes on high, and then back into my body, would the blood still function normally inside me?”

“Heavy Metal Fans ‘vomiting and crying’ as concertgoer poops in moshpit”

“And grandma probably gives a hell of a gummy aka no denture adventure”

We’d also like to take a moment to appreciate a few of our most reposted sentences from this month. We didn’t use science to determine this, these are the ones the mod team remember the most as reposted:

“Katy Perry was trapped in a giant plastic bottle because fans refused to roll her towards the stage”

“You’re not a pregnant woman shooting a potato gun, you expect me to get hard for this!?”

The last one being quite an old post in the group and has decided to pop back into the spotlight in this wonderful July 2026.

What are some of your most memorable brand new sentences for this wonderful July? What ones made you want to remove your eyes?

If you’d like to see more post like this or have any suggestions please hit us up!

Thank you everyone for your contributions from the Brand New Sentence moderation team!


r/BrandNewSentence Jul 31 '26

We are looking for moderators!

9 Upvotes

We've god a decent hand full of mods in this subreddit at the moment, but two or three more mods to increase our numbers and ensure we don't get overwhelmed during periods of high activity would be great. So, mod applications are still open!

No experience necessary, if you're accepted as a mod, we'll have you send us links to posts you think should be removed or approved for the first week or so, as you get a feel for it, so we know you’re settling in well.

Keep in mind that this is a volunteer position. You aren’t expected to mod all day every day, and you're not going to get paid or anything.

Before you apply, please note a few requirements:

* This subreddit is based around English as a subject, so fluency in English is a requirement
* If you use AI in any capacity to write your application, you will be rejected, no exceptions. We will be keeping a close eye on this and also be running your application through AI detectors.
* Profiles that are private in any way will be an instant rejection, unless you're willing to make them public as long as you're a mod here.
* You will need Discord to apply, as that is where we have all our mod discussions. We'll be briefly vetting you as well!

If interested, please answer the following questions and send them via modmail.

Do not send your application as a comment.

  1. What is your Discord username?
  2. Why are you applying for this position?
  3. Do you think there are some rules that need to be changed? If no, skip this question.
  4. Do you feel like there are specific problems with the subreddit that you can help fix? If no, skip this question.
  5. What is the kind of content you would remove from the subreddit? Check the "hot" and/or "new" pages and send a link of an example of a post you would remove and your reasoning as to why it should be removed.
  6. What is the kind of content you would keep on the subreddit? Do you have a favorite post? Leave a link and explain why you think it's a good post.
  7. What is your opinion on Rule 3?

Don't worry about keeping your application too short or too long. Say what you think!


r/BrandNewSentence 2h ago

Well slap my *ss and call me radical.

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4.3k Upvotes

Sorry for the politics of it. But that first line got me!


r/BrandNewSentence 6h ago

Most people side with the Dalmatian puppies.

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9.7k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 3h ago

"But the market wants my ominous forest pics to signify someone is gone"

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453 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 5h ago

This guy's ass kinda looks like deadpool

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178 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 23h ago

Thailand issues prostitution warning

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4.7k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 12h ago

AI doesn't have trauma

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556 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 34m ago

The PCR left my left nostril magnetic, and my arm is magnetic from previous injections.

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r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

...cat that died last month has reincarnated at the same shelter

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11.7k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

”some men are skipping showers before dates to embrace a new trend called pheromone-maxxing”

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6.0k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 17h ago

“Why Hay Bales Are Banned in Pro Ultimate Chicken Horse”

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684 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 23h ago

I designed my room to help me remain chaste.

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1.1k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

Sometimes I wish I had the confidence of a polyamorous white genxer from the Pacific Northwest

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1.7k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

I'm a medium function crack addict

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4.8k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 14h ago

Tupac is not a dragon.

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160 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 2h ago

Police Arrest High School Staffer and Two Young Women for Filming Hamster Massacres in Love Hotels

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18 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 7h ago

Makes me wonder whether we are just living in God’s bras and calling them houses

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32 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

... savannah bananas hooking with...

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1.6k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

“Over 10,000 cases of tofu have been recalled due to possible contamination with ink.”

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1.3k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 17h ago

Me and colin the E coli bacteria went to McDonald’s and I got free grinch socks

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143 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 12h ago

1950s time traveller would short-circuit at this page

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39 Upvotes