Late lunch/early dinner: plain whole baked potato with a lil vitamin D goo bc I just found out I'm significantly deficient lol

Immediate edit bc I forgot to proofread the title: title should have said "has" not "had". Whoops.

So I've [F28] been with my bf [M47] for just over a year, living together for most of that time. It was sudden, surprising and kinda impulsive, but as someone with raging AuDHD it was amazing finding someone I'm both sexually attracted to and who's easy to spend time with. (I'm usually tetchy as hell, and hate having people in my space.)

We started as a fling and rapidly started realizing how compatible we are. I went into this with zero expectations but he was constantly showing up for me in his actions and is just such a genuine person. He's open to a fault, and very direct, but he almost never raises his voice or gets angry (all very important traits to me). And most importantly he doesn't buy into traditional gender dynamics and has been very supportive about my queerness and gender nonconformity (I used to ID as a trans man, was on T for years and had top surgery). Despite being technically cishet, he's never made me feel odd or like my past changes how he sees me.

However, he can't plan At All. It's not specific to our relationship, it affects his whole life (he's lost two or three debit cards since we've been together). He's forgetful and almost seems unaware of the future in a way that feels just like what I dealt with before I was medicated for my ADHD. He's an amazing partner when it comes to what's directly in front of him, but I've started to feel responsible for all the forethought in the relationship.

I handled our apartment hunting, I plan the meals/grocery shopping to keep food costs down, I manage shared bills, I've planned all the dates/activities that have required reservations or tickets. I make sure plans work for his schedule, then tell him when to be ready and give him reminders for stuff I plan. (To be fair, he cooks 1/3-1/2 the time and often does over half of the other chores.)

He's always cooperative and good natured, never hesitates to pay his share, and has never not paid what he said he would. I just don't want to plan things anymore. I don't want to be the one who figures it all out, has to hustle him out the door after giving him many reminders, and who has to wait 10-15 minutes while he continually tells me he's ready when he isn't. I know it's disorganization not malice, but it's frustrating that he doesn't seem to understand why it bothers me.

He says he loves I'm such a good planner and that I stay so busy and on top of things, but I'm not. I've learned to function despite my ADHD, which boils down to setting a rough routine and using plans/deadlines to force myself to keep to that routine. He doesn't seem to understand that the the little things he thinks I worry too much about are crucial to me being a "good planner".

I try to include him my process both bc he says he wants to learn and so we can bond over it (also bc I refuse to let him think these things magically happen), but then it just becomes me trying to keep him focused while also trying to make a grocery list or find meal prep recipes or explain why we can't afford steaks.

He often makes comments like "We should do something today..." or "We should do xyz...", but seems clueless if I ask him for details. His plans usually sound like him suggesting a museum trip or kayak rental at 4:30 on a Sunday, with no intention of looking up how we could plan to do that at a reasonable time. He's never made a reservation or planned a date that required specific timing or tickets. It's been making it hard to feel romantic because to me dates are sexy due to intention with plans and mood. And he doesn't make plans or care about mood. I struggle to bring it up because we don't have much money right now and I feel like it's going to come across like I want him to spend more money on me or like I don't appreciate how hard he's been working to make ends meet (he works overtime most weeks, and I can't at my job).

I know some people just suck at planning (I have fears about being that person in other relationships), but I don't know if I can be the planning partner. I'm so jealous that I don't get the chance to be bad at planning without consequences. It makes me feel bad because he picks up my slack in so many ways, but I'm still daydreaming of being with someone who will surprise me with dates or who can offer me helpful advice when I'm upset about bills (and not just "hospital bills won't hurt your credit if you don't pay them").

I truly don't think this is a case of me carrying the mental load because I don't have to ask him to support me in other ways. He anticipates my needs, doesn't need instructions, and takes care of tasks I wouldn't even think to ask (home repair, preventative pest control, plant feeding). He's also been very clear he's in this for the long haul, he just doesn't plan. I'm starting therapy soon because I do struggle with thinking about things very narrow-mindedly sometimes and I want to talk all this over with a professional. But I could really use some perspectives from people who don't know us in the meantime.

​

Melon (what's left of it). 15 weeks pregnant, and this is what I crave the most.

So! We have been together for almost 12 years and never really entertained the idea of getting married. I guess we didn't see great examples in our families while growing up, and I never really dreamed about my wedding dress and stuff. I did think that one day I would get married (as this is what I saw everybody doing), and I brought it up a couple of times before as a theory, but he didn't seem too enthusiastic. I always knew we'd be together until one of us drops and he has been my rock through everything. He is honest to a fault, a great guy and I cannot imagine being with anyone else.

Anyway, I got pregnant and the marriage thing has come up in my mind, but I haven't brought it up with him yet. It was not really because of me but our baby - wouldn't it be better if his parents were married? We don't live in our home country so that's an extra layer of complications. I started to feel uneasy about this and was thinking about how to discuss this with him.

Before I could have done that, last night, while peacefully eating my evening melon, he says "alright we need to discuss something" with an overly serious face. This is a running joke between us as this is usually followed by something very silly. So I say "oh no, not again". He leaves the room, and comes back with a ring. Tears in my eyes immediately, tears in his eyes too.

I can't believe that he (the person I know literally everything about, from his bowel movements to his unspoken thoughts) went to a shop and looked at rings and asked for advice and chose one, which happens to be perfect and 100% me. He doesn't know about jewellery. And just the way he did it is so him: on our favourite couch in our home, me eating melon and listening to some music together. It couldn't have been any more perfect and we are so happy.

Now we kinda need to organize a wedding, how does one do that. Anyway, not tonight:)

Thanks for reading, girls.

The timing of everything going on in my life right now is honestly kind of surreal.
I recently left my husband after almost 10 years together. He’s an alcoholic and has gotten increasingly angry and aggressive, especially when he’s drunk, and things eventually got bad enough that I knew I needed to leave. I got an EDVPO and he was ordered to leave the house.
I had the hearing today and went with my lawyer. She asked him if he would sign a no-contact order and we could skip the hearing altogether, but instead he asked for a continuance so he could get a lawyer as well. He has never made anything in life easy for me.
So now I have to go back for another hearing and I have no idea what to expect. It’s going to be hard having to relive these moments in front of a courtroom. I just hope the evidence I have is enough to extend the DVPO so this can be over and I can start to put all this behind me and rebuild my life.
And of course, the next hearing is scheduled for our wedding anniversary. When I heard the new date I audibly laughed at the cruel irony of it.
I spent the rest of today putting all of his belongings into trash bags in the guest room so they’re ready whenever an officer can escort him in to get his things.
This is my first time living alone and being completely independent. I am both excited and terrified for this next chapter in life. Fast food hibachi delivered because I don’t have anything left in me today.

i will try write this as short and concise as possible otherwise it’ll read as a short novel…

• ex broke up with me in march
• no contact for 3 months
• messaged me late may or early june (can’t remember!) to essentially say that he still thinks of me when he masturbates and wants to hook up with me
• i missed him a fuck ton so of course i said yes !
• expected it to be a one time thing… it wasn’t :(
• we were essentially boyfriend and girlfriend again… NOTHING was different besides the fact he treated me with a lot more care and respect (sucked me in even deeper… and so did the little ‘dates’ he took me on)
• he was really adamant about not getting together and said he doesn’t want to date anymore as it’s too much commitment for him and he’s a very broken person (his words)
• randomly told me he went on a date today :D

now I’m wondering why i wasn’t good enough ..

My (F, 33) brother (M, 26) has a habit of doing this, and I'm really struggling to know how to deal with it.

When he was about 17, he stopped talking to me for two years after a disagreement. We eventually reconciled after the death of a family member, and things were okay for about a year. Then he chose to cut contact with me again, this time for four years.

Once again, we suffered a major loss: our father died. We reconciled because we spent his final days together in his hospital room and grieved together. I genuinely thought that maybe this time things would be different, and that we could finally have a healthier relationship.

Unfortunately, he has now decided to stop talking to me again.

Apparently, I made a joke that didn't land well and he took it badly. I apologized, but ever since then, he has refused to acknowledge me.

The thing is, this isn't something he has only done to me. He has also given both of our parents the silent treatment for years at a time, without ever properly explaining why.

He stopped speaking to our father for years, even though he was an elderly man in his 80s who had Parkinson's disease. He also did something similar to our mother, who ended up becoming depressed during that period. Even today, she still wonders what exactly she did to deserve being cut off back then.

So I'm starting to see a pattern in the way my brother deals with conflict. When something upsets him, instead of discussing it or trying to resolve it, he seems to completely withdraw from the relationship and refuse any communication, sometimes for years. It has affected every member of our immediate family.

I'm by no means perfect, and I'm not trying to portray myself as completely innocent in all of our conflicts. However, his reactions often seem extremely disproportionate to me.

For example, when he stopped talking to me for four years, the whole thing started because I cooked something using a small amount of his coconut oil without asking him. He became extremely angry. I told him I understood that I should have asked, and that I would obviously replace it immediately if he wanted me to, but that it didn't seem like something worth getting so angry over.

At the time, I was scrolling on my tablet. He grabbed my arm and took the tablet away from me. I told him that I wasn't okay with him using force against me, and that I wasn't going to continue the discussion while he was behaving like that.

He went upstairs, blocked me on every social media platform and on his phone, and that was it. He didn't speak to me for the next four years.

I live far away and only come home to see my family. During those years, whenever I did come home, I unfortunately had to deal with occasional insults and provocations from him, and he also took some of my belongings without permission. The whole situation was deeply traumatizing for me.

When we reconciled after our father died, I honestly believed that maybe he had changed, and that we could finally learn to deal with disagreements in a healthier way.

Then, recently, I came home again. I had absolutely no idea that he was angry with me. Nobody had told me anything. I only realized something was wrong when I noticed that he completely ignored me when I arrived.

It absolutely crushed me mentally.

I am still affected by all those previous years of rejection, and I'm currently in a psychologically vulnerable place. Having this happen again brought back a lot of those feelings. I'm devastated that I may once again have to experience the same thing: having a knot in my stomach every time I visit my mother and my cat because I don't know how my brother is going to treat me.

My mother is also very affected by the situation. I think it's incredibly difficult for a parent to see their children unable to have a normal relationship, especially when she has already experienced being cut off by him herself.

And I don't know how to navigate any of this.

I love my brother. Despite everything that has happened, I still do. And I don't want to spend my life walking on eggshells, wondering whether something I say or do will cause another years-long estrangement.

At the same time, I don't know how I'm supposed to maintain a relationship with him when he can apparently decide overnight that I no longer exist, without giving me an opportunity to understand what happened or resolve the conflict.

I feel like I'm grieving a brother who is still alive. I'm grieving the sibling relationship I thought I could have, the possibility of healthy family reunions, and the hope that we could eventually become a normal family again.

And seeing my mother suffer because of this makes it even harder.

For people who have experienced something similar : how did you learn to navigate this kind of relationship ? How do you cope with repeatedly being cut off by a close family member, especially when you still love them ?

I'm not necessarily looking for advice on how to "fix" my brother. I know I can't control his behavior. I'm mostly trying to understand how I can protect myself emotionally, stop living in fear of the next rejection, and still maintain some kind of relationship with my family.

Dinner is a lunch I had with my mom at a Lebanese restaurant. Chicken burger with garlic sauce, salad, and fries.

A very yummy yogurt bowl, complete with Trader Joes pistachio & jalapeño dark chocolate 🍫🥭✨

For some context, I have BPD, more of the quiet type, but it has made it incredibly difficult for me to keep friends & form long lasting community. I usually hit it off with someone or a group & then convince myself I am unlovable or that they hate having me around, so I go ghost. However, I have spent the last two years working really hard on changing my relationship with myself (shocker, I am actually a really cool and loveable person lol) & subsequently changing my relationship with other people. It’s honestly all gone so well.

I recently have wanted to bring these friends that I have made together in a group setting to soft launch forming some community, especially as social & political landscapes worsen, I think it could be beneficial for us all. I have conveniently found the perfect excuse to bring us all together for a house warming party as my partner & I have moved into our first house.

I’ve planned a Halloween themed housewarming party, and got brave enough today to start sending out invites. BUT WHY IS THERE SO MUCH PRESSURE???

And not from anyone around me – the people I’ve created friendships with are easy going, judgment free people, but the idea of bringing them all together feels like I have an invisible pressure over me. Like I hope everyone gets along, I hope I have put out enough activities to curb any awkwardness, I hope I can help integrate my more introverted friends appropriately, I hope people HAVE FUN.

Ugh, this is just my first time hosting a party & I am feeling pretty nervous…

I know that a lot of people probably feel similar anxieties, so any advice or hopeful stories would be appreciated! 

I’ve posted on here before about why I left my 5.5 year relationship but just wanting to post it all out there to seek validation I did the right thing.

Started dating him at 21 and early in our relationship I caught him still communicating with his ex of 8 years. He said that because they had a lot of history and financial obligations together they still were communicating here and there. I got over that. Things were going ok and well, so I thought. October 2024 I lost a baby and we were healing from that. In March of this year I found out that in November/December he was talking to a girl, the way I found out was that she randomly added him on TikTok, I clicked on her page and my heart sunk, I just immediately had a feeling she was involved with him.

I messaged her asking how she knows my Bf and if there was something going on between them. She said, they used to talk but hadn’t talked in a while and she now was in a relationship. I asked her if it was just talking or if there was a sexual relationship as well. She said no that they only talked for about a month, but that he told her he was single. During the time they were talking they walked our dog together a couple times, he helped her move some things with his truck, and gave her a ride home one time after a party. She mentioned he ultimately cut it off because he told her he wasn’t ready for a relationship and always seemed like he had to go. She said she felt led on by him but hasn’t heard from him since.

They met one night when he went over to his friends house and she showed up with her friends. When I confronted him I just asked him who she was and what was going on? He claims he was never alone with her and that when they would hang out there was always the mutual friend there, the friend he met her through. I asked how she got his number he claims the friend gave it to her. I asked how come him having a gf was never mentioned? I asked him how is it that she felt led on if he wasn’t doing something to make her think they were “talking” he said she was delusional and it’s not his fault she caught feelings. I don’t believe his story at all. None of it makes sense to me.

His story never made sense to me and I couldn’t move past this, I left him in March but still haunted by this.

caesar salad with grilled chicken + matcha

Decided to take another chance on the apps. Ended up meeting a funny guy (32M) and a date was planned. I told him I don’t drink but don’t mind being around alcohol.

We met up at an Ethiopian lounge. Everything was going smooth, until I realized he had drank 3 Jack Daniel’s shooters and was going on about his ex.

I feel like it’s okay to discuss why a relationship didn’t work and what lessons were learned, what might’ve happened to an extent, but he told me way more than I needed to know.

I know his ex’s first and last name, where she may be stationed, the fact that she moved on, the last voicemail she left him (and might I add, he interpreted this as she still loves him and verbatim said he still loves her), her parents names…

I kept trying to redirect the conversation, but he just kept going. I would say I’m a great listener and respectful when someone else is talking, but he got into intimate details of his ex pertaining to her medical history that I’m like woah…

As someone who’s experienced loss when it came to pregnancy, God forbid someone go divulge a deep dive of that information to someone else, especially a man who has no idea what she was going through in that time.

Needless to say, I more than likely won’t be seeing him again and the apps got me for 72 more hours or less.

Rice and dhal because I’m tired and can’t manage cooking tonight. Sorry i couldn’t share a final result, I kinda forgot.

idk if this is against the rules but im happy with men commenting

I was thinking, I’ve been having issues with identity for a while. I was born a guy, and all my friend say i still look like one, no matter how much i try to change it. to be clear, im trans/genderfluid/genderqueer.

I’ve been struggling in everything for a while, it feels like the world is coming down on me. no one accepts me, and even though some people do, it still feels like the evil ones have a larger control.

I also really have been overwhelmed with changing my body. changing clothes, piercing ears, doing all that doesn’t seem to satisfy others. they still see me as a guy. it’s truly impossible to change myself, isn’t it? I’ll never look like what I want to, but even then it doesn’t let me look like what I want to.

they said the world was my oyster, but oysters don’t live that long.

Meal: Angel hair pasta topped with spicy green sauce meant for pizza and Parmesan with a chilled lemon le croix.

(SPOILER: TALK OF LETTING A CHARACTER MEET THEIR DEMISE)

DND has become a mess. Everyone works together as a team and communicates/strategizes with others in mind except for ONE person.

We all met as part of a big fandom Discord and started our own channel for DND. The people who joined for this campaign have all been part of the server for awhile now and know each other’s online profiles well. There’s one person who has become more and more of a problem for some people in the server that just does not know how to share. Instead of yes, anding the more so say yes, but and take over someone’s whole idea in the fandom and in the DND game which people have very much been noticing.

A small group of us got closer on server calls and created a separate closer knit server to become real friends on (the og server has hundreds of people so it’s much harder to connect there) and we’ve been trying to figure out how to avoid setting this person off but still enjoy the main server.

In the past there have been offers (including from me) to help them with their socialization skills when they asked why people kept getting mad at them. Instead of taking any accountability they said they don’t want to put in the effort and also they’re autistic. MANY people in the server are autistic and neurodivergent (I’m the latter) and were offended.

During the most recent DND game I was joking around about one of the players werewolf OCs having rabies because they got bit by a dragon and apparently they said we should just ‘let them die’.

Now this person’s character has dealt with a lot of hate in a past DND group in the past due to issues like racism and they’ve shared a lot about it so this person is aware of their sensitivity. I didn’t hear them say it because at that point I had tuned them out because they like to start sentences and then go ‘oops, sorry, never mind’ every few minutes.

In the chat the werewolf OC haver communicated they felt bad and I immediately apologized thinking I had gone too far making a rabies joke and also messaged them privately when I heard they were tearing up. I felt so bad. This person is my friend and it was not my intent to make them feel targeted at all. I was thinking about leaving the call right after they abruptly did (to take space).

Our DM leaves a few seconds later, getting on a private call with them (was told about this later from both people after the session). They come back and say that comments about letting player characters die are now off limits. Immediately I think it’s my fault and that my chat comments had somehow been misinterpreted. The asshole anti-team player who had made the comment went ‘oh my god, that’s awful, who did that?’. Later we gave them the benefit of the doubt they just weren’t paying attention to what they themselves were saying since they have a history of being insensitive and talking out their ass.

Finally my friend came back and we, of course, were being gentle with them because they’ve been having some struggles recently and it makes perfect sense why they were upset after that. THIS STUPID BIOTCH TAKES THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE A COMMENT TO THEM ABOUT THINKING THEY ARE THE ‘ANONYMOUS DUMBO OCTOPUS’ ON THE SHARED GOOGLE DOC.

(Dumbo octopus it turns out are very cute but no one knew what they were at the time including them). Instantly my friend who was barely back asks, voice cracking, ‘why would you associate me with that’ because they just came in not knowing the conversation. It’s a stupid mistake and social blunder that the asshole made so the group— including me— comforted them afterwards when my friend left abruptly again (we still didn’t know they were the person to make the death comment).

About half an hour later my friend rejoins and we finally get back on track. I heal their werewolf OC happily and things go back to normal and they get back in the groove (they carry our team in DND since they’re a skilled player and a natural team leader).

We meet the big boss and my friend works with everyone to strategize a way for us to interact without risking death. We’re all super into it and back in good moods after being so unsteady.

It takes over twenty minutes to do a bunch of planning lead by my friend and as we’re finally going through with it, the asshole suddenly throws an attack right at the villains head which does basically zero damage and dooms is all.

In the past the rest of us have taken turns babysitting their character (yet they’ve made some horrible choices that go against the goal impossible to avoid many many times anyways) but this was impossible to avoid because they gave ZERO warning.

The DM ends the game because we’re all exhausted and frustrated. My friend leaves immediately and I start to get heated. I ask them why they would do that when we had all worked together (including them!!) and why they refused to be a team player. They said it’s just what their character would do and that they might care about us but their character doesn’t. I tried to continue and point out that they had wasted so much time and they just chuckled it off awkwardly and said that’s what DND is for or something like that.

My friends and I reconvened in our private server after where the whole story was explained to me including the fact the asshole said what they said. The friend who was upset is now thinking about leaving the campaign and everyone else is tired of playing with the anti-team player.

I’m just fucking pissed and I’m trying not to say too much because I don’t want to make the main server situation awkward for anyone else or ruin the campaign any more than they already have.

It’s ok to sometime go off script or have fun with it, that’s what DND is for!! But this is a team based session and we’re all a group traveling together. This is consistent insane behavior from them with no accountability and many times it keeps someone else for trying their hand at doing something unconventional or the group from enjoying the story the DM is trying to tell.

I work in IT without a computer science background. I feel really lucky to have this job at this company with great coworkers, an incredible mentor in my boss, and remote work. They even paid for me to do a year of trainings to get some advanced certifications to help supplement that lack of computer science experience. The problem is I took the test last week and failed by 1 question. I took the full 90 mins. It was an open book test. I worked so hard on it. It was hard but I really thought I had it. I do get a second chance before it becomes something I have to pay a lot of money to try again.

The problem is I don't think I can realistically do better. No matter how well I know the material, I always do poorly on multiple choice tests. I get caught up in the phrasing and answers that are technically correct but not the *most* correct. I second guess myself constantly. I can't focus and have to re-read a lot which just increases my chances of reading it wrong. You're not allowed to even read it out loud to yourself even though you have to do it in a private room. I have dyslexia and ADHD (but I think dyslexia is the bigger issue here, cause as I take the practice tests I keep noticing I'm getting wrong answers because I misread something.) I have been trying to study all week but I'm basically crippled by feeling like I'm wasting my time, and thinking about how I will feel even worse about myself when I study hard and don't pass. I put aside time to study but is it happening? Is it working? I don't know.

I don't know if I should give myself more time to keep studying or just get this over with while the course is fresh in my memory. I have until February. I won't get fired if I fail but I think it will have implications down the line when the company realizes there's no point in investing in me. I feel so *stupid*. Obviously this has been happening to me for my whole life, but I haven't had to deal with it in a long time. I thought I wouldn't make it through highschool but then college came easy to me because it was mostly papers. I can think. I can write. I just can't read.

Why does it have to be a multiple choice test? Can't I just write a paper? I miss college.

My question about "is it better to wait and keep studying or do it now" is absolutely not hypothetical for the record.

My girl dinner is my meal prepped "sesame chicken" waiting to go in the freezer.

I'd been seeing a guy for a few months, who I knew about 12 years ago when we had a bit of a thing. It had been *intensely* good catching up with him, I hadn't felt like this in so long. I have been mostly single for the last 5 years, so I was excited about where this was going and so was he - that's what he said anyway. I was so vulnerable with him, and I don't usually open up like that quickly but I thought this was different because there was a history and I already knew him. He was also really vulnerable which made me feel safe in a weird way.

Then last week I got a friend's request on Instagram from his ex, I sent him the screenshot and he confirmed it was her. We have no mutual friends so I did assume it was her. This may have opened communication between them again, and this morning he said they're going to 'talk' and 'haven't worked out' what they're going to do yet. I just said I don't want to get in the middle of anything and after he'd apologised he just said goodbye in a text.

To add insult to injury I ended things with him the first time around 12 years ago, because I wanted to try and give things a go with my bf at the time. I feel like this is karma slapping me across the face ngl. I'm so hurt.

Dinner is chickpea curry, flatbread, salad and greek yogurt.

i made a post a few weeks back on here talking about how i moved back in with my parents so i could help pay down my credit cards. it’s been a few months since i’ve been home and i am BEYOND miserable. for context, i was living in my own apartment in a big city and my parents live in a small but growing suburban area (still a small town). my parents are both immigrants from asia and i was born in the US. they’re both hard working people who have sacrificed so much for me but i honestly hate living with them. i feel horrible even admitting that but it’s true. we live in a small 2 bedroom apartment and my job is mostly remote. my father is retired and my mom still works. so most of the time i’m home with my dad.

my dad will make unnecessary rude comments to me (and my mom too) every once in awhile and i can’t stand it. for example, he offered me some fruit the other day and i said no thank you and he started going off on a tangent that i don’t eat healthy. another example is a time when he asked me if i wanted anything from the grocery store and i asked for frozen chicken nuggets and after buying them for me, he asked me to pay him back for it and i refused because i thought he was offering to get it for me as a gesture since he asked?! i told him to return it and he got angrier at me.

every week my parents will argue in their native language and it’s so triggering for me. they are very loud when they argue. i have to put on headphones every time they do so i can drown it out. the walls in our apartment are very thin as well so anytime i’m in meetings it’s a little embarrassing when you can hear them in the background.

EVERY TIME i leave to go out to run errands, both my parents will come into my room and clean it. they like to make my bed, do my laundry, take out my trash, reorganize my room and this drives me CRAZY. my dad constantly complains that my room gives him a headache. they will not stop coming into my room. even when i clean my room myself, they continue to come into my room when im not home because i will notice the slightest changes in my room.

i get it that it’s their house their rules but i am so exhausted. i dont mean to sound ungrateful or a brat or anything but i really don’t enjoy living with my parents. i feel like i don’t have any privacy and i can’t escape the unnecessarily rude comments from my dad. not to mention, my aggravating older sister also causes me stress as well but i’ll save that for another girl dinner diary.

ft. everything bagel and coffee

Food: Shrimp Alfredo

My husband gets upset every time I mention returning to work. I graduated school, and worked for 3 months before having to stop due to health complications. He has supported me fully, and to the best of his ability.

Every time I bring up returning to work, (usually after an argument) it feels like war. The things he has said about it:

-It would ruin our relationship
-I’ll be too stressed out and stress him out

How do I make him realize that returning to work is not an attack on his ability to provide? How do talk to someone who shuts down, and refuses to even look my way after I tell him how I feel?

i (19f) started talking to this guy(19m) in uni in may and we got really close really fast. looking back, i think he was love bombing me. we then drifted apart in june and reconnected in august to try again. after a few weeks of talking, today, he tells me that its just not like before anymore and that he can’t continue this.

i feel stupid and disappointed because i was the one who reconnected with him and i was hopeful. now i feel lead on.

for context, i got out of my first relationship that lasted 3.5 years in january this year and have never been in a situationship before. so i think that made me attached to him and susceptible for the love bombing. ugh.

my senior year of uni just started this week.
this close to crashing out but yeah whatever.

dinner is salmon and greens

Reposted because pic wasn’t loading

Dinner is mixed cereals and legumes with beans and olives, dressing is olive oil and a pinch of salt (very white of me I know lol)

30F never been in a relationship with a man or woman, never done anything whatsoever.

Not a sad post just came to this conclusion a while ago and wanted to share with you all.

As a very introverted person with a nonexistent social battery I love my alone time very much and I guess that contributes to this feeling of being okay without ever experiencing love. I do get lonely sometimes where I’d like to have someone in my life but it goes away pretty soon 😗

I love myself even if I don’t really fit in with what people consider beautiful but I’m not changing myself just to appeal to others 🙂‍↔️
So yeah just wanted to share this in case anyone reading is feeling like this or has experienced this.

Being happy with yourself is what’s most important and that’s where I am now after a lot of work on myself, still more to do but satisfied so far ✨

Also apologies if my wording is weird sometimes English isn’t my first language 😗

I've been working full time since I left college (uk equivalent of high school) a few years ago and have gotten very lucky with career opportunities (that I've worked incredibly hard to show I'm worthy of).

I worried about posting this because I'm superstitious and I don't want to jinx it, so knock on wood, but I'm in the process of buying my own place and I hope to be moving in before Xmas. It's the cutest one bed starter home!!

If this all goes as expected, I will be the first person in my immediate family to own my own home 🎉🎉

Obviously I'm freaked out a bit because I'm thinking of all the places where the purchase can go wrong!! But I have faith that this is my home and it's meant for me 💗

dinner: cobb salad from hard rock cafe

gai lan, white rice, korean style marinated chicken

I cooked this chicken for 20 mins and it was still pink inside. Cut it up and cooked for an additional 10 minutes. I’m never buying chicken again. Small chicken portion because it stresses me out too much.

Let me explain.

I've been dealing with some friendship grief lately and could use perspective from people who have experienced something similar.

I had a friend I felt incredibly connected to, but over time the friendship became really hot and cold. I eventually stopped reaching out as much because I was tired of constantly wondering where I stood. For context, she'd sometimes tell me she wasn't going out anymore because she wanted to stay home, spend time with family, etc., which was completely fair. I have my own life too, and we could easily go weeks without seeing each other without that being an issue for me.

But then I'd see her going out with newer groups of friends the same day she tells me she wants to stay in. It wasn't, "Why are you hanging out with them instead of me?" I genuinely believe people should have other friendships and entire lives outside of me. It was more the disconnect between what was being communicated to me and what I was observing.

It started feeling less like, "I don't have the capacity to socialize right now," and more like maybe she had the capacity for connection, just not with me? There were other small versions of this too: selective responses, inconsistent availability, periods of closeness followed by distance. None of it individually felt like some huge friendship-ending offense, which is probably why I questioned myself for so long. Collectively, though, I realized how often the friendship left me wondering where I stood.

So eventually I stopped trying to interpret it. I didn't confront her or end the friendship. I just stopped carrying so much of it and allowed her to meet me with whatever effort she wanted to give. The part that's really confusing me now is that our last interaction wasn't negative.

The time we interacted was when she texted me in July saying she'd gone out and ran into one of our mutual friends, and then told me I should come out with her next time. I responded basically saying, "Yeah, just let me know the details the next time you go out." No response, nothing abnormal about that. That was our last conversation.

And then today I happened to look at her profile and realized she'd unfriended/unfollowed me. I have no idea when she did it. She's not particularly active on social media, and I wasn't checking her page regularly enough that I would've noticed when it happened.

And fuck, it hurt 😞

Not because I regret stepping back. I still think I needed to. But now I'm sitting with this really strange feeling of...wait, what actually happened? She's still friends with all of our mutual friends so this seem pretty intentional.

Did she experience me stepping back as rejection? Was she already pulling away because something had changed for her? Was she upset with me about something I never knew about? Did something happen between July and now that I'm completely unaware of? Or did I correctly sense all along that she didn't really want the same friendship anymore?

I don't know.

Photo: Bun Bo Hue

For dinner (lunch): Thai style bean salad and lotsss of coffee.

A 12 year-old in my family (we'll call her Lily) was removed from her dad's custody several months ago and was placed with her grandma/my aunt (age 62). Lily's mother, my aunt's daughter, died when she was four. Both parents have struggled with drug and alcohol abuse, and Lily has been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and severe ADHD.

When Lily first got here, she spent most of her time at my house. My aunt's husband was unhappy with the situation and was quite unsupportive. He even lashed out at the child a couple times, calling her whiney and annoying. My aunt tried her best to keep Lily out of his hair, hence why she spent so much time at my house. She said that if anything should happen to her, she wants Lily to go to me.

Over the summer I've been like a parent to this child. I was really concerned that my aunt couldn't handle a special needs child, and it seemed likely that I would eventually become the kiddo's full-time caregiver. I clothed, entertained, and fed her. I packed her lunches and drove her to daycare. We brushed our teeth together every night. I was completely committed to being this involved indefinitely, and I told my aunt as much. Lily also just adores me- I'm her favorite person, and she wants to do everything together. When my aunt has information to share regardly Lily or her dad, I have been the first person she discusses it with. For context, I am 28, live alone, and have a dependable job. My boyfriend of 5 years lives 2.5 hours away. I'm also in grad school part time.

Recently, my aunt's husband has really stepped up. He seems like he got over whatever his issue was. He painted her bedroom and decorated, and Lily has been spending more and more time at their house. She's been taking the things I've given her, like toys and posters, from my house to her grandma's. She doesn't call my house her home anymore.

I suggested that Lily comes over to my house on weekends, but my aunt insisted that I'm a "single young woman who needs her weekends." She also doesn't want Lily around too much when my boyfriend visits. I understand a concern about men she doesn't know very well, but they're hardly strangers. My aunt also suggested that maybe Lily should live with other relatives (her mom's half-sister, several states away) if anything happens to her. My aunt frames it like she's doing me a favor.

I feel like I'm being pushed out. My aunt has laid down a very firm boundary that I am not Lily's parent, and I think has been telling her so. It's great for Lily that my aunt's home has become more stable, and that she has a positive male influence. I feel guilty for how sad I am over having a reduced role in her life, and paranoid that I've done something to give my aunt reason for concern. I feel a bit used and pathetic. I got so attached to this kid in such a short amount of time, I'm crushed over having less of a commitment to make. I'm also confused, because my aunt still wants me to attend school events with her.

Being like, the cool auntie is a lot of fun, but it's just not what I thought I'd be doing. And I'm having a hard time understanding why I feel so hurt over what's technically a net-positive for everyone, including me.

I guess maybe this is more of a vent post, but I'd love to hear if anyone has been through anything similar. Don't worry, I will be talking to my therapist about it. Family is tough sometimes. Anyways.

Is it just me, or are like 90% of guys on dating apps speed-running the first date? Like, zero context, no rapport, and within three messages I'm getting: "So when are we meeting up?"

It gives me such a massive ick. I know this is a "steak too juicy, lobster too buttery" moment but FR: If I said yes to every guy who asked me out within 24 hours of matching, dating would literally become my full-time job. I don't want to spend every night getting dressed up, driving across town, and filling in the awkward silence for a guy who couldn't pick me out of a lineup.

My automatic reaction is to unmatch because I'm not trying to make up for someone who can't put in the effort... But I’m starting to wonder if I’m missing out on actually decent, well-meaning guys who have just fallen victim to that stupid "don't be her pen pal" advice.

Ladies, How are you finding good dates without losing your minds? Are you guys holding out for actual conversational chemistry, or are you just rolling the dice on these fast-askers?

reuploading due to formatting issues sorry....but these oxtail fries with truffle sauce tho 😍😍😍

Last week, I (17F) told my boyfriend (17M) I was gonna go see the Spider-Man movie with a friend of mine (18M) this Thursday and he asked if the friend was a guy or a girl, I told him he's a guy so now he won't speak to me at all 🫩 he ranted about how I'm disrespectful, and if he did the same with a female friend I would react even worse (mind you he has close female friends and I've never brought it up as an issue, because I'm not insecure). this isnt the only time he's reacted badly to me going out to be social at all but its definitely the worst. he hasn't spoke to me in days now I'm so confused idk what to do!!!!!!!!!!