My boyfriend moved in with me after 2 years of LD. The gap has finally been closed. Throughout our LDR we've seen each other in person a few times and we talked everyday on the phone. I expected for there to be some miscommunication within the move in but it's been a lot. The constant leaving food and dishes on the counters and sinks after I've asked multiple times to clean. He's been late on rent twice. I'm actually paying most of the rent. He's not on the lease so I'm in a situation where if this doesn't work out, I don't know how to kick him out. I've given him a letter that lets him know he has 30 days to prepare.

When he was in his state, we discussed finances and how he would get any job asap. He got a job at a grocery store in a month, which is fine for the time being. A job is a job, but also he wants more than that. He says he applies for jobs all the time, but when I see him he's playing video games. I'm a gamer so I don't mind games but I think certain things should be prioritized. I know for a fact he has not applied for jobs in over a month.

Whenever I bring up finances, planning or anything about wanting more for ourselves, it becomes an argument. We argue so much and it's taking a toll on our mental health. If it's not him leaving his clothes and food out, it's him emotionally dumping on me when I'm not in a space to receive it, not paying rent on time, white-lying, overtalking, or not letting me get a word in. I've tried nudging and encouraging him, but I feel I've done all that I could. I've bought him finance and self help books, and a journal. I offered to go on walks and the gym with him. I also found out he owes two friends money.. so there seems to be a pattern of oweing money. After many arguments... I've come to the conclusion that he maybe depressed without even knowing it? I'm thinking that could be the cause of all of our arguments and the lack of motivation.

Now the mistakes I've made. I get mad and frustrated with him for doing all of the things I've asked him to stop doing. I carry the mental load. He'll say things like "I promise I'll never do it again." Then he'll do it again and again and again. I lose my shit. I have so much resentment. I've failed to see he's depressed and I do think I could do a better job at helping him out of it.

It's like the person I thought he was, he isn't. When he's himself he's so kind and funny BUT there's just a lot of flaws I didn't know he had and I don't want in a person. I'm kinda hanging on in hopes he'd change within the 30 days or maybe I'm just being too hard on him. What are your thoughts, have you been in my situation and what would you do in my situation?

TLDR: Depressed boyfriend moved in with me and it's been absolute hell. Constant arguments. Isn't paying rent on time. Hoping he'd change. Not sure what to do.

After 2 years almost 3,000 miles apart, I officially moved to canada! Super super easy country to migrate too! I hope all my ldr couples have this ending...stick with it, the rewards are so sweet!!

I’m Amanda Emerson, an immigration attorney at Manifest Law, and I work with family-based immigration, including marriage-based green cards, adjustment of status, and consular processing.

Getting married can feel like the obvious part of the immigration process. Then come the questions:

What forms do we actually file?
Can I stay in the U.S. while my case is pending?
What if the foreign spouse entered on a different visa?
When does work authorization arrive?
What happens if we’re living in different countries?
What does the interview actually involve?
And what changes if there’s already an immigration history involved?

I’m hosting an AMA today from 4 PM to 8 PM ET and happy to answer questions about the marriage-based immigration process and the issues couples should understand before making decisions.

Please note: Any information shared here is for general educational purposes only. It does not constitute legal advice or create an attorney client relationship. Your situation may require fact specific guidance. For personalized legal advice, please consult an immigration attorney directly.

My boyfriend and I have been doing long distance for over a year now and I genuinely feel like I’m losing my mind sometimes. I love him so much and I DO NOT want to break up with him, which is why I’m even posting this. I want to figure out how to cope with this because I feel like the distance is starting to bring out the worst in me.
Whenever we haven’t seen each other for a while I start getting so emotional and frustrated. I miss him so fucking much that it almost turns into anger?? Like I’ll start getting mad at him, picking fights, overthinking everything, or feeling like he doesn’t care enough when realistically I think I’m just fucking sad that I can’t see my boyfriend.
Then after I calm down I feel terrible because I’m like why am I taking this out on HIM when the actual problem is that I miss him?? It’s like the longer we’re apart, the more anxious and resentful I get until I eventually explode. And then the second we’re actually together again I’m like oh… THIS is what I’ve been missing. I just want to be able to have a normal relationship where I can see my boyfriend without having to constantly plan trips and count down the days.
We’ve been doing this for over a YEAR and I’m exhausted. The thought of continuing long distance with no end in sight genuinely makes me panic sometimes. But the thought of breaking up with him makes me panic too because that isn’t what I want at all. I don’t want somebody else. I want HIM. I just don’t want this situation anymore.
Has anyone else gotten to this point in a LDR? Like where you love the person but you’re so fucking tired of missing them that you start getting angry at them for being gone?
How do you stop taking that frustration out on your partner? And how do you cope when you have no idea when the distance is actually going to end?
Please don’t just say “break up.” I know ending the relationship is technically an option. I’m asking because I DON’T want to do that. I want to know how people actually survived this without completely losing their minds or ruining their relationship.

I built a LDR with a very awful young Russian man, wasted my 8 months of time and my money.

I want to vent and tell you guys how awful he is…

His Zodiac is Aries, I heard that Aries man are good…well, this guy totally ruined Aries good traits.

I realized that, an awful man is always a an awful man, no matter what zodiac he is..

So this jerk is in his early 20’s.

In the beginning, he came to chat with me everyday, told me part of his life and his interest, and his views and mindset.

He pretended to be a very positive, honest, happy, working hard and caring person.

After one month, he started to show his true color.

He initiated every unnecessary argument and fight with me, he complained that I didn’t care about his opinion, his thoughts and his feelings. Every time I responded to his message during the argument, he said my attitude toward him is bad, and he got upset and mad no matter what I said.

I did my best to be kind and patient, and he kept blaming me out of blue.

He pointed out what I said made him feel unheard, he texted like a AK47, kept blablabla, kept talking about his thoughts and his feelings.

He never realized his own problems, he didn’t care about my feelings and my thoughts, he never apologized to me.

He always wanted to win the argument/fight, always made me the bad person, even the argument was started from a small tiny thing!

Whenever I tried to explain and told him the facts, he said I was blaming him. And he called me Bitch.

Something I forgot to tell him in the first place, and I told him later, he said I lied and hid, and cheated…

I told him I barely talk to guys, he still said I cheated…

He complained about his mom and his dad, he also called his mom a bitch, once.

He complained his tough life and his country.

He went to visit his childhood female friend, and he came back home in midnight, who knows what he did. And he said he is not a cheating person. I never seen a guy went out with ONE female friend and came home super late, and he acted like nothing happened.

When I told him that I hope he would set up boundaries with that female friend, he started to get mad and said I also chatted with my male friends.

Come on Scumbag, I chatted with my male friends through text, maybe twice a year. What about him?? PHYSICALLY went out with girl and came home super late.

He treated me like a normal acquaintance in general, he treated me hot called me babe after I sent him some money.

He knew some scammers skills, he also taught his female friends how to manipulate guys and let guys give her money.

He gaslighted me many times, for example, I asked him if he told his parents about me, he said he did, and told me he did. In facts, he didn’t tell me at all, so I think he didn’t tell his parents about me at all.

Something I didn’t say, he said I did say those things.

I know who I am, some words I personally won’t say, he gaslighted me and said I did say those words.

I helped and supported him a lot, and he said I didn’t care about him. He said I am a selfish person.

I put so many efforts in the LDR, he didn’t put any effort, I sent him about $3000 from time to time, I shipped many expensive gifts, he didn’t buy me anything, and he didn’t send me any money.

He bought lot of gifts to his male and female friends, and he didn’t give me anything. He kept taking from me!!!

He used my money to buy gift for his female friend, he used my money to buy stuff for himself.

And he never appreciated, never! Never say a single thank you…

One time I got depression after he treated me cold like shit, and he said I am a person full of problems.

Himself got depressed and mad from time to time, and he complained that I am a person with lots of problems.

Whenever he got stressed in life, he disappeared for days, ignored my message and didn’t send me any messages for days and days.

I confronted him about his withdrawal, I tried to be very patient and a kind person, told him my feelings, and told him that communication is important. He didn’t care at all, and treated me like shit, he stopped sharing his life with me, and said he had no desire to talk to me.

He started to feel annoyed, and I was very stupid, after he treated me so bad, I still gave him hundreds dollar to financially support him. Then he called me babe again for one day. After that day he treated me cold again.

Whenever he said he would start to work hard and work on something, he slept a lot and didn’t do what he told me he would do.

He didn’t ask me to play game together, and he blamed me that I didn’t ask him to play, and told me he was waiting to play game with me.

He doesn’t make good friends, and he doesn’t get good along with his families.

He didn’t care about the future plan I made for staying with him, and he didn’t have a future plan for me.

He treated me so bad after the honeymoon phase of the LDR. I started to feel like walking on eggshells, and started to dislike myself. And so many red flags.

Finally I am done, I ghosted and blocked him forever!

EDIT: he complained he had loans and late payments of credit cards, so I sacrificed my own money and sent him the money to help his financial problems…I was super dumb, I shouldn’t done that. I have my own student loans need to pay.

EDIT: he also complained he didn’t have money to buy food, so I sent him money and let him buy food…

EDIT: we met from my stream, although I don’t do stream anymore. We exchanged photos, and I don’t find his photos from anywhere else.

EDIT: he never asked for money, but because I was in love with him, I had dumb love brain at that time, so I was willing to send him my own money to financially support his, I just wanted to help him reduce his stress of life. Because he kept complaining those things….i was so fucking dumb.

EDIT: in the beginning of this LDR, he asked for my social media, and he looked at every corner of my social media. After he withdrawal himself and ignored me for days and days, I tried to look up his social media to find out what he was doing. He said I was following and stalking him. WTF!!! 【 READ this please 】

EDIT: I was always the one who did apologize after arguments and fights, and I begged for his forgiveness. Because I scared of losing him. Now I look back, This is so disgusting !!!

previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/LDR/comments/1uvv7je/23m_stuck_in_a_3year_ldr_with_23f_she_loves_me/

I’ve tried everything to break up with my long distance girlfriend in a nice way. Every time I try, she insists on staying, finds a weak spot to exploit, and uses it to convince me to stay. At one point, I just started going cold.

Now, she has used all her savings to book a flight back home. She did this while already facing a serious debt situation, and she hasn't even told her family she's coming back or that she’s skipping a week of her lectures.

She wants us to live together for 7 days and says she will be OK breaking up after that. Her excuse is that having those 7 days of memories will be enough for her lifetime, and she claims she will never find another man after this. To me, this sounds extremely dramatic, but I'm still worried about her.

I don't feel like living together for a week is the right thing to do. I no longer have the emotional attachment required to live with her, and it feels morally wrong to do that with someone I intend to break up with. I honestly can't tell if she is trying to manipulate me into falling for her again through lust.

I tried explaining my side completely. I told her that staying in this relationship is severely impacting my mental health to the point where I feel seriously ill, but she refuses to listen. She just says she faces the exact same mental toll and asks me to handle it but I can't do this forever, especially since she still has 5 years left of her studies.

Her reasoning is that since I've tried everything on my end before coming to this conclusion, but she hasn't tried yet, she needs to come visit so we can start seeing each other very often. But I know this won't work. I'll just be miserable again in a month, and neither of us is in a financial position to meet frequently given our other financial priorities.

She is set to arrive in a few days now. I really don't know how to handle this situation without becoming her trauma.

A question in a forum I never imagined I’d post in

For the last 4 months we’ve chatting online and things are going really well. We talk all the time when we can around work/ activities etc. We live in two different countries. Neither speak each others language. Using a translator app on their phone for our conversations on WhatsApp.

What I don’t know now is next steps… has anyone been in this similar position? What did you do?

I’m worried about meeting them in person in the sense that whatever we chatted about over text wouldn’t correlate to being conversed in person due to the language barrier.

How have people gone about this next step in the their own relationship?

Thank you ☺️

​

I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for around 10 months. We actually knew each other for about two years before we started talking seriously.

In the beginning, everything felt really good. I felt emotionally connected to her and was very happy with the relationship. But recently, I’ve started feeling like there’s a lack of physical attraction and physical connection between us, and honestly, it’s been difficult for me to understand what I’m feeling.

I love her a lot, probably more than I can properly explain, and I don’t want to hurt her or lose what we have. I’ve talked to her about this, and her response was basically that because we’re long-distance, there isn’t really much we can do about the physical side of the relationship right now.

Sometimes I have a much stronger desire for intimacy than she does, and I end up saying things that I later feel I probably shouldn’t have said. She’s more reserved about these things, and I really don’t want her to ever feel pressured by me. Whenever she’s uncomfortable or changes her mind, I respect that.

The confusing part is that I don’t know whether this is simply because I’m inexperienced and this is my first relationship, whether I’m expecting too much from an LDR, or whether we genuinely have different needs when it comes to physical affection and intimacy.

I’m also worried that I’m becoming too focused on the physical side of things when I genuinely care about her as a person.

Has anyone else experienced something similar in a long-distance relationship? How do you deal with having different levels of physical/intimate needs without making your partner feel pressured or making yourself feel neglected, is asking for nudes is normal?

I’m looking for genuine advice because this is my first relationship and I honestly don’t know what’s normal.

I’m 28F, and my boyfriend is 28M. We’re both INFPs and in a long-distance relationship. I live in Asia, while he lives in Europe. For the most part, we were a very happy and loving couple. Things were okay until I discovered that he still had a connection with his ex. When I asked him about it, he explained that the only reason they were still in contact was because his ex had borrowed a game from him and hadn’t returned it yet. I told him honestly that I was uncomfortable with them still being connected, and I asked if he could unfriend her.

I even offered to buy him the same game because it was available where I live, so he wouldn’t have to maintain contact with his ex just to get it back.
He became very upset and told me that one of his principles is that when you borrow something from someone, you should return it. I understood his point, and I didn’t want to disrespect his principles, but at the same time, my discomfort was genuine. Eventually, after several arguments, he agreed to unfriend her.
Things went back to normal afterward, but honestly, I feel like something changed between us.
Little by little, he started opening up to me about his mental struggles. He told me that opening up to people is extremely difficult for him and that he sometimes feels like he’s in a very dark place. There was one point when he stopped talking to me for three days. Eventually, he apologized and told me that he would try to be better for me. I tried to understand because I knew he was struggling.

But now it has happened again.
He told me that he is in a very dark place, and he hasn’t talked to me for more than a week. I’ve tried reaching out. I’ve been patient. I’ve tried to give him space because I know he is struggling. But at this point, I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. I feel like I’ve been ghosted. And I’m struggling because I really love him. I’ve tried so hard to be patient and understanding with him. I’ve tried to make space for his struggles and never wanted him to feel like he had to be okay all the time just to be loved by me.

I don’t know if I’m looking for advice, reassurance, or maybe I just need somewhere to let this out. I genuinely don’t know what I need to hear right now.
I just feel incredibly hurt.

Me (M21) and my gf (F23) have been dating for 2 and a half years now. We used to call every day for hours. Playing games, watching videos together, etc.. It was CONSTANT. Although in the first year I wanted to have my own time as well and we got into a lot of arguments about that, I changed for her and started spending WAY more time with her.

Lately she's barely texting, when she does it takes 5-6 hours and it's short. Her excuse is she's "physically exhausted" and can't text like she used to. Me, not wanting to overreact, I acknowledged it and got busy myself. The emotion and the way she talks remained, the frequency is what changed.

When she visited in person 2 weeks ago I noticed she kept hiding her phone and closing it whenever I got close. Found out later it was Character AI. I told her early in our relationship I used to use it too (not anymore though) so I don't get why she'd hide it from me specifically. It weirded me out A LOT but I didn't confront her or anything.

Now she's basically swapped our calls for being on Character AI and listening to music most of the day. I'm very concerned because this started happening a month ago when she started skipping out every day of work because of her headaches, later I come to find out she's been texting with Character AI this whole time instead.

Not sure if I'm overreacting or if this is a real red flag. Anyone been through something similar?

me and my gf are long distance and she’s going to be in china for school for a while and i’m in the US she’ll either be using a chromebook or getting a dell laptop and i’m on xbox i’m trying to figure out the best way for us to still do stuff together while she’s over there especially watching movies together like if i screen share netflix or youtube to her can she actually see and hear everything on her end or does netflix just give her a black screen i know discord is blocked over there so i’m wondering if zoom works better for screen sharing or if there’s another app that works better also what vpns actually work in china right now because i don’t want to pay for one that barely works or stops working once she gets there and it would be nice if it worked on both her phone and laptop and could let her use stuff like discord youtube instagram etc for gaming i’m on xbox and she’ll be on pc so i’m also looking for games we can play together that actually work with xbox and pc crossplay and preferably stuff we can play for a long time together not just quick games basically i’m just trying to figure out everything we can use to talk watch movies play games and hang out while she’s in china and what stuff i should set up or download before she leaves if anyone has done long distance between the US and china or has a gf/bf over there i’d really appreciate any advice or things i might be missing

hello , still griving my break up , can a men love you and still break up with you because he feels like he can't give u the attention you deserve? he worship his alone time and work a lot (but it was so much for me and i asked him for more presence and it was reasnable i took into considération him being tired and his working hours)

My family lives in New Zealand, recently I went on holiday to see my mother’s side of the family, they live in England.

I met almost my perfect type, he is entertaining and romantic and healthy and cocky.

We’ve been “dating” for a month, but now I am going home to NZ. I have to decide whether I go back to Eng in February with my mum, who is moving there no matter, and start university, or stay in NZ.

Pros of Eng Uni -
A new country to explore (one I love)
The Boy, (who is obsessed with me, he will wait for me)
Cheaper then NZ, (I won’t be paying rent)
My mum will be with me

Cons - i will not see my immediate family, (dad & siblings i am very close to)

What is everyone’s advice? What should I do with my life next year? How do I keep my relationship with this boy going?

Post

I live in Marrakech. I (31F) met a guy (32M) in Valencia, Spain about 10 days ago through Tinder. We had been texting quite a lot before meeting, and our first date ended up lasting around 12 hours.

It was honestly one of those dates where you completely lose track of time. We walked around the city, talked for hours about everything from family and relationships to marriage, work, money, etc., laughed a lot, kissed, and just had a really strong connection. The date lasted 12 hours.

I was originally supposed to fly home two days later, but I realized I had a couple of extra days available. He was actually the one encouraging me to stay longer and helped me look at accommodation options and paid for the hotel.

So I stayed.

We then spent basically another 3 days together, not just dates, but long stretches of normal life. He worked sometimes while I was around, we ate together, slept together, talked endlessly, had little disagreements, talked through them, etc.

By the time I left, we'd spent roughly four very intense days together.

He was very affectionate. He repeatedly told me he was going to miss me, said he'd never experienced this particular kind of connection/depth before, took lots of pictures/videos of us, told his sister about me, wanted me to briefly say hello to his mom/friends when they called, and talked about coming to visit me in Marrakech once his residency situation in Spain was sorted.

Important context: we are NOT exclusive and have not defined this as a relationship. We literally met 10 days ago. I'm very aware of that.

After I returned home, we continued communicating every day. Lots of voice notes/texts, usually several exchanges throughout the day. He'd tell me he missed me, ask questions about my life, send me things from his day, etc.

Recently, however, the communication has become noticeably less consistent.

There have been a few long gaps between replies. Some had completely reasonable explanations his phone screen actually stopped working and he eventually bought an adapter/mouse so he could operate it, and another time he was unexpectedly dealing with checking out of his accommodation and finding somewhere else to stay. He just moved to Valencia a month ago and is still figuring out where to stay as his one month lease was over.

He's also currently working a lot and trying to find permanent housing in a city he only recently moved to, so I know his life is genuinely chaotic right now.

But I'm still noticing the change.

We recently started video calling. A couple of nights ago, he initiated a call and we spoke for around 30 minutes. He asked if we could talk again the following evening.

I told him I prefer having an actual time rather than vague "maybe later" plans, so we agreed on a time.

The next evening, he missed the call and didn't notify me beforehand.

Later that night, he came back on his own and said something like, "Are you awake? We were going to have a call 🥲." He explained that an important client/work had taken over, apologized before I even confronted him about it, and asked if I was available to talk.

We had a video call.

During it I was pretty vulnerable with him. I explained that because we're long-distance and everything is so new, uncertainty sometimes makes me anxious, and that if we agree on a call and something comes up, I don't expect him to drop everything, I would just really appreciate a quick message saying he can't make it.

He seemed very receptive. He apologized again, said he understood how his behavior could make me feel like I wasn't being prioritized, and even suggested he'd set an alarm next time.

Then our call dropped because of his phone/connection battery.

Later he texted saying it was just his phone and said, "Perhaps beep me when it's ok to talk."

So this morning around 10am, I did exactly that.

I said good morning and asked:

"Are you free around 6-7pm?"

It has now been over 7 hours and he hasn't responded.

What is bothering me even more is that I saw that he had been on WhatsApp several hours after I sent the message.

And now I'm confused.

On one hand, I keep thinking: we met TEN DAYS AGO. He's working, moving, dealing with housing, and we haven't even established a relationship. Maybe the insane amount of communication immediately after spending four days together was never going to be sustainable, and I'm interpreting a normal settling-down period as rejection.

Also, when we actually interact, he still seems engaged. He asks about my life, initiates calls sometimes, and literally last night came looking for me after missing our call and then invited me to contact him again.

On the other hand, I can't shake the feeling that someone who is really excited about me wouldn't take 7+ hours to answer such a simple message, especially when HE was the one who asked me to contact him to talk.

I'm also worried because the communication seems less intense than immediately after I left Valencia. He used to say "I miss you" more often, responses were faster, etc.

I'm trying very hard not to turn response times into a measurement of someone's feelings, but because this is long-distance, communication is basically all we have when we're apart.

I really like him. Probably more than I expected to after knowing someone for such a short time. And I think that's partly why this is affecting me so much.

I'm planning to give him some space and not double-text or chase him. I'm also not planning to bring up the Marrakech visit again, he was the one who proposed visiting, so I figure if he genuinely wants to do it, he'll eventually turn that into actual plans.

I guess my questions are:

Does this sound like someone slowly losing interest/slow-ghosting, or could this genuinely just be two people coming down from an unusually intense first few days and trying to find a normal communication rhythm?

And especially for people who started long-distance: did you have periods like this at the very beginning where communication was inconsistent and you thought the other person was losing interest, but things eventually stabilized?

I'm not looking for reassurance that he's definitely into me. If this sounds bad, tell me. I'm genuinely trying to figure out what is reasonable to expect from someone I met only 10 days ago versus what I shouldn't rationalize away.

Hi all, me(M24) and my gf(F24) are in long distance. She's there in Japan and I am in India. We both are from the same country. She went there for her job. I am also employed currently and learning japanese to move there. She went last year and it's been almost 1.4 years of LDR. What I thought was bearable, slowly became discomforting for me. THE DISTANCE between us. There were sparkles between us due to me not being able to cope with it. I tried to improve myself and was successful for some time.She came back this june and we spent time together. And she went back in July. Few days back, it again started becoming uneasy for me and hell lot of overwhelming that my emotions took control of me. I said few bad things to her. She forgave me for that but she said it will take time for her to get over it. I feel so sorry for whatever I said. I don't know what to do and how to repent for things I said. I really want to make things were, like before. I know I am mostly the problem. People with more years in LDR please share your experience on how to cope up with this feeling.

My boyfriend [22M] and I [22F] have been together for 20 months. We're in a ldr.

About 4–5 months ago, we started becoming distant from each other. Neither of us has been doing very well mentally, but he's someone who really struggles to talk about his problems and tends to shut down when he's not doing well.

When we realized we were growing apart, we talked about it. At one point, he suggested that maybe we should take some time apart — basically breaking up for a while but still seeing each other. However, we never actually broke up.

We barely saw each other this summer because he was busy with university. Since then, he's withdrawn almost completely and hasn't really explained what's going on. I know he's not doing well, and I genuinely believe that a lot of his withdrawal is because of that, but it's incredibly difficult being on the other side of it and not knowing how to help him.

About a month ago, I went to see him, and it actually went really well. I had been so scared that things would be awkward or that we'd realize our relationship was completely broken, but that wasn't the case at all. We got along really well and it felt good being together.

He told me he loves me and that he's scared I don't believe him. When I was packing to come home, I asked him if he still wanted to be with me, and he said yes.

There have also been a few things happening since then that make this situation even more confusing to me.

The last time I told him I was going to visit him, he actually explained to me why he couldn't see me. It wasn't just ignoring me or refusing to answer — he gave me a reason. A few days later, he called me, but unfortunately I couldn't answer at the time. I called him back afterwards, but he didn't answer, and he never called me again.

He also hasn't removed me from social media or unfollowed me, and I'm still on his Instagram Close Friends. I know these things aren't necessarily proof of anything, but given everything else, they make it harder for me to understand what is going on.

His mother has also told me that he really likes me, that he smiles when they talk about me, and that he wants to be with me. I know this is only what his mother has told me, so obviously I can't know exactly what's going on in his head. But knowing him, this is actually quite important to me. I don't think he would lie to his mother about wanting to be with me, especially when he doesn't usually talk much about his feelings or his problems.

He still has our things/photos in his room, too. Again, I know none of these things individually mean that everything is fine or that he definitely wants the relationship to work. But taken together, they make me feel like there's something more going on than simply him losing feelings for me.

At the same time, he knows that the way he's treating me is hurting me. Whenever we do exchange messages, he apologizes for everything. I can tell that he feels bad about the situation too.

I've already given him space. I'm not putting my life on hold waiting for him, and I've been working on myself and continuing with my own life. But I still love him, and I want to be there for him.

The problem is that I don't know how to be there for him.

We're long-distance, so I can't just show up at his house or be physically there beside him. And I don't want to constantly push him to talk when I know he's struggling.

At the same time, it's really hard to just sit back and watch someone I love withdraw from me and seemingly struggle, without knowing what I can do.

What would you do in this situation? How can I show him that I'm here for him without putting pressure on him? Is there anything I can realistically do from a distance that might actually help?

I'm not looking for answers like "just leave him." I know our relationship isn't in a good place right now, and I also know that I can't fix his problems for him. I just want to understand whether there's a healthy way to support him while he's going through this.

I also don't want to convince myself that every little thing he does means he still wants to be with me. I'm aware that I could be interpreting things because I love him and want this to work. I'm just trying to understand the situation as objectively as I can, while also taking into account that I know him and his personality.

This is the first day of our LDR. After almost 2 years of being physically together, we are now apart. We will not see each other in person for 3 years. It sucks, you know, and I'm gonna miss her so much. She is in the US and I am here in the Philippines. Do you guys have any tips on how to deal with this kind of situation?

I’m 19M and recently transferred to a new university. About two weeks into the semester, I met an exchange student who I’ll call Val. We’ve gotten really close really quickly, spending hours talking, walking around campus, getting food, hanging out, etc. It’s clearly become more than a friendship, and we’ve both admitted that we have feelings for each other.

The problem is that she goes back to her home country in about 5 months.

We talked about it, and she basically said she wants to try being together for now and not worry too much about what happens when she leaves. When the time comes, we can figure it out.

I’m struggling with that because I’m not sure I want a long-distance relationship, especially when we don't know when we'd see each other again. If I'm being completely honest, if she were staying at my university for the next few years, I know I would want to be her boyfriend.

But knowing there's a very real possibility that we'd have to end things in 5 months makes me wonder if starting a relationship is actually a good idea. I don't want something that's meaningful to both of us to turn into something that feels like it had an expiration date. At the same time, I don't know if avoiding it would just leave me wondering what could have happened.

I’m not really looking for “follow your heart” or “you only live once” advice. I’d genuinely like to hear from people who have been in a similar situation.

If you knew you really liked someone but also knew they were leaving the country in 5 months, would you pursue it anyway? And if you’ve been through something similar, did you regret trying or regret not trying?

Hey guys and girls of reddit, I'm 14.5 and male, just to explain a bit.

I have an Australian girlfriend. And I'm American, we met like, 10 or 11 days ago, and been together for about 8 days now.(I know, awfully quick) And at first, we were flirtatious, happy, enjoying each other.

But recently that's started to change.

So, for like the first 5 days I would be telling her stuff, like, really deeply, maybe even getting into my emotions a little bit. But mostly just opening my heart up to her, nice and full, letting her know all my flaws n' shit...

She wouldn't really have any much of a big/deep response, but I understood she knew where I was coming from.

But now, the past few days are difficult... We talk on insta, and I noticed she started following this kinda nice looking dude (and btw I'm not so nice looking myself, I got a sharp jawline and sly mouth, but my cheeks are kinda round) and I decided to not question her about it, because she never questioned anyone I followed, and it could also start a needless argument (but now looking back it honestly may have been better to deal with that uncomfortable argument...)

A few days ago, she said she would be spending time with her family like, all month, which is a bit understandable, if it weren't for that fact that today I was left on seen for every message, no reply. Didn't even try, even if I asked a question.

And when this first happened by the way, I kinda got freaked out and got really emotional and scared and messaged her this whole long thing about how if she was feeling something that she could talk to me and we could work it out, blah blah blah...

And I got in contact with a couple family members trying to get to her, they all kinda ignored me, and when she finally replied it was telling me that she was really busy that day and her phone was dead and she had no internet and she was really tired and going to bed.

And I told her that's fine, and that I was sorry for panicking so hard, and that I hoped she slept well.

But then next day same thing happened, only this time I didn't freak out, and then at the end of the day I asked what she was doing, and that's when she told me she was gonna be busy all month,.and by the way, that day when I was freaking out was when I found out about that new guy she was following.

So that's kinda all for right now, might add more if more comes but that's about all for now, it's 4:30 AM, I need to try and sleep because I got class in the morning, I'll check back in the morning...

Edit: Thank you all so much for the support, info, and for holding up the mirror (pointing out my red flags) this has really helped me quite a bit, as this is my first (at the very least, kind of) serious relationship. and i didn't know what i was doing, and you all have really changed my perspective, and helped me understand this crazy shit a bit more, now it doesn't seem so crazy...

okay hi me and my boyfriend just started doing long distance. he went to college states away and it’s been less than a week and i feel awful. like genuinely a pit in my stomach, i feel so lost and sad. He means a lot to me and i really want our relationship to make it through. lots of people have said that our relationship is very strong and it makes me feel better but idk i just overthink a lot which is already kind of taking a toll on me. i guess im just worried its gonna feel this hard for the whole long distance. i just already feel disconnected from him. and i just worry so much into the future like what happens after college? will it be more long distance? will we move in together? i’m just scared and need advice.

ways to get through long distance and how to take care of yourself and make it easier please

My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship like we met on Instagram and talked. We matched the vibe and he first confessed that he likes me and then i gave him my answer. Like it's kinda everything happened really fast maybe because I was finding some one and he came, but i genuinely love him.

So it's been 6 months we are in a relationship and in these months we got those contact no contact phase a lot of times. And the main reason was intimacy and intimacy photos. Earlier whenever he came with intimacy I gave him excuses and reasons and then eventually we stopped talking for days. And the same pattern had been repeated many times.

After a month, he replied to my birthday story and then he started to put efforts like talking and all. And when that intimacy came, i again gave him my reason for not sending intimate photos like i have insecurities, trust issues, i don't look good, my boundaries too are a reason and he honestly answered all of them.

But when I said I needed more time we again became silent. I don't want to repeat the same thing I texted him at night that I need an emotional connection, the communication gap is so much between us then he's like will see after his exams, i shouldn't expect, neutral rahu and all. Then today he mssg in the afternoon saying whatever I said about the gap, communication and all we will fix them in 1 month and then i should open up to him. When I asked him if it still doesn't happen then he said he cannot continue as he already waited a lot.

It's like we both are each other's 1st but he knows more than me. I do trust him but I'm not having the guts to send intimate photos like i haven't done anything like this before. And the tragic thing we never talked on call like I live with me family so he do and it was me who said earlier that we can't talk on calls but now I crave for them. I feel so distant from him like i don't know about his life, not a part.

What should I really do? I'm literally stuck so badly rn.

Hi, I need help. I’m currently in a long distance relationship, Calgary and Toronto. We’ve been together for about a month now and it’s been great. Recently, we’ve gone through some troubles like trust issues, unable to talk a lot and busy schedules. For him, communication such as texting and calling is a big thing for him especially being so far away, that’s all we can do. He said that if it gets to a point where we don’t talk as much, he will loose feelings and apparently that’s just how he operates. What do I do? How can I help our relationship not fall into a ditch?

For more context, my girlfriend and I have been dating for about two months, but we’ve known each other for a good 2–3 years and have been really good friends. We realized we have a lot in common, and eventually we started dating. She was down here for two months, and honestly, it was the best two months of my life.

She went back to Chicago to finish her senior year, and I told her I wanted to come up and see her for my birthday. She said no. I asked three times, and each time she gave me a clear answer. She doesn’t want me spending the money, and on top of that, she’s taking six classes. She knows she probably won’t have the time to see me or spend time with me the way she would want to.

I think that’s completely valid, and I understand where she’s coming from. But for some reason, I can’t shake the thought that if I were in her position, I would find the time. I know everyone is different, though, and I know school and work are really important to her. I guess part of me just struggles with feeling like if someone really wants to see you, they’ll find a way, even though I know that isn’t always the case.

Lately, I’ve been scared that I’m somehow messing everything up. I’ve already messed up twice by blowing up her phone while I was drunk, and honestly, I know I was acting psycho. She forgave me, and I’m genuinely trying my damn hardest not to ever put her through that again. I’ve been doing better, and I’m trying to control my thoughts and not let my emotions take over.

The thing is, lately she’s been telling me she loves me and that she doesn’t want to give up on me, and hearing that means more to me than I can really explain. But at the same time, I’m scared. I care about her so much that I’m constantly worried about doing something wrong and ruining what we have.

I know some of these thoughts are probably just me overthinking, and I’m trying to remind myself that she’s with me because she wants to be. I trust her, and I know how important school and work are to her. I just have a hard time shutting my brain off sometimes.

I don’t really know why I’m saying all of this. I guess I just needed to get it out somewhere. I’m pouring my soul into this while literally holding back tears lol.

okay hi me and my boyfriend just started doing long distance. he went to college states away and it’s been less than a week and i feel awful. like genuinely a pit in my stomach, i feel so lost and sad. He means a lot to me and i really want our relationship to make it through. lots of people have said that our relationship is very strong and it makes me feel better but idk i just overthink a lot which is already kind of taking a toll on me. i guess im just worried its gonna feel this hard for the whole long distance. i just already feel disconnected from him. and i just worry so much into the future like what happens after college? will it be more long distance? will we move in together? i’m just scared and need advice.

ways to get through long distance and how to take care of yourself and make it easier please