We have 4 children. He travels for work M-F. I am tired. I am tired. I am tired.

I’m a stay-at-home which I’m incredibly thankful for. I would 1000% consider it a luxury. Anyways….. my husband travels for work M-F. It can be very exhausting at times, especially when you have hard week of taking care of littles who are sick, and you’re also sick yourself. I also have an autoimmune condition, and goodness it is HARD staying of a flare when you have 3 nights in a row, up the entire night with 2 sick kids. Things definitely get built up around my house. Laundry, dishes, everything. Heavy on the laundry built up. There’s times I put it away immediately, and 80% of the time it will sit in baskets until I do it.

I never ever EVER take naps to catch up on lost sleep. NEVER. It’s impossible to squeeze it in. When my husband is home on the weekends, I dedicate my time to catching up on housework, or spending one-on-one time with some of the littles since I’m not able to do that during the week.

This morning i woke up with terrible chest pain and can barely talk. It was obvious in my voice and how I was carrying myself that I didn’t feel well. I voiced it to my husband multiple times that I didn’t feel well and needed to go pick up medicine for the nebulizer. Never even says anything back or anything.

As the day went on, about 4:00, I desperately needed to lay down. My eyes were closing on me, my husband was home for a random off day his job gives him once in awhile. I told my husband I was going to lay down… and he points at the 2 laundry baskets on our floor…. I said “what?” He said, “the laundry needs to be done.” I said… “you’re more than welcome to help with it.” Then I said “you’re really going to point out laundry when I’m finally prioritizing getting rest? After this long, hard week of 3 sleepless nights and the fact that I’m not feeling well today? You want to point out laundry, but when do YOU ever help with it?” He says something along the lines of, “you’re really going to get this upset over a nap?”

……. He randomly takes naps when he’s home. Always.

(42F), (48M) married for 3 years. Husband and I recently moved because husband applied for a job that multiplied his income by 2.5x. His income is now four times more than mine. His monthly take Home is over 12,000 a month. My monthly take Home is 4,100 and rent is 3,700. He’s asking me to pay 1,400 towards rent which is more than what I was paying at the old place. I just think it’s not fair that I have to pay anything at all since my wages haven’t changed and his income can cover all expenses.

Alright, so basically title! Bit of a vent but also looking for advice here

I used to not use it afterwards because I just wanted to lay with him and relax… but I would just be sexually frustrated for the rest of the day, so I stopped doing that. I really love penetration + vib, so he’s been fingering me after he finishes. I’ve been noticing he hasn’t been enthusiastic about it, so I always stop us. I couldn’t tell if he was bored or what. He said it makes him feel inadequate and it feels like labor when he just wants to relax when he’s done. And I get that! But.. like hello lol. I would like to get mine too. I thought it was a good flow, idk. I mean he’d cum, and then I’d cum. 🤷‍♀️

He said he’s been feeling this way for a while, and would like to switch up the order of things, which seems like a no brainer… but if he’s been feeling this way for a while, why would he not focus on foreplay? He knows I like being dominated so seems like the obvious thing.

I’m glad he told me but the way he did it hurt my feelings. I told him I felt really bad he feels that way and I’m embarrassed, I feel like I’m bad at the whole sex thing now because I’m not having an orgasm, he said “maybe you feel bad because this is something to feel guilty about”.

It just felt? Backwards? Like how am I feeling guilty because I’m not having an orgasm??? 🫠😭

I am just venting here to blow off steam. Thanks for listening.

I am so, so, so done with my kids (12F and 15M) complaining about everything I cook for dinner. We have a large garden with lots of veggies coming up right now, and we buy sides of beef/whole pigs/chickens so we always have stuff in the freezer. I try to use as many veggies as I can while they are fresh, so that I don't have as many to process for freezing/canning. Lately, everything I make is "gross" or they are "not hungry" for dinner.

Why TF do I work my ass off at work, so that I can get home in time to cook dinner, just to hear how much it "sucks." My husband is a SAHD and can't be bothered to do anything inside, so there are loads of dishes to get through before I even start dinner, then I clean the whole kitchen afterwards too.

So, fuck this. I am going on strike. No more home cooked meals for these ungrateful brats. They can find something themselves. I am just. Fucking. Over. It.

Thanks for listening.

Edit: wow, lots of responses and things to think about. Thank you. To add some context:

My husband worked until our youngest was 3, then we made the decision together for him to stay home with the kids and move to an area where we could get out of the suburbs and have some space. It was an adjustment for both of us, and as part of my ?"mom guilt"? for being the one who worked, I wanted to cook the majority of the meals - I liked to contribute that way. I was also under the impression he would go back to work when the kids both started school, but they both started travel sports so that was a lot of running around that i couldn't take off work to do. Then the garden and the maintenance of the hundreds of trees and animals (just dogs and cats), and he spends all day "weeding." I wanted the garden, so how can I complain about getting what I wanted from that front?

I have asked him to go back to work, to take the mental load of paying bills, and just stopped cleaning until it gets gross and I can't handle it. The amazing part is, when I go TDY for 6 months everything gets done.

You are all right- I've been enabling this because I struggle asking for help and don't want to look like I can't handle everything. We need to have a serious talk - husband and I need to get on the same page and then bring in the kids. Fantasizing about divorce is silly, I need to deal with the issues or get out.

My wife is having an emotional affair. She is willing to stay and coparent with me to see if affair lasts. If I force her to break it off she will divorce me. Its a guy from high school and he lives two doors down. We have a 15 year old and 12 year old kids. My wife still loves me but not in love with me. Her and affair partner talked 110 hours over 4 weeks from July 26th to Aug 27th.

How can I get him to leave her alone? Offer him money?

One of the guys at my office today said he doesn’t understand why men need paternity leave. It made me think back to a year ago when our first baby was born and my husband took such good care of me. He helped me in and out of bed, pushed our newborn in the stroller for hours so that I could get a much needed 4 hour block of sleep, cooked, cleaned the house, changed diapers.

He made it so that the only thing I had to worry about during those first few weeks was healing my body and breast feeding our new baby. And to this day I’m so filled with love and gratitude with how he took care of me in that vulnerable time. Like damn, I love that man and I’m so thankful to have such a good partner.

Anyways I couldn’t go on about all of that at work so I’m sharing it here.

me(39m), wife(37f)

Not sure how to put this, my wife slowly changed pretty much everything about her. from non religious to religious, fron easygoing to judgemental.

She is completely different and we nonlonger have anything in common, we used to like the same music, had similar hobbies. now we don't, she is a stranger. she complains that i don't spend tone with her, but i really don't know what to do with her.

i really dislike transactional relationships, where you do something for your partner and the partner does something in return for you.

because we weren't like that, we liked the same things, we were on the same wavelength... we no longer are.

it was some kind of religious awakening she hid from me, i found evidence that the change startet slowly even before marriage. she never discussed it with me, maybe because she knew i didn't want to be married to her if she was this way.

i found out when our youngest was just 4 months old, after her birth my wifes change went into Overdrive. trying to convince me of her knew views but without naming them. so she used the rationalizations but never named it.

i am so done... our youngest is 2 now and our oldest 5. 50:50 in our country is usually only a thing if a kid is at least three years old. so i haven't confronted her, as i don't want to loose the kids.

we also fight constantly, the days we act like roomates are the good ones. i am confused how she changed so much but complains that i lost interest, but is unable to connect the dots.

i have to wait andother year before i can connect the dits for her and tell her why i want to end the marriage.

i mean "you grow together or you grow apart" is fine, and i can live with growing apart. but at least tell your partner your direction.

no idea, what to do. it feels hopeless. i miss the oerson she used to be...

My wife told me she wants to take a four day trip with a friend this fall without me. We’ve been married six years and pretty much every trip we’ve taken since getting married has been together.

I had some money saved up for us to travel later this year, so at first I took it as her choosing a trip without me instead. She says she just misses traveling with friends and doesn’t think every vacation has to be a couple thing. She’s completely fine with me doing the same.

I trust her. I’m just surprised by how much it bothers me. Married people, do you take trips without your spouse?

My husband and I currently rent a house from his parents for $1,400 per month. We’ve been doing this for 5 years and never missed a payment.

His parents plan to sell the house by next June because they need the proceeds to purchase the home where they intend to retire. The house would likely sell for around $300,000, and we originally hoped to buy it from them.
Unfortunately, we recently spoke with a mortgage broker and were told that we would not qualify for a $300,000 mortgage—or even a $150,000 mortgage under our current circumstances (My husband works full-time and earns $22 per hour. I am currently a full-time graduate student and do not have a regular job. We also have approximately $33,000 in combined credit-card debt, and our cards are essentially maxed out).

The broker told us that my husband would need to continue working 40 hours per week and that I would likely need a full-time job paying around $25 per hour before purchasing something at $150k would be realistic.

My biggest concern is figuring out what we should do between now and next June. My husband had plans of starting his masters program in the new year so that he can get upward mobility at his job (he needs a masters to get to the clinical supervisor level).

In a dream world we would purchase a small house before December, he go to school the next two years, and we move forward from there. If we want to buy a house, we’d have to do it before he applies for student loans. Alternatively, we downside to rent somewhere super small and just keep trekking along while we’re both in school. But we’re both in our early 30s and don’t want to keep renting forever.

I have 3 main questions:

1. What would you prioritize in our situation? Are there any realistic options we should consider?

2. Should we stop considering homeownership for now and put every available dollar toward the credit cards and moving expenses?

3. How much should we try to save for moving costs, deposits, and an emergency fund before June?

I’m terrified because at this point we can’t buy a house and I don’t think we can prove enough financials to rent somewhere super small (it will look like we were unemployed for a year). We’re essentially starting from scratch (well in the negative really) and I feel paralyzed not being able to figure out where we’re gonna live next year.

BACKGROUND: My husband and I used to make collectively 6 figures and we had close to 40k in savings, but we put pretty much all of our savings into a business venture last year that failed miserably. Both of us quit our jobs early last year, and lived off of our savings until about March when we finally had to admit it wasn’t working. Our financial situation is a clusterfuck I know, and I never thought I’d be the the type of person to risk all my savings, but we were supremely burned out, and I fell into the trap of thinking if we were brave enough it would all work out .

I’m appalled that one year of bad decisions could put us in this bad of a situation.

Seeking Advice/Vent

We've been married 6 years, we have two small children together. My wife cheated (nothing physical happened) on me with her best friend and is now saying she's confused about her sexuality.

She used to say how alike we were and how great it was that she met someone like her best friend..so much for that huh, I was the gateway marriage.

This is all still very fresh, like literally had the confrontation hours ago. I confronted her and she is sorry and all that jazz but still lied and covered it up every chance she got. She says she's ashamed of possibly being gay or bi but she wants to go to couples counseling and try and save our marriage and that she's, "willing to do anything". I just don't see how I could ever trust again but especially trust her, but I also don't want to lose custody of my children....even 50% isn't enough..I'm lost..I put her through school, I gave up my 6 figure job to be a better parent and partner, I loved our impossible to shake marriage, I loved who I was when I was with her, I loved who I thought I was as a person, husband, and partner.

I would have been open to an open marriage or at least open to the idea if she had been willing to talk to me. I feel so lost. My heart is drowning in grief.

The other day at lunch my wife said I’ve changed. I use to never argue with her and now I do. I told her because I was tired of being corrected in front of our friends. And the corrections are so stupidly minor.

For example, we were going to dinner with friends. I was driving and telling a story. I said this woman in my story had a green dress on. My wife interrupted and said it was teal. I was like ok whatever. I went on with the story and mentioned a street. She said it wasn’t oak street it was oak avenue.
I know it sounds small and petty but she does it all the time. It’s minor corrections about things that don’t matter and she’s not always right either.

When she said I’ve been more argumentative I just told her I was tired of being corrected about minor things in front of our friends. Things in stories that don’t matter. Who cares if the dress was teal not green. Who cares if it was avenue and not street. (I was right on that one and I showed her)

I just feel like she’s belittling me in front of our friends and I’m tired of it.

Hello all I wrote a post about my wife never orgasming here https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/s/WRrWQ4oxPN

So since this post we’ve purchased some toys at the suggestion of some of the posters. We bought several but she found one she really liked. A vibrating anal plug. We had sex with it in and she orgasmed several times intensely. Since that day she’s wanted sex everyday multiple times a day. It’s getting exhausting.

I wasn’t complaining about frequency in the OP, as we were already having sex several times a week. Im not exactly complaining now because I know I’ll get some negative comments like “so many guys would give anything to be in your shoes” etc. I’ve created a little orgasm monster and it’s honestly getting to be a bit much. I’m worried if I tell her to tone it down a bit she’ll take it negatively and maybe ruin the progress we’ve made.

Idk anyways your suggestion were great and worked well, just perhaps Too Well.

I need outside opinions because I feel like I’ve gone over this so many times that I don’t know what to believe anymore.

My husband went to Las Vegas for a work trip that fell on our anniversary. There have already been trust issues throughout our marriage. He has texted other women before and there have been other situations where I found things out after the fact instead of him being completely honest with me upfront. The night/morning that is bothering me, he stayed out basically all night drinking/bar hopping with coworkers.

At around 5:00 a.m. Vegas time, I actually woke him up by calling him and told him he needed to charge his phone. We did not talk long.

Then approximately 30 minutes later, around 5:30 a.m. Vegas time, a $500 Apple Cash payment was sent from his Apple Cash account to a woman I have never heard of. Her name wasn’t on it just a phone number.

He says he did NOT send it and has no idea who she is.

We reported the transaction as fraud to Apple/Green Dot and also disputed it with our bank, and we are still waiting for the investigation results.

He also had about $200 cash on him during the trip, but apparently wasn’t using that cash for the night out. That confuses me too because if he was just drinking and hanging out with coworkers, I don’t understand why the cash wasn’t being used but $500 was somehow sent through Apple Cash to a woman he claims he doesn’t know.

Then his Apple Watch disappeared. He doesn’t normally wear the Apple Watch around the house, but he usually wears it when he travels. He says he has no idea what happened to it.

I found the woman the Apple Cash payment went to and tried contacting her. She never responded or explained why she received $500 from my husband, even after I told her the transaction had been reported as fraud. I’m not contacting her anymore and am just waiting on the investigations.

There were also charges from bars at Caesars. He told me they spent the night gambling, walking around and going to bars, but I could never really get a clear timeline of the entire night.

The reason I’m having such a hard time believing him is because this isn’t the first trust issue in our marriage. Throughout our relationship he has texted other women before, and there have been times when I initially got one explanation and later learned more.

He is home now acting like everything is completely normal while I’m still sitting here wondering what actually happened.

I’m not saying the Apple Cash payment automatically proves he cheated. I’m waiting for the investigation before making that conclusion. But the combination of me speaking to him around 5:00 a.m., the $500 being sent to an unknown woman only about 30 minutes later, him claiming he didn’t send it, the missing Apple Watch, being out all night, not having a clear timeline, having cash on him that he apparently wasn’t using, and our previous trust issues is making it very hard for me to believe that all of this is just coincidence.

If your spouse told you this story, would you believe that the $500 payment was fraud and he truly knew nothing about it? Or would you think there is more to the story?

Hi there. I’ve never really dealt with something like this before, so I’m looking for some perspective on how to handle it without jumping to conclusions.

My wife has always been the kind of person who leaves her phone lying around the house. She actually loses it pretty regularly because she forgets where she put it. Over the past few weeks, though, I’ve noticed that she keeps it very close to her, sometimes literally carrying it around tucked under her armpit.

Something happened today that really struck me. I couldn’t find my phone, so I asked if I could use hers to call mine. I walked over and casually slid her phone out from under her arm, which normally wouldn’t have been remotely unusual between us. Her reaction seemed strange, though. She didn’t get angry, but she almost seemed like she was restraining herself from reacting. She immediately said, “Oh, I’ll call it. It’ll be easier if I do.”

I told her it was fine and that I’d only need it for a second. As I walked around the house calling my phone, I noticed she was hovering around me in a way that felt unusual. Once I found my phone and handed hers back, she immediately tucked it back under her arm.

Maybe this is completely innocent, and I don’t want to convince myself that something is happening based on one interaction. But between her suddenly keeping her phone physically close to her and how uncomfortable she seemed when I had it, my gut is telling me something has changed.

So what’s the appropriate way to handle this? Do I simply tell her what I’ve noticed and ask if I can see her phone? Or, if I genuinely suspect something, do I wait until she leaves it unattended and check it myself? I realize secretly going through someone’s phone raises its own trust and privacy issues, which is why I’m asking before doing anything.

Please don’t tear me apart in the comments. I’m not accusing my wife of cheating or anything else at this point. My wife isn't the kind of person that I would suspect is having an affair due to some childhood trauma she has an inherent mistrust of men, but I'm wondering if there might be something else she is hiding. I noticed a change in behavior that made me uneasy, and I’m trying to figure out the healthiest way to respond to it.

This is a burner account because it’s personal so here goes… I’m struggling with how to get over some things. I met my wife and early on she told me about being raped and how that led to her daughter. She also clearly insinuated that she hadn’t really dated in the five years since then. She said that she dated one guy for a few months but broke up with him because she wouldn’t give him sex essentially.

I’m religious, and so is she. I am previously divorced. I had only been with my ex wife and that marriage ended because my ex left the church and decided that she wanted to experience more variety in her life. She asked me for an open marriage or a divorce and I gave her the latter. That background is important because it frames how I view sex as something special. Dating wise, I wasn’t fundamentally opposed to someone who had a lot of sexual experience but the way they talked about it and the type of experience mattered to me. Long term boyfriends bs one night stands, etc… it mattered.

So based on what my now wife said during our dating experience I got the impression that she was essentially a virgin outside of the rape that led to her daughter and that she hadn’t really dated. I may have inferred it by piecing together information but enough that it was discussed and she was aware of it. We had a whirlwind romance and ended up engaged about six months after meeting.

While we were engaged, she started to initiate sexual stuff and honestly I felt pretty honored. She was this gorgeous woman who had sexual trauma issues and it seemed so beautiful. She acted as if everything was totally new to her in the way a virgin would. Commenting on orgasms and other things as new experiences.

Shortly after she confessed that she had a couple other assault style interactions with men. An ongoing thing with her ex boyfriend where it was sort of a chronic toxic relationship with a handful of traumatic borderline assault situations and another event involving her getting drugged and potentially something happening.

That totally shook me but I loved her and these were terrible things. I reeled for a week or two but ultimately assured her it wasn’t her fault. Some conversations let on that the relationship with her ex was a mess and there was a real pattern of toxic abuse that she came in and out of. I learned that it was actually a four year on again and off again thing and they lived together as recently as six months before I met her. But she said it ended there and I took her word.

We got married three months later and we started our blended marriage including her getting pregnant. I made the mistake of looking through her phone and found some nudes from right before we met. This was two months after our wedding. And the story came out that she had actually been with her ex up to and after we started dating. After our first few dates, she had to go back to Texas (we live in California) for a few weeks and I planned to visit her there. Well the night before she went back to Texas she went to his place and slept with him. I flew out to Texas and couple days later under the assumption that she hadn’t dated in five years mind you. So she comes clean about all that and it sends me into a tailspin. I don’t know what to do with it all. But she’s my wife and we’re expecting a little girl and I believe in forgiveness and I love her. So I forgive her and time goes on.

And then other weird lies start creeping in. She’s a stay at home mom so we combine finances, and this is the time of covid checks and she lies about losing her covid check. I go through a couple week process to get it back and she finally confesses that she cashed it and spent it on beauty stuff. I get it’s tough to combine finances so I let it go.

Then there were wired lies around cosmetic stuff. She lied about getting hairs extensions and eyelash extensions. Like straight gaslit me as I noticed they looked different. I saw her younger pictures and said how she looked different and she told me I was mean for noticing her nose looked different. I made a couple of comments over months on how it just seemed like she must have done something and she made me feel like a body shamer. But I saw a text come through talking about how she had two rhinoplastys. Mind you this is a year after we were married that it comes out. She had sort of misled me about her breast augmentation while we were dating but came clean before we were intimate.

There were a few other weird things, lying about where she would go even when it was just like Walmart and Target and other stuff. She even made up a couple of texts that my ex sent to her and other things with my ex to try to stir up stuff. Just sort of bizarre low key stuff.

And then about two years into marriage it finally all comes out about her sexual past. I caught her in a couple lies and she had no choice but to give me some and then it trickled out over the next few weeks as I pushed against everything I knew, The rapes were real but there were at least another ten or so men throughout the time from her first rape to when she met me. Lots of them first date type deals, several boyfriends. Consensual, sec videos with them, and some other things that made some pieces click. At least a handful of guys within a few months of meeting me as she was single and just out there.

She told me that I put pressure on her and that she felt like I would judge her and that I wouldn’t have chosen her. The thing is that she is right. I couldn’t have gotten over it. It’s just not a good fit for me. But I also made the mistake of asking for too much information after it all came out so now I know too much but it felt like I had to know to make sense of it at the time.

So here I am a couple years after all that, and I just don’t know how to get over it. My wife is very sexual and I used to think I hit the jackpot there but now it just makes me feel bad because I don’t know what’s real. Nothin new has come out but I also can’t help but feel it’s because I found everything I’m going to find and all the other reveals tended to be because I caught her.

I know that I’ve painted her as pretty atrocious above but she’s the most charming, fun, beautiful woman and she’s just a terrific mom. And her backstory is tragic so I get her self preservation habits. But I feel stuck. I forgive her but I don’t know that I can get over it.

TLDR; wife lied about her sexual past and lots of other stuff until after we got married. Some of which would have probably been dealbreakers for me. The truth came out slowly and was always forced by me finding something to extract a confession. Wife is awesome in so many ways but I feel like sex is always going to be emotionally painful for me because of it all. I recognize that a lot of this is a me issue but I struggle because I dated knowing what my hang ups are and I feel like she purposefully lied to go around those.

Edit/clarification*** just to be clear my wife never cheated on me that I am aware. She did sleep with her ex after we went on a couple dates but we hadn’t had any discussion of monogamy. If she had told me about it then it wouldn’t have struck me at all as cheating. It would have been a big deal to me but that’s not what we are talking about. She displays almost no cheating energy generally. All the other guys were before me. She obviously has a lying problem. My daughter was conceived nearly a year after we met and her ex lives out of state so it’s not impossible but pretty unlikely that’s an issue. Resemblance isn’t uncanny but there’s enough there that’s not really my issue.

My husband and I used to have exciting and frequent sex when we were dating, but it dwindled as we moved in together, got stressful jobs, had kids etc. Sex was unimportant and unpleasant for me for a long time. During my second pregnancy, my sex drive just shot through the roof and I had a sexual awakening. I thought I was just horny for sex initially but then realized I actually craved passion and connection. Suddenly I really wanted to work on our sex life. I had a talk with my husband and he wanted to do better. Things were improving but the thing is I am still not satisfied. Two things are lacking. One is I can’t orgasm. I can only cum in a specific way. He used to do a move to me and it would almost always make me orgasm. But over the years, he seemed less interested and has made comments here and there, nothing rude or insensitive, but it made me self conscious so I have stopped wanting it. Second is he just doesn’t seem too passionate. I am not talking about sex, just passion that shows he is hungry for me. He has hang ups on many things so being uninhibited doesn’t come natural to him. I am so frustrated and unsatisfied that I cry when I read spicy Reddit posts or after getting myself off with porn. I have communicated more since our first talk, but he doesn’t seem to get how sad I am. Just now, he suggested that I take my daughter for a mom and daughter weekend trip. Not a hotel night where we can experiment and lust over each other as a couple, just more motherly things I need to do. I know it comes well intentioned as he saw how sad I have been lately and I would love that, but how come he doesn’t get that’s not what I need right now?! If anyone has ideas of how to help with the communication I am all ears.

You never orgasmed during it?

I’m pretty sure the answer is no.

I’m going to have another conversation with my husband btw.

I’m just so lost and it’s really impacting my feelings towards him in general. I’m turned off.

We have been married for 21yrs. Met young. Completely my fault but for the first 18ish years I faked it. Now, at 44yrs old, I want to be fulfilled!!! I’m sick of having sex just for him. I get a text every week asking if I’m available on “said day” for sex. I have told him things to do in the bedroom that would turn me on. He never did any of it. I told him I don’t have organisms during sex he said he bought a vibrator. That was over a month ago and I haven’t seen it. Also, I can do it myself, no problem 🤷🏼‍♀️.

So…men? What’s the deal? What do I need to do to help him understand?

My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 9. We have two children together. One of the biggest issues in our marriage recently has been his relationship with a female coworker who also became his business partner.
When they first started working together, I was supportive. I have never had an issue with my husband working with women or having female friends. I’m also bisexual, which my husband has always known, so this isn’t coming from a place of believing he can never interact with another woman.
My problem has been the boundaries specifically with HER.
He started talking about her constantly. It felt like she came up every single day. He wanted to spend time with her outside of normal work situations and wanted to spend weekends with her because of their business.
Meanwhile, I had been asking my husband for months for basic quality time—walks, conversations, spending time together—and often felt like I had to fight for that attention. Watching him suddenly have so much time and emotional energy available for another woman was difficult.
Another major issue was that private conversations I had with my husband about my discomfort with their relationship would somehow make their way back to her. Instead of being able to privately tell my husband, “This particular dynamic is making me uncomfortable,” I started feeling like my feelings were being discussed between the two of them.
But something happened that made me question the situation even more.
My husband knows that I am bisexual and that, at different points, we have discussed sexual things involving women. Somehow, the conversation eventually turned into him mentioning the possibility of the three of us—me, him, and THIS coworker/business partner—having sex together.
That really upset me.
It wasn’t simply the idea of a threesome that bothered me. It was WHO he suggested.
I had already repeatedly told him that I felt like he was bending the boundaries of their relationship. I had been telling him that the amount of attention, time and emotional energy he was giving her was making me uncomfortable.
So hearing him suddenly suggest her sexually made me think, How are you able to switch that boundary so easily?
This is supposedly just your coworker and business partner. I’ve been telling you that your relationship with her already feels too intimate to me, and you’ve been defending it as professional or innocent. Yet now you’re comfortable considering her as someone the two of us could potentially have sex with?
To me, those two things don’t line up.
And my bisexuality doesn’t mean I’m automatically comfortable sleeping with any woman my husband finds attractive. Being attracted to women doesn’t erase the boundaries of my marriage.
If anything, his suggestion made me question whether some of the boundaries I thought existed between them actually existed in HIS mind.
I don’t have proof that they’ve physically done anything, and I’m not going to claim they have.
But between constantly talking about her, wanting to spend so much time with her, discussing aspects of our marriage with her, defending their relationship when I expressed discomfort, and then eventually suggesting that the three of us have sex, I feel like I’m justified in questioning whether this became more than a normal coworker/business relationship.
What bothers me the most is that I feel like I spent months saying, “You’re getting too close to this woman,” only to eventually hear, “What if we slept with her?”
For me, that almost validated why the relationship had been making me uncomfortable in the first place.
Would that suggestion change how you viewed their relationship?
Would you consider this an emotional affair, sexual interest with poor boundaries, or am I connecting things that shouldn’t necessarily be connected?

hi everyone. -opinions and advice welcome

Husband M(30 turning 31 nov) Me F(29) have been together for 6 years, dated 4 married since aug 2024

We got into an argument about car rage after our date on the way home.. which he always have and i yelled stop just stop stop (stop speeding) and he got mad I said that and yelled back No No No and we came home he threw shit around and broke my fav lamp and he said it was not out of malice -_-
Anyways he said other mean horrible things like “i married you out of pitty” (i was born outside the us.. so he helped me with USCIS) when he finally said something to address it, he said he thinks he has a split personality bc when he’s mad he becomes a
Different person. Which he does and its scary. Child is btw this mess he is 4, autistic. We will talk some more tonight bc he was busy with work.

This is probably a very beginner question but this is all completely new territory for me. I’ve never been married or really had a serious relationship before. I’m a Christian and always felt pretty strongly about waiting for the right woman rather than dating just for the sake of dating. I finally met her and I genuinely feel like God answered a prayer I’d been carrying around for years. I’ve been quietly saving for the ring she loves and I’m finally ready to buy it. I’m ridiculously excited. Even thinking about walking out of the jewelry store with it makes the whole thing feel real. But there’s one practical thing I somehow never thought about: what do I do with the ring between buying it and proposing? It’ll probably be a few weeks and having something that valuable sitting in a drawer at home makes me a little nervous. Do jewelers ever let you pay for the ring and leave it with them until you’re ready? Then I could just bring my receipt and pick it up the day of the proposal. Or is that overthinking it and most people just take the ring home and keep it somewhere safe?

I’m a sahm of three kids under 5. And have a new infant. Immediately after having him my husband’s work schedule changed to way earlier by 4 hours. So since our baby was less than a week old I’ve been doing basically it all on my own.

He’s been saying he can’t deal with the marriage anymore. Tells me he doesn’t want to deal with my mental shit. Even when I’m just telling him how I’m feeling. Like insecure, overwhelmed, burnt out. But says that’s being a sahm. It’s my job and the he works. But he’s not seeming to want to talk at all resolving anything just becomes a circling argument.

I don’t even get excited about him coming home. He’s always in a bad mood. I can’t show my exhaustion or take a break to lay down for ten minutes without him getting annoyed if I don’t get up to clean up a toddler mess. No mental break at all. But I’m expected to tend to him still and happily.

I feel like he’s not interested in the relationship at all anymore. Just get rage baited, belittled, and feel like a burden if I’m not doing everything to his expectations. He works 6 days a week. And does whatever he wants without saying anything to me. It’s like he’s a single guy. And I honestly feel like he’s staying for the convenience of me being here to do it all. Or maybe doesn’t want things to change.

I feel like a maid or roommate. And I’m just done. Emotional I’m disconnected and I keep trying to fix a marriages issues alone.

Anyone ever had their spouse say something disrespectful to them? What was it? How did you react? Was it a pattern?

I have gynecomastia. It’s pretty serious and gets worse as I workout and such. I kind of have to stay a little chubby to make it not super noticeable. If I lose weight, it becomes more noticeable.

I asked my wife if I should get the surgery, and she told me that it’s completely normal for my people (I come from a tribe who for some reason, we like to carry fat in our chest).

So now I’m in this limbo. I really wanna get the surgery. I’m tired of having man tits. But my wife doesn’t think I need it, and that it’s too expensive for the cost. What should I do and how should I go about explaining this?