I'm so done with it all. It's all bullshit. Everything.

I'm done with landlords that take thousands of € a year and do nothing for it. They don't even fix the leaking pipes or make sure there's 24/7 warm water.

I'm done with bullshit work that accomplishes nothing. Wasting 1000+ hours a year staring at excel and outlook. And babysitting grown adults who are too stupid to plug in a keyboard. And superiors who's only occupation is to make more pointless work.

I'm done with the internet. Full of ads, slop, walled gardens, astroturfing AI bots, subscription models, and grifters. And a hundred million toxic idiots who've got nothing better to do with the gift that is life than spread hate and vitriol everywhere they go.

I'm done with living in a society that demands that I forever sacrifice my whole life without giving me anything in return. Not even the bare essentials. A society that only barely allows minorities like me to exist peacefully.

I'm done trying to save nature while there are a billion humans who are hellbent on cutting down every tree, mining every m² of profitable dirt, burning up all the oil they can get their grubby hands on, burying every meadow under asphalt, and drowning out the stars with a trillion bright blue LEDs.

I'm done caring for people who silently resent me and drop me as soon as it is convenient for them.

I'm done with an entertainment industry that is so godawful at their one job that it's less frustrating to stare at a wall and go to bed early. Can't even game all day or binge movies nowadays.

I'm done paying hundreds of € a month on social services that don't provide anything. I can't even get a damn flu vaccine without a waiting list and copays. I've been sick for years and I've got zero actual help from anywhere in the social system. I could finance a damn house credit from my social fees and I don't even get an appointment despite having a referral.

I'm tired of being chronically ill in a society that despises me for it. That always sees me as less-than. That always frames me as unworthy. That always frames me like my existence is a burden that should not be there. That always treats me like scum for something that I couldn't choose and can't control.

I'm done buying shit because every damn thing is sold half-broken. The amount of things I've had to return because they were completely broken in original packaging in the last 3 years... The amount of things that break down in no time despite the most careful usage that's possible.

I'm done pursuing sciences and knowledge if 99% of humans out there completely refuse to reflect upon themselves, question their behaviour, and do the bare f***ing minimum to improve on anything whatsoever. It's better talking to a wall or screaming into the forest, because my walls and trees don't believe in conspiracy theories. And I'm equally done with all these religious zealots who want to take us back to 1600.

I'm done suffering the consequences of mistakes that were committed by people 50 years before I was even born. I'm done making up for the societal problems that others have caused and refuse to fix themselves.

I'm done having my already mediocre days ruined by some idiot who believes they're entitled to make their problem my problem and use me as a cushion for their lack of emotional maturity.

I'm so tired of it all. I want to disappear into a cave and never come out.

Are you saving because you expect the economy to get worse, or are you spending while your money still has some value?

Personally, I spend every extra cent on stockpiling food while it’s still relatively affordable, and on time with friends while we still can. I barely save anymore because I think my savings will lose most of their value over the next few years.

What are you doing?

I've been having a lot of dreams lately about the Tech Bros and their ilk. Peter Thiel is a frequent, recurring figure. In my dreams I'm brought before him and made to answer for the sins of empathy and for my lack of productivity and hubris at having deigned to waste any of his planet's precious resources on such idiocy. He then shoots me, or if it's a particularly grim dream, tortures me to death.

I think my body is telling me that they've won and it's only a matter of time until I'm eradicated by them in the last desperate days of the planet. I just give up. It's hard to care any more.

Protest sign from last year. With regards to the previous post.

Also, if a mod sees this, why are videos allowed as comments but not photos? (curious inquiry)

I am linking this author's post. I have no affiliation, not even a subscription, lol. But i do read her stuff. She is very much not for everyone. I want to preface this with... I am familiar with some communes, i grew up with an associated organization my parents helped create that used co-operative decision making (think kind of a business, not religious) and i have for some time now, lived with around 10 people in my home (extended family, family eatranged from other family). If you ask me who i am i am a total recluse and not at all social. Mostly because i dislike peoples ego games. She addresses a point and i cannot make so well myself. It is worth a ponder. It is why i tell people they have to look on the mirror first. Why i say you have to clean up your own stuff/issues/etc. why? Because what ahe is talking about is what i have watched for years in community after community and they attempt to work on different mechanisms of power to solve the problem. They call them 'structures' or 'decision making methods'. But they are just mechanisms of power. https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c2e074nn8eko

I am finally being medicated and honestly the only thing it’s doing is making me less sad. Which is good but no pill can mask the pointlessness.

Nothing is fulfilling. I could easily be replaced with AI. I will never get a job with people because everyone is just so tribal. I hate tribes. All of them. I hate them more and more. We should destroy all of them. Destroy teams, destroy countries, destroy families. Treat everyone the same.

I could never get a job with animals. I hate them too. I hate nature. It’s an engine of suffering filled with beings far worse than us. I do not understand anyone who likes animals more than people. They are not innocent, they cause harm. They would consume endlessly like us. We feel remorse, they don’t. Why are we worse? Any animal would eat you if they could.

What I wanted more than anything was to make something lasting. To have my name remembered alongside the likes of Graham Bell, Curie, people who changed the world. Turns out I am not smart enough despite everyone in my childhood claiming I was. Now all my contributions are meaningless.

Now I have to choose a “community”. Just another team. Another arbitrary group I am supposed to like more than others. What if I am wrong? What if it’s all a trap? What if I pick the wrong one and in the end I will be mocked and punished for it? What is the right one? I don’t want to choose an answer, I want to be told the right one or at least given the means to know it. And I mean KNOW it? Not think it.

The collapse will wipe away everything meaningful. What’s the point? Just to not die?