I recall hearing a story a while ago from the author of a Christian book extolling the virtues of meditation where some Christians joined a Buddhist meditation center to learn mindfulness and like....idk pushed back against some of the things the teacher was teaching. Like actively speaking up when the mindfulness teacher expressed Buddhist perspectives that werent necessarily in line with Christian doctrine. Iirc the mindfulness teacher said something like "we can only save ourselves" and it triggered the Christian attendees.

Im curious if this happens often in Buddhist meditation spaces that are open to non-Buddhists. For me it would seem frightfully presumptuous and uncouth to step unto another religion's space and push back against their teachings-- i couldnt imagine the come apart that some Christians would have if someone started teaching the four noble truths in a Bible study.

But I also dont know if this was an outlier or if this actually happens regularly in Buddhist spaces and teaching centers open to non Buddhists. Was curious if anybody had any experiences they would like to share.

Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche:

"A crystal, [like a clear quartz crystal], when placed on a piece of cloth, takes on the color of that cloth, whether white, yellow, red or black. In the same way, the friends with whom you keep company the most often, whether suitable or unsuitable, will greatly influence the direction your life and practice take."

Hi all,

I (M18) have secretly been struggling with porn addiction for more than half of my life. It’s to a point where I’m genuinely starting to lose touch with reality.

I was an incredibly extroverted kid, but when I stumbled upon pornography, I had suddenly become very antisocial, anxious, and depressed. I began treating others badly, and I would get the most terrible mood swings. One minute I would be chatting with my parents in the car, and the next we would be arguing over something random. I feel so terrible that I’ve neglected my parents. But my ego is hanging on to the person that they think I am. Ever since I became addicted to porn, I started acting cold and nonchalant towards them. Whenever they invite me out to dinner I’d say no and tell them I needed to study or that I had other responsibilities. But really I do want to spend time with them. I want to be with them before I can’t anymore. But I can’t bring myself to change. I don’t know why. Whenever they want to spend time with me I’d instinctively say no and give them some bs reason why I’d rather not. I think a part of me is afraid of ‘disappointing’ them because this image of me that they have in their heads would be altered if I wasn’t this way. Even writing this, I realise how dumb this sounds.

I wanted to post this question on this sub because, one, I’m Buddhist, and two, I think people here won’t judge me too harshly.

I understand the role of meditation and the importance of letting go. However, it feels like there are shackles tying me down. Some days it’s really easy to not indulge in porn; I just go on my day. And when these days stack up, I feel much less stressed and I start to actually feel happy. But occasionally the urge hits, especially when I’m lying in bed before I shower, and when those thoughts infest, I can’t them go. No matter how hard I try, be it meditating or distracting myself with other tasks, they come back eventually and I end up masturbating. I think it’s disgusting and I feel like a terrible person. For the next few days, everything becomes really infuriating; I get angry and annoyed very easily at literally every little thing. Sometimes this cycle just hurts to live in and sometimes I feel like maybe the world is better off without this degenerate porn addict.

I think I believe in Buddhism because the things it preaches do work, but no matter how many times I search for a solution, I can’t seem to find one. Sometimes I start to wonder whether I believe in Buddhism because I was born in a Buddhist family or because I truly believe in its teachings.

My ego is caught up in trying to put on different facades around different people. I’ve been doing this my whole life. I’ve never felt like I could just be myself around anyone. Partly because I don’t know what ‘being myself’ even is. Even when I’m alone, I’m never ‘myself’. My mind keeps attacking everything that I do. ‘You’re so retarded’, ‘nobody can love you’, ‘you’ll be alone for the rest of your life’. And on occasions when I was so close to truly being myself, where I almost felt free to do anything and say anything I want, I end up associating with ‘friends’ that would shame and mock me. I’ve learnt to always hide myself so that no one can attack me, so that they would attack a facade instead. But I’ve hidden myself for so long that I don’t think I can find myself anymore.

When I interact with people in real life, I notice that I’ve started to stutter quite a bit and that my voice becomes higher pitched. I think I want to be seen as less ‘intimidating’ and more submissive. I hate that word. And I can’t even look at women in the outside world anymore. I’ve become such a weird, perverse person.

I think porn is the most convenient outlet for all the pent up emotions inside of me. I just remind myself ‘you don’t need anyone, you can just jerk off to these women’. I know they’re fake but I can’t control myself.

I know that there isn’t really the concept of ‘sin’ in Buddhism. But I’ve misconstrued this to mean that ‘I can do anything I want’. I know that watching porn is wrong. I don’t know why it’s wrong it just feels wrong. Everything about it is wrong. But when I try to stop myself when the urge hits, I get into a logic battle with my brain. I sometimes search up ‘is watching porn wrong’ or ‘is watching porn wrong in Buddhism’ and the top results always show ‘no’. And that’s when my brain wins. Other reasons that it likes to use are statistics like how men that ejaculate over 21 times a month have a 50% reduced chance of getting prostate cancer. I know this statistic like the back of my hand because I’ve used it to justify my pornography usage so many times. Buddhism doesn’t have ‘sins’ but it feels sinful to watch pornography. Especially on days where I go to the temple. It feels like a veil of guilt is constantly being draped over my eyes and whenever I pray to Buddha or kneel in front of the religious statues, it almost feels like I’m a fraud. Like I’m not a ‘good’ Buddhist, whatever that means.

I really hate porn and I really hate watching porn and I really hate myself for watching porn and I hate the fact that I can’t stop and I hate the fact that I have to use such unwholesome language to express my feelings.

I tend to cherry-pick information that only perpetuates my porn consumption, so I’m sure that all the reasons I’ve mentioned above as to why I’d want to quit porn are only the ‘palatable’ reasons. There is probably a deeper reason for why I want to quit that I can’t express or that my brain has suppressed.

I’m not sure if this is the type of question that is meant for this subreddit, but if anyone can offer me any guidance, it would be much appreciated. This feels like a last resort, and I will try very hard to be open minded. Thank you 🙏

TL;DR I can’t stop watching porn even though I know it’s very bad for me and that it’s affecting all facets of my life negatively.

My wife and I both love each other to a point where it scares us. We’ve been together two years now, we never fight, we always have compassion for each other because we always understand where the other is coming from. We both know the other only has the best of intentions for each other. We both came from abusive pasts and that’s a reason we are so gentle with each other. When I first met her it was really just like they talk about when you meet another half of you. It was instant love. We both walked side by side, holding each other as if we were the same person split in half and finally put back together. Many times I’ve looked at her and feel like I definitely have been with her before in another life.

Much of what she loves about me are my Buddhist beliefs and values. The way I treat people is specifically tied to me seeking philosophy and adopting Buddhism.

I’m not a good Buddhist when it comes to my feelings for her. I’m too attached and I know it. If I lost her I know I would be in an unthinkable amount of suffering. I have a feeling that I keep coming back to samsara because of her, and I don’t care. Another thing I’m noticing as I’m typing this, I keep talking about her as if she’s a fixed self. I know she can’t be.

I know that even Siddhartha’s wife had been with him through many lifetimes, somehow he was able to choose enlightenment over samsara with her. I don’t know how he did it.

I used to think I wanted Nirvana, but I don’t want it without her. I don’t know what to do about this.

In Newar Vajrayana Buddhism of Nepal, one traditional way of organizing tantric practice is into four classes: Kriyā, Caryā, Yoga and Anuttarayoga Tantra.

They represent different ways in which ritual, meditation, deity practice and the transformation of the practitioner are brought together.

Kriyā Tantra places the strongest emphasis on external ritual: purification, offerings, mantra, mudrā, pūjā and correct ritual procedure. This is the aspect of Vajrayana most people in Nepal actually see. The patron may observe purity rules, fasting and other disciplines while the Buddhist Priest performs the ritual. 

Caryā Tantra brings outer ritual and inner cultivation closer together. Caryā literally concerns conduct or practice. In the Newar context, this can be understood through disciplines such as vrata, where worship is accompanied by ethical observance and Buddhist commitments. Newar Buddhist accounts document practices such as Aṣṭamīvrata, Vasundharāvrata and Tārāvrata. Caryā therefore begins to make the practitioner's conduct and inner state as important as the ceremony being performed. 

Yoga Tantra shifts the emphasis further toward meditation and identification with the enlightened world represented by the deity and maṇḍala. Rather than simply making an offering to a Buddha or bodhisattva, tantric meditation increasingly involves visualizing the deity, maṇḍala and one's own body, speech and mind within that awakened framework. Textual traditions such as the Sarvatathāgatatattvasaṃgraha and Sarvadurgatipariśodhana belong to this Yoga Tantra world, traditions whose Sanskrit texts, maṇḍalas and ritual systems were also preserved in Nepal. 

Anuttarayoga Tantra goes still further into practices that are normally restricted by initiation. Cakrasaṃvara, Vajravārāhī, Hevajra, Guhyasamāja and Kālacakra traditions have all been preserved in Newar Vajrayana. Cakrasaṃvara is especially important: initiation into its maṇḍala has historically been significant among initiated Vajrācārya and Śākya communities of the Kathmandu Valley. At this level, practices can involve detailed deity yoga, generation and completion-stage meditation, subtle-body yogas and the transformation of ordinary experience into the path itself. Because these practices depend on abhiṣeka and oral instruction, much of this dimension remains largely invisible to the general public. 

I’ll keep this brief. Twelve years ago, my friend was murdered when we were just children. I know it was a long time ago, but the grief never goes away. Every year, on the anniversary of her death, I pray and think of her. Today is that day. How can I honor her memory? Are there any mantras or rituals I can perform? Thank you in advance.

Hello!

I have had this fan for so long..can anyone help me out by telling me what this says? I will be thankful! 😊❤️

I want to know what are the core buddhist precepts that all traditional buddhists and converts to these schools traditionally agree on?

I am asking this question because there was a comment on another thread that neo buddhist movement like that of ambedkar in India that began in 1956 is not really buddhist

That argument can be made about certain buddhist new age development in West too. Also I have heard terms like secular buddhism.

However I believe some core beliefs should be common to all whatever the differences. What are they?

Would love to hear thoughts.

keep running into what seems like a fundamental problem with the Buddhist explanation of suffering.

Suppose, hypothetically, that before there were self-aware humans, there were only biological organisms operating without reflective awareness. Eventually evolution produces a creature capable of thinking: I exist, I will die, I want things, I can lose things, I am trapped in circumstances I didn't choose.

That creature didn't choose to become self-aware. It didn't choose to have desires, fear death, become attached, or discover that existence is impermanent. The causal chain that produced its capacity for suffering existed before it had any awareness or agency whatsoever.

So why isn't that creature, at least in some meaningful sense, a victim?

And saying “suffering arises dependently” doesn't seem to answer the deeper question. It explains the mechanism, but not why reality has a structure in which sentient beings can be produced that are capable of experiencing suffering in the first place.

If Buddhism says there is no first cause and that the cycle is beginningless, doesn't that simply move the question backward indefinitely?

In other words:

Why is there a universe/process capable of generating sentient beings trapped in craving, attachment, aging, sickness and death at all?

And if the answer is “there is no first cause,” what distinguishes that from simply accepting that the suffering-producing structure of reality is a brute fact?

This is where Gnosticism seems philosophically interesting to me: instead of asking only “how does suffering arise and how can I escape it?”, it asks “why is consciousness embedded in a reality with these particular conditions to begin with?”

What is the specifically Buddhist answer to that question?

Not “how do I stop suffering,” but why should a sentient being ever have been placed in a position where suffering was possible before it had any opportunity to choose otherwise?

Hey everyone, wouldn’t say I’m a Buddhist but I have been doing some research lately and have been pretty fascinated by everything. However, one thing that gets at me is the necessity of Nirvana.

To me, it just sounds like you’re straight up choosing to stop existing at all, and with all the things that existence can make you experience, I just can’t find the idea of nothingness more worth it than the higher realms (like the deva form realms where you live for a long time getting what you want).

Of course, I understand the lesson behind attachment, since if you cling to things as if they are permanent, you suffer. But even if you do suffer, you still get to experience lots of things, which makes it worth it.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s for when you’re just tired of existing and the cycles themselves and have transcended wanting anything at all?

Please excuse me if I sound ignorant and correct me.

AT THE TEMPLE one of my jobs was to sweep. Making my rounds around a Buddhist temple with a broom & dustpan, sweeping up one dust mote at a time, concentrating on the Buddha's name: Namo Amitoufo.

Sweep, sweep, sweep, past, present, future, gone, gone, gone.

Dustpan eventually fills up & is emptied in the trash.

Then, I return my broom, wash my hands, and head to the main hall. Sun pours into that temple, large windows facing east, tiled floor reflects the sunlight as if the ground was yellow gold.

My other job was to "watch the main hall". Sitting full lotus behind a desk reading sutras, nodding at the odd tourist that wanders through. Some days were spent in such sacred silence & stillness, deep in study of the Dharma. Not bad at all! Just sweeping a hall, diving into the sutra treasury, & dwelling my whole heart on six sacred syllables; Na-mo A- mi- t'o- fo!

I’m really in a situation where I feel I need to break some habits that I really shouldn’t keep encouraging in myself. Is there a specific meditation or mantra for this? I also know that effort is part of the process for those who meditate or recite, but I’m looking for something that will give me additional support—something that will help me

Can somebody answer this simple question without changing what i asked clearly? Only way i get answers is when my question is altered in a meaning i don't created at all.

People always inject impermanence, conditionality, interbeing... etc. Self concept does not binded to them. I am here because my parents made me, I won't be there after i die. But now, i am clearly here as myself.

I am the owner this body. Yes, this will pass but currently it goes where i want to go. If i lack that, i will lose the ownership once i had. Ownership does not imply a full control either. In life, it never means that way. No body can control my body except me.

So, basically. Whenever i try to deep dive in Buddhist philosophy. Either it goes in to nihilism or my questions are dodged by injecting meaning that is clearly not there.

I think, a selfless being can not suffer. Like a blind man can not see. Self is like an organ that you percieve suffering. You might say source of the suffering is the self. But saying self does not exist is just so wrong to me.

“Mendicants, I will teach you the principle for the complete understanding of all grasping.

["And what is grasping? There are these four kinds of grasping. Grasping at sensual pleasures, views, precepts and observances, and theories of a self. SN 12.2"]

Listen …

And what is the principle for the complete understanding of all grasping?

Eye consciousness arises dependent on the eye and sights. The meeting of the three is contact. Contact is a requirement for feeling.

Seeing this, a learned noble disciple grows disillusioned with the eye, sights, eye consciousness, eye contact, and feeling. Being disillusioned, desire fades away. When desire fades away they’re freed. When they are liberated, they understand: ‘I have completely understood grasping.’

Ear consciousness arises dependent on the ear and sounds. …

Nose consciousness arises dependent on the nose and smells. …

Tongue consciousness arises dependent on the tongue and tastes. …

Body consciousness arises dependent on the body and touches. …

Mind consciousness arises dependent on the mind and ideas. The meeting of the three is contact. Contact is a requirement for feeling.

Seeing this, a learned noble disciple grows disillusioned with the mind, ideas, mind consciousness, mind contact, and feeling. Being disillusioned, desire fades away. When desire fades away they’re freed. When they are liberated, they understand: ‘I have completely understood grasping.’

This is the principle for the complete understanding of all grasping.”

SN 35.60: Sabbupādānapariññāsutta—Bhikkhu Sujato

Don't just let go; stop reaching out, grasping, and clinging.

Perhaps no aspect of the Yogacara teaching is more central than that of the Alaya-Vijnana, it provides the culmination of earlier explorations of continuity in experience and power of karmic habituation.

The Alaya-Vijnana, or the storehouse consciousness, is the subconscious aspect of our mind that functions through lifetimes, when we are unconscious, and is what upholds the karma of our actions. Through the karmic tendencies stored within, it manifests not just our mental lives, but also the physical environment around us.

It supersedes earlier attempts to both explain continuity when the mental consciousness is not active, when we are asleep, between lives, or in deep samadhi and justifies how karma can be associated with particular individuals.

Other Buddhist groups proposed concepts like the Pudgala, a personhood, that was neither the same nor different to the skandhas violating the Buddha’s teaching on noself. Or vague suggestions subconscious aggregates that fail to explain the connection between karma and the mind.

Ultimately, the alaya-vijnana came to dominate Buddhist discourse on the subconscious in northern Buddhism. And now as far as I’m aware, only the Gelugpas of all Mahayana traditions dont accept the teaching. Though in its place they propose a subtle mind that serves almost the same purpose.

I see these occasionally on places like etsy or ebay. They are usually listed as medicine amulets or health and protection amulets. I see them described as being stuffed with herbs and medicines or prayers and mantras. I figure thats probably mostly true but i feel like i am missing details.

If they are stuffed with herbs and medicines, can someone help point me towards sources on understanding tibetan herbs and traditional medicines?

If anyone has first hand knowledge of the creation of these i would love to pick your brain. I aspire someday to reach a point on my path where i can learn the art of creating thinks like Thangka and learn the art of writing prayers. I have a long way to go until i feel i will find myself in that place but thats never a reason to stop seeking that knowledge and to try and cultivate that skill. Any help is appreciated

I love naming my animals something unique and meaningful. I have a new pet spider who hasn't yet got a name, I'd love the communities help with this (I hope it's allowed!).

The name is for a jumping spider who is likely female, but not yet confirmed. Unisex names are preferred, but it's also just a name, so I'm not overly fussed! Her body is white and she has a mostly red abdomen with some black and yellow patterns. I'd attach a photo, but I don't want to accidentally set off someone's arachnophobia. I haven't gotten to know her well yet, but she seems like a very curious, calm, and sweet spider.

The only name I have thought of so far is Karuna, meaning compassion in Pali. However, the word is a bit too similar sounding to 'cahoona' - British slang for a testicle. I know some people in my life will make that joke!

I also love nature inspired names - I've also had an Acacia and Juniper :)

Thank you 🪷

A long time ago, I began studying Buddhism by myself. At first, I do it mainly through philosophy way. Later, I began chanting sutras every day, and Buddhism became something more religious to me.

But at that time, I knew almost nothing about love. I was too young. I only knew the anxiety and confusion of being a young person.

When I finally came to understand love, I also came to understand suffering—and perhaps, for the first time, I understood what the Buddha had been trying to teach me all along.

Hello everyone!
Sorry, if this question is a little silly.
I want to take part in a buddhism course in my city, which is supposed to teach the basic elements of the buddha doctrine and also just to meditate.
I have been wanting to do this for ages but I have always been too afraid because I suffer from a lot of anxiety.
Now, I'm wondering if maybe any of you know what I should expect in such a course?
Will I have to talk about myself a lot and why I am there? Or is it more like listening to a lecture?
I have meditated before, that is not so new to me.
As always I am just more afraid of the social expectations I have to meet, as I always feel quite lost in such interactions.
I do realise there's probably no definite answer because I suppose it all comes down to the temple and the person on how they choose to lead the course, but I wanted to ask regardless.

Sorry, if any of the words don't seem quite right, english is not my first language but I don't want to double check right now.

Hi everyone,

I just came back from a retreat. It was my third time attending one, and this time it was led by a monk rather than a lay teacher. This time, many things clicked, and I found myself deeply in tune with the philosophy and want to study it in a complete way.

For context, I come from nearly 15 years of studying and practicing Western Hermetic and Alchemical traditions, along with an interest in shamanism and Indian philosophy.

After doing some research, I was recommended Pabongka Rinpoche's book, Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand, as a comprehensive book that explains the entire Buddhist philosophy through all its main concepts.

My plan is to read it every day and work through all the meditations so I can properly start studying Buddhist philosophy and understand all the concepts.

I know I'm supposed to have a teacher, but I’d appreciate any advice from experienced practitioners on whether this is a good approach for someone who wants to study and practice by himself. Thanks!

I'm 21 and I suffer from a mental disorder, OCD. I spend hours in a day ruminating and analysing thoughts, past events and intentions which i might've had before. I am taking therapy for it but as a fairly new student of Buddhism, I wanted to specifically know what Buddha teaches us about internal suffering, forgiving myself, and letting things go?

What matters in the long run? Sometimes I wish I could restart my life again as someone or something else, human life is full of suffering in itself. Everyday I wish that reincarnation is real and in my next life i become someone or something which makes me suffer less.

How do I overcome this overthinking and overanalysis habit which has been built throughout several months or years? All advice I get is to "stop thinking about it" and "don't worry much about it" but I just can't stop. Please, help me through what I can do to possibly reduce or end the suffering. Thank you in advance.