I need advice regarding my niece's adoption and concerns about DCF favoritism/discrimination
This is a long and complicated situation, so I'll try to explain it as clearly as possible.
My older sister (37F) has four children by four different fathers. Unfortunately, she has struggled with drugs and instability for most of her adult life. Two of her children were removed from her custody approximately 15 years ago. One was placed with their biological father, and the other was adopted through the foster care system.
She later had two daughters, who I'll call Puyi (13F) and Kimi (12F).
When Puyi was younger, my sister was using drugs with Puyi's biological father. Puyi developed some mental and health issues during that time. Eventually, my sister left him and later became involved with Kimi's father. For several years, it appeared that they had gotten their lives together.
About seven years later, both my sister and Kimi's father began using drugs again. Law enforcement became involved, and my husband and I were given temporary custody of both girls for approximately two months.
At the time, we informed DCF that we could not provide permanent placement because we were scheduled to move out of Kansas within four months. The girls were eventually returned to their parents.
Afterward, Kimi's father went to prison, and my sister fled with the girls. She traveled with them through Texas and Florida before eventually returning to Kansas. At one point, she left the girls with Puyi's paternal grandparents, who cared for them for approximately four months before my sister returned.
DCF eventually became involved again and placed both girls with Puyi's paternal grandparents. They have remained there for the last four years.
Since then:
Kimi's father remains incarcerated and has voluntarily terminated his parental rights.
My sister has lost her parental rights to both girls.
Puyi's father has regained custody of Puyi.
Kimi is now eligible for adoption.
My concern is that I feel like DCF has treated members of my family differently than other foster families.
My younger sister, "Alice" (29F), is a licensed foster parent. She previously cared for both girls for approximately six months before they were returned to Puyi's grandparents. The caseworker told Alice that she did not have sufficient resources to care for the girls long-term.
However, Alice has other long-term foster placements, and those children's caseworkers have told her that her home and resources are completely adequate. I don't understand how she can be considered capable of caring for other children but not considered capable of adopting or permanently caring for her own nieces.
My husband and I also decided to move back to Kansas when we learned that Kimi might become eligible for adoption. Unfortunately, the timing was terrible. I found out I was pregnant while we were preparing to move from Washington State to Kansas, and I lost my job during that transition. We've had an extremely difficult year financially.
We have since completed the background checks, fingerprints, and health assessments required for adoption. We were told that we passed "with reservations" because my husband has a juvenile criminal record and our income is currently low.
Since then, the caseworkers have largely stopped returning our calls.
What concerns me even more is that they appear to be encouraging Puyi's paternal grandparents to adopt or permanently keep Kimi. The grandparents have said themselves that they are getting older and did not expect to be raising children again. They are both in their late seventies.
I want to be clear: I am not saying the grandparents are bad people. They have cared for my nieces for years, and I am incredibly grateful for what they have done. But Kimi is 12 years old, and I worry about what happens as they continue aging. My husband and I are younger and genuinely want to raise her as part of our family.
Financially, things would be tight for us, but we are willing and able to make it work. We already have children and understand what raising a child requires. Most importantly, Kimi is my niece, and I love her.
At this point, I don't know what to do because DCF/caseworkers are barely communicating with us.
My questions are:
Does our family relationship to Kimi give us any preference or rights when she is being considered for adoption?
Can DCF reject a relative placement primarily because of income, even if the home otherwise passes background checks and assessments?
Does my husband's juvenile criminal history permanently disqualify us, or is that evaluated individually?
Is it normal for different caseworkers to give conflicting assessments of a foster parent's resources?
What can we do if the caseworkers stop communicating with us?
Should we contact a supervisor, attorney, guardian ad litem, CASA, or someone else?
I understand that DCF's priority should be what is best for Kimi, and I agree with that completely. I'm not asking for special treatment simply because I'm family. I just want to understand whether we're actually being fairly considered as a potential placement.
Any advice from foster parents, social workers, attorneys, or people who have dealt with kinship adoption would be greatly appreciated.