My wife and I both love each other to a point where it scares us. We’ve been together two years now, we never fight, we always have compassion for each other because we always understand where the other is coming from. We both know the other only has the best of intentions for each other. We both came from abusive pasts and that’s a reason we are so gentle with each other. When I first met her it was really just like they talk about when you meet another half of you. It was instant love. We both walked side by side, holding each other as if we were the same person split in half and finally put back together. Many times I’ve looked at her and feel like I definitely have been with her before in another life.

Much of what she loves about me are my Buddhist beliefs and values. The way I treat people is specifically tied to me seeking philosophy and adopting Buddhism.

I’m not a good Buddhist when it comes to my feelings for her. I’m too attached and I know it. If I lost her I know I would be in an unthinkable amount of suffering. I have a feeling that I keep coming back to samsara because of her, and I don’t care. Another thing I’m noticing as I’m typing this, I keep talking about her as if she’s a fixed self. I know she can’t be.

I know that even Siddhartha’s wife had been with him through many lifetimes, somehow he was able to choose enlightenment over samsara with her. I don’t know how he did it.

I used to think I wanted Nirvana, but I don’t want it without her. I don’t know what to do about this.

I’m really in a situation where I feel I need to break some habits that I really shouldn’t keep encouraging in myself. Is there a specific meditation or mantra for this? I also know that effort is part of the process for those who meditate or recite, but I’m looking for something that will give me additional support—something that will help me

I recall hearing a story a while ago from the author of a Christian book extolling the virtues of meditation where some Christians joined a Buddhist meditation center to learn mindfulness and like....idk pushed back against some of the things the teacher was teaching. Like actively speaking up when the mindfulness teacher expressed Buddhist perspectives that werent necessarily in line with Christian doctrine. Iirc the mindfulness teacher said something like "we can only save ourselves" and it triggered the Christian attendees.

Im curious if this happens often in Buddhist meditation spaces that are open to non-Buddhists. For me it would seem frightfully presumptuous and uncouth to step unto another religion's space and push back against their teachings-- i couldnt imagine the come apart that some Christians would have if someone started teaching the four noble truths in a Bible study.

But I also dont know if this was an outlier or if this actually happens regularly in Buddhist spaces and teaching centers open to non Buddhists. Was curious if anybody had any experiences they would like to share.

I see these occasionally on places like etsy or ebay. They are usually listed as medicine amulets or health and protection amulets. I see them described as being stuffed with herbs and medicines or prayers and mantras. I figure thats probably mostly true but i feel like i am missing details.

If they are stuffed with herbs and medicines, can someone help point me towards sources on understanding tibetan herbs and traditional medicines?

If anyone has first hand knowledge of the creation of these i would love to pick your brain. I aspire someday to reach a point on my path where i can learn the art of creating thinks like Thangka and learn the art of writing prayers. I have a long way to go until i feel i will find myself in that place but thats never a reason to stop seeking that knowledge and to try and cultivate that skill. Any help is appreciated

AT THE TEMPLE one of my jobs was to sweep. Making my rounds around a Buddhist temple with a broom & dustpan, sweeping up one dust mote at a time, concentrating on the Buddha's name: Namo Amitoufo.

Sweep, sweep, sweep, past, present, future, gone, gone, gone.

Dustpan eventually fills up & is emptied in the trash.

Then, I return my broom, wash my hands, and head to the main hall. Sun pours into that temple, large windows facing east, tiled floor reflects the sunlight as if the ground was yellow gold.

My other job was to "watch the main hall". Sitting full lotus behind a desk reading sutras, nodding at the odd tourist that wanders through. Some days were spent in such sacred silence & stillness, deep in study of the Dharma. Not bad at all! Just sweeping a hall, diving into the sutra treasury, & dwelling my whole heart on six sacred syllables; Na-mo A- mi- t'o- fo!

I’ll keep this brief. Twelve years ago, my friend was murdered when we were just children. I know it was a long time ago, but the grief never goes away. Every year, on the anniversary of her death, I pray and think of her. Today is that day. How can I honor her memory? Are there any mantras or rituals I can perform? Thank you in advance.

I love naming my animals something unique and meaningful. I have a new pet spider who hasn't yet got a name, I'd love the communities help with this (I hope it's allowed!).

The name is for a jumping spider who is likely female, but not yet confirmed. Unisex names are preferred, but it's also just a name, so I'm not overly fussed! Her body is white and she has a mostly red abdomen with some black and yellow patterns. I'd attach a photo, but I don't want to accidentally set off someone's arachnophobia. I haven't gotten to know her well yet, but she seems like a very curious, calm, and sweet spider.

The only name I have thought of so far is Karuna, meaning compassion in Pali. However, the word is a bit too similar sounding to 'cahoona' - British slang for a testicle. I know some people in my life will make that joke!

I also love nature inspired names - I've also had an Acacia and Juniper :)

Thank you 🪷

Hi all,

I (M18) have secretly been struggling with porn addiction for more than half of my life. It’s to a point where I’m genuinely starting to lose touch with reality.

I was an incredibly extroverted kid, but when I stumbled upon pornography, I had suddenly become very antisocial, anxious, and depressed. I began treating others badly, and I would get the most terrible mood swings. One minute I would be chatting with my parents in the car, and the next we would be arguing over something random. I feel so terrible that I’ve neglected my parents. But my ego is hanging on to the person that they think I am. Ever since I became addicted to porn, I started acting cold and nonchalant towards them. Whenever they invite me out to dinner I’d say no and tell them I needed to study or that I had other responsibilities. But really I do want to spend time with them. I want to be with them before I can’t anymore. But I can’t bring myself to change. I don’t know why. Whenever they want to spend time with me I’d instinctively say no and give them some bs reason why I’d rather not. I think a part of me is afraid of ‘disappointing’ them because this image of me that they have in their heads would be altered if I wasn’t this way. Even writing this, I realise how dumb this sounds.

I wanted to post this question on this sub because, one, I’m Buddhist, and two, I think people here won’t judge me too harshly.

I understand the role of meditation and the importance of letting go. However, it feels like there are shackles tying me down. Some days it’s really easy to not indulge in porn; I just go on my day. And when these days stack up, I feel much less stressed and I start to actually feel happy. But occasionally the urge hits, especially when I’m lying in bed before I shower, and when those thoughts infest, I can’t them go. No matter how hard I try, be it meditating or distracting myself with other tasks, they come back eventually and I end up masturbating. I think it’s disgusting and I feel like a terrible person. For the next few days, everything becomes really infuriating; I get angry and annoyed very easily at literally every little thing. Sometimes this cycle just hurts to live in and sometimes I feel like maybe the world is better off without this degenerate porn addict.

I think I believe in Buddhism because the things it preaches do work, but no matter how many times I search for a solution, I can’t seem to find one. Sometimes I start to wonder whether I believe in Buddhism because I was born in a Buddhist family or because I truly believe in its teachings.

My ego is caught up in trying to put on different facades around different people. I’ve been doing this my whole life. I’ve never felt like I could just be myself around anyone. Partly because I don’t know what ‘being myself’ even is. Even when I’m alone, I’m never ‘myself’. My mind keeps attacking everything that I do. ‘You’re so retarded’, ‘nobody can love you’, ‘you’ll be alone for the rest of your life’. And on occasions when I was so close to truly being myself, where I almost felt free to do anything and say anything I want, I end up associating with ‘friends’ that would shame and mock me. I’ve learnt to always hide myself so that no one can attack me, so that they would attack a facade instead. But I’ve hidden myself for so long that I don’t think I can find myself anymore.

When I interact with people in real life, I notice that I’ve started to stutter quite a bit and that my voice becomes higher pitched. I think I want to be seen as less ‘intimidating’ and more submissive. I hate that word. And I can’t even look at women in the outside world anymore. I’ve become such a weird, perverse person.

I think porn is the most convenient outlet for all the pent up emotions inside of me. I just remind myself ‘you don’t need anyone, you can just jerk off to these women’. I know they’re fake but I can’t control myself.

I know that there isn’t really the concept of ‘sin’ in Buddhism. But I’ve misconstrued this to mean that ‘I can do anything I want’. I know that watching porn is wrong. I don’t know why it’s wrong it just feels wrong. Everything about it is wrong. But when I try to stop myself when the urge hits, I get into a logic battle with my brain. I sometimes search up ‘is watching porn wrong’ or ‘is watching porn wrong in Buddhism’ and the top results always show ‘no’. And that’s when my brain wins. Other reasons that it likes to use are statistics like how men that ejaculate over 21 times a month have a 50% reduced chance of getting prostate cancer. I know this statistic like the back of my hand because I’ve used it to justify my pornography usage so many times. Buddhism doesn’t have ‘sins’ but it feels sinful to watch pornography. Especially on days where I go to the temple. It feels like a veil of guilt is constantly being draped over my eyes and whenever I pray to Buddha or kneel in front of the religious statues, it almost feels like I’m a fraud. Like I’m not a ‘good’ Buddhist, whatever that means.

I really hate porn and I really hate watching porn and I really hate myself for watching porn and I hate the fact that I can’t stop and I hate the fact that I have to use such unwholesome language to express my feelings.

I tend to cherry-pick information that only perpetuates my porn consumption, so I’m sure that all the reasons I’ve mentioned above as to why I’d want to quit porn are only the ‘palatable’ reasons. There is probably a deeper reason for why I want to quit that I can’t express or that my brain has suppressed.

I’m not sure if this is the type of question that is meant for this subreddit, but if anyone can offer me any guidance, it would be much appreciated. This feels like a last resort, and I will try very hard to be open minded. Thank you 🙏

TL;DR I can’t stop watching porn even though I know it’s very bad for me and that it’s affecting all facets of my life negatively.

In Newar Vajrayana Buddhism of Nepal, one traditional way of organizing tantric practice is into four classes: Kriyā, Caryā, Yoga and Anuttarayoga Tantra.

They represent different ways in which ritual, meditation, deity practice and the transformation of the practitioner are brought together.

Kriyā Tantra places the strongest emphasis on external ritual: purification, offerings, mantra, mudrā, pūjā and correct ritual procedure. This is the aspect of Vajrayana most people in Nepal actually see. The patron may observe purity rules, fasting and other disciplines while the Buddhist Priest performs the ritual. 

Caryā Tantra brings outer ritual and inner cultivation closer together. Caryā literally concerns conduct or practice. In the Newar context, this can be understood through disciplines such as vrata, where worship is accompanied by ethical observance and Buddhist commitments. Newar Buddhist accounts document practices such as Aṣṭamīvrata, Vasundharāvrata and Tārāvrata. Caryā therefore begins to make the practitioner's conduct and inner state as important as the ceremony being performed. 

Yoga Tantra shifts the emphasis further toward meditation and identification with the enlightened world represented by the deity and maṇḍala. Rather than simply making an offering to a Buddha or bodhisattva, tantric meditation increasingly involves visualizing the deity, maṇḍala and one's own body, speech and mind within that awakened framework. Textual traditions such as the Sarvatathāgatatattvasaṃgraha and Sarvadurgatipariśodhana belong to this Yoga Tantra world, traditions whose Sanskrit texts, maṇḍalas and ritual systems were also preserved in Nepal. 

Anuttarayoga Tantra goes still further into practices that are normally restricted by initiation. Cakrasaṃvara, Vajravārāhī, Hevajra, Guhyasamāja and Kālacakra traditions have all been preserved in Newar Vajrayana. Cakrasaṃvara is especially important: initiation into its maṇḍala has historically been significant among initiated Vajrācārya and Śākya communities of the Kathmandu Valley. At this level, practices can involve detailed deity yoga, generation and completion-stage meditation, subtle-body yogas and the transformation of ordinary experience into the path itself. Because these practices depend on abhiṣeka and oral instruction, much of this dimension remains largely invisible to the general public. 

Hello!

I have had this fan for so long..can anyone help me out by telling me what this says? I will be thankful! 😊❤️

Hi everyone,

I just came back from a retreat. It was my third time attending one, and this time it was led by a monk rather than a lay teacher. This time, many things clicked, and I found myself deeply in tune with the philosophy and want to study it in a complete way.

For context, I come from nearly 15 years of studying and practicing Western Hermetic and Alchemical traditions, along with an interest in shamanism and Indian philosophy.

After doing some research, I was recommended Pabongka Rinpoche's book, Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand, as a comprehensive book that explains the entire Buddhist philosophy through all its main concepts.

My plan is to read it every day and work through all the meditations so I can properly start studying Buddhist philosophy and understand all the concepts.

I know I'm supposed to have a teacher, but I’d appreciate any advice from experienced practitioners on whether this is a good approach for someone who wants to study and practice by himself. Thanks!

Can somebody answer this simple question without changing what i asked clearly? Only way i get answers is when my question is altered in a meaning i don't created at all.

People always inject impermanence, conditionality, interbeing... etc. Self concept does not binded to them. I am here because my parents made me, I won't be there after i die. But now, i am clearly here as myself.

I am the owner this body. Yes, this will pass but currently it goes where i want to go. If i lack that, i will lose the ownership once i had. Ownership does not imply a full control either. In life, it never means that way. No body can control my body except me.

So, basically. Whenever i try to deep dive in Buddhist philosophy. Either it goes in to nihilism or my questions are dodged by injecting meaning that is clearly not there.

I think, a selfless being can not suffer. Like a blind man can not see. Self is like an organ that you percieve suffering. You might say source of the suffering is the self. But saying self does not exist is just so wrong to me.

I study religions and I noticed that I know nothing about Buddhism. What should I know? The only thing I know is that for some people it might be deist, for other atheists.

So what should I know first and what is the thing that makes you happy in your faith?

“Mendicants, I will teach you the principle for the complete understanding of all grasping.

["And what is grasping? There are these four kinds of grasping. Grasping at sensual pleasures, views, precepts and observances, and theories of a self. SN 12.2"]

Listen …

And what is the principle for the complete understanding of all grasping?

Eye consciousness arises dependent on the eye and sights. The meeting of the three is contact. Contact is a requirement for feeling.

Seeing this, a learned noble disciple grows disillusioned with the eye, sights, eye consciousness, eye contact, and feeling. Being disillusioned, desire fades away. When desire fades away they’re freed. When they are liberated, they understand: ‘I have completely understood grasping.’

Ear consciousness arises dependent on the ear and sounds. …

Nose consciousness arises dependent on the nose and smells. …

Tongue consciousness arises dependent on the tongue and tastes. …

Body consciousness arises dependent on the body and touches. …

Mind consciousness arises dependent on the mind and ideas. The meeting of the three is contact. Contact is a requirement for feeling.

Seeing this, a learned noble disciple grows disillusioned with the mind, ideas, mind consciousness, mind contact, and feeling. Being disillusioned, desire fades away. When desire fades away they’re freed. When they are liberated, they understand: ‘I have completely understood grasping.’

This is the principle for the complete understanding of all grasping.”

SN 35.60: Sabbupādānapariññāsutta—Bhikkhu Sujato

Don't just let go; stop reaching out, grasping, and clinging.

A long time ago, I began studying Buddhism by myself. At first, I do it mainly through philosophy way. Later, I began chanting sutras every day, and Buddhism became something more religious to me.

But at that time, I knew almost nothing about love. I was too young. I only knew the anxiety and confusion of being a young person.

When I finally came to understand love, I also came to understand suffering—and perhaps, for the first time, I understood what the Buddha had been trying to teach me all along.

I want to share something that has stayed with me since I encountered it, in case it speaks to any of you the way it spoke to me.

At Donglin Temple in Jiangxi, there are three reclining golden Buddha figures resting in quiet alignment. Their eyes are lowered, their expressions soft and meditative. Above them, carved into dark wooden ceiling panels, are golden Chinese scriptures — including the Medicine Buddha Mantra. The blue coiled hair, the ornate gold robes, the warm light on their faces — it all works together to slow you down the moment you step near.

What struck me most wasn't the grandeur. It was the stillness.

In practice, images like these aren't really objects of worship, at least not in the way outsiders sometimes assume. I've come to see them more as gentle mirrors — reminders of the qualities we're cultivating within ourselves:

• Wisdom — the lowered gaze, turned inward rather than outward
• Compassion — the softness in the expression, open and unhurried
• Inner peace — the reclining posture, at ease without being asleep

The part I keep returning to is the repetition. Three figures, the same warm gold, the same quiet posture. It felt like a visual echo of something the path keeps teaching me: awakening isn't a single dramatic moment. It's approached slowly, patiently — one breath, one moment of attention at a time.

We often want insight to arrive all at once, like a door swinging open. But sitting with those three Buddhas, I felt the opposite invitation. Just stay. Return. Notice. Again and again.

I'm curious — for those of you who've spent time with temple imagery or statues in your own practice, do they function this way for you too? As reminders rather than destinations? Or do you relate to them differently?

Would love to hear how others sit with this.

Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche:

"A crystal, [like a clear quartz crystal], when placed on a piece of cloth, takes on the color of that cloth, whether white, yellow, red or black. In the same way, the friends with whom you keep company the most often, whether suitable or unsuitable, will greatly influence the direction your life and practice take."

Until recently, I had no idea that such a significant Buddhist presence existed in my own city. After digging deeper, I was genuinely surprised to discover 20+ Buddhist temples, viharas and major meditation centres within the district alone.

But this is only the visible part of the story. Beyond these known institutions, there are many smaller viharas, local temples and community practice centres that remain largely undocumented due to limited online records and lack of easily available information.

What surprised me even more is that this is not an isolated case. A similar pattern appears across districts and cities of North India, where the Buddhist presence on the ground seems far greater than what official statistics alone reveal.

One important reason is that many people who follow Buddhist teachings, actively practice Buddhism or participate in Buddhist communities continue to identify as Hindu in official records. As a result, census numbers may not always capture the full extent of Buddhist communities and their cultural presence.

Another overlooked factor is that many Buddhist institutions exist in rural areas, villages and smaller towns, where they rarely receive online visibility or documentation.

For a third-tier North Indian city, discovering this level of Buddhist presence was truly fascinating. It is a reminder that the religious and cultural landscape of India is often much richer and more diverse than what statistics alone can show.

Do buddhist community Give him same respect as christians give to pope?

I know I sound childish but I m so much curious to know about it

I have also seen many Chinese media making fun of him so is the criticism valid or just propaganda.