Hey guys and girls of reddit, I'm 14.5 and male, just to explain a bit.

I have an Australian girlfriend. And I'm American, we met like, 10 or 11 days ago, and been together for about 8 days now.(I know, awfully quick) And at first, we were flirtatious, happy, enjoying each other.

But recently that's started to change.

So, for like the first 5 days I would be telling her stuff, like, really deeply, maybe even getting into my emotions a little bit. But mostly just opening my heart up to her, nice and full, letting her know all my flaws n' shit...

She wouldn't really have any much of a big/deep response, but I understood she knew where I was coming from.

But now, the past few days are difficult... We talk on insta, and I noticed she started following this kinda nice looking dude (and btw I'm not so nice looking myself, I got a sharp jawline and sly mouth, but my cheeks are kinda round) and I decided to not question her about it, because she never questioned anyone I followed, and it could also start a needless argument (but now looking back it honestly may have been better to deal with that uncomfortable argument...)

A few days ago, she said she would be spending time with her family like, all month, which is a bit understandable, if it weren't for that fact that today I was left on seen for every message, no reply. Didn't even try, even if I asked a question.

And when this first happened by the way, I kinda got freaked out and got really emotional and scared and messaged her this whole long thing about how if she was feeling something that she could talk to me and we could work it out, blah blah blah...

And I got in contact with a couple family members trying to get to her, they all kinda ignored me, and when she finally replied it was telling me that she was really busy that day and her phone was dead and she had no internet and she was really tired and going to bed.

And I told her that's fine, and that I was sorry for panicking so hard, and that I hoped she slept well.

But then next day same thing happened, only this time I didn't freak out, and then at the end of the day I asked what she was doing, and that's when she told me she was gonna be busy all month,.and by the way, that day when I was freaking out was when I found out about that new guy she was following.

So that's kinda all for right now, might add more if more comes but that's about all for now, it's 4:30 AM, I need to try and sleep because I got class in the morning, I'll check back in the morning...

Edit: Thank you all so much for the support, info, and for holding up the mirror (pointing out my red flags) this has really helped me quite a bit, as this is my first (at the very least, kind of) serious relationship. and i didn't know what i was doing, and you all have really changed my perspective, and helped me understand this crazy shit a bit more, now it doesn't seem so crazy...

Alt account for obvious reason, I need to know if i'm insane or not.

We are both in our early 20s, and we have been together for nearly 10 months. He's the best thing I couldve asked for - polite, nice, always ready to help, wants to take responsibility.

He knows that i'm on reddit, and a couple of months ago I mentioned a comment I posted underneath a post in a niche subreddit. He found the comment, and therefore found my account.

Well, he went down my account and looked around a bit. When he told me I was really uncomfortable because, well, its reddit. I post things here that go from somewhat to very personal, and I did it under the cover of me being anonymous.

I said something today that struck a nerve (his words, not mine), so he went onto my reddit account and read out the first story. It wasn't anything crazy, but underneath it was an INCREDIBLY personal post that I didn't want him to read.

I hung up and deleted it, and I'm still pissed off. He repeatedly said that he's sorry, how my account was still there in his different profile on the search engine, and he had an easy way to find my profile again. He wanted to be

"playful"

I wouldn't even make this post, except this isn't even the first time! I was asking in a subreddit related to something he likes, because i wanted to get ideas for a gift. I told him about the post and he found it! He said that he found it adorable, but I told him before that it's creepy.

I need to know if i'm overreacting/crazy right now. I wouldnt even find this so bad, if it weren't for the repeating behavior..

hello , still griving my break up , can a men love you and still break up with you because he feels like he can't give u the attention you deserve? he worship his alone time and work a lot (but it was so much for me and i asked him for more presence and it was reasnable i took into considération him being tired and his working hours)

My boyfriend moved in with me after 2 years of LD. The gap has finally been closed. Throughout our LDR we've seen each other in person a few times and we talked everyday on the phone. I expected for there to be some miscommunication within the move in but it's been a lot. The constant leaving food and dishes on the counters and sinks after I've asked multiple times to clean. He's been late on rent twice. I'm actually paying most of the rent. He's not on the lease so I'm in a situation where if this doesn't work out, I don't know how to kick him out. I've given him a letter that lets him know he has 30 days to prepare.

When he was in his state, we discussed finances and how he would get any job asap. He got a job at a grocery store in a month, which is fine for the time being. A job is a job, but also he wants more than that. He says he applies for jobs all the time, but when I see him he's playing video games. I'm a gamer so I don't mind games but I think certain things should be prioritized. I know for a fact he has not applied for jobs in over a month.

Whenever I bring up finances, planning or anything about wanting more for ourselves, it becomes an argument. We argue so much and it's taking a toll on our mental health. If it's not him leaving his clothes and food out, it's him emotionally dumping on me when I'm not in a space to receive it, not paying rent on time, white-lying, overtalking, or not letting me get a word in. I've tried nudging and encouraging him, but I feel I've done all that I could. I've bought him finance and self help books, and a journal. I offered to go on walks and the gym with him. I also found out he owes two friends money.. so there seems to be a pattern of oweing money. After many arguments... I've come to the conclusion that he maybe depressed without even knowing it? I'm thinking that could be the cause of all of our arguments and the lack of motivation.

Now the mistakes I've made. I get mad and frustrated with him for doing all of the things I've asked him to stop doing. I carry the mental load. He'll say things like "I promise I'll never do it again." Then he'll do it again and again and again. I lose my shit. I have so much resentment. I've failed to see he's depressed and I do think I could do a better job at helping him out of it.

It's like the person I thought he was, he isn't. When he's himself he's so kind and funny BUT there's just a lot of flaws I didn't know he had and I don't want in a person. I'm kinda hanging on in hopes he'd change within the 30 days or maybe I'm just being too hard on him. What are your thoughts, have you been in my situation and what would you do in my situation?

TLDR: Depressed boyfriend moved in with me and it's been absolute hell. Constant arguments. Isn't paying rent on time. Hoping he'd change. Not sure what to do.

me and my gf are long distance and she’s going to be in china for school for a while and i’m in the US she’ll either be using a chromebook or getting a dell laptop and i’m on xbox i’m trying to figure out the best way for us to still do stuff together while she’s over there especially watching movies together like if i screen share netflix or youtube to her can she actually see and hear everything on her end or does netflix just give her a black screen i know discord is blocked over there so i’m wondering if zoom works better for screen sharing or if there’s another app that works better also what vpns actually work in china right now because i don’t want to pay for one that barely works or stops working once she gets there and it would be nice if it worked on both her phone and laptop and could let her use stuff like discord youtube instagram etc for gaming i’m on xbox and she’ll be on pc so i’m also looking for games we can play together that actually work with xbox and pc crossplay and preferably stuff we can play for a long time together not just quick games basically i’m just trying to figure out everything we can use to talk watch movies play games and hang out while she’s in china and what stuff i should set up or download before she leaves if anyone has done long distance between the US and china or has a gf/bf over there i’d really appreciate any advice or things i might be missing

My family lives in New Zealand, recently I went on holiday to see my mother’s side of the family, they live in England.

I met almost my perfect type, he is entertaining and romantic and healthy and cocky.

We’ve been “dating” for a month, but now I am going home to NZ. I have to decide whether I go back to Eng in February with my mum, who is moving there no matter, and start university, or stay in NZ.

Pros of Eng Uni -
A new country to explore (one I love)
The Boy, (who is obsessed with me, he will wait for me)
Cheaper then NZ, (I won’t be paying rent)
My mum will be with me

Cons - i will not see my immediate family, (dad & siblings i am very close to)

What is everyone’s advice? What should I do with my life next year? How do I keep my relationship with this boy going?

So i(21m) have a LDR and my girlfriend(21f) stays farrrr.. today she is on her periods and she has to commute everyday through the bus to go to her college... But one of her batchmates asked her to go on a bike with him.. she agreed that I don't feel it is wrong but it just makes me feel like trash for some reason.. i tried to call her and tell her that I'll book a cab for her but before that she stopped responding.. 😭

Me (M21) and my gf (F23) have been dating for 2 and a half years now. We used to call every day for hours. Playing games, watching videos together, etc.. It was CONSTANT. Although in the first year I wanted to have my own time as well and we got into a lot of arguments about that, I changed for her and started spending WAY more time with her.

Lately she's barely texting, when she does it takes 5-6 hours and it's short. Her excuse is she's "physically exhausted" and can't text like she used to. Me, not wanting to overreact, I acknowledged it and got busy myself. The emotion and the way she talks remained, the frequency is what changed.

When she visited in person 2 weeks ago I noticed she kept hiding her phone and closing it whenever I got close. Found out later it was Character AI. I told her early in our relationship I used to use it too (not anymore though) so I don't get why she'd hide it from me specifically. It weirded me out A LOT but I didn't confront her or anything.

Now she's basically swapped our calls for being on Character AI and listening to music most of the day. I'm very concerned because this started happening a month ago when she started skipping out every day of work because of her headaches, later I come to find out she's been texting with Character AI this whole time instead.

Not sure if I'm overreacting or if this is a real red flag. Anyone been through something similar?

After 2 years almost 3,000 miles apart, I officially moved to canada! Super super easy country to migrate too! I hope all my ldr couples have this ending...stick with it, the rewards are so sweet!!

This is the first day of our LDR. After almost 2 years of being physically together, we are now apart. We will not see each other in person for 3 years. It sucks, you know, and I'm gonna miss her so much. She is in the US and I am here in the Philippines. Do you guys have any tips on how to deal with this kind of situation?

My boyfriend and I have been doing long distance for over a year now and I genuinely feel like I’m losing my mind sometimes. I love him so much and I DO NOT want to break up with him, which is why I’m even posting this. I want to figure out how to cope with this because I feel like the distance is starting to bring out the worst in me.
Whenever we haven’t seen each other for a while I start getting so emotional and frustrated. I miss him so fucking much that it almost turns into anger?? Like I’ll start getting mad at him, picking fights, overthinking everything, or feeling like he doesn’t care enough when realistically I think I’m just fucking sad that I can’t see my boyfriend.
Then after I calm down I feel terrible because I’m like why am I taking this out on HIM when the actual problem is that I miss him?? It’s like the longer we’re apart, the more anxious and resentful I get until I eventually explode. And then the second we’re actually together again I’m like oh… THIS is what I’ve been missing. I just want to be able to have a normal relationship where I can see my boyfriend without having to constantly plan trips and count down the days.
We’ve been doing this for over a YEAR and I’m exhausted. The thought of continuing long distance with no end in sight genuinely makes me panic sometimes. But the thought of breaking up with him makes me panic too because that isn’t what I want at all. I don’t want somebody else. I want HIM. I just don’t want this situation anymore.
Has anyone else gotten to this point in a LDR? Like where you love the person but you’re so fucking tired of missing them that you start getting angry at them for being gone?
How do you stop taking that frustration out on your partner? And how do you cope when you have no idea when the distance is actually going to end?
Please don’t just say “break up.” I know ending the relationship is technically an option. I’m asking because I DON’T want to do that. I want to know how people actually survived this without completely losing their minds or ruining their relationship.

previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/LDR/comments/1uvv7je/23m_stuck_in_a_3year_ldr_with_23f_she_loves_me/

I’ve tried everything to break up with my long distance girlfriend in a nice way. Every time I try, she insists on staying, finds a weak spot to exploit, and uses it to convince me to stay. At one point, I just started going cold.

Now, she has used all her savings to book a flight back home. She did this while already facing a serious debt situation, and she hasn't even told her family she's coming back or that she’s skipping a week of her lectures.

She wants us to live together for 7 days and says she will be OK breaking up after that. Her excuse is that having those 7 days of memories will be enough for her lifetime, and she claims she will never find another man after this. To me, this sounds extremely dramatic, but I'm still worried about her.

I don't feel like living together for a week is the right thing to do. I no longer have the emotional attachment required to live with her, and it feels morally wrong to do that with someone I intend to break up with. I honestly can't tell if she is trying to manipulate me into falling for her again through lust.

I tried explaining my side completely. I told her that staying in this relationship is severely impacting my mental health to the point where I feel seriously ill, but she refuses to listen. She just says she faces the exact same mental toll and asks me to handle it but I can't do this forever, especially since she still has 5 years left of her studies.

Her reasoning is that since I've tried everything on my end before coming to this conclusion, but she hasn't tried yet, she needs to come visit so we can start seeing each other very often. But I know this won't work. I'll just be miserable again in a month, and neither of us is in a financial position to meet frequently given our other financial priorities.

She is set to arrive in a few days now. I really don't know how to handle this situation without becoming her trauma.

I’m 28F, and my boyfriend is 28M. We’re both INFPs and in a long-distance relationship. I live in Asia, while he lives in Europe. For the most part, we were a very happy and loving couple. Things were okay until I discovered that he still had a connection with his ex. When I asked him about it, he explained that the only reason they were still in contact was because his ex had borrowed a game from him and hadn’t returned it yet. I told him honestly that I was uncomfortable with them still being connected, and I asked if he could unfriend her.

I even offered to buy him the same game because it was available where I live, so he wouldn’t have to maintain contact with his ex just to get it back.
He became very upset and told me that one of his principles is that when you borrow something from someone, you should return it. I understood his point, and I didn’t want to disrespect his principles, but at the same time, my discomfort was genuine. Eventually, after several arguments, he agreed to unfriend her.
Things went back to normal afterward, but honestly, I feel like something changed between us.
Little by little, he started opening up to me about his mental struggles. He told me that opening up to people is extremely difficult for him and that he sometimes feels like he’s in a very dark place. There was one point when he stopped talking to me for three days. Eventually, he apologized and told me that he would try to be better for me. I tried to understand because I knew he was struggling.

But now it has happened again.
He told me that he is in a very dark place, and he hasn’t talked to me for more than a week. I’ve tried reaching out. I’ve been patient. I’ve tried to give him space because I know he is struggling. But at this point, I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. I feel like I’ve been ghosted. And I’m struggling because I really love him. I’ve tried so hard to be patient and understanding with him. I’ve tried to make space for his struggles and never wanted him to feel like he had to be okay all the time just to be loved by me.

I don’t know if I’m looking for advice, reassurance, or maybe I just need somewhere to let this out. I genuinely don’t know what I need to hear right now.
I just feel incredibly hurt.

I’m 19M and recently transferred to a new university. About two weeks into the semester, I met an exchange student who I’ll call Val. We’ve gotten really close really quickly, spending hours talking, walking around campus, getting food, hanging out, etc. It’s clearly become more than a friendship, and we’ve both admitted that we have feelings for each other.

The problem is that she goes back to her home country in about 5 months.

We talked about it, and she basically said she wants to try being together for now and not worry too much about what happens when she leaves. When the time comes, we can figure it out.

I’m struggling with that because I’m not sure I want a long-distance relationship, especially when we don't know when we'd see each other again. If I'm being completely honest, if she were staying at my university for the next few years, I know I would want to be her boyfriend.

But knowing there's a very real possibility that we'd have to end things in 5 months makes me wonder if starting a relationship is actually a good idea. I don't want something that's meaningful to both of us to turn into something that feels like it had an expiration date. At the same time, I don't know if avoiding it would just leave me wondering what could have happened.

I’m not really looking for “follow your heart” or “you only live once” advice. I’d genuinely like to hear from people who have been in a similar situation.

If you knew you really liked someone but also knew they were leaving the country in 5 months, would you pursue it anyway? And if you’ve been through something similar, did you regret trying or regret not trying?

okay hi me and my boyfriend just started doing long distance. he went to college states away and it’s been less than a week and i feel awful. like genuinely a pit in my stomach, i feel so lost and sad. He means a lot to me and i really want our relationship to make it through. lots of people have said that our relationship is very strong and it makes me feel better but idk i just overthink a lot which is already kind of taking a toll on me. i guess im just worried its gonna feel this hard for the whole long distance. i just already feel disconnected from him. and i just worry so much into the future like what happens after college? will it be more long distance? will we move in together? i’m just scared and need advice.

ways to get through long distance and how to take care of yourself and make it easier please

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Getting married can feel like the obvious part of the immigration process. Then come the questions:

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What happens if we’re living in different countries?
What does the interview actually involve?
And what changes if there’s already an immigration history involved?

I’m hosting an AMA today from 4 PM to 8 PM ET and happy to answer questions about the marriage-based immigration process and the issues couples should understand before making decisions.

Please note: Any information shared here is for general educational purposes only. It does not constitute legal advice or create an attorney client relationship. Your situation may require fact specific guidance. For personalized legal advice, please consult an immigration attorney directly.