r/MadeMeSmile • u/Elegant_Process_6507 • 1d ago
How it should be
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u/yahoo_determines 23h ago
It's easy to love when life is great. True love is when you stick together through hell.
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u/cachitonoseastoxico 11h ago
idk many of us have been hell after hell after hell and no time, money or energy for love are left after being enslaved I mean working full time 5 or 6 days a week.
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u/KindComparison3840 2h ago
If you really love someone it doesn’t matter how many hours you clock. You're bound to find time for them, love them and receive that love back. Might not be like this gif a 24/7 thing.
Life rn sucks, but imma be real sometimes I don't have the headspace to look at my wife after work, after being kicked around and spread thin. But at least I know hugging her, giving her love and to receive that reassurance love from her. Is what makes all that hell, that lack of money and energy be bearable.
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u/Mysterious_Boss_3627 3h ago
wait...working 5 or 6 days a week is being enslaved? did I misunderstand something?
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u/Adis_Gruntledfatty 1d ago
Back when I thought I had it all
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u/Panicless 19h ago
Then what happened?
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u/Adis_Gruntledfatty 19h ago
Life became a waiting game
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u/Panicless 19h ago
For what? What was missing?
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u/Adis_Gruntledfatty 19h ago
Nothing was missing, I had it all. Life can be cruel I'll just say that.
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u/OrangeOrangeRhino 23h ago
I would be pissed if someone played with my stomach like that lol. Other than that, very cute!
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u/TeddyStella 21h ago
I’d punch them lol.
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u/Capable_Tumbleweed34 6h ago
Can confirm, i do this with my gf all the time and get punched/elbowed/knee-to-the-face'd 'cause it tickles her and apparently she has no controle over her body when tickled.
It's still 100% worth it.
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u/clampion12 23h ago
My husband and I are like this. We've been together 20 years. 🥰
Edited: wrong number
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u/Training-Nerve-6585 23h ago edited 22h ago
Same but 24 years. He walked in on me getting changed today, and told me (52 and overweight) that I was the sexiest thing on the planet!
Made my whole week...
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u/AnotherUsername1959 22h ago
Omg my husband was feeling my stomach today when I was drying off after my shower.
33 years together. I've lost 45 lbs and I am my worst enemy when it comes to my body. I want to lose another 20 and I sometimes wonder if I'll ever be happy with my body 🤦♀️
My husband hates when I say negative stuff about my body.
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u/momovich 17h ago
My favorite affirmation is remembering when my hubby said to me (after I expressed some self-consciousness): "I didn't just marry your body. I married all of you."
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u/casual_creator 14h ago
Whenever I feel bad about something about myself (height, weight, hair, whatever), I say to myself “I’m just not my type today.” And that weirdly makes me feel a bit better.
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u/AnotherUsername1959 8h ago
I'll try that. I'll admit for years, I didn't like seeing myself in a mirror. With the weight loss, I definitely check myself out. Some days good, some days bad. So, "I'm just not my type today" would fit on those days!
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u/4rclyte 22h ago
He walked in on me getting charged today
Legal trouble or cyborg?
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u/Training-Nerve-6585 22h ago
Lol! Overtired! Changed, not charged. On the other hand, I might just be lying 🤥 🤔
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u/Capable_Tumbleweed34 6h ago
I'm sorry to tell you this, but your husband lied, the sexiest thing on the planet is obviously my gf (and future wife). We cannot both be right, and i can't be wrong on this. Matter of fact i challenge him to a duel!
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u/Training-Nerve-6585 6h ago
Hahaha 😆 I'll inform him! Hope you two have an incredible life together and keep cherishing each other.
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u/Capable_Tumbleweed34 5h ago
Same here, wish you both the very best, though it seems that's already an ongoing process :) take care of each other!
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u/Willing-Signal-3113 16h ago
I hope you know how lucky you are. I was lonely in a marriage that lasted about decade (legally 15 years because he wouldn’t finish his part of the divorce papers), then I’ve made unwise dating choices ever since and have had my heart broken a couple of times….until now. I’m with a genuinely great guy. He has quirks and is human but has a hard-working, kind soul. I’m learning to trust again.
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u/abhitooth 15h ago
Tbh when you are in such love then you dont realize time. Forget calculating it.
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u/DogIsABigOldCat 22h ago
We are all so blessed to experience this kind of love. I’m thankful for it daily.
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u/MoonieNine 23h ago
Going on 11 years. This is us.
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u/MoonieNine 23h ago edited 22h ago
As for advice: Find someone who shares your values- religion, politics, ethics, alcohol use, do you want/don't want kids. If things are progressing, how are you both with money? What are your credit scores? A lot of marital problems are from money issues. Love is only part of a marriage. It's not going to work if one of you keeps spending and racking up bills or can't hold down a job. How are you with chores? If one of you is doing 90% of the cooking, cleaning, shopping, and child-rearing, that person is going to be tired and resentful. Again, love isn't everything. Last, learn how to get angry as a loving adult. Conflicts will arise, but you should be able to discuss it without yelling, and certainly never name call. When someone starts cursing at their spouse, the marriage will be in trouble. It is just so disrespectful. But if you have the above issues ironed out, you will be like the couple in the cartoon, even a decade or more later.
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u/clampion12 22h ago
I wish I could upvote this more than once.
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u/MoonieNine 22h ago
Aw, thanks. I learned from my first marriage. Most of those issues I mentioned I experienced personally. This time around? He is the most loving, kind, thoughtful person and I'm blessed. We are honestly like the couple in the cartoon. Going on 11 years. (I'm 56. He's 60.) But we made sure lots of boxes were ticked in early dating. And we resolve the rare conflict maturely.
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u/RevolutionLoose5542 22h ago
I wish
Sometimes i go back on gta and get 5 stars just to feel wanted by someone
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u/Moretti123 16h ago
You made me crack up lmfao. In all seriousness, I wish you the best!!! You’ll have it one day!
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u/Yoda10353 23h ago
Currently coming to that realization... And we're married
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u/Vykrom 21h ago
Same, but opposite. My wife would love to do this, but I really can't participate when all she wants in life is whimsy and I have the be the one taking care of all the chores, bills, obligations, and responsibilities. I feel more like a father than a husband
So, you're not alone I guess. If I had a partner who was willing to tackle things with me, I'd love to have some whimsy on the side
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u/Yoda10353 21h ago
I pay most of rent, both our car payments and utilities. She loves me just isnt a very physically embracive person, just didn't feel like much of an issue until recently after 9 years
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u/beerme72 22h ago
My Wife and I are about to celebrate #26.
It's not easy. It's not always fun. It's not always even loving (at times).
But it is worth the work....the tears and the trying.
She completes me...and I try every day to complete her....and that's all you can do.
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u/Disastrous_Ad_937 14h ago
Hard to watch as my spouse and I are going through a thing. I'm actually sitting in my car in a hospital parking lot after being told to get the fuck out as I was putting our son to sleep. Drove for a bit then ended up here cause I figured no security would bother me here........
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u/NieveCactus 11h ago
Stay strong brother. So sorry to hear you're going through this. I wish the future has some good luck for you.
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u/romaninho87 23h ago
I‘m so lucky to have all that and more with my wife. I hope everyone has or will find the right partner for themselves as well
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u/jsar_money 20h ago
I love my wife and I will always see her as the most beautiful woman to walk this earth. Makeup, no makeup, hair up, hair down, dressed up, dressed down... as long as we’re together.
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u/MadaRook 18h ago
I happen to be seeing a bunch of couple stuff after my 9 year relationship ended yesterday, it's painful.
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u/Optimal-Pen-926 15h ago
Nothing makes you more depresso than seeing such a post in the morning while having no one🫡
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u/IsSixAlot 23h ago
If both people get peace, joy, or happiness from it, heck yeah. I know a few folks that would run for the hills of either partner did some of these things.
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u/Ludwig_Vista2 12h ago
- It's absolutely how it can be
I love her so much sometimes I cry thinking about how hard she loves me and how fortunate I am to have found her.
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u/psxndc 22h ago
I call it the doorknob rule. Picture this: you come home from work. As you reach for the doorknob, are you excited for what’s behind the door, or do you sigh? If you sigh, it’s time to find another relationship.
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u/onyabikeson 20h ago
All relationships take work and have stressful periods, nothing is all sunshine indefinitely.
I understand what you're trying to say here but I would like to think that there's a conversation at minimum and an effort to reconnect and repair before moving on to another relationship.
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u/psxndc 19h ago
Of course you have to talk before leaving, and I wasn't suggesting otherwise. I don't think a sigh before you walk in the door indicates a relationship "taking work"; it's a deep-seated malaise. I've been in that relationship; we went to multiple couples' counselors, and it ended in divorce.
Contrast that with my second wife. We've been together for thirteen years, ten of which have been married. We have had maybe a dozen fights over that time - literally, twelve - and none have lasted more than a few hours. I would say it has very much been "sunshine indefinitely" and has never been stressful, at least as far as issues between us. And that's in part because we talk all the time about our feelings and challenges.
I don't subscribe to the idea that relationships are "hard" or "take work" anymore. They take "effort" - making time for dates, doing random nice things for the other person because you genuinely want to make their life easier - but it isn't "work."
I think people put up with a lot of crap unnecessarily because they're taught that relationships are "hard" and stress is unavoidable. They're not if you're with the right person. I am *thrilled* when I come home each day because my favorite people in the whole world are behind that door.
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u/Forward-Ad992 20h ago
Yep, takes a little work (we can all be absent minded at times) but this is doable, I'm fortunate enough to confirm.
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u/BatFun4579 18h ago
This is me and my fiance. I feel so blessed. He loves my belly, calls it the burger cause he wants wants bite it🥹
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u/No-One-4432 14h ago
Ugh, I'm in a horribly lonely and unhappy marriage. Can't wait to escape it. Staying for the kids.
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u/_herbsandspices_ 10h ago
I scrolled away but I had to come back to this, for you and for anyone else in your situation.
Assuming you’re safe, financially able/secure, and not putting yourself or anyone else at risk: please don’t stay for the kids. I’m an educator who’s worked with families and kids from toddlerhood to high school. I’ve seen the effect that an unhappy home has on children. They can sense when things aren’t okay. They pick up on your stress no matter how much you try to keep it from them, and it’s just not possible, and I’m so sorry for that.
Please find your own happiness. Maybe that means separating, maybe that means finding ways to create joy in smaller ways within your family and relationships. I certainly can’t speak to that. It’s just been my experience that children flourish best with two happy parents, not necessarily two married ones.
You deserve to be happy. Your children deserve to have beautiful memories with a parent who loves life so they know how to love it, too. Wishing you all the best ♥️
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u/KiraCura 22h ago
It’s hard to find something like this, at least for me. I never really seem to find the right guys 😓 but I’ve honestly learned to be happy with myself. It took a long time, but at least I’m not unhappy on my own. I’d still love to find a partner one day, but I’m not in a rush :3 I’m happy for everyone that has a very loving person in their lives. We need more of those. 💜
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u/navy_yn2000 20h ago
My fiance and I are like this. We've been together 3 years and get married Saturday!
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u/After-Hearing-6887 5h ago
30 years married, 36 together and we were each other’s best friends. Been through everything together until I found out he cheated on me with my sister multiple times over a 10 year period. Needless to say, I don’t know him anymore. Questioning everything.
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u/ManzanitaSuperHero 4h ago
20+ yrs together. What they need to show is your partner sleeping in the hospital room, doing the dishes bc you’ve had a long day, picking up takeout from your favorite restaurant “just because”, helping you prep for interviews after a layoff and reminding you why you’re qualified and capable.
Romance is great but to me, real love, is moments like that. When someone does things selflessly, simply bc they care and want you to be healthier and happier and want you to know they’ve got your back.
I found the needle in the hay stack and found that. I’ve drawn some other short straws in my life but I’d draw them all again if it meant I get to spend my life with her. She’s my greatest gift and my best friend.
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u/Kind-Question2887 23h ago
That's how it looks during the honeymoon phase, until things get more serious, thing need to be spoken, personal and mutual goals need to get checked aligned, disagreements start appearing, miscommunication or lack or communication and avoidance kicks in…
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u/Key_Performer2060 1d ago
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u/thedirtydancerr 20h ago
This reminds me of her. She’s coming over tonight after work to watch Lord of the Rings. So grateful to realize I’m living in the good ol’ days while I’m still in them 🥲
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u/Zypherzor 19h ago
Had this, got severe acne, healed it, never had it again since. Much older now so it’s unlikely 💀
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u/mr-cabten 10h ago
Love is easy when life is good. Much fewer people can handle hardship and stay loyal through thick and thin.
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u/RobinFood 7h ago
Unlocked done core memories after 18 years of marriage. Sometimes still feels that way when the kids are sleeping.
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u/Raar_artz 7h ago
If ONLY I HAD SOMEONE TO DO THAT WITH!! *cue in table flip and ugly crying under the sink
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u/HyliasHero 59m ago
God I wish. Haven't been in a relationship in a decade and I am currently dealing with unrequited feelings.
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u/pretzelchi 22h ago
It lost me when the tummy started being squished and played with 😅. I don’t know anyone who wants their gut played with (even if they are ok with “fat is beautiful.
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u/melancholy_dood 22h ago
That kind of attention and affection would drive me crazy. It's possible to have too much of a good thing! 😬
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u/Randalf_the_Black 21h ago
My wife and I have long since stopped being like this.. I'd find it exhausting tbh to be like this over a decade in..
We still love each other though.
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u/baconmethod 23h ago
what a nice fiction
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u/scratsquirrel 20h ago
This is largely what my relationship has been like for over 16 years now
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u/baconmethod 20h ago
you know, that's really awesome. that may be the case for some people, and i'm not jello at all.
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u/Zypherzor 19h ago
Its rare nowadays, seems more common with younger people. Being this upbeat and enthusiastic takes a lot of energy in general, ofc theres also other factors like trauma, resentment, financial struggle, etc. So many negatives happening in many people’s lives that spill over to their relationships.
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u/EarlyEggplants 18h ago
I’m in my late 40s, severe ptsd from an abusive relationship, was a single mother for many years. Yes, I am in weekly therapy and I have been for a very long time now.
I am also in a loving relationship that looks just like this cute little cartoon. Our kids love it for us. Our 14 year old calls us couple goals.
The healthiest, happiest relationship of my life. The kind I didn’t believe existed. And the kind I hope exists for many more people.
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u/baconmethod 21h ago
meh. downvote all you want. if you think relationships are nothing but roses, you're in for a rude awakening.
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u/knighthawk3759 20h ago
It is definitely how it's supposed to be but it's never been like this for me ever
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u/Lower_Ad_6301 18h ago
Not shown: her banging the neighbor while he’s at work.
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