r/SoftwareEngineerJobs • u/Impressive_String898 • 13h ago
When the Interviewer Started With "Oh, You're a Woman?"
I just came out of an interview that honestly made me feel very uncomfortable. I had applied for an Embedded Firmware Developer role, and it fits what I studied and also the thing I love doing. But one of the first things the interviewer said was: "Oh, I thought you were a guy. I didn't realize you were a woman."
For the rest of the interview, I kept feeling like she was questioning whether a woman could handle a position like this or not, especially since it involves some on-site work. Even though the truth is I have absolutely no problem going on-site.
She asked me why I got into this field, but the way she said it made me feel like I had to justify my presence there. Then she started talking about "passion" and said something along the lines of: "Most men are more interested in electronics. They think about circuits all day."
She downplayed the embedded projects I completed during my degree, as if she was implying they weren't that important because they were coursework and not personal projects I did on weekends. I understand that employers want to see initiative outside of school, but her approach made me feel like she had decided from the beginning that I wasn't serious enough because I don't have many hobby projects.
Then she said that being attractive doesn't really help in a role like this, and told me not to take it the wrong way. Like... Okay? I was just trying to look professional and leave a good first impression. I even wore my glasses because I thought they might make me look a bit more "technical," which feels ridiculous now.
And this has happened before too. In another interview for a Mechanical CAD Drafter role, I was dressed neatly, and the interviewers kept emphasizing that the job wasn't just desk work, and that it also involved site visits and field measurements. One of them looked at me in a way that made me feel like there was something else behind what he was saying. Idk... Maybe I'm making it a bigger deal than it is? But I felt like it was assumed I wouldn't be okay with field work just because of how I looked and dressed. As if I only wanted a clean office job.
Honestly, it's really exhausting.