Never. Not one. Movies and books don’t count.

I have never seen a couple and thought wow, that is how it should be. That’s how I would want it.

I can’t know what people’s relationships are like behind closed doors. I get that. But I would guess it only gets worse not better in most cases when no one else is around.

I wish I would have realized when I was younger that people treating others like shit is the norm, not the exception.

So after almost 30 years of marriage I am happily single. I was in a not great relationship. Finally, I am newly single and am truly happy in a very very long time. I have been single for 3 months and I am enjoying this wonderful new found freedom that everyone keeps talking about. Loving this life!! I just made myself a pan of corn muffins and have my playlist set to binge Yellowstone’s 1st season of MARSHALS. No one to judge me. No one to interrupt. I’m like WOW!! This feels so wonderful that I can pinch myself!! Thank you for listening 🥰 Much love to all and keep being happy and single!!

I'm new here and I felt like I found my people lol! all is in the tittle !

I'll start ! I'm about to turn 42 in november...I've been in a relationship that was really abusive for 13 years then he left me and I spend year trying to find someone...then while on therapy I realize that I don't want to be in a relationship, that I was seeking validation because of my long term relationship. Then I start thinking about it more and I had this realisation : I don't want to date, I don't want someone in my house, I don't want someone to travel with, I'm just happy to be single that was really liberating ! Since this moment I have a better relation with my friends and my family, I'm in better shape, I have new hobbies I'm living my best life! My only regret is that I didn't realize it sooner but I'm taking the best of it now! So when and how do you realise ?

For the past few years, I always felt like an outcast in today’s society because I was always spending time alone. Most of my friends already have a partner, while I’m still single at 19 years old. With how much society looks at marriage as a milestone and being single as a failure, it’s easy to be ashamed of it. I know I have for quite some time.

But after hearing about how shallow and co-dependent most relationships are these days, especially how miserable most people are in them, I feel like being single is a privilege not many people appreciate. I have all the time in the world to focus on anything, whether it’s my hobbies, goals, friendships, everything. Without having a partner that could potentially take away my freedom to these things, it truly feels like a blessing.

I love how this sub normalizes being single and looks at it as a strength. It makes me feel accepted and less alone in how I perceive things. Cheers! 🍹

To my understanding, there is a fair spectrum of what it means to be "single and happy".

Some think that it means, "If I had a choice between a healthy relationship and myself, I will always choose myself". And they think that people outside of that don't belong here.

Some think, "I am super happy to be alone, and I would have to meet someone pretty extraordinary in order for me to break my single status."

Others think we are here because, "You're just bitter because your relationship didn't work out."

Some come here because they've just broken up with someone, and want to learn from the rest of us. And thankfully, there are kind people who guide them onto other subreddits.

Can we PLEASE not gatekeep what it means to be "single and happy"? We all come from different walks of life, and the meaning of this sub means something different for all of us.

* Please feel free to add what it means to you to be single and happy 😊

Imagine someone so perfect for you that you agree on everything, and you can be 100% yourself with total emotional safety, you share the same hobbies, the same sense of humor, you get along with each other's friends, your taste in music and food and art and movies is exactly the same, your cravings sink up exactly, they let you grow, and you're so close it's like you're one person. Because you are one person.

I (m21) have chosen to remain single forever. I do not want to be in a relationship with anyone. The problem is I don't have a template for lifelong singlehood. For most of my life most of my plans and visualizations of them (that i am now getting rid off) revolved around being a man who could eventually have and sustain his own family. Now that I have done away with those I realize that the templates I had for my future are ill fitting for this new life I've chosen. So i recalibrated.

After recalibrating, all I have is, get a high income, save and invest, be generous, be industrious, be respectful and kind, have a good reputation, develop hobbies now only for the sole purpose of alleviating boredom, ensure hobbies are challenging to slow cognitive decline without being unnecessarily time consuming, travel, get a dog or two. That's it. Feels like it's missing something or a few more things but I don't know what. Could be doing fun stuff with friends but I don't have high expectations there so I conveniently left it out. I'm not sure what else I'm missing or if my list is just fine because society hardly presents a reliable script for people who live their lives unpartnered.

For those of you who also do not wish to be in relationships and are thriving, what are some tips and pointers? I'm open to advice from others who are partnered as well. Thank you.

So, for the first in my life, I've found myself single for about 6 months and I absolutely LOVE IT. I've never felt this unburdened by worry and stress, and I have no plans to couple myself again anytime soon.

However, I find myself in a bit of a difficult spot be ause my friends are all settled with families and, understandably, they don't have much free time to hang out or go places together.

Which brings me to my point; I'm a little bit apprehensive about going on trips and visiting museums and such on my own. Historically, I've always had a partner to do these things with, and I'm worried that I'll get to my destination and feel sad and lonely. Not that I can't enjoy stuff on my own, I often go to the cinema or out for a meal, but for the bigger things, I'm worried I'll feel a hole in my life when I'm having experiences and not sharing them with anyone.

Does any one have anything they can share regarding this, please?

Honestly, this mentality shocks me. You’re healthy, you probably have a decent job, your family is doing well, you have friends who love you, and life is otherwise okay but somehow you get on camera crying because you don’t have a romantic partner?

I completely understand wanting companionship.But is being single really something worth crying over? Why do some people act like it’s the end of the world? Is life really supposed to revolve around romantic relationships?

There is so much more to life than having a partner. Your health, your family, friendships, career, experiences, hobbies, peace of mind, and simply being alive all matter too. You really shouldn’t tie your mental state or self-worth to whether someone chooses you romantically.

Sometimes I feel like people have been conditioned to believe their lives aren’t complete unless they have someone beside them, and that’s honestly such a miserable way to live cause even those who have partners one day if they die how will they cope? I think the courage to be able to being okay is so powerful people just don’t understand, it puts you less at risk of exposing yourself to toxicity and desperation for the sake of being with someone

And yes, crying over turning 30 single feels a little dramatic to me. I’m in my late twenties, and honestly, if I turn 30 single but I’m healthy, mentally okay, financially stable, surrounded by people I love, and enjoying my life, I’ll consider myself very lucky. Life is so much bigger than whether you have a partner or not.

30F have been single for 5 years. I used to be in a very healthy relationship until I was 25 but we ended things nicely as he wanted to start a life in his home country and I wanted to start a life in mine.

Comparing my life then and now, I realised I love being single more than being in a relationship, even if the relationship is healthy. But there are problems that come with singlehood that I seem to cannot overcome. This is somewhat a rant but would love to hear ideas and solutions as well.

**Disclaimer: Even with these problems Id always choose single life, it's just that I want to live my single life to the fullest, but unable to due to these issues.

1. Being single is more expensive. I used to split bills and rent with my ex. We shared a one bathroom one bedroom apartment. Now, even paying a small studio by myself is more expensive. Tried renting a room, it did not workout due to different lifestyles, cleanliness level etc.. with other housemates. Also, forget buying a house, Ill never be able to buy one without a double income household.

2. No one to help around when I'm sick. When I have a really bad fever and no energy to even get out of bed. There's no one to ask "Can you get medicine on the way home?" I do have friends and family and tried to text one, but my studio is a bit out of the way from their area. The traffic conditions in my country is really bad, so my friend was unable to get the medicine to me, else it would add another 1.5 hrs to their journey back home after work. Last month, I had dengue and forced myself to the hospital at 2 am, by taking my country's equivalent to an uber. That was the most torturous time in my life.

3. Being "less than" partnered couples. For example, at my workplace, annual leaves applied by those who have families get prioritised first. Also, as my team works in shifts, I only get Wednesdays and Thursdays off, since those with spouses want the weekends off. So Im never able to go out with my friends on weekends. I love my job and have no intention of changing in the near future but the work culture here really discriminates single people (And apparently other workplaces have this too, maybe it's my country's culture of prioritising family?) 😭 Also, If I want to hang out with my partnered friends, I have to schedule it according to their time instead of the other way around.

4. Expectation of availability. Since amongst my 4 siblings I am the only one unpartnered, I am expected to take care of my parents when they get older. Currently, Im not living with them yet, but if they have a hospital appointment, Im the one that has to use my leaves to take them the the hospital. Any emergencies, Im the one expected to handle it. Ive already set my boundary but my siblings don't respect it. And if I don't show up no one will. My parents would miss their appointment. And they can't handle emergencies themselves.

On a sidenote, there's also the regular annoyance of people being "You just haven't found the right one 🥺" when I say Im happy single. I've grown accustomed to that but does anyone have any good comebacks for this? 😂

I love being single but it seems that the world makes it 3x harder for single people to navigate it.

I am in a not great mood. I am traveling with a coworker. We are generally pretty good friends but I am just not in a great mood today exacerbated by a wasp getting inside my pants leg and biting/stinging me then about 5 wrecks nearly happening and her jerky driving style. So while her contribution has not helped I have reassured her like 4 times that my bad mood is not her doing. WHY am I having to reassure a grown ass adult?? Why can I not just be in a bad mood and don't want to be as sociable and talkative?? I am letting you talk. I am not shutting you down. I am doing my best to actively listen, I just don't have anything to say. I don't want to talk today. I am allowed without it being "your fault." HOW do people constantly be around another person when this seems to be how people are....?

Okay. Rant over. Stay single y'all LOL

here is part 1 I love about being single. feel free to comment and tellme yours!

1. no one that I have to explain to where I am going or what I am doing

2. no one touching me when I dont want to e.g when im cooking or chilling

3. not having to share my bed and getting to sleep In peace

4. moving where I want when I want

5. traveling where I want when I want

6. being able to form really close friendships and spand alot of time w them without anyone preassuring me not to

7. getting to get to know new people when not being glued to one person e.g joining a random friendgroup on travels without worrying about someone else.

8. not having someone elses stuff In my space

9. decorating how I want

10. no one guiltripping me to be home

11. no one shaming me for partying

12. getting to live with your Best friend!! and no one trying to change your mind about it

13. having sleepovers with friends whenever

14. not having to akwardly introduce a partner to family vise versa

15. taking a Pet if you wish

16. not having to go through what are we conversations

17. not having to be someone therapist/clearner etc

18. getting to hookup with who u want

19. sleeping in More when no ones waking u up

20. not carrying someone with you mentally

I had a wonderful weekend trip with a few good friends this weekend. We went to the beach and had an enjoyable time. I have lately been content with myself. Enjoying solitude and hobbies. Few frustrations. Tomorrow I will be at silent book club and will enjoy reading some books I haven’t read in a long time. Then over the weekend my plan is to go to a social mixer and have fun with friends again playing pickleball.

I’m going into fall with a clear head and decent mindset.

How have you guys decided to handle this when we will most like end our lives as single and happy individuals? Are you opting for a fiduciary who will be the executor for your estates? An story i used to tell myself was i didnt want to die alone and who would take care of me. Would love to hear approaches to how others are navigating this

I’ve been single by choice for a while now but I live with friends. we’re all in our thirties and have good jobs. for the most part it’s a good living situation. but cohabitation will have its challenges regardless of who you’re living with. we of course have our own rooms but share common areas, split bills, groceries etc. we haven’t had any major arguments or anything. but ultimately i’m not in full control of my home. sometimes i want total silence. sometimes i hate the smell of what some one’s cooking. sometimes i want to bring a date home and get freaky on the couch. sometimes i just want to be alone and not have anyone trying to talk to me or be in my space. i have a long term plan and savings goal so eventually i will have my own space. not in a rush to move anytime soon. but i do feel like im not 100% “single” because I still have to compromise at home. does that make sense? for the other singles who cohabitate with family, roommates, or friends how does it effect how you feel about your singleness? or does it not? any tips or advice for navigating this is welcome!

But I don’t think I’d like to explore it and be in one. I don’t know if it’s out of fear, but I’m choosing my peace.

I’ve recently become enamored with the idea of love songs for single people. Not so much songs about being single, but songs about being your own partner, if that makes sense.

The closest I’ve found is Greg Brown’s Just By Myself- it has that sense of intimacy and affection. Like he’s not just by himself, but intentionally and happily dedicated to the relationship with himself.

Anyone out there have a go-to love song for being complete by yourself?

https://youtu.be/7fdHZbnvY20?is=ycPJ8ok-5p1XQn83

The people talking about this back at r/science are discussing it through the lens of work. But what about your life *outside of* work?? Of course autonomy is the key to my happiness, which is why it feels so dreadful to me to be tied down in a relationship. I'm even struggling with a friend right now who is taking up a lot of my time and whose presence in my life is not particularly healthy. Being able to call the shots in my life, in ALL respects, is incredibly important to me.

People that have been in relationships, could you tell me what sucks about being in a relationship (that is not as obvious as most complaints about partnership)?

I'm a 21 year old man who has decided to stay single for as long as possible. I love it better than when I was not single. But everywhere I go, I see more men being super desperate to find a woman for either sex or d@ting. Why?

Genuine question, why do I feel left out when I hang out with other men as a single man? I feel like all the men around me are just running to find anyone to be in a rel@tionship with, without even clearly knowing what they want from it. When they find out I'm single they go like "yo wtf? You're missing out bruh"

This sub has more women than men in it, meanwhile if you visit the r/ForeverAlone sub, 90% of the posts are men crying over not being able to find a woman.

This seems so pathetic to me. Ngl. I love it when someone declares themselves to be single, I hate it when someone becomes despo over finding a date and then pushing other people for doing the same.

Just for the sake of it, I want more men commenting under my post today. It may seem cringe but I wanna know how many men in this sub are single and proud. So, fellow men, if you have time and energy left, drop a comment, because I'm tired of seeing men around me bashing singlehood.

PS : NOT KARMA FARMING.

One of the last things my Grandma said to me before she passed was “in my next life, NO marriage, NO kids”. Copy that Grammy 🫡

In such a busy world, especially when you’re single and living alone, what do you do just for yourself?

How do you spend your free time, and what little things make life feel peaceful or genuinely happy?