A guy I matched with sent me a pic of him doing a pig nose as the first message. Some people are just so weird..

I (30F) stopped going for conventionally attractive men many years ago after realizing I am far below their league through the fact they never wanted anything serious with me and would use excuses like “I’m not ready for a serious relationship right now” and then they commit to another woman (who looks like a model) the next day.

So I started going exclusively for obese men. But shockingly, they were the same: they want to use me sexually like a fleshlight but they want commitment with model looking women (I know this because their following list is all supermodels and IG models).

I have had 1 serious relationship but it was hell because would not tolerate anything for me due to probably not finding me attractive which angered him. He criticized me all the time, yet always went back to his ex who cheated on him dozens of times and would always make excuses for her bad behavior and constantly brought her up, but he would never give me 0.1% of the grace he gives her even though I never cheated on him or did anything close to the stuff she did.

I’m starting to think maybe I’m far uglier than I thought. Maybe I have body dysmorphia but the other way around: not realizing I’m monstrous looking and thinking I’m average

I don't mean to be rude but I don't think I can make jokes on everything. I mean you just show 2-4 photo of yours, and write some basic things like "the best way to win me over is to take me to my favourite restaurant"... Woman, I didn't dream of your favourite restaurant last night... How on earth would I know that thing... They prefer someone serious... Few prompts below, win me over with good jokes... I ain't dave chappelle...

After swipping for like 1000+ woman, I got a match with only 2... Rest just look at my notes and like meh... I mean, excuse me miss, I literally spent money on that "meh" thing. Have some respect for the efforts atleast...

I can joke around but I need a situation ... I am not any joker who you just ask, "ok... Say something funny" and I'll pull something out of my magic hat... For me, jokes and fart are like the same.. if I force it out, it'd probably be a shit... But NOOOO.. they PREFER a serious funny guy... EXCUSE MEEE... Tf you mean by that

It's just a rant post... And if anyone can make it simpler for me on how to get a match without much struggle (financially as well), I will pray for you guys to get a good match that makes you stop using this app...

I had this reviewed last week and on a couple of other subreddits to mostly positive feedback. The issue I run into is regardless of how I change it on bumble I maybe get 1 like from someone that I’m either not interested in or doesn’t respond, tinder is 0, and hinge is same thing with maybe 1-3 max but either them ending up not responding or the matches drying up.

I have decided to make it as authentic as possible and if someone swipes left because of not understanding something then I wouldn’t want to be with them.

I am looking for a long term partner, not a friend. They do not have to share all of my interests. If anything it’s better if we don’t so we can introduce each other to new things and different perspectives.

I am also neurodivergent and I want to be upfront about it but I know it’s going to be something else that limits me so I didn’t put it.

I am in the southern tier of upstate NY for location reference.

Does anyone else have this happen to them? I got three matches today. However, I received zero response to my openers. To be clear, my openers were nothing weird or crazy-- literally, "how are you today?" "How is your day going?" "Who is your favorite poet?" "What do you like to do for fun?"

Not the first time this has happened... anyone know why someone would match and then not want to respond?

I've also included a bunch of other photos that I could use in my profile instead. I'm a 37 year old man living in England.

I posted on here a few months ago about improving my photos, and I look way way better now (definitely realise I still have a ways to go though, really just starting out). Don't have enough of em to form a profile or anything, but just wanted to share a couple of photos (won't be using the second one, just a good example of how I look now) and say wow I think the advice about changing my hair situation really worked just for my personal life, even being flirted with in minor amounts now, and I feel a lot better. thanks to everyone!

(also, yes, I did have to censor the statues bc reddit filters)

i wanna start this off by saying that i am fully aware that both genders can do this, it’s just that this has happened to me way more with men than women and i’m frustrated (i’m bisexual).
why do men on dating apps claim that they’re looking for a serious commitment and literally love bomb you until they get in your pants and then they ghost you? i know i kinda answered my own question here but it recently happened to me again with a guy that seemed extremely genuine, we were dating for a few months and even went on, in his words, “couple vacations” together so it seemed kinda serious. he used to jokingly say he would never ghost me but then out of nowhere did. it rubs me the wrong way because it was so abrupt and we both seemed pretty serious about the connection

Rant: Whomever is in charge of UI at Bumble shouldn't be. A year or two ago they released an update where the font was way too small/light, they adjusted it enough where it was ok but not great, now they are varying weights of fonts to show differences (very little utility for a much more chaotic interface). Amazing a $400+ million dollar company doesn't have designers who understand typography and UI design.

Rant over.

Try not to use an opening line that would be inappropriate to say to a stranger that you just met in person. Ask yourself would most woman be ok with me coming up to her and saying this. For example, saying I would like to kiss you all over your body probably isn’t going to work so well in person as an opening line, so it’s safe to assume it won’t work online either. I think most men know this, but I think there are some well-intended guys out there who just don’t know this.

I’m 28 and feel like I should try to start dating but I know I’m a SUPER late bloomer. But I’ve had people tell me I shouldn’t use the dating apps if I’ve never dated before and I should try to meet a guy irl instead. I’m not even sure why.

What do yall think? Would you find it weird to come across somebody with no experience?

(Chat GPT modified bc my story structure sucks!)

Four months ago, I matched with a guy on Bumble while using Travel Mode for a trip to a major U.S. city. We couldn’t meet because he was out of the country, but he gave me some great recommendations and followed up afterward. We exchanged occasional texts for about two months, until I became busy with traveling and other crushes and let the conversation die.

Last week, I spontaneously visited his city again and reached out. He happened to be in town. He seems extremely busy with work and his businesses, but he said he would make it work, so we finally met.

He picked me up in one of his supercars. I’d been in Rolls-Royces and Bentleys before, but never one of those extremely low sports cars, so it was honestly pretty cool. He was tall and broad, exactly my physical type.

He took me to a decent restaurant. He had originally planned something nicer, but I changed the date and time twice because of my schedule, so I couldn’t complain.

During dinner, I became very attracted to him intellectually. He is well-traveled, hardworking, confident, and passionate about his businesses. We could speak naturally because I understood the business models he was describing (I work in M&A). I found his intelligence and decisiveness extremely attractive. At the same time, he seemed kind and had a thoughtful philosophy about how he treats people.

At one point, I asked him about the most difficult thing he had ever encountered. He joked that it was dating.

After dinner, we went t**o** a bar. He held my hand and guided me through traffic and crowds, which made me feel protected. Between that, the intellectual chemistry, and the physical attraction, I was already very drawn to him.

When we were leaving for another bar, I asked him to carry my bag. He took it and joked that carrying it would make him “look gay,” so it would come at a cost. Then he kissed me.

I completely melted.

We went to three more bars and made out multiple times. With the alcohol and the mood, everything became incredibly passionate and intense. He kissed my lips and neck, lifted me up, and carried me down some stairs and even along the street.
However, he repeatedly tried to convince me to spend the night with him. He suggested coming to my hotel or getting another hotel because he had a long drive home. I don’t sleep with men unless I’m in a relationship, and I told him that clearly.
He kept insisting that he wouldn’t try anything, that we could simply watch a movie and sleep beside each other. I didn’t believe him.

Throughout the night, he also opened up to me. He said he didn’t come from money, his parents separated when he was young, and his mother worked extremely hard to send him to private schools. He said he loves her, supports her financially, and sends her flowers every week. He told me he wants a wife and a lot of children. He also said he feels that Asian women like me tend to share his family values, which is part of why he likes me.
Still, I wasn’t buying the “we’ll just sleep” story.
He pointed out that I had disappeared for months and said he wanted to “squeeze every minute” out of that night because otherwise I might disappear again for another four months.

We eventually ended up at a hotel near mine. He had taken my hotel key card and told me I could leave after “putting him to sleep.” We cuddled, and he said he liked me a lot. He told me I was “his now,” joked that next time he would “make my belly big next time we meet” and asked where I wanted our wedding to be.
We were both drunk, but I was sober enough to maintain my boundaries. He tried to go down on me several times, and I stopped him. I told him that if he respected me, he needed to stop. To his credit, he did stop after that.

We fell asleep beside each other. A couple of hours later, I woke up, covered him with the duvet, and quietly left.

The next morning, he left early for work in another state. I still don’t understand how he managed to wake up that early after so many drinks. He texted me, and we realized that he had helped me with my jacket during the date, put it in his car, and we had both forgotten to retrieve it.

It has now been a few days. I still feel an intense intellectual and physical attraction to him, and I can’t stop thinking about the kisses and everything that happened in bed without actually turning into sex.
We have exchanged only a few texts since then. He is already traveling internationally again for work, and I’m back in my city preparing for another trip.
My irrational side keeps fantasizing about him. My rational side says this chaotic businessman is a giant walking red flag: reckless driving, repeatedly trying to get me into bed after I stated my boundary, possessive comments, and talking about marriage and pregnancy on the first date.

He says he’ll keep my jacket safe and return it to me.
Unfortunately, I now have a huge crush on this chaotic, intense man. What would you do? Is there any realistic way to explore this safely, or should I treat it as one wild night, get my jacket back, and move on?

**TL;DR:** After texting occasionally for four months, I finally met a very successful, intense, and attractive businessman. We had incredible intellectual and physical chemistry, bar-hopped, made out all night, and slept beside each other without having sex. He respected my boundary eventually, but only after repeatedly trying to persuade me to sleep with him. He also made possessive comments and talked about marriage and getting me pregnant on our first date. Now I can’t stop thinking about him, even though my rational side says he’s a walking red flag.

I have my preferences set to Don't have kids, Don't want kids. But I keep getting suggested people who either have one or both of those, sometimes it's like over two thirds of my suggestions.

It says right there in the app that those suggestions are based on my profile, but that simply isn't true then. Does anyone know how this works?

You'd think that yes/no to children would be a non-negotiable selection criterium!

*Edit: I have premium

https://indianexpress.com/article/long-reads/are-you-compatible-the-new-rules-of-dating-come-with-political-filters-and-a-catch-10858049/

​

- “No drama” → Has 5 dramatic exes.

- "6'1" → "No body measures with barefoot"

- "Looking for something serious" → "So, my place or yours?"

- “Dog parent” → Family dog that lives with parents.

- “Deep conversations” → “Wyd”

- “Great communicator” → “Haha yeah.” 5 hrs later

- “Love travelling” → Went to Japan once in 2024.

- “Adventurous” → Orders something different from the usual.

- “Gym” → Has a gym membership, goes 4 times a year.

- “Foodie” → Likes burgers.

- “Love trying new restaurants” → Orders a burger everywhere.

- "Love hiking → "I know one trail"

- “I cook” → Owns an air fryer.

-"I don't drink → "Just really like pubs "

- “Entrepreneur” → has a side hustle that made $50 last year

- “Financially stable” → Has a job and a credit card.

- “Spontaneous” → “You free tonight?”

- “Better in person” → Can’t hold a conversation on apps

- “Good with my hands” → Owns a drill.

- “I don’t take myself seriously” → Takes 4 hours choosing a profile photo.

- “Looking for something serious” → Hasn’t deleted Tinder.

- “I’m emotionally mature” → “My ex was crazy.”

- “Looking for my person” → Also has 8 dating apps.

- “I’m loyal” → "I still follow my ex, but that means nothing"

- “I don’t care what people think” → Rewrites the bio 11 times.

- “I don’t take dating apps seriously” → Checks the apps every 7 minutes.

- “Act of service” → Will assemble IKEA furniture without being asked.

- “I have my life together” → Has 4 loads of laundry on the floor.

- “Minimalist” → Only owns 10 pairs of sneakers.

- “Healthy lifestyle” → Protein shake + family sized bag of chips.

- “I’m a nerd” → I am, in fact, a nerd.

- “Fluent in sarcasm” → Says something rude

- “I hate dating apps” → Has been on them for 5 years.

- “I’ll make you laugh” → Sends memes.

- “Easygoing” → Has strong opinions about how the dishwasher should be loaded.

Hello.

I never had a relationship before. I am looking for something serious. I installed bumble 3 months ago, still not a single like. I liked as much as I can, but it seems something is heavily wrong...

am I just below average or something?

translation:

most people don't know that I'm autistic (Asperger's). I come with my own quirks and I've heard I can be funny, too 🤔

My best travel story:

Planning a spontaneous trip based on the best weather. It had to be absolutely perfect--cloudless skies and constant sunshine. Heaven help us if even a single cloud appeared 🫠

Instead of drinks, let's have some chamomile tea and deep conversations instead

My Bio:

Hey there,

I'm a peaceful person; I enjoy gaming and going to the gym.

I'm a mix of introvert and extrovert--I'm good at talking, but sometimes I'm also a very quiet guy 🤫

about me:

172 cm, often in gym, vocational school qualification, i dont drink nor smoke cigarettes nor weed, i am a man who dont want children, isnt interested in politics.

my interests:

Writing, gym, gaming, cats, coffee

Thanks for reading through this and giving me some advice✌️

For reference, graduate degree, tall, professional, left wing, very fit, open to short and long term.

i’m 32 and i’ve been on bumble for a while. i’m looking for something serious.

lately i’ve had a few dates where things got physical pretty quickly. i wasn’t comfortable with that, and when i said no, they got angry. one of them even said some pretty insulting things to me.

it honestly made me wonder if i should try meeting people a different way.

i’ve never really thought about matchmaking before, but i’ve started looking into it lately. i’m still not sure if it’s actually worth paying for

for anyone who’s tried it, did it actually feel different from bumble?

Hey guys, I need some outside opinions because this has actually upset me more than I expected, and I’m usually pretty thick-skinned with this stuff

I matched with this guy on bumble while he was abroad for work. We spoke constantly for a month..texts, calls, FaceTime, then he randomly ghosted me for a month and came back saying he’d been seeing someone else.

A few weeks later he messaged again saying it had ended with her and he wanted to see where things went with me. I gave him another chance. I asked him plenty of times to MEET up but he never was free. That’s okay, it’s life.

We were meant to meet today, but I realised I already had an expensive booking with a friend that I’d forgotten about. I told him straight away and offered to rearrange. We spoke on the phone and agreed to meet this weekend instead. He said it was fine. He didn’t even leave his home town, btw so he did not make the drive to London.

Hours later he suddenly messaged saying we should “call it quits” because he couldn’t see us meeting after today.

I get that cancelling on the day is annoying, especially as he was driving to see me, but considering I gave him grace after literally ghosting me for another woman, his reaction feels wildly disproportionate.
Who’s actually in the wrong here?

EDIT: An hour later, I called him. Apologised sincerely and had rearranged to see him this Friday - he accepted my apology and said he’s excited to see me. We left it at that. Few hours later, he sends me that message.

This is inspired by another post where a man was complaining about "boring" women. Women who all have the same hobbies and are uninteresting. The comments seemed like modern men want unique unicorns with interesting hobbies who can constantly entertain him. Then these men wonder why they can't find a successful long-term relationship. You think a woman like that is going to want to settle down?

You are constantly chasing excitement and it is ruining your chances of a LTR. Hate yo say it, but your fantasy woman you hold up on a pedestal and your future, healthy, caring wife who will actually be there through thick and thin are probably not the same woman.

My advice. Pick the boring, nice girl with good values and stop chasing novelty and excitement. It's what our grandfathers did and that seemed to work out for them.

This goes for women, too. I have started a relationship with a "boring" farmer. On the outside, women would probably brush him off because he really does come off as uninteresting. His life is taking care of the farm, he rarely leaves it. Now that I've gotten to know him, I realize how interesting he actually is. No, he's not travelling the world, out partying, hitting the gym, skydiving, having the most interesting hobbies or good stories to tell me. But hey, we have quite deep talks while stargazing on the bed of his pickup and I realize there are many levels to that "boring" or "one dimensional" personality as others would say. Stop chasing excitement or don't, but don't whine that you can't find anyone.

I have looked for some examples of what just happened to me but haven’t found one.

I connected with someone who seemed quite genuine, almost earnest in their correspondence. Extremely respectful and curious. I’m in an older category of dating…people are a bit more mature, usually.

The coffee date turned into a 4 hour date with walks and a museum. The next day he sent me this message. I responded in kind and said I’d really like to see him again. Then nothing. After a few days, I followed with a casual check-in as I need to travel for work this week and asked how he felt about seeing one another again. Nothing again.

I unmatched after a week from his last message but, it was so unexpected and confusing. I wish he hadn’t written that very nice, almost vulnerable message to then ghost me. Why do that?

Edit: for context, I’m a native English speaker living in Zurich. My match isn’t a native English speaker, hence the somewhat formal language. I’m used to it but can see why it sounds odd.

That was 5 messages in. I knew what he meant from the start, I just wanted to troll him a little 😌