Random question, but if you drink, what’s your absolute favourite? Like your go-to when you’re relaxing at the end of the day?

I wanna try something new and I’ve been getting into whiskey lately, so I’d really love some recommendations!

Ever since mom passed away, I feel like I might as well be an orphan. It's just you and me in the house now, dad, but it's like you're my roommate. I've never been able to go to you for my problems. You'd laugh when I cried as a kid, and you ignored my tears when my sisters would bully me.

Whenever I leave for a month abroad, it doesn't cross your mind to call me or text me. It's difficult, because you are not a bad person. You just don't care. I don't know if that makes it worse. There's just nothing there. Indifference.

I wish you were a dad who would do activities with me as a kid. Who would teach me things, life lessons. Who would hug me, comfort me when I was sad, made me feel safe. Protected me from my sisters.

I always feel this emptiness and longing for a dad I never had. Will this ever go away?

If there's a next life, my biggest wish for it would be to have a loving dad.

I am in a new relationship and things have progressed fairly quickly, but also don't feel rushed. I met his mom last week and it seemed to go pleasantly. He texted the following day saying "my mom said you were nice and not very shy", so I guess that's good? 😂 Well anyway, this week I am meeting his dad and little sister.

Anyway, I'm 28 and as embarrassing as it is, I've never really been in a relationship before. My last "relationship" was a 6-year-long situationship (I thought we were dating for the first two years, supposedly he didn't. By that point I had feelings and decided to stay). Anyway, needless to say, I've never met the parents before (minus meeting his mom last week)

I am just feeling really anxious, it's not that I don't want to meet his dad or that I think it's rushed or anything, I just... I don't know. I've never done this before. I don't know what to wear or how to act, I brought his mom flowers in a vase last week, and I'm thinking about bringing flowers for his sister because she will be cooking, but what do I bring his dad? What's the dad equivalent of that? I think he's mentioned like that his dad does drink sometimes but I don't think it's like nice wine or like a nice liquor where you can bring that as a gift. So I'm just really not sure. Also I jokingly said that I was going to be looking up the dad equivalent of bringing flowers and he didn't really suggest anything so I don't want to harp on it again and ask him what to bring.

Anyway, yeah I'm just anxious haha and I didn't have a dad in my life so interactions with other people's dads are always unfamiliar to me

Hey it's been a couple years since you passed and I know things weren't great when you did, but my wife and I just bought our house! Like we own it and all I want to do is invite you over for a beer and some BBQ and it's killing me. I love you so much dad. I'll probably remove this later but I needed to get this out

Another season has started and United still don’t look too great, it’s not the same without you or bampy moaning about how good we used to be. It’s just another reminder that life keeps moving without you. I wonder what you’d think Carrick in charge, you always loved him as a player.

It’s getting dark earlier and it’s been cold the last few nights. Wet for like a week. Winter used to suck so bad growing up, you never used to pay for the heating but you always had your rum. Mum sorted herself out and keeps it on now.

We got our surfboards back finally. I remember you telling me that it was the only place you really felt at peace. It’s still a special place for me too, I really want to go back soon, I’ll take your ashes I promise. It’s hard enough leaving the house as it is.

I heard a lyric the other day in a song by the Growlers. The whole song made me cry to be honest. It’s all about divorce and staying together for the kid. The lyric goes:

“You were the reason they stuck around
But you're old enough now
Don't worry babe
Not 'till you've been there too
Will your world be less cruel”

And it just broke me. I’ve loved and lost now. I don’t know what you and mum had, but I know you were only human and it’s so hard to make things work. I know you tried.

I still wonder if you were sorry for what you did to me. Not sorry enough to admit it, that’s for sure. Maybe not strong enough. I wish you’d been awful to me alongside it, at least then I could hate you simply. Did you ever think about how hard you might make my life? What I’d have to grow to understand and accept? You must have seen some of what it did to me. In my mind it’s part of why you couldn’t stop drinking. Couldn’t get your life together. You knew what it would mean facing.

Instead of ever knowing or ever getting real closure I’ll be left to speculate forever. Did you really have to die like that? Really? We were so close to something healthier.

I often wonder what was on your mind in those last moments. You called nanny instead of me or anyone else. You couldn’t even stand up. I hate to imagine you scared and alone. I hate to imagine you had the faintest idea of what was coming. I still don’t know if you actually tried to call me or if I imagined it. Maybe it’s better that way.

I’ve made a new friend, her dad is awful, too. She can’t pull herself away either. In a way I hate it and in a way I’ve never felt so seen.

Anyway. My degree is going really well. I found so much of my art in your things. Most of them had gone mouldy so I just keep it all in a bag.

I wish I knew what to say, what I even want from you. I suppose I want it all. I want one last 4 hour phone call where you make me laugh and wind me up. I want you to send me more puzzles and tell me how much faster I get them than you. That I didn’t get my brains from mum.

I miss you so much, despite it all, I wonder where we’d be now

Hey dad, tommorow is my first day off school after summerbreak. I'm 13, going to the 3e klas (i think thats 9th grade). I'm so stressed. I'm ugly, i'm stupid and now i have school again. I get bullied alot, and i'm scared its gonna happen again. I dont know what to do anymore, i genuinely thought about, well, suicide, just so i dont have to go to school. What do i do? Do i just pretend to enjoy school? Should i skip? I feel like i'm wasting my life. I want to be a teen, enjoy everything like i should. But noooo, school just has to ruin that for me. I hate it.

(Sorry for my bad English, its not my first language)

My bio dad said something hurtful and I wasn’t angry, I didn’t lash out. I realized for the first time in my life his words don’t hold any power over me. I don’t feel guilty or ashamed. I was muting myself on the phone to laugh at the absurdity of it all with my husband.
I’m no longer scared of losing the conditional love, I’ve learned through chosen family what he says isn’t true. I’m not hard to love, I’m not a disappointment, my husband won’t leave me, and I’m just as pretty to my husband if I’m twenty pounds heavier or not.

I live across the country and very rarely communicate with him. Having a child of my own made me realize the kind of parent who can say those things their child isn’t one worth keeping around. I’ve mourned the loss of relationship and found happiness where I am and who I’m with. Somehow him saying something horrible made me happy because years ago I’d have been second guessing, apologizing and trying to fix it.
I’m finally moving on and I’m just so happy.

For background I had a really rough start to my 20s - I spent a lot of it in survival mode without family guidance for stuff like this. Things have thankfully stabilized a lot for me since then, so I’m picking up the pieces and taking care of all the stuff that I didn’t take care of over the years, starting with old body damage to my car… I think the passage of time since the accidents has complicated things, and I need guidance on how best to tackle this.

To start, there’s cosmetic body damage from two separate accidents. The first was when I was rear ended in 2021. I was found not at fault, and I remember being in contact with the at fault driver’s insurance company. I’m pretty sure they just told me to go find a shop that partnered with their company, but I’m having a hard time remembering anything else. I’m wondering if it’s a lost cause to get them to cover anything now, due to statute of limitations..

The second was about a year later (I sideswiped an idling bus) and I was at fault. Filed a claim with my insurance, and they issued a claim payment. I went to a shop to get an estimate, but due to the rear end damage being a separate claim with another company, they advised me to get that fixed first.

We’re here now, so obviously I didn’t… But not here to make excuses for my past self, just looking to tackle it now! I guess I’m wondering where to start and feeling very lost/ignorant to how to handle this kind of thing. Should I expect to chalk the rear end claim up as a loss? What if the total damage ends up being more than the car is even worth? It’s a 2010 rav 4, and the payment for the sideswipe accident is around $2k. It still runs fine, just is very torn up cosmetically.

So, this post makes me come across as a destructive asshole. Idk, I do care deeply care about other people and I often sort of get depressed thinking of how I’ve treated people discussed.

Basically I think I have some form of (big) decision paralysis. Incident 1: I quit my job to pursue a masters degree overseas. It was something i felt firm on doing. However like two weeks before leaving I got cold feet, applied to a bunch of jobs, dragged me feet arriving, arrived two weeks late, was sort of wound really tight. Blew up at someone, left to come home after two weeks.

Incident 2: I am located in Texas. I applied to a teaching job in Austin (three or so hours from me). Interviewed accepted, always had a goal of moving to Austin. I even put down application fees for an apartment. Then sort of two weeks prior I accepted a job nearby, didn’t move. Sent a “sorry” email two days before Austin in service.

Incident 3: largely the same thing happened as 2 but for a school in Colorado but the embarrassing thing is that schools principal called my principal and my principal told me “errr you better tell them”.

All this was between 2023 and now, but I think a similar thing played out when I was choosing colleges to attend pre-covid. I had been accepted to some quite highly ranked colleges but drug my feeling that my options became quite limited. I feel like generally at the last minute in life i drag my feet last minute lol.

Anyways i can hold down a regular job (even #1 I fell on my feet however I lost career progression), but I am sort of sad and fulfilled all the time. And I sometimes wake up with cold sweats on how just unprofessional those above incidents were.

I have noticed that I try to do something: drinking vitamins, putting goals, checking on people, trying to work out. But I often spend a lot of money, I can be toxic to my partner when I’m angry or triggered, I check on people but im often silent and I also say “tomorrow”.

People call me “strong” but actually I’m weak. Some people says I’m too much rude and some people says I’m kind but I don’t believe at it. I have issues and I can’t live my life. My mother always gave me advices but I kinda feel that I need Dad advice.

I want to be a “man” (even if I’m not a male) or strong woman, or strong non-binary (I’m actually non-binary), like, someone who can be relied on, strong, caring, successful, with money.

I’m a failure, Dad, and I need some advice how to change it. I’m not satisfied with me acting like a kid despite being 21. I’m often very mature and extremely often very immature.

(31F, my Dad passed when I was 12 due to his mental health)

I'm going back to school to be a nurse in the springtime...I always said I would, when I had time to do something for myself. I'm really happy for the first time in so long.

I met someone a few years ago, we got married at the end of last year...He's really great and I just wish you could have been there, I wore a dress and everything (surprising I know, so here's a photo). He walked me down the aisle so that I didn't have to walk down by myself.

We've been planning to start a family. I have so many good things happening but they all make me miss you more (I didn't think that I could miss you more than I already do). I just hope that you're proud of me, I'm always trying my hardest. I'm still here.

Dear Father,

Guess what? I'm overwhelmed again after listening to a song. Years of pretending not to grieve still come with heavy waves; I'm trying to stay afloat. Do I see a shrink? Or try harder to be okay? It's been 11 years now since you passed away. I think the only good part about trying not to drown in this grief is not seeing you in dreams anymore. My reality has perhaps accepted your absence.

Finally, I moved out of the house to pursue my master's, and it is going to be a year now. I often talk to Mom on the phone, and with the distance, it is easy to keep up. I guess we were meant to be like this; no part of me wants more from us. My heart still wonders: if you knew me now, would you be proud? Would you stand me for making foolish decisions? Would you have suggested I be patient?

I see many friends talking about their favourite memories of their dads. I stay quiet and try to think hard because even the bad ones are my favourite now. Mom sent me your sweater, and I wear it often and tell everyone it's yours. A lot of battles to fight, a lot of roads to walk, a lot of goals to achieve; I think I'll always have to walk it alone.

I'm not weak, but how does one get over their father? The older I grow, the more I understand how Mom never got over her mother. Although death is fate, I think it's a tragedy. Sure, humankind is meant to suffer through a lot of losses; many have lost their daughters, sons, partners, brothers, sisters, grandparents, and they, too, never get over it. I do feel thier pain because you left me with yours, and this is my tragedy. You will always be my biggest loss.

Yours truly,
Messed up daughter

I wish i could have this moment with my dad. I wish i was close enough with him to pick out a song together. I wish i would feel safe and comfortable dancing with him. Ive decided to not have a father daughter dance. Hes going to be at my wedding but he wont be walking me down the aisle either. I remember in elementary school there was a father daughter dance. He refused to dance with me and someone elses mom offered to dance with me because she saw what happened. I was devastated and confused why he wouldnt dance with me but everyone elses dads were dancing with them. I remember going outside in the cold and sitting alone until he finally came out and asked why i was upset. I remember at his wedding to his now ex-wife. They announced a father daughter dance. My heart soared and i ran from where i was to where he was. He sat down and couldnt understand why i was crying. I didnt realize that only ment his wife and her dad. I thought we were going to dance too. All he has ever done was crush my hopes whenever i thought hed be a dad to me. I cant risk being let down again. What if he wouldnt dance with me at my wedding? I can bring myself to even ask. The little girl in my wishes we would. I cant open myself to the disappointment again. All i can feel is that he wouldnt dance with me again. Maybe thats not fair to him i never even told him about those moments but i only want to protect myself. Its not worth it

So. Im a highschool student (HS is ages 15-19 here), and tomorrow, i start my final year of highschool. I wish i could say im relieved because soon i wont have to deal with being bullied anymore, but im TERRIFIED.

i have so much work to do. I have 4 final exams i need to study for ALL YEAR LONG, and 2 major projects i need to make. It all has to be done before june, and it doesnt feel like enough time, especially considering i have 2-4 debate tournaments in the meantime and am a coach.

I want to go to law college. Which asks for good grades. Im so scared i wont make it.

I moved across the country to attend college and am currently here a week in advance with a pre-orientation program and I’m having a really hard time. I thought that I would be okay going to college so far because I know how to be independent. I’ve been away from my parents before but in those instances I’ve always been in an environment that is familiar and comfortable. It’s such a harsh adjustment, it feels like everyone here has already formed friendships and are comfortable away from their family (the majority only live an hour or two away). Growing up I’ve always found it really difficult to form friendships and be around people my own age, talking to people older than I was has just become more comfortable and easier to me, less judgment and pressure (sometimes). Before I would go to school surrounded by people my age and then I could back home to a safe space and decompress from everything, eat my own food, make a cup of tea whenever I wanted, lie down and pet my dog, drove anywhere. Here I can’t do that, I’m stuck in a dorm surround by people my own age, sharing a bathroom and everything. I get so overwhelmed somethings that everything feels too close and claustrophobic, I just cry and I get so panicky, I can’t calm down. Apologies for the poor grammar and ramblings, I just needed to talk to someone.

I'm the youngest in my family, and I have lived away from my parents in a different country for almost a decade. I left when I was 18, and I've built a really wonderful life here. Unfortunately, I am now feeling really exhausted most days due to the nature of my job and the bureaucracy my husband and I are dealing with to make my stay here more permanent. Some days I grieve a lot for how I could have had more guidance going through this stage in my life when I meet my friends' parents and my husband's if my parents were the kind of people who were willing to offer advice.

I acknowledge how very lucky I am and that moving for a better life was a personal choice. I do try to do my best to pay it forward. I'm always available as a support system for my brother back home. I also am working harder at checking in with my parents especially on their health as they get older, though I understand I could be doing more.

Questions I never used to have about life and my career are now resurfacing and I'm unsure how to cope as I've always known what to do next, because I had no choice, and I've had to help my parents think through things too. I was the child my parents don't have to worry about, but now I'm worried about me.

Any words of wisdom or advice?

I've been trying for 20 minutes now..

Hello dad, I don't know how supportive you actually are, but I'm a trans man. High school hasn't started here yet and this would be my first year out of the closet, and has someone who has been battling with depression for quite some time this has only heightened it.

However, recently I've been feeling better than ever. I'm still insanely worried about school, since I have a transphobic friend (I'm trying to pull away from her) and I'm not out to her yet, but I have a good support team (other friends and school members), so I'm trying to forget about that for now.

I've always liked working out but never managed to maintain a routine. But today I feel so good! I'm trying to start running and it was wonderful, I've been out for thirty minutes half-running half-walking but I feel way better. Also, I have also managed to maintain a workout routine for four days now, I feel like I'm really going to be able to stick to it. It makes me so happy!

Another thing I've been struggling with is hygiene... This is kinda embarrassing for me to say, but I've been brushing my teeth for four days straight too! And washing my face for two! This might sound gross, but I'm really proud of it. I've had many complications with acne and dental hygiene throughout my life, so this might be the healthiest I've felt in ages!

I've told my mom and sisters, but I haven't received much from them. I didn't expect much anyways, but a little compliment might have been nice because they know how much I've struggled with this.

I recently started dating a guy a couple years younger than me (I’m 22F) a couple weeks ago.

I noticed that while he plays his friends make odd comments about women and sometimes me in general. When we were talking (phase for 6 months) it was only an issue a couple times when we would hang out.

Today he was playing and I tried asking him something since I was leaving and friend 1 told me to “shut the fuck up” while friend2 told friend1 “just rape her”

He didn’t really comment on it or defend me (in a way a guy should at least in my brain or say ‘that’s not right’)

I decided to just leave and he didn’t bother saying bye to me, but he said bye to his friends. He’s currently playing with another friend and he hasn’t texted me much nor about the situation.

I’ve mentioned before that his friends seem to misguide him and that I wish he had friends that would help him improve. He got a bit defensive and said his friends are perfectly fine. Is this a phase?

I have friends that are my age and are respectful and would never say a comment like that about a women or tolerate it. I guess I’m just asking about what this could look like in the future, I plan to talk to him about it again when he’s not busy.

I’ve finally decided to buy my first car and I’ve managed to find a car I’d like to buy.
And this is all I’ve been able to do.

What do I need to know and do before I make the purchase?
How do I shop around for insurance?

Hey dad,

I'm starting my new job tomorrow after being fired 6 weeks ago, 1 week after I had surgery on my ankle. I'm finally mobile again after that surgery and I'm kind of scared to start this new job with all my health issues. But I deep cleaned my room and bathroom yesterday in attempt to start fresh with good energies. My last job was an absolute shit show that overworked me and undervalued me and I'm scared I'm going to get taken advantage of again. Can you send me some good vibes that this will work out?

Love you dad.

Reposted with the name removed! I just needed to brag a little bit. I always said I'd never go back to school, but here I am at 28 about to go to college! It's all online but still the biggest decision I've ever made in my life. I'm terrified, feel like I'm out of my depth and I don't know what I'm doing lol

Also, thank you to all the ones who suggested I blur my name! I was so excited I didn't even consider it, and thank you for the kind words

For context, I just moved into my first place (yay) but I don’t have $250 to throw around on a table. I rather buy 3 planks of wood from Home Depot and make myself a humble narrow table.

The issue is, I’m not sure what steps to take after buying the planks. How much should I sand the wood down? How do I know when to stop sanding it? What are other aspects I should consider before deciding to do this?

I don’t have many people in my life who I can shamefully ask these questions to, so I’d appreciate all the help I can get :,)