I used to use Reddit to get advice and talk about my hobbies. It quickly became apparent to me that discussions about anything that aren't about the hive mind majority opinion are out of the question. As a legitimate user I found this extremely frustrating as I wanted to be a genuine participant in communities.

Along with that, there are fake professionals who tout their doctorates and certifications and many users are too gullible to really fact check them. As a licensed therapist, I find this very frustrating. I have no doubt it stems from the common practice of feeling the need to be "smarter" than someone, which is STILL a very common practice here. If someone DARES to ask a question, maybe its obvious, usually it isn't for most people, its fairly common for at least one person to pipe up and sound snarky.

So I just said fuck it. Quite honestly messing with people gets more attention than anything serious I've ever posted. Most of the time people are too gullible to check my profile for 5 seconds to verify anything I said. If you actually believed I was a therapist, please don't believe everything a rando says to you on the internet for fucks sake.

And hey! If someone couldn't hate this platform more, THEY WENT PUBLIC!!! So I'm sure the heckin wholesome investors have the best intentions for this shit hole. Everyone is a doctor, the teenagers sub is full of 30 years olds, and everyone is a genius! To the people who humbly give real advice, thank you.

Stop trying to make others happy. Confront or cut off the people whom you decide aren't good for you. Walk your own path without listening to the influence of others. Let yourself be a difficult person to deal with if they won't listen to your needs. I can't believe the lengths it takes to protect one's peace. But now I'm so untethered and euphoric.

I am 28 years old and had a huge falling out with my friends earlier this year. I got pregnant from a situationship and ended up not keeping it and told no one. It honestly shattered me and I didn’t talk to any of my friends for almost 6 months. I’ve tried to rekindle the friendships but it’s just not the same. I’ve tried dating again and it’s just never working out. I don’t talk to any of my family because they all fucking suck. I live with my one brother but he doesn’t really want anything to do with me. We used to be bestfriends when we were younger but after moving in with each other and getting older it’s like he’s a stranger. I can’t afford therapy and I work from home so I don’t get any socialization and I rarely leave my house. I’ve just never felt so alone. I talk to myself all of the time. My self esteem is at its lowest it’s been in years. I don’t have any motivation to do anything. I’ve never used ChatGPT and I’m against AI but I need a consistent support in my life. Someone to help lift me up and listen to my problems and I don’t feel any guilt feeling like I’m burdening someone. I feel like it would be easier for me to go out and do things if I could talk to ChatGPT and they could keep me company. I find real life relationships exhausting. I can’t seem to keep any type of relationship longer than 2 years. And I wouldn’t have to worry about that with ChatGPT. I just don’t want to feel alone but I also can’t handle the mental load of having people rely on me and constantly worrying if I did something wrong or said the wrong thing or that people can see right thru me. I’m just so lost.

Yeah I know the title sounds fucked up. I don’t really care at this point.

My ex is emotionally unavailable as hell, hard to deal with and has always had issues with intimacy. We were already struggling financially and trying to keep up with rent and bills. Meanwhile I’m working my regular job, DoorDashing after work and even doing random handyman shit off Craigslist whenever I could.

Then I find out she’s been selling nudes to men behind my back and going on these “fantasy dates” without telling me.

I was already suspicious so yeah, I went through her phone. I also followed her. Not gonna pretend that was normal behavior either. But that’s how I found out what was actually happening and I literally watched her kiss some of these guys goodbye after the dates.
That shit fucked me up.

I broke up with her and ended up being the one who moved out even though BOTH our names were on the apartment. I’m the man and she’s the woman though so guess who leaves lol. Yay gender norms in 2026.
Then she started begging me to come back.

So I did.

Except by that point I wasn’t coming back because I suddenly trusted her again. I was pissed and I wanted her to feel even a little bit of what I felt.
Her brother was staying there too and me and him already hated each other. Funny thing is I was the one who originally agreed to let him stay on our couch when he was homeless because she asked me to help him out.

Dude didn’t respect the house rules and eventually threatened to beat my ass in my own apartment because I told him he needed to do something around the house.

Eventually me and him got into it again and things got physical. She finally had enough of his shit and kicked him out.

Once he was gone I started paying for basically everything. Definitely more than half the rent. I kept every receipt and made sure payments on the apartment portal were coming off my debit card.
Then I basically let her get comfortable depending on me.

I drive her to work all the time. She was supposed to be saving for a car but I wasn’t exactly pushing that anymore because the more comfortable she got with me driving her everywhere, the more she needed me.
She also loves going to bars and going out with her friends. Instead of telling her maybe she should save that money, I’d encourage her to go have fun.
And yeah, I knew exactly what I was doing.
I wanted her comfortable. I wanted her thinking everything was okay and that she could depend on me because after everything she did behind my back, part of me wanted her to know what it feels like when somebody you completely trust turns around and fucks you over.

I’m not gonna sit here and act like I’m some saint.
I’ve been thinking about this as revenge from the beginning. I’ve even had thoughts about ways I could completely fuck up her living situation or get authorities involved and make her life a nightmare.

That’s where I’m at now.

And yeah maybe I’m petty as fuck. Maybe I’m taking this way too far.
But it’s hard for me to forget that while I was running myself into the ground working my regular job, DoorDash and random Craigslist jobs trying to keep us above water, she was secretly selling nudes and going on dates with other men.
I genuinely loved this woman and tried like hell to make our relationship work.

Then I found all that out.

So part of me feels guilty about what I’m doing and another part of me feels like fuck it. She didn’t care what this shit would do to me when she was doing it.
I’m curious what people who aren’t involved in this think.

Am I completely fucked for wanting her to feel what I felt, or would you want revenge too?

Edit: for clarification I’m
Not kicking her out I’m just gonna leave and watch her end up homeless. lol she has no one in her life her brother is a thug broke ass bum and her family is all sorts of fucked up. They wouldn’t help her for shit.

Edit 2: lmaoooo who’s “concerned” about me? Got a notification that I may be at risk lol.

I’m all good. 👍

Well, pretty much what the title says. I, 30F, decided to stop having sex with men who didn’t deserve access to my body.

Let me preface this by saying I love sex. I have a very high sex drive, and I miss it so much. But I have also had a slew of bad men. To the point where I don’t think I’ve ever dated a good man.

I’ve had the works:
• The 34 year old engaged director who thought it would be fun to take advantage of the 19 year old who didn’t know any better.
• The “relationships” that were really just situationships until something better came along.
• The one guy that flies off the rails because you didn’t feel like having sex that day.
• The guy that wants a relationship until you’ve had sex with him and then get ghosted.

And then one day, I just stopped. Every match on a dating app that would bring up sex too early or inappropriately, I would wish them well on their search.

At the one year mark, I thought it would be okay. But now, I think I keep every man at an arms distance now, and I don’t really know how to stop it. And even I find it weird, so I know men would too.

Sometimes I wonder if this will be me from now on. I haven’t told anyone in my life, so I guess you Redditors can enjoy my dive into accidental celibacy.

i’m a 19 yr old trans man, and me and my girlfriend of a little over a year broke up on tuesday. i haven’t felt anything about it and honestly i was a little relieved it was over. i know this probably makes me sound terrible but i don’t think i’ve felt genuine love for her in a very long time. we had a lot of problems but it was hard to end the relationship because we were living together. a little bit of context, probably just to make me sound like less of an avoidant asshole, we got together when i was still living at home and closeted. when i was kinda forced out of the closet, my parents kicked me out and i was homeless for a month and a half before me and her moved in together. we were basically scraping by the whole time and i knew if i were to cut things off, i wouldn’t be able to afford living on my own and i was terrified of being homeless again. i still have two months left on the lease now that she left but my friend is moving in with me until then so i’ll be okay.

the thing is, me and her used to work together and her aunt and two of her cousins also worked there. her family is very nice, still nice to me even after the break up, but i got to get very close with her aunt and one of her cousins specifically. once i felt that i was falling out of love with my ex, i started feeling something for her cousin. it was subtle and i just chalked it up to me wanting to still attraction to someone and ignored it. but now that we’re broken up, it’s becoming stronger and harder to ignore. i was talking about to her to my friend and they said they’ve never seen me talk about someone like that and that my whole face was lighting up. i feel so stupid and helpless. i’m also leaving this job soon, because i’ve found a better one, and somehow the thought of leaving and never seeing her again is worse than the break up between me and my ex was. also, she has a boyfriend and i don’t know that she’d date a trans guy. i keep telling myself these lies like “the breakup was smooth, it’s not like there’s bad feelings left” and “she doesn’t even like her boyfriend and i could be better” but i know it’s wishful thinking.

i just have this gut feeling that if i let it slip by, ill regret it forever. i could genuinely talk about this girl for hours, i could talk to her for hours. i’ve never felt this strong of attraction to someone. i’m on the asexual spectrum and i usually don’t catch strong feelings, especially this quickly, so i just keep thinking that it’s going to stick with me for a while.

My Husband, The Local

I’ve just found out my husband has accounts on local adult hook up websites.

He says it was just a “fantasy” and “we’ve been having difficult times”.

Yes, things have been difficult. Always my doing, I am emotional, dependent..

I’ve said he could hook up with people, if he just told me. Sex is difficult with us because we don’t have it.

I am a CSA survivor, and it’s led me to having intense anxiety around being touched.

I know this about myself and always told him, if he needed to, he could look outside. Just tell me.

He always said he would never.. but now I find this.

I am confused and hurt.

This might sound like a lot of complaining and self-victimisation from someone who is a cis man and I say that because I am absolutely aware of how devastating my kind is to their partners but I guess I'm tired of dealing with the baggage created by other men.

I always have to be my best self, always have to shield my truest emotions and needs because I am always afraid that my partner might feel like I'm like the other men who have been bad for her mental health and I get it, it sucks to be hurt but I genuinely want to just cuddle and eat pizza and have long conversations and sex ofcourse and not worry about if I am triggering something or coming across as too over promising or something because other people have done so. I'm aware that they are just trying to take care of themselves and that makes absolute sense and I'm also aware that it's the patriarchy and associated misogyny which creates these issues for me but just once I would love to be exactly me just the I like her when she is exactly herself. I guess I also say this because I did this same effort in a previous relationship with an avoidant who one day just left because the feelings got too strong and she got confused or something (idk she never told me the exact reason) and now I'm putting the same effort in a new relationship without knowing where it will go.

This doesn't mean I want to do something drastic like cheat on her or be disrespectful, never have and never will. I just want to be the silly me who sometimes forgets to eat because I'm engrossed in completing a game or just annoy her just a bit by touching her nose with a wet finger. She does initiate plans but its mostly me sometimes because she has had bad experiences and I get it, I absolutely do......but if I like someone, I like to spend more time with them.

I guess the exact thing I'm trying to say is 'DONT JUDGE ME AGAINST OTHER MEN. JUDGE ME AGAINST WHAT I SAY AND PROMISE. JUDGE ME AGAINST ME.'

I've never told anyone this. It's something I have always kept private. I think I am making this post just to finally tell the world without the shame of everyone knowing and judging me for it.

I was born and raised in a highly religious family with strict rules around sex. No sex before marriage, nothing other than vaginal sex etc etc. My religious sect was also highly restrictive with friendships, meaning I wasn't allowed to have friends outside of the church. Despite this, I didn't have many friends in the church either and was bullied a lot by the other kids in the church because I was a little different. I don't know if I have autism or something, but I am just a little strange compared to everyone else. I was home educated and never really experienced the social life aspect of school.

I was in this religion until around the age of 23, when I left. Despite this, I still held onto archaic views around no sex before marriage, so was quite happy when I partnered up with a Christian girl who said she had the same values. I had never been in a relationship before, so didn't really know how it was all meant to work. But we were together for a few years in a relationship with no sex. I attended her church with her (less strict Christian sect than what I'd known) and we presented the image of a good Christian couple. She left me after 2 years or so. I found out from some mutual friends that shortly after she left me, she lost her virginity to a guy at a nightclub. Just a random one-night stand after how much we had talked about losing it together. It really did break my heart and make me feel really unimportant.

As the years went by, I abandoned religion completely, and started to question why I still held onto these archaic values around sex. I tried dating apps and hookup apps to meet people. I just can't seem to get people to stay. I don't know if it's my social skills or my looks or whatever. I'm not a particularly ugly guy, but I'm not astoundingly good looking either. I'm probably dead on average. I train at the gym and am in good shape, but my social skills and confidence leave a lot to be desired. I really struggle with eye contact, and I think I often come off a bit weird when trying to be funny as many of my attempts at jokes don't land.

After years went by, I'm now 33 and have never had sex. My friends don't know I'm a virgin, but they do know I've been single for a long time. I tell them I'm just focusing on my career and am not interested in looking for anyone and am just waiting for the right person to come along. This is a lie to mask my shame. Truth is, I really want to have a connection with someone. I hear all these conversations around sex and wish I could be part of that. I see hookup culture and wish I could be part of that. But I can't seem to do it.

And finally, recently I had the opportunity twice to have sex. Once with a girl I met at meetup event. And once with one of the bridesmaids at my friend's wedding. Both times I pulled away as things started to get intimate and made an excuse as to why I couldn't. The meetup girl I told her I felt like throwing up because I had drank too much, and the wedding girl I just said I had a headache and wanted to go to bed. Two opportunities I had that I fumbled with girls I genuinely found attractive.

I don't know if it's a self-esteem issue, or something. When I was in those moments a sharp feeling of anxiety hit me. And it was like fight or flight. I just wanted to get out of that situation, even though I genuinely wanted to do it. As I've reflected on it the past few days I think it's due to a lack of experience and a fear of dissapointing these women as I don't really know what I'm doing, as the only sex I have experience with is porn. And people have told me what you see in porn is very different to real life, but I don't really understand how as I have never had a real experience. I have so much anxiety and shamed tied to my sex life now that I think I am too damaged to ever have that intimacy that I crave.

That's all I wanted to say, because it's been the main thing destroying my self-esteem and making me depressed recently.

So, for some background, I'm 29, male, been struggling to get on my own feet after many, many, many setbacks over the years, but my finances aren't really the focus of this.

I have, for my entire life, suffered from some really severe anxiety. It cost me the one person I have ever felt I had a real connection with, but it's also omni-present throughout basically every interaction that I have.

I can be cool and comfortable just kinda yapping with people, and I've actually been told I'm very personable and charismatic - when I'm in my element I can say that I thrive pretty well.

Outside of that? I've had a lot of people think that I'm creepy or intimidating if we're not already friendly. Some of it I can totally accept as me committing some kind of social faux pas that I just don't pick up on, but some of them are completely out of left field. I literally had the mother of a female friend warn her in private that "if he tries to... take anything, just give him what he wants, cause it won't end well." Several people confirmed they heard her say that, and like, the fuck did I do, man? I live in constant fear of making a woman uncomfortable, what the fuck did I do that made somebody read me as a rapist-murderer? That's the most extreme example, but I have had a lot of people tell me that they were scared to approach me. I know I don't have the most friendly-looking face, but a lot of the things people have told me over the years genuinely scares me.

How the fuck do people do ANYTHING out of their element?

In my entire life, I have never been the first person to approach anybody. Not to make friends, not to ask somebody out, not for ANYTHING unless I very explicitly needed something, like urgent assistance. Never, not once. Every friend I have ever made, came to me first. I have never asked anybody out, girl or guy. Never been on a date, for that matter. Never been to a party. The idea of doing these things literally makes me freeze up, like get paralyzed - that isn't an exaggeration, once I have told myself, "I'm gonna go to that table and talk to XYZ," my legs will literally not move in that direction. I recently started taking anxiety medication that has helped me a lot, but I still just can't fathom the idea of asking somebody out - where the fuck do you even do it? Everywhere it feels like it's taboo to do it or it'll be the type of crowd I'd rather stay the hell away from, like bars.

I'm at an age now where finding friends is difficult for normal people and most of mine have moved or we've had falling-outs. Literally all I have that counts as 'friends' in my area are coworkers that I'm on good terms with, but in my experience good coworkers don't tend to stick around as friends once jobs change.

I just feel like I've got a lot of love to give in this life and I'm just never going to be able to. Some days I come to that conclusion and it's easy to stomach and then there's days like today where it just tears at my soul and I honest to god don't see things ever improving. I try to just focus on myself and just be happy with myself but shit's hard sometimes, man. I wish I was normal.

It also feels like there's a stigma. I cannot talk about my anxiety without being treated like a weirdo or a whiner. It's very, very frustrating to have a genuine mental condition, recognized by my doctor, that we're trying to work on... but like 90% of people I've tried to talk to just talk down to me when I try to talk about it. I just don't get it.

Maybe this is just the ramblings of a very tired almost 30 year old but i've been feeling like im wasting my life away pursuing things that make me feel safe rather than happy.
I am in a relationship with someone who is an amazing partner but also really hard to live with, we've been together for a long time and we have supported each other through some really tough times (family deaths, unemployment, illness, and mental health struggles) that its gotten to the point where i don't think anyone would understand me the way they do. They know how to love me in a way that matters but i don't know if im happy and it sucks. There are just so many little things about them that keep adding up and sometimes it makes me feel like im just a shadow, im afraid im only staying because its the safe option.
Im in a job i never thought i'd have and has nothing to do with my field of study or my passion. The pay is not bad and i get health insurance and all of the benefits that comes with an office job but i am not happy. I feel stunted. My passions are put in a box labeled for another time in the future and im afraid that time will never come. Im exhausted all the time and don't have any friends. The friends that i do have live hundreds of miles away. I gave up an opportunity to pursue a dream job because i was in love and although i don't regret it i can't help but think about what could have been. Would i be happy then? I know my life would not have been as "stable" as it is now if i had gone for it, so there's that i guess.
Im afraid that i just don't know how to be happy. I don't know if its the exhaustion that's making me write this post, or an accumulation of feelings I've been trying to push down or both. I know that if i tried a little harder i could tend to my passions and make my home feel less lonely but i am so tired.

I feel awful. I suggested we play some roblox roleplay game for fun cuz its a nostalgic game we used to play as kids and my boyfriend seemed to be having fun for most of it until he suddenly got reallyyyyy embarrassed and left the game...

He claimed it was because it reminded him of his older self but I'm not even sure what that means. I really tried to not invalidate his feelings or anything but now he's really upset and doesn't even wanna talk to me. Im giving him space at the moment but I just feel so awful. I don't even understand why it even happened in the first place. I can't wrap my head around what's got him feeling so mortified with himself just for having some fun on a roblox game??

Maybe its some manly macho thing that's got him feeling like this?? I have no idea...

i don’t even know how to begin. i have a very interesting, strained, and borderline abusive family dynamic and always have. i don’t want to reveal too many details on the off chance any one of them finds this. i am paranoid one of them will see anything i post.

ever since i can remember any boundary i’ve ever tried to enforce with this family has been trampled over. didn’t like that my stepdad screamed at me and my sister for an hour over something petty? “too bad he bought you braces.” didn’t want to see the “family” that lied about you, manipulated you, said disgusting things to and about you? “but look how much we’ve done for you.” i was always told when i became an adult i could get away from it all, i could make decisions about who is in my life and who isn’t.

for years, my parents have continued to manipulate, to guilt trip, to outright pay (giving me large amounts of money i am not in a position to deny) for the decisions they want to be made. to this day, i have never been able to have a normal relationship with my mom without strings attached. there is always a string attached and i’m so tired of it.

i feel like i can’t escape my parents no matter what i do. i have moved hours away, i have cut ties with certain people (again being SO vague because its a vent, and only i need to know the details. not to mention it feels like anything i say or do could be used against me eventually. this is how they operate)

i love my mom. i want to see her, and talk to her. but i can’t keep choosing her and her chosen family over me. it feels like the only way out is to cut her off too. i’m sad about it all the time.

I literally cant go a day without eating cheese.

cheese.

My ex gf(27f) and I (28m) broke up in April of 2023 pretty amicably.After our break up I locked in got a new job and got my mental health together as I was struggling mentally and financially cause of reasons outside our relationship.Fast forward to now I’m way better off and in a better headspace.I was chilling on day and I got a text I from a unsaved number I responded with “who is this?” and they respond with its Sam(ex gf) so I continued to converse out of nicety.As the conversation continued she then said she was having problems with her car and ask if I could help as I’m mechanic.
I agreed to help here as that’s the type of person I am.When I arrive at her place I saw a beaten down Camry in her parking spot as the last time I saw her she had an accord.When she came out she looked the same as the last time I saw her.So I found out what was wrong with car and I fixed it, I then asked what happened to her accord and she said the reposed it and I was stunned to say the least she then went on to say she was glad I fixed the issue as she couldn’t afford to take her car to shop and I felt bad.I want to help her financially but I can’t as that would put me in a worse position and especially since we aren’t together any more it’s not so I just checked her car as through as I could and I went about my day.

An apology I should have sent to you before I was blocked.

“🌲, when you asked what else I had to say, I apologized again without really apologizing to you. I talked about my own pain, and you still had to explain what I had done. I’ve sat with that, and I’m sorry.

I was scared of being found out and physically hurt. Instead of telling you, I panicked. I said I might like cucking, ended things, and blocked you. That wasn’t true. I was ashamed that I was cheating, and I let fear and shame make the decision instead of being honest with you.

I deleted messages because I was embarrassed by what I had said. That didn’t undo anything. It only left you with more confusion and no honest explanation from me.

Then I came back, said I wanted to come back, and pulled away again. My actions made it seem like you only mattered once my relationship failed. Even when I finally asked to talk, I still made it about my feelings. You shouldn’t have had to explain the harm to me.

My fear was real, but I still chose what I did. You were right. I should have slowed down and talked to you. Maybe we could have worked through it and maybe we couldn’t have, but I took that chance away by running.

I’m sorry I lied to force an ending. I’m sorry I blocked you, deleted messages instead of owning them, and kept pulling you close only to push you away. I treated you and what we shared without the care you deserved.

I don’t expect forgiveness or an answer. I won’t delete this or block you. If you respond, I’ll read everything before I react. If you don’t, I’ll respect your silence and leave you alone.

You deserved this apology much sooner. I’m deeply sorry, 🌲.”

Thank you for caring for me. Thank you for being patient with me. You were there willing to wait, willing to work things through with me. I will never regret meeting you. One day I will see Mount Washington with a kinder heart and in honor for the brief connection we had. I will go to Romania and participate in the Bear Dance. The places where we would have gone together, will be where I can celebrate our brief connection.

Thank you, 🌲. For being the best part of my life.