He went back to his home country, spent some time there (like 1-2 months) with his male best friends and family. Came back and PROUDLY TOLD ME that he watched some very interesting porn videos. I had no idea on how to respond to that so I was like “oh.. okay… probably just a man thing… glad that you guys had fun back in India…”.

At that time, Bonnie Blue was viral so I asked him, “is it Bonnie Blue?”. Then he went quiet and awkwardly said “nahh it’s so much better than Bonnie Blue”.

Before this, he always convinced me that he doesn’t watch porn anymore. So it was weird as fuck how he suddenly changed after meeting his toxic, fellow cheating loser male friends, and became so proud that he watched some porn……

Then a few days after that, I stumbled across his browsing history (I wasn’t snooping around, he was typing something on his search bar). And there I saw it: Bonnie Blue 🫠

Weird that his insecure little lying ass wouldn’t even admit that my guess was right lol.

Anyway I’ve dumped that loser sewer rat not because of the porn, but because he cheated on me like 3 times.

I love my SW queens but hearing her name icks me now because of this event…..

This burger was insanely good btw. The fried mozzarella cheese patty was 💯💯 (NOT AN AD IM JUST A BIGBACKED CHEESE ENJOYER)

So I just started becoming friends with this guy last week. Call him C. I introduced C to my other girl friend, L, so the three of us would call, play games, and plan failed hangouts. I also went to C’s workplace once because he worked at a perfume shop and I needed to renew my old perfume. I told my boyfriend about all of this, and he never said he had a problem with it.

One day, C and I were talking about the gym, and he offered to let me come with him for free. I asked my boyfriend if he was okay with it, and he said, “Yes, I’m okay with it. No problem.” Mind you, C and I hadn’t even gone to the gym yet.

The next day, my boyfriend started acting off. I asked what was wrong, and he said he didn’t want to talk about it. I asked if it was about us, and he said no, it was personal and I shouldn’t worry about it.
The next day, we didn’t talk all morning. Around 2 PM, I texted him, and he left me on read. I texted again, still nothing. I called, and he hung up, saying he didn’t feel like calling. Eventually, I told him I’d give him space.

Three hours later, I could barely focus in my college class because I was having so much anxiety over what was happening. Around 6 PM, I called him, and he finally told me he felt disrespected in the relationship. He said we had two options: go on a break or end things.

I’m not a break person, so I knew I would choose the second option. I explained my side, blocked my guy friend, and cried like crazy. Then, about 10 minutes later, my boyfriend called me back and said he realized his communication was awful and that he hadn’t actually given me a chance.
Now, after this crazy emotional roller coaster, I’m questioning whether I even want the relationship anymore. I know I still love him, but I don’t think things will feel the same. In my experience, once a relationship gets to the point of splitting, it eventually ends down the road. And honestly, I’m wondering if his communication will actually change or if this is just going to happen again.

Earlier this year I found out my bf gave me chlamydia 2 days before my birthday and instead of leaving him i decided to stay. Technically we’re still together but ever since then I told myself if I couldn’t leave I would just cheat or stay until i hated him. This Friday a guy I once new hmu and said he was going to be in my area for a couple of days and if I wanted to hang out. At first I said no but the more I thought about it the more I did not care. We ended up hanging out for 3 days and I slept over one day. The guy was the best never in my 4 years of being with my bf have I had this much princess treatment. This past weekend made me realize I have so much hatred for my bf and if he didn’t owe me money I would leave today but the amount he owes me is a lot and he’s paying it off in small amounts. Anyways he deserved it because I’ve recently found out he cheated more than once in the past couple of years. This might make me a bad person and ppl might tell me to just leave but it’s my duty to make him suffer like i did.

Food is a waffle

i am pregnant with my ex/same person i’m “dating” rn’s baby and i feel like after we broke up and wanted to try to make things work, he doesn’t want that anymore.

i know im pregnant. period is late. i’ve had abortions before (please do not judge me) but this is the one i actually want to keep simply bc i don’t want to have another abortion and i want to be a mother bc i can handle it. however, i am going through with another abortion.

i feel used for sex. used for stability. i’ve been having increased thoughts of suicide, i am depressed (reaching severe depression i feel) and all i want to do is lay somewhere and rot to death.

i feel unattractive. i feel undesirable. i gave so much of myself for 4 years (cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, emotional support, financial support) just to feel like ive been tossed to the side until he feels like there is no other woman left but me.

i do not have intentions to harm myself as of now, but the thought does linger.

i know im deserving of love and respect. i just cannot mentally bring myself to leave him because i love him.

we live together.

oh how it feels to love with nothing to show for it.

on a brighter note, i’m trying to get back into sketching so i can sketch my ideas for mid century modern homes bc id like to start my own custom home building business so im trying to start learning HVAC from youtube.

sorry for my sad post but thank you for listening.

here is my steak burrito i made from scratch completely.

BF (38M) and I (30F) have been dating for almost three years, and we’ve lived together for a year and a half. I love this man so much. He’s my best friend, my safe space, and my rock. But I knew pretty early on that there would be challenges.

Because of my toxic family (shoutout r/AsianParentStories lol) me telling them that I was moving in with a man, unwed and full of sin, it would open a can of worms I did not want to deal with. At the time, I still wasn’t completely sure whether I wanted kids myself. What I did know was that I didn’t want that option taken away from me. I told him pretty clearly that if he knew he didn’t want children I would not move in and also part ways. We have a good mixture of friends who are childfree/dinks/dildos, and a few who do have families. We’ve never spoken about it so seriously, and after some time apart, he told me that although he is still unsure about kids, he is willing to be open minded and that if and when the time comes, he will be fully onboard. 

Now this brings us to today. Life has been really good, but not without its up and downs. I think us living together also brought up some issues to light, which we have been resolving/working through couples/individual therapy. The thing is, the longer we’ve been together the more I realized that I wanted to have his kids. He makes me so happy that it makes me fantasize about the family I never had. We also live a fairly comfortable and simple life wfh in tech, but this would change drastically with kids. 

Recently, I received a potential job opportunity where I could make roughly 40% more in total compensation. Additional positives are that this is a dream company and it feels like a major step in my career. It would also mean that I would be in office all 5 days + intense hours. I’m very 50/50 on this, because my current job is not only wfh but has good wlb. While discussing this with my partner, I could see that he was visibly stressed out when I was mulling through the logistics of taking this job because of the changes, such as moving, spending less time together, our routines changing, etc. I also spoke about how this would be good for us financially if we do plan on having kids.

This then opened up a much larger conversation about our lives, expectations, and the relationship, and this is when he told me he is still unsure whether he wants kids.

I feel gutted.

I gave up a lot for this relationship, my dream solo girl apt, my relationship with my family because I believed we were building toward a future that still included the possibility of children. He told me that when he gave me his answer before I moved in, he genuinely intended to work through his uncertainty in individual therapy and hoped he would become mentally prepared for the thought of parenthood, but has not reached there yet. 

He feels extremely content with our life right now, and he knows having children would fundamentally change it. We live in a HCOL city where money matters enormously. Having children at the standard of living we'd want would probably require sacrifices such as career changes, potentially leaving our current home for somewhere larger, less freedom, etc.

We've also watched friends who had children move out of the city and gradually become less present in our social lives. He knows our friendships and social life would change too. The state of the world also gives him a lot of anxiety about bringing a child into it. He was also adopted from an early age, where I think it traumatized him because he has been working through his issues in regards to his identity, and has expressed fears about how he is scared he would have a child and would want nothing with it, similar to how he was given up as a child. 

I feel so heartbroken and overwhelmed. Here I was preparing for a future that I was excited for, only to find out that we were not on the same page that I thought we were. Because of the situation, he has decided to take some time to do a bit of soul searching. 

As much as I want to be mad at him for not being as transparent as he should’e been, I also understand where he’s coming from, and I know that this is not an easy decision. He’s a really great guy, supportive in every way, and I’ve never been happier. I also think that that’s what makes it so hard, knowing that he has his own valid reasons. He values his autonomy, we genuinely love our current life, the world along with its politics are super scary and parenthood would require sacrifices from both of us. It’s not that I can’t imagine us having a childfree life, I just feel that eventually there will come a day where I would regret not having kids. I also do not want him to have kids for the sake of me or the relationship. 

So here I am with my can of corn as I try not to spiral when in this limbo state of mind :')

Pizza with my toddler.

I can’t sleep because I am supposed to get the results of an exam I took in June today - it’s 5 am. I’ve been up since 2 thinking about when they’ll release the results. I’m 36 and i guess my favorite thing in the world is taking tests. I know it sounds nuts but I love mastering material and then taking exams. I keep a binder for every exam and I purchase every question bank to practice that exists. I used to be a perfectionist about the score but I’ve gotten a little more relaxed about the actual scores. I am a physician and I have 3 board certification (general/sub speciality/sub sub specialty). I also have a certificate but not a real degree in statistics which is something I’d like to formalize at some point. I run a lab and I see patients. I have a toddler and a baby on the way. In June I took a fourth licensing exam. It’s technically a separate board certification from a different licensing agency as my third certification- for my third cert there are two options one taken mainly by MDs and one by PHDs but both get you a board certification in this this niche area of laboratory medicine. I took the MD one initially but when I heard the PHD one was harder I signed up for that too. I don’t need it at all. It benefits me in no way. (Other than learning new content that was interesting to me) But I studied for it for 6 months and agonized for weeks before the exam and weeks after about which ones I got wrong (not to my husband but internally).. I joined virtual study groups. Anyway the scores come out today and I will say this was one of the harder exams I’ve taken as I don’t have a PHD and it was a ton of extra content to learn. I feel genuinely nervous about getting the results. There were also no available practice exams that mimicked the exam so I actually used Claude to help me write over a thousand questions that I practiced from

Anyway assuming I pass I will need to figure out what to do next. My husband thinks I’m insane and he won’t humor my test anxiety the last few days while awaiting results

. But I’d like to explore a formal degree in statistics (?masters?) next. Fwiw i have tried coursera and other online classes but unless there is a legitimate exam or real certification at the end I just can’t get into it.

My husband thinks I should talk to my therapist about this. I have a therapist and they have never considered this a problem. My motivation is mastery of content and I just love my color coded binders but there is clearly a component of external validation that must come with it otherwise I’d be able to study things without a final exam. Aside from not cooking as much as I could I don’t think this hobby interferes with my life. In fact my husband works so much that most of my studying happens when he’s busy working late and we have down time after toddler goes to sleep. I have hobbies (I crochet and do other fiber art). I have friends. When I ask him why he doesn’t want me to go for another exam of some kind he can’t really explain it other than it’s not healthy - our marriage is good and he doesn’t feel neglected by studying (I usually study on the train to work or when my son goes to sleep and husband is still working. I also study so far in advance that I’m not cramming in my opinion). I spend more time with our toddler than he does and do manage more household tasks as he works longer hours

Also of note doctors have to recertify every 10 years but now instead of one big test they send you continuing education questions every few months to maintain your certification.you can opt out and just take big exams every 10 years but recertifying isn’t as fun as new content in my opinion

Anyway I’m not sure I agree with him that this is a problem…. And I genuinely like the job I have subsequent to all this specialization. I hope I pass my exam today! I know I’ll probably have to put off any new projects until after maternity leave and baby is sleeping through the night and im fine with that but I can’t fathom this being my last real exam and I would like to have one to look forward to even if I have to wait a few years to make it happen

Adding one funny thing i just remembered - when I was a kid my mom humored me through all my test taking neurosis and she used to sit outside the shower curtain and quiz me with flash cards. When I was in med school she had piles of them laminated so i could take them in the shower with me.

And just one more Clarification here since it comes up on the comments: my husband is not unhappy with our marriage. When asked he says “I’m happy if you’re happy but wouldn’t you be happier with a hobby that doesn’t stress you out”. He has never complained about time we spend together or as family or any financial strain at all (and he would if he was concerned)

Okay, this will be a long one. It’ll be a little all over the place, so I apologize. Lamb chops, brussel sprouts, and smashed potatoes.

I am not going to answer any personal details or provide them because I have very high anxiety of this post being led back to me. It is only important to know that I am a young adult 18-25, I’ve been seeing a guy for about a year. Officially dating for a month. The start of our relationship was messy. Very messy. He did a lot of things that hurt me, even though I often don’t think he realized how badly it did.

I often days feel like it’d be easier to block his ass on everything, and his friends and family who may try to reach out to me post break up on his behalf. I find that he isn’t a person I find myself attracted to, and I can’t quite understand why, even though I believe that’s a lie.

But I have to be honest as well, I am pretty spoiled. He occasionally took and paid for my food even though for the past year I’d been floating him cause he had no job. My bf definitely spoils me with the bare minimum. I get my occasional walks, which I do complain when I don’t get, mostly because he only ever wants to watch a show/esports/sports, play a game, or fuck. Which I don’t really want to have sex because he doesn’t make it fun or sexy. He is indeed like a dog, and he thinks it’s cute. He’s not spontaneous, he doesn’t spark the kind of life I desire.

He also makes jokes about how “if we’re going to be together you have to…” it mostly consists of demands to watch sports and get into them, which is the one popular thing I have never gotten into. I told him the best way for me to get into sports was to briefly play them yk? To which he scoffed and rolled his eyes at me.

He constantly gives me a hard time about everything. Sometimes he’s funny and other times I feel like an idiot. My dad sometimes does that to me and my mom, so I think it’s a brother thing. It pisses me off. I don’t like having my feelings or person insulted just because it’s meant to be funny. Anytime I do ANYTHING he looks at me like I’m this alien. Like what I just did was so baffling he literally pauses, sits in silence and laughs. I feel like a fucking moron. I hate trying to make jokes or conversation with him, I hate sitting next to him on long car rides. I asked my bf to be a gf for a moment so I could discuss some drama, midway through my recounting my boyfriend plain out turned to me and said “what’s the purpose of you talking about this?” Which, I suppose may be fair that the others didn’t actually want to listen, or he wanted to dip. He does it a lot.

I hate how he constantly wants sex or head. I feel like any piece of my actual feelings and self is being ripped away from me little by little and that he’s only ever like this sexy version of me that’s never actually existed.

When I envision a boyfriend for myself I think of someone who cares about me, is building a stable career or wanting to do things that aren’t watch esports content and watch shows all day. I’m not hating on games as I myself am into esports somewhat.

When I compare my relationship to what I believe a relationship looks like he’s no where close to my person. If you ask me what a good relationship looks like to me I’d have to tell you I see it in my parents, thankfully. I am just a type of weird that I think someone else would love better, plus I am just not crazy enough for his taste as he seems to like his ex so much that he hasn’t blocked her yet either. He also tells me that he doesn’t like her anymore but blocking her feels wrong because it was a 6 year relationship. So yeah.

It kills me because I want to see good in this guy, because I know he comes from a genuine place, but he’s too stubborn to take criticism constructively or self reflect. I’ve tried. I’ve bought him a journal to help on his mental health journey and he’s never used it, except to write a draft of a letter of apology because my parents hate his guts. He’s got a big ego issue. He thinks there’s nobody better than him and that any slightly bigger person is ugly and he says a lot of homophobic and transphobic things which is something I can’t stand. It makes me want to cry. My bff is gay, my ex bffs were gay and the other was trans. Hell, I’ve dated a girl. I once asked him a hypothetical question, I find them fun, I asked if he’d rather I double my weight or half it. Yk, kinda stupid, kind of get your feelings hurt no matter the answer question. But he hated both answers and said if I doubled my weight we’d break up and same with half.

I smoke a lot of weed. At least twice or even three times a day when I don’t work. Recently, during my highs I’m often self isolating, I like to be by myself and with my thoughts even if I’m not feeling 100%. However, in my loneliness I’ve started to think about my relationship with this man. My TikTok and my instagram are always significantly different from when I’m sober to high, like the algorithm picks up on it somehow and suddenly I feel like I’m in an induced religious panic about signs from above and astrology and just things. I get TikTok’s that describe how the audience (so me) isn’t in a good relationship. That a relationship is waiting for me that I deserve, and blah blah blah. It freaks me out a lot because even though I know and feel like I should break up with him I’m scared about what’s waiting for me. I’m scared that my loneliness will only deepen because I don’t really have any friends and I only work select days of the week, plus my job isn’t one where many make adult friends.

I fear that once I break up with him I’ll be lonelier than before. That I am just hyping myself to break up with him because I’m choosing to believe a better man, the man of my dreams, is around the corner even though I don’t know if that is at all true. But something in my body and in my heart tells me that I won’t be told or shown that leaving him is the right or wrong choice until after I leave. Which kind of tells me that it is the right choice.

Anytime I’m anxious he dismisses me, tells me to not be so pessimistic and to relax. But I can’t relax, I like hypotheticals because they make me feel like I’m taking precautions in my mind, and he won’t indulge me. I feel like he doesn’t take my anxiety, fears, or trauma into consideration like the way he does his ex. I have to admit I stalked her media, which isn’t good, I haven’t done it in a while and have made conscious efforts to keep myself from it because it’s not fair to her. My point, she had publicly posted her court case and shouted out my bf (who was her bf at the time) for being there at the hearing as support. Now, it is a trauma I feel no one deserves to suffer from so I will not excuse my bf for his treatment because we share the same stand point. However, I too am a victim and it feels like he takes me less seriously because we’ve been dating less time.

I suppose that is a lot. I feel like I’ve basically trauma dumped. But I’m so stuck. I don’t want to work, I don’t want to go out alone, I just don’t want to be alone but I’m scared I won’t find my person. My bff has begun pulling away a little, just a natural drift. She had a crush on a girl and during our vacation this year she mostly talked to the girl on the phone, and now she’s back to work full time and living 4 hours away with close to no time to call let alone text me. So yeah, I want to put myself out there, I want a friendship where we can cry in each others arms and feel no judgment, where I can be insanely high and cry at monsters university without feeling like I’m too sensitive, and no feeling disgusted by a man when talking about if sexy instead of pretty, beautiful, or whatever else I could be.

TLDR: my bf is a sack of shit but I have no friends so I’m scared to break up with him and be lonely because I fear having no friends again.

I honestly dont even know how to title this, its just some random rambles that my chaotic adhd brain wants to dump here.

I first off want to say that I dont hate men. I love men. I have 3 sons, a brother, a father, male friends and a bf that i all love dearly. Its just that I do a lot of reading online, in here but also in mens spaces and some behavior some men have i just dislike and dont understand.

One of these things I recently learned about is virtue signaling. The men talking about this say that when women say that we like personality over appearance that theyre lying and virtue signaling. They truly believe that unless they are in the top 10% of handsome men that they dont deserve love and will never be chosen and that makes me feel a bit sad for them. But no amount of talking to these men will change their mind cause they will just say that youre lying. I can only assume that these men either have a personality that scares away women, or are trying to aim to high and only go after models who go after that 10% of men.

Cause we average women truly dont care that much about appearance. I can of course only speak for me and the women in my surroundings, we're not all the same obviously. And yes there has to be some sort of spark for attraction, but I feel like men heavily underestimate what difference confidence and a good personality make.

I am an old woman tho, maybe that has also changed my whole perspective on appearance. Appearance will fade as you get older, but having someone that truly loves you is so valueable. I was in a bad marriage and then i met a man who treats me so well. We started off as friends and i honestly wasnt even interested in him. Until we started to get a bit flirty and suddenly that spark came and i fell in love with him.

Anyway that was my rant. Dinner is some pasta recipe i found on insta.

I'm in a super shitty spot rn and kind of couch surfing. After things didn't work out with a friend I was staying with my hinge date let me stay with him. He felt like the sun. He had everything I could only dream of in a person. And I'm a homeless freshly divorced 20 yr old and generally a mess. In the three weeks I had with him I watched his life and realized how I had been treated and how I treated others was far from normal. I realized making fuck you money was an option. I really didn't realize everything that was normal to him could be extended to me if I worked hard enough. So now I have to get my life together and be mentally, physically and financially so I can fulfill my dream of having a husband and family that love me because as things are I'm not someone that someone like him could love. I really have my work cut out for me. I smoke, drink too much, cry constantly, pretty much always have something bad going on.. also I realized I'm a sex addict because he didn't want to have sex as much as I did so I broke up with him to fuck someone I knew before him. I don't know why I did that. I moved states and cities again and now I'm going celibate, quitting weed and vapes, getting stronger so I can join the military and not be such a waste of space and potential.

I can't stop thinking about him and he probably hates me cus I low key cheated but it is what it is. Lesson learned. Next time I won't be such a piece of shit.

Navy beans, eggs and sunflower seeds.

Did not taste good at all but it cost literal pennies and has 32g of protein.

Idk how people say eating healthy is too expensive man just accept it will either be expensive or not very tasty if u wanna get ripped u do what u got to.

Hai! F24...I work in a grocery store as a cashier and I got Intel that the guy I wanna be friends with is single and I think he's genuinely cool. I guess the single part doesn't particularly matter I was just told this yesterday. I'm guessing my coworker thinks I wanna date him but, I genuinely I wanna be friends with him first above all else !! He wasn't here today and I had to ask when he does work again and when I did things were perfectly fine until some customer butted into it's a mind conversation with my coworkers and not. It was just super awkward when it didn't need to be cause I didn't ask the customer in the first place.... Why she didn't know my relationship to the person so or what the conversation was really about. So I don't know why she insisted on butting it in the first place. But oh well, I guess I'll try again tomorrow. 😭🤦🏾‍♀️

The question I had asked was already answered for me. Anyway, I just wanted some extra clarification. And again, I was asking about work, so I don't know why this this customer insisted on butting into my conversation like it didn't involve you !! But anyways !! What do I do? Should I at least try getting his number? His socials? I mean dating isn't out the question I guess but I want to be his friends at least. I try befriend all who I work with.

Men and women are welcomed on giving advice!

Meal tiramasu from my job.

My post keeps getting deleted and downvoted. So I'm trying again because I need advice.

Edit: why is this getting downvoted ? 😭

Edit: why is everyone so mad at me ? I asked for advice but I'm getting down votes and angry replies 😓

Eta and edited for more info: so uh, thanks i guess. I truly appreciate those that informed me of united way as i didnt know about that before. I also appreciate those who offered support and other resources. But I think my PPD is getting to me pretty bad with the negative comments especially the ones saying i should have terminated/just put them up for adoption, etc... so im just gonna stop responding in general.

I (25F) had my child recently. Born healthy, pregnancy went really well with minimal complications.

I live in a blue state in the USA with decent benefits regarding pregnancy and post birth coverage. My partner and I finally saved up enough money to be able to afford first, last, and security on a new apartment as out lease ends next month and it is not guaranteed that we will be able to renew our lease. We were finally doing well.

Being in a blue state with those state benefits in mind, I thought things were going to continue to go well after my child was born.

Apparently I was wrong.

I applied for the benefits before I gave birth since I knew the date I was being induced would qualify as my first day away from work and after that it said I was qualified for temporary disability (which my company needs their approval before they will pay me even though i was approved through my job) for about two months and about a month after that for bonding. Mostly because I contributed enough of my paychecks to the state fund over time to be able to use it.

I felt pretty good about the application, I got all the necessary paperwork and got my doctors to fill it out and everything was submitted on time if not early.

A couple weeks ago I called the state to ask why my leave wasn't approved yet and they said it was because it was in review and they needed to finish it. Told me to wait for something in the mail. Okay cool, no payments but we have enough to scrape by for this month as long as we cut down on food spending and use less gas etc. (I was denied wic and snap as I made 50$ too much on one of my paystubs)

A day after that my partners car breaks down with all three of us in it. We try to call AAA but his membership expired. He makes a new membership and we pay the hundred something dollars for it and call to get a tow. The woman on the phone said because we made the account that day, we would still have to pay for a tow in full. So there went 200$ more.

My car currently is not working well but we managed to only go to appointments for our child and make it home safely until his car got repaired.

The shop we brought his car to blessed us and only charged 1500 for the work. At the other shop (a chain) we originally planned to bring it to, it would have been around 5000.

So we slap that on a credit card to make sure we have enough for our next apartment and still have the rest of our emergency fund.

Fast forward to last week. I called the state again to ask why im still not being paid for my leave. My bills haven't stopped. The utility bills came in way more expensive than usual and the saved money is disappearing fast to take care of our child. Formula isnt lasting long, pumping isnt working (my supply went from 4oz every 3 hours to 1 ounce every 6). I also found out today he has a milk allergy so they changed us to a more expensive formula and i can no longer offer breastmilk anyway. Things are piling up.

And the state said it was still in review. A month and a half later it hasn't been touched. So they said a manager would call me back.

10 minutes later I get an email saying I got denied. They said "there is no illness for which benefits can be paid". I was already approved by my job but they could not pay me until the state approved me.

The manager calls me and said to correct some information and submit a new application. I asked how long it would take to review and she said to call back NEXT THURSDAY to see if they even RECEIVED IT because theyre "too busy".

I told her if it doesnt go through I will not have enough for the rent next month and will be homeless if they wont renew my lease.

And she said

"Sorry, that sucks." And hung up.

So after submitting the new application I've called a few times (providing the phone auto hangs up for the first 20 calls i tried and then got put on hold for 4 hours once i actually got through). They said it will take about 6 additional weeks for review.

My partner had applied for leave for one month and due to a "clerical error" was only approved for 10 days.

We're selling everything we can to afford the more expensive formula, finding every coupon we can, getting every free sample can possible. I cancelled appointments for my health so we could avoid the expensive copays, which sucks because i currently have a double ear infection, leg/neck pains and i think BV starting. The postpartum depression is getting worse by the day. My child is losing their pediatrician because they need new insurance from the state since i cannot afford the one we had before anymore. We cant afford childcare because its more than a rent payment every month and somehow i dont qualify for childcare assistance either (???) My credit score is starting to take hits. My 780 score that took years to build is starting to tank.

Everything we have built together is crumbling to the ground and im watching my future slip away.

The hormones are already killing me, im beyond depressed, having a panic attack that feels like its lasted multiple weeks in a row, and physically feeling horrible on top of it.

Im worried the state will take my child away and use state funds to take care of them when at the same time they refused benefits to us and put us in this situation to begin with.

I dont know what to do anymore.

We wont be able to afford everything next month.

Ive been homeless before as a teen and managed to work my way to an apartment with my partner but this is different.

Im scared, sleep deprived, sad... a bit of everything rn. I spent the whole night crying, trying not to wake my partner so he wouldn't be too tired for work today.

Im beyond ashamed to call this country my home.

Girl breakfast: popcorn cause its cheap asf

Pictured: breakfast on the balcony of a recent cruise with wifey

I know this is ridiculously irrational but here goes: I’m in a loving, fulfilling relationship. My wife makes me feel loved and beautiful and sexy and desired. That’s not the problem.

We’re nonmonogamous, which is also not the problem. The issue is I always feel like my wife and our best friend who often is in sexy situations with us get all the attention. Maybe it’s because I’m a top/domme and I’m expected to take the lead. Maybe it’s because I’m fat and they’re not. I know I’m pretty and I know I’m sexy. I’m interesting and smart and kind. I just feel like they usually get aggressively pursued/get people who just go crazy over them and I just….don’t.

I just want to be wildly wanted by someone other than my wife. Sigh.

I'd been seeing a guy for a few months, who I knew about 12 years ago when we had a bit of a thing. It had been *intensely* good catching up with him, I hadn't felt like this in so long. I have been mostly single for the last 5 years, so I was excited about where this was going and so was he - that's what he said anyway. I was so vulnerable with him, and I don't usually open up like that quickly but I thought this was different because there was a history and I already knew him. He was also really vulnerable which made me feel safe in a weird way.

Then last week I got a friend's request on Instagram from his ex, I sent him the screenshot and he confirmed it was her. We have no mutual friends so I did assume it was her. This may have opened communication between them again, and this morning he said they're going to 'talk' and 'haven't worked out' what they're going to do yet. I just said I don't want to get in the middle of anything and after he'd apologised he just said goodbye in a text.

To add insult to injury I ended things with him the first time around 12 years ago, because I wanted to try and give things a go with my bf at the time. I feel like this is karma slapping me across the face ngl. I'm so hurt.

Dinner is chickpea curry, flatbread, salad and greek yogurt.

18 yo here. I literally just lost my virginity last Wednesday. I was pretty drunk off my ass (apparently made out with some random girl at the party I was at), so looking back I probably wouldn’t have sex with him again because I’m not really attracted to him. The dick was really good though, ngl chubby dudes know how to put it tf down. Also would like to thank the members of this sub for talking me out of scootering to another dick appointment on Saturday when I wasn’t on BC. Wasn’t worth the risk. Anyways, I decided that I want to go out and do it again but on birth control (specifically the generic version of the O Pill from walgreens). I don’t plan on ever letting a man shoot the club up, so that’s not the issue, it’s more of me just being worried about something fucking malfunctioning. I take the pill everyday at 5:30pm. Tomorrow I will have been on it for 48 hours, which according to the box is the minimum amount of time you should wait before doing anything unprotected. I’m ovulating rn, but apparently the O pill just thickens your uterine lining to prevent sperm from entering 98% of the time. I googled it and it does say it works at any stage of the cycle. Still scared though, how are people having babies on the pill/condom combo? I do have shit to lose, I have a full ride scholarship and a future wlw relationship to lose (I’m only romantically attracted to women, so I don’t even try to get to know the dudes who hmu i get straight to the point).

Today I had ramen in my friend’s dorm room.

Casino pork ribs, fries, milky corn for dinner ✨

This was entirely my fault, by the way. I think I might have acted a little too desperate, and he took advantage of the situation to treat me however he liked.
Before I narrate weird stuff, just know that I had him begging in the end and satisfactorily blocked him everywhere 😊🧹

I’m 26F, he’s 35M.

We met on Bumble but I didn’t like the attention I was getting on that app so I deleted and lost contact with all my matches. Before that, he’d shared some personal details with me and I reached out to him on LinkedIn (I know, shouldn’t have!!!)
We got talking.
I should have known something was off with him from the start. He was treating me as one would treat a younger sister and not a partner, saying stuff like, “Do you know how to be a girlfriend?”
“Women want to be in relationships but don’t know how to work hard to get picked.”
“You have to put in the work to get that ring.”
“Men control access to relationships.”
“I really like women who are submissive, and let a guy be in charge.”

I know, I should have run away, but I stayed because I wanted someone desperately. He seemed to have his life together and traveled a lot, kept fit, maintained a healthy diet. But he had one of these archaic mentalities where women need to bow down to men for whatever.
I thought he was very serious because he expressed his desire to start a family, which is something I also want very much. He was asking me stuff like what type of wedding I would want, how many people I would want to invite, bla bla bla.
We were kind of long-distance but in the same state, so we planned to meet.

Along the line, their company had a massive layoff (one of the larger tech companies) and he was affected. I was very supportive and encouraging, texting several times throughout the day to make sure he was okay.
Because he was spending money on his flight and hotel to come visiting for the first time, I offered to pay for our dinner. Even though I was having a very rough patch at the time, but I figured he lost his job recently so I wanted to take some cost of the trip. He booked a trip for just a day because he needed to be somewhere else to support a friend the next day.

When we met, it wasn’t great.
He had poor manners and washed his hands in the water glass at lunch. I’m not lying, this isn’t rage bait, the glass was full and had ice floating around the top. He’d eaten something greasy with his hands and dripped his finger tips into the glass to rinse. He ate meat with his bare hands at dinner, which I paid $163 for. At least he thanked me for the expenditure.
When we went back to the hotel, nothing happened that night but when we went to sleep, he kept complaining that I was moving around too much on the bed, even though he snored like a dusty faulty choo-choo train all night and I couldn’t sleep one wink.
My period was around the corner and my PMS comes with major fatigue and general unwellness.
I got up with a banging headache in the morning and had to complain a few times before he went to get Tylenol grudgingly.
I was finally trying to sleep when I noticed him packing his stuff. He said he was bored in there and was leaving. I’m like, I’m trying to get some rest. He says he doesn’t care, he can’t be cooped up indoors all day long.

I had to get up and get moving too. I was so tired but he wanted to see my city’s mall. He made me walk all the way around from end to end and I tried not to complain.
Eventually, he told me I’m such a boring person and doesn’t know how to show someone around, even though he knew I felt unwell.

Finally, before I dropped him off at the airport, he made me take him to a bar at 2 PM to get a beer.
He then started asking me what I felt about everything. He told me, “we’re not yet boyfriend and girlfriend”.
I asked why, even though at that point I didn’t care anymore.
We’d had that conversation before and he’d said the same thing.
He said these things take time and we’ve only just met, so he will decide eventually.
I asked him what all the time we’ve been talking this past month meant.
He told me I was pressuring him, I was pressing him bla bla bla.
He proceeded to tell me he wanted me to remove the locs in my hair.
I said no, I will not. He said he thought I was submissive.
Then he proceeded to joke that, “oh well, I guess you can’t be submissive to a guy who doesn’t have a job.”

Rant cut short, when he landed at his destination, I sent him the biggest stinker I’ve ever sent anyone. I called out all his bad behavior and inconsiderate actions. He sent a lengthy epistle apologizing, asking for a second chance.

Dude, blocked beyond repair.

I will never tolerate such a situation in my life again.

Food- warmed up frozen chicken patty, cheese, and pickles on a burger bun and a wild berry poppi

Me and my girlfriend have a close friend from before we were together and she has always had a not quite platonic, not quite romantic relationship with us. We all flirt with each other etc.

One day she told us about having romantic feelings for us both but me and my girlfriend decided it probably wasn't the best idea because she was going to be moving about 6 hours away for college. That was quite literally the only reason we had said no. We figured it wouldn't be fair to her that me and my girlfriend get to see each other whenever we want while she is so far away.

She agreed and our relationship had not really changed. We said our goodbyes when she had moved up to her university. She has been there for about a week now and has met another girl and they got together already.

I feel almost regret and a little sad about it. I've talked with my girlfriend about this and she knows everything about how I feel. We are very comfortable together and trust each other a lot so there's no negative feelings between us (I love her so much).

But I also know that we said no so I can't expect her to just not move on and find someone else but I just felt so blindsided too. Yesterday day she just randomly texted our group chat and said guess what, I'm on a date with my girlfriend. There was no lead up or anything. It makes me feel so awful for feeling this way because she's such a close friend and I want to be so happy for her but i feel like our dynamic between the 3 of us will be different now.

Anyways theres my ramble about a situation that was entirely my own doing, thank you for reading if you've made it down this far.

So it's my firsy day of school..

So for starters I come to school, my usual spot is fucking taken by someone else, thank you because of course we're 5 year olds who can't understand that once we have a spot it's ours for the rest of the high school era ( we have our own classes, I don't live in the USA so yeah it's different). Which okay isn't the way it is but you get it I'm mad 

So i sit at the middle row and in the first desk, I don't mind sitting in the first desk but there's a problem. One of my teachers sits there and puts his things there so there's another free desk behind me and my friend , well idk if i can call her my friend but I guess she's fine, I'll explain later.. asked me to sit with her. So I was sceptical but then I agreed. And I'm not trying to be rude here or anything but she's.. and I'm so sorry for saying this, she's kind of dumb

 I'm not the one to judge honestly and I mean absolutely no wrong but yeah, she doesn't have lile rhe worst grades but she's like.. stupid in the normal " everyone gets this" way

 I won't get into detail but I'm scared that I'll get dumb from her, WHICH IS STUPID I KNOW but we get lile the people we surrounder each other with. And another thing which.. I'll have to be very straightforward to her about, is that.. she asks my other friend for quick like, teach me this, before an exam or give me questions or explain this. And while once in a while it's oaky but if i NEED to focus I won't be able to explain it to her and I just don't want to do that when i need to revise on my own and i have hard time making boundaries. Ik it's mean but when it's before a test I need to study on my own and this girl seems like she doesn't study at all at home and expects her friends teach her the topic before an exam.

I know I could sit in the first desk instead of moving with my friend but it would be weird since I would be alone there and B) my teacher often sits there, it's not his desk it's ours but he just explains from there often. 

I'm mad that my classmates took my spot from last year. 

My other friend who sat with me the other year sat woth me in the first desk but then she came to me and started explaining that she doesn't like to sit in the front because the teacher will pick on her and ask her more questions, I wasn't olay with that, I liked sitting with her, so I just said fine and she sat with someone else.

Another thing AGAIN my teacher asked me not to be so sad. I HATE THIS SHIT. i told him that this is just my normal expression. And he just nodded in this way that seemed like he thinks I'm lying. No I'm not. I wasn't sad. I wasn't sad at all.

I hate this. And above else.. my friend, which is like my i would say the friend i trust the most, we didn't talk much and it wasn't okay like i wanted to. 

Nobody even looked at me in class and none of my classmates like talking to me. 

I know it's my fault for isolating myself but i think it's too sealed for me. Everyone has their friends and it wouldn't emd up good if i tried to fit in somewhere as for I can tell no one wants me around.

I don't get what's so wrong with me.

This isn't the way I wanted the first day to go. Help me navigate this.

The desk situation is really making me angry, I don't know if I should stay with classmate in the second desk or move to the first one but my teacher puts his things there often.

Rice and dhal because I’m tired and can’t manage cooking tonight. Sorry i couldn’t share a final result, I kinda forgot.

idk if this is against the rules but im happy with men commenting

I was thinking, I’ve been having issues with identity for a while. I was born a guy, and all my friend say i still look like one, no matter how much i try to change it. to be clear, im trans/genderfluid/genderqueer.

I’ve been struggling in everything for a while, it feels like the world is coming down on me. no one accepts me, and even though some people do, it still feels like the evil ones have a larger control.

I also really have been overwhelmed with changing my body. changing clothes, piercing ears, doing all that doesn’t seem to satisfy others. they still see me as a guy. it’s truly impossible to change myself, isn’t it? I’ll never look like what I want to, but even then it doesn’t let me look like what I want to.

they said the world was my oyster, but oysters don’t live that long.

So my emotionally abusive ex and I were together 2 years and she was aware of issues they had I remember a couple months in our relationship they warned me of their moods and that they didn’t think I’d be able to handle it. Also other things they said in the past makes me know they’re aware of issues they have. She also self diagnoses herself with things yet refused to seek any help for anything in our relationship despite me begging her to I even offered her to join me in my therapist appointments but she didn’t want to. Why is that and do you think she’ll ever realize she needs help and changes? Do you think they would have changed if I gave more time?

Edit the day I broke up with her our roomate said she was supposedly looking into therapy but idk if I believe that especially since she didn’t tell me herself and I had to breakup with her twice to even potentially consider it

i have this on again off again thing with this guy and i’m. in love. with this man. he is kind, funny and attentive.

this summer he contacts me and we start up again. he’s texting me, calling me drunk saying we’re soulmates. he lives 2h away in his hometown but he’s near me for school

and then he gets here and it’s radio silence

he says he wands to me freinds. he’s going through a lot and just needs space

in fact he doesn’t want me contacting him at all for a month

i can do that! he says a romantic relationship isn’t off the table it’s just not right now as he’s overwhelmed. in fact he’s not interested in seeing ANYONE

i tell him it’s okay if he’s not interested. that if he dosent want to talk it’s fine he just needs to let me know so we’re on the same page i won’t be offended

he posts on his story today kissing someone else.

i’m heartbroken. how did someone who was so kind to me end up lying to me in this way.

giant pretzle

reuploading due to formatting issues sorry....but these oxtail fries with truffle sauce tho 😍😍😍

Last week, I (17F) told my boyfriend (17M) I was gonna go see the Spider-Man movie with a friend of mine (18M) this Thursday and he asked if the friend was a guy or a girl, I told him he's a guy so now he won't speak to me at all 🫩 he ranted about how I'm disrespectful, and if he did the same with a female friend I would react even worse (mind you he has close female friends and I've never brought it up as an issue, because I'm not insecure). this isnt the only time he's reacted badly to me going out to be social at all but its definitely the worst. he hasn't spoke to me in days now I'm so confused idk what to do!!!!!!!!!!

I'm 19 for reference. I found a guy who I had seen around in-person before on social media the other day, and we started chatting a bit. He was really nice but very open about his lifestyle. He drinks, he smokes, he vapes, and he parties. Nothing wrong with that but that's the complete opposite of me. We discussed meeting up, but I almost almost canceled mainly because it wouldn't go anywhere anyways because we're so different in that aspect. I ended up going anyways and honestly I'm glad because the date actually went really well and we got along way better in-person. He was kind, respectful, and there wasn't any awkward silence or anything. Completely not what I expected. He's my type physically and emotionally except for the stuff I mentioned above. My friend's are saying I can be "captain save a hoe" but I truly don't have any problem with his life and I'm not trying to change anything about him but at the same time I know it's not for me and I wouldn't want to be with someone long-term like that. Would it be bad to just keep it lighthearted and still go out with him?