r/CPS • u/RoutineEquivalent588 • 3h ago
Rant Long post*** I am about to go into the office and raise hell. I will sit there all day until I speak with a supervisor, and then their supervisor, and then their supervisor.
I HATE THIS SYSTEM. Ohio CPS is a literal joke. I have a whole book I am ready to type and honestly I really need to let it out somewhere, because I am feeling nothing but rage, hatred towards the system and myself, and I feel defeated. I can’t give up, but I feel like I’m against a pack of wolves at this point, and I am crumbling. I struggle heavy with my mental health lately. I’m glad I’m getting IOP, as I have a lot of trauma, but this sh*t is too heavy, man.
For starters and disclaimer, I DID take a supplement for my sciatica that was marketing all natural. Unfortunately, my dumbass took something that wasn’t FDA approved (I told my doctor what I was taking- it was marketed as all natural cats claw and helps with nerve pain and such). Fuck. It had kratom in it. I didn’t even know what the hell kratom was. Baby was born with it in his system. He had withdrawals. It was horrible to see, and he still has a little bit of effects. I feel terrible. The withdrawals were almost unbearable for me, so watching my premie go through it makes me want to vomit typing this. I take full accountability for my choice and I thank god/the universe, whatever, that he is doing okay.
I’m seperated from my home and it’s been a long 45 something days. Couch surfing, trying to find work while doing random drug screens, intensive outpatient for my mental health (I had an acute and sudden suicide attempt in the beginning of this because it started off as hell right off rip. I thought my life was over and I lost my family forever). So I’m actually happy about the IOP. I need it. Also trying to balance my four hour daily visits, scheduling them with a third party (family/friends), when we don’t have much support. So many other hoops, and my husband is about to lose his job of 10 years because he gets up at 4 am for work. No daycare would be open. This is a nightmare and I feel lost.
My caseworker was biased. She demanded I get one hour visits once a week. My attorney pulled through, and I got four hour visits daily right off rip. My husband had kinship rights of my daughter, and has my son at home.
My two older kids that I share with my abusive ex, that I have an out of state DV CPO against (he lives in FL), were sent to him. Our parenting plan was over ridden by CPS, and they handed off my kids to this man, whom has a past with cocaine and other drug use. He was so happy this happened to me, and has been harassing me on our court ordered parenting app. The night before the exchange, he was sending erratic texts at 3-4 am saying just off the wall stuff. My husband and I emailed the biased intake worker about our concerns and her reply was “he’s just tired, the man works a lot.” He wasn’t swabbed, no questions asked, just forced us to hand him my two older kids. My two year old (3rd child) is biologically his, and he won’t claim her because she was conceived by abuse, and he had a GF at the time that is now his fiancée. This was at the start of all of this at the end of July.
Moving forward and making this post shorter…. My mother, whom is an alcoholic, abusive as hell, and my brother and I were taken by CPS when I was a junior in highschool and we went and lived with my father. We had a DV CPO against her and she wasn’t able to see us at all for a year, and then finally we were forced to see her at a visitation center. This woman quite literally ruined my life and traumatized me in ways I don’t want to share. This includes me always being her target, I had my door knob switched so the lock was on the outside. One time she locked me in my room when I got home from school on a Friday, wouldn’t let me out until school on Monday. I had to pee and poop in my trash can and I got my ass handed to me for that, too. She knew that my uncle was SA’ing me between the age of 5 years old to 9 years old, and gaslit me my whole life saying it was actually my father. I didn’t start recalling memories until I got flashbacks when I was 15/16.
In 2024, she was arrested for assaulting me while drunk in front of all of my children. My brother lives with her, and they both battered me in front of my kids. Somehow, because she has more money than god, she got it expunged. As did my bother.
Fast forward, my mother accused my husband of doing kratom. Wtf. wtf. WTF. They took my two year old from him, and asked him to go for a hair follicle test. He abided and went, and he wasn’t in their system, so he left. They took this as a PRESUMED POSITIVE. This was effing ADMIN error. He goes back, they still can’t find him in the system, but eventually did. The agency spelled his name wrong. He did his test, everything came back clean, but the agency forgot to order a KRATOM test. The lab had a sample of his hair still, and we are waiting on the results. It’s been over a week since my toddler was put into temporary foster care.
Yesterday I had my hearing to get another CPO against my mother. I didn’t have great admissible evidence, and was pro se. I had arrest records and my old CPO as a child. I wasn’t prepared, I didn’t know how to supeona (spelling?) witnesses or videos. I walked into the court with shit ass evidence. I couldn’t afford my attorney. I looked at the list of people signing in, I saw my mother, brother, two of her attorneys, MY INTAKE CASE WORKER, and another CPS person. Maybe a lawyer? Idk. I walked out of the courthouse hyperventilating and didn’t do my hearing. I would have walked into a pack of wolves waiting to swallow me up. I went to the clerk and I’m gonna try and get another hearing when I can hire an attorney. I wish I went in anyway. I got scared, had a panic attack, and left. I’m stupid.
TODAY. Oh my god today. I get a phone call at almost 5 pm from my newbie, young case worker that had some news for me. My MOTHER is my two year olds temporary kinship care taker. I am at a loss of words still. It doesn’t feel real. How? My intake worker specifically did research after we told her about my mother’s history in the beginning of this, and she advised we call the police if she comes anywhere near the kids. She has my daughter. I am raising hell. I was numb all day. I need advice maybe, or maybe I just needed to type a book. Maybe someone will read this. Idk. I’m not okay. This doesn’t feel real. Everyone’s roaring, and I have sat and stared at the wall all day. I’m so tired. 3/4 of my children are with my two abusers. I feel like I’ve lost. My mother has the money, my abusive ex has money. We’re fucked and rent is due. Idk. If anyone has anything to say, amazing. Even if it’s harsh. I have thick skin, but man, this is… this is the hardest battle I’ve ever faced. How the fuck am I gonna get through this? I want to roar with the rest of my family and friends blowing up the supervisors (I’ve emailed as well), but I’m tired. I’m gonna try and sleep and hopefully tomorrow I’m ready to fight again and sit in that office until I speak to absolutely everyone and bring in all my evidence I have. I fucking hate this agency. Sorry I’m done.