42 M, PM with a fortune 500. Some folks will miss this one fo sure lol.

As an American that just escaped from there to come to Nigeria... your better of not going where you are always a target...

Hey everyone,

I need to get some perspective from you guys because I'm genuinely trying to make sense of the dating scene here.

I’ve lived abroad for most of my life, so I didn't date much within our community until I came back. Since I returned, things have just felt a bit weird on the relationship front. To be honest, it feels super transactional.

Don't get me wrong, girls abroad like gifts and nice dates too. That’s normal. But here, the expectation just feels totally different. In my recent relationships, I constantly feel like I'm buying love. It's direct cash requests for everything: money for hair, money for nails, money just because they’re going out with friends, or just random requests for cash. Back when I had a white girlfriend abroad, offering cash as a gift was actually weird to her. Here, if you aren't sending cash, it's like you aren't doing anything.

Just recently, I had a discussion with my current girlfriend where she literally told me she doesn't feel loved because I don't give her money enough. Which blew my mind because I actually do, and I'm always taking her out to nice places.

This was her exact text to me

"I love money first. Well, everyone loves money, but not in a bad way. I really like when someone is attentive, like doing something I didn't ask for, as if you're reading my mind (which will be hard for you). And when you do lots of surprise gifts for me, that reassures me. Being told words of love isn't enough for me, you have to prove it."

To make matters worse, she even claimed at one point that I don't give her anything at all. Standard-wise, I'm 24 and she's 22. Anytime wey we see, I go drop like ₦70,000 to ₦90,000 for her, and anytime we meet, I must drop at least ₦30,000 for her transport fare. If she dey talk say she need airtime, I go send like ₦70,000. The highest amount I don give her at once na around ₦200,000 because she talk say she wan buy wig.

Honestly, I really struggle to just hand over cash for no specific reason because it literally feels like I'm buying her affection. But after all this, she still dey talk say "I no dey give her anything." I no even know wetin to do again, and I no know wetin be the "acceptable" standard budget for dating here.

At this point, I'm just confused. I feel like if she’s my girlfriend, making her happy is normal. But where is the line between a real relationship and just paying for a "girlfriend experience"?

I don't want to bash the whole community because I know everyone isn't the same. Maybe there's a cultural shift I'm missing, or maybe I'm looking in the wrong places.

For anyone who's dated here and abroad, is this hyper-financialized dynamic just the default now? How do you guys set boundaries without looking like a stingy guy?

Before October 1, I want to show you a small example of how the files actually work.

One claim that kept coming up during the research was that Bola Tinubu was a CIA asset.

We looked into it properly.

And no I don’t think the public evidence proves that.

The CIA side of the US litigation is actually quite interesting, but once you read the court’s reasoning, the limit becomes pretty clear.

The plaintiff argued that material already published in the CIA’s own reading room showed that relevant records must exist.

The court wasn’t convinced.

It specifically said those documents fell far short of an official acknowledgement of records concerning Tinubu. Even the plaintiff acknowledged that Tinubu’s name wasn’t directly in those documents.

So I’m not going to turn that into “Tinubu was CIA.”

Maybe more information exists. Maybe it doesn’t. The present record simply doesn’t answer that question.

But something else from the same litigation is much clearer.

The US Department of Justice officially acknowledged that Tinubu was one subject of a criminal investigation involving, among others, the FBI and DEA.

That isn’t my interpretation. It comes from the federal court record.

And there’s another distinction that matters just as much:

Being investigated is not the same as being convicted.

I found no criminal conviction of Bola Tinubu arising from that matter, and the files do not claim there was one.

So, in plain English:

Tinubu was a CIA asset — not proven.

Tinubu was a subject of an FBI/DEA criminal investigation — documented.

Tinubu was criminally convicted in that case no.

This probably annoys people on both sides, which is fine.

The point of the project isn’t to collect the worst possible things anyone has ever said about someone and publish them as fact.

Sometimes a claim survives the documents.

Sometimes it doesn’t.

And when it doesn’t, it stays out.

That same rule applies on October 15 with Obi and October 30 with Atiku.

Same standard.

— Dr. Vero

There is a lot of social media noise about Port Harcourt and the Ikwerre? There is also plenty of noise from the east over access to the Atlantic Ocean. My take is simple, that since we are in a democracy, let each ethnicity decide where they want to belong, either on their own, or aligned with other. The noise on social media is really much. People should willingly democratically have a choice, instead of being bombarded and intimated over an issue that has a simple solution. Clearly the Ikwerre are Igbos - but I ask one simple question: what if they refuse to be part of the Igbo region, will you force them?
Let us all take note that N. Wike is only 58 years old, and will certainly take this opportunity to want to lead a South-South region. He will refuse that Rivers State be part of Igbo region. So what will happen? Because the Igbos can not force their way through - it has to be a democratic process.

Made by me

This post in a response to the hidden account, u/NewtProfessional7844 's dictator glazing post from yesterday.

The only fuckin' reason to keep glazing a never implemented idea by is to keep "lost causing" imagined Utopias of simple narratives instead of actually muddling through reality. Because they are not actually interested in Africa and the rest of the world developing and becoming economically autonomous of the US Dollar system as it increasing is... but instead, their care is circlejerking over "America Empire bad".

Actually successful breaks from an American dominated financial system not optimized for Africa is far less useful to that narrative than more "we could have almost done that but then, 'Merica".

No, we can and are actually breaking from the dollar only world trade system. No, trying to and successfully breaking away from that won't get you killed. Zimbabwe and Ghana are literally doing in all but extent of hype the exact thing that Gadaffi said for like 12 years that he wanted to do and there has been no invasion.

This one is a little different today. No politics. No investigations.

No debates.

Simply Nigerian history. Over a millennium ago long before the modern country of Nigeria existed , a fascinating civilization was crafting sophisticated metal objects in the modern-day Anambra State. This was Igbo-Ukwu. In 1938, in a man named Isaiah Anozie, when digging a cistern for in compound , he stumbled upon objects that had for been buried deep in the earth.

What he had unearthed would later emerge to be one of the most incredible archaeological discoveries in Nigerian history.

Subsequent excavations revealed that sophisticated bronze and copper objects, beads, vessels, ornaments , and ritual artefacts, that dated all the way back to approximately the 9th Century AD. Consider this date: the 800s. These were pieces, exhibiting an incredible mastery of metal working , many of which were fashioned with sophisticated lost-wax casting technology.

The details contained on surfaces were intricate, depicting insects , animals , ropes, and patterns in the most incredible detail. It was not only metalworking that Igbo-Ukwu shed light on: they indicated that this culture was not in isolated corner of Africa. Thousands of beads were unearthed , and analysis of their components, assisted to paint a richer image of long-distance commerce linking parts of West Africa to regions far beyond its borders.

The ancestors of modern Nigeria were engaging in the complex worlds, economic and cultural, long before the European imposed colonial order.

But this is far from all that the history of the Nigerian lands tell: Nok , a tradition of terracotta sculpture that dates back well over two millennia; Ife , famous its exquisite naturalism with its famous heads; the great Benin bronzes; the empire that once stood in Oyo ; Kanem Bornu , a centuries long existence in the Lake Chad basin; thriving commercial and academic centers of scholarship that served the extensive Sahara trade that would grow in importance in cities such as Kano and Katsina . Nigeria did not just 'acquire' history when an administrative line was drawn on its boundaries , it brought together various distinct historical societies under a single name , and beneath that name lies histories centuries, sometimes millennia , deep. That's one of the amazing things about studying Nigeria, the more you dig, the more ancient the story becomes. In the case of Igbo-Ukwu, that's also literal: a man digs in his compound for cistern, and by chance, opens a window into another Nigeria that had existed 1000 years before he was alive.

Modern Nigeria; Ancient Nigerian history.

A bit of history class today .

– Dr Vero

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I worry that there is a continuously shrinking space in the minds and time of young Nigerians. Young people have been through a lot and are till going through it not just in Nigeria but across the world. We've had to endure a brutal 9 to 5 grind that only caters for the basics and leaves little to no time for other necessities. We have our better privileged and enlightened people leaving the country in droves in search of greener pastures. We have all our leisure time consumed with trivialities and entertainment like the latest gist from a celebrity or the premier league. We have the children of rich and better positioned families who would rather devote all their time and financial resources to online gaming. And in all of this, there is a society slowly but steadily coming undone.

Now I'm not saying these are bad things or that I should tell anyone how to live their lives or spend their money. I am just worried that in the pit of danger, our best, brightest and most privileged hands and minds are not here to think out or think through a solution to anything. Our online discourse is dominated by bickering and fighting, ruminating and lamenting over the problems and the woes and there is little to nothing about thinking out and galvanising solutions as a community/society that has the prerogative to help ourselves.

Please do tell me if I am wrong. We need to save the space and time for productive discussions and we need to reclaim our autonomy of our minds and time!

Now, that our app is in Open Testing in the Play Store and available for iPhones via Apple’s TestFlight app, we have been running ads to build our early cohort.

Given that we are running Meta ads from our WhatsApp we have had many unexpected responses. We have had guys looking for porn (all Kenyans for some reason), and we have had this one drag into a philosophical/religious/cultural conflict in two messages.

The mindset is one that I am hyper aware of but could not help being taken aback by it nonetheless.

That mindset is 1/2 the reason we built AfroMax as a cultural lifestyle platform for the Global Black Community. Time will tell if it would make a difference, but I am hopeful.

And now, for the ask:

If you are interested in seeing how far AfroMax has come this far, get the app here:

https://afromax.app/pages/download/

Does anyone have experience enrolling in Canada, what's your experience and why did you go?

Nigerian HC website lists just a few and none are in my area. Web searches return some names but they are listed as unverified.

How much did it cost and how long before you get your NIN, were you able to verify it through a 3rd party process?

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I feel like I just see weddings happen but who’s sponsoring the happenings? This is in part for me and my expectations but also because I feel that it’s a bit obscure. Is it the bride&groom, the parents? or should I start a crowdsourcing/gofundme? 😭

All jokes apart, what are the general customs and is it different for nigerians in the diaspora/abroad?