I have a feeling you're leaving again, and if so, can you wait until the end of the month? I have something important to do and I want be mentally sound.

have no sense of humor, curiosity, sense of adventure, or depth.

All that you harbor is emptiness, anger, and bitterness. And I almost let it consume me.

Hide behind your nail polish and earthly possessions.

Your looks will fade.

And I will keep going higher, not to spite you, but to prove myself right.

You have no idea who I am. But they do.

I’m only acting like this because you hurt my ego.
You aren’t special.
This is the same pattern I have with anyone.

I need to heal, and I know I'm the problem. I’m a B***, like you said.

I had two people last night. I’m only telling you that because, honestly, I want it to make you mad. I hope it does.

You aren’t special.

I’m only typing all of this because I should be working, but I want something to bother me, something to distract me. I’m stressed, and like I said, I have something important to do.

If I get what I’m trying to get, you’ll be a lost cause to me. If I already had it, I wouldn’t even be talking to you.

I just hope the pilots in town tomorrow, because right now you’ve got my mind in a horrible space.

Idk if u gaf or not, usually not since u make no efforts and decided to move on even within our “relationship” or “bond”. This should tell me enough. I am just gonna forget you with everything i have, this is unhealthy for me. Yeah we been nice, we been cool, i miss everything. But.. everything is just strange, including you. How miserable this shit has made me look or pathetic is just insane. I wont believe a word u say anymore, but if we were to have a last chance, its over when its over. Straight up dead ahead. No lies spoken, no comebacks. But for now enjoy, maybe later, maybe never.. :/ the pain is on me, since it wasnt on u anyways. Abusive shit.

You should've picked the one who wouldnt risk losing you, you should've picked the one who wouldnt consider lying to you, you should've picked the one who didnt falter, you should've picked the one who showed you consistency and honesty. I hope youre happy without that, I hope you can see that someone incapable of that is only going to waste your years.

Id wish you the best too, but you picked her instead.

You asked for space. You wanted time. You have chosen to walk away from our love affair... but the longer this space expands between us, a piece of my heart dies each day.

You may be trying to build a life with someone else, but I know the real woman behind the fears, insecurities & defenses. I know you. I love you. I miss you. I choose you. I'm in this forever...even with a broken heart. 💔

Baby, grab hold of the rope and come back.

~ Me

I wish i never « met » you even though we never met (fortunately for my own security you’re so scarring)

made me realize that I didn’t really lose anything

You have to actually be good to me.

Being a body isn't enough.

You have to be good.

And you're not.

Why yall do that?? Page is full of bike shit again...thought we were passed that!! Ain't seen in her almost a year BUDS!! She been with the 3 of you!! Pretty sure you can stop now!! Oh yeah...still love her 💚

You never saw anything, you never meant anything u said. All you did was be with me and agree to me, which i loved. But you changed into some ugly monster just emotionally abusing a vulnerable person that led to mental suicide. You are heartless and i dont want you talking about how good i am or were to you, i cant find the time anymore to be played around you with the same ways or hear how happy or unhappy you are. You made your decisions and i want you to stay happy there as you broke me. I will take my chances too, and if not. I will not miss you anymore. Our times are over.

You blocked ME?!

maybe i am tht sore loser you see around on tv. i sometimes wish that the bullying i faced had a bit too strong effect on me. id have acc forgot how to make friends. i had 3 of em. wish i was gone instead of them. the guilt still eats me up to this day to why i didnt check on them. people say it isnt my fault. was it my fault? i should have checked on them right? i didnt. i may be scary to some. ugly to some. well they all are maybe right? i really wish i could end things sooner but i cant. to that person i promised i wont do it. i wont. atleast i gotta fulfill this. i havent fulfilled everything that ive said. i genuinely wished that my socializing skills lowk gets destroyed. cuz maybe im js forcing myself on them. maybe i acc dont deserve friends. but im js trying to make them. its better i stop trying altogether. and js flow with the river. i wish people around me understood me. for once. not always. just ONCE. i guess not anytime soon. i wanna disappear from everyone’s life. i guess soon it’ll happen too.

I should be happy, someone is checking on you. We wanted different things. It sucks so much. My heart is thankful for feeling so full. It feels each moment from the smallest things and it feels pain from loss. I walked in then immediately out of Marshall's. I couldn't breathe. I want someone to check on, and that someone to want to check on me.

i saw “eternal sunshine of the spotless mind” today. wish i brainwashed myself and fall in love again with you A. im scared that ill hurt you again. this all feels like a bittersweet enjoyment. guess ill never forget you ever. i miss you a lot. and ill miss you alot too. i love you too. it will hurt in the end. but whats life without hurting ourself without hurting physically. but hey. you are still with me. ill enjoy every bit of it now. and forever.

I would say I apologize but it'll be wasted.... I would say ma'am I been traumatized more than a few times..... I would say this pain will go away, nah I know it will go away.... Ma'am then I'll be lying to myself.... I could this is the first time me seeing something I love go away.. that would be a lie, cause watching the very person you taught a great deal of many things. Sit and lay in coffin, while you whisper to heaven gates (Please......) I must admit watching you, become this betraying hateful person that would rather see us burn hell. What happen to the soft gentle voices that never wanted a storm. I remember me seeing their standing over you while sleep counting every deep breathe you inhale till you exhale you were my sleeping angel 😇. I vowed between every breathe I would watch over you and protect you from everything only if you spoke the words it would be done no hesitation. I hate that I had to force peace upon myself. You know me to say hate isn't in my vocabulary but this time I mean it I release every demon within me so that the world may see what it means to see hatred with a grin. I dislike this force peace.

I buried him deep never to return...its for the best...please stop dredging it up please and thanks...I love this other person I've been and I love all the things that have came along with it!! I like my heart aligned with God I like being clear minded and damn I just don't need the negativity or anyone trying to take me back to what almost killed me!! Im finally healed and healthy and doing good and just fine with whatever comes my way...i can tell when the devil and his soldiers are trying to make me slide...

Fuck your feelings did you ever consider my safety and survival?

You played ignorant, so I had to play insane.

I lost every Shred of respect that I had for you in fact you make me sick how did I ever think that you walked on water ? If you could do that to me and sleep like a baby then guess what just leave me all the way alone. I don't need another pick me build a bitch man with mommy issues no humility No Boundaries and no self-respect clawing me and dragging me backwards .​ rotating through the same old chicks that everyone's rotated through a time or two even that friend said I got me a new chick because even he knew all the ones that you have tagged have already been ran through so many times there's nothing special about them . Keep those raggedy ass hoes​​​​

Time to go

I've had a ton of time to reflect on my actions, and I just want to apologize properly this time. I have a giant message typed up, if you ever reach out. Otherwise, it'll just sit with me. No big deal. Seeya.

I absolutely do not miss you at all! Your wicked ways and devilish grin shall taunt me no longer! Fuck you!!! Sexy bitch.

I keep thinking about you, but in the calmest way. You just pop up in my head as I go about my day. And you give me so many good things to remember; things that I can replay in my head and smile about. One of my favorite moments is when you pop through the double doors, it's like I'm seeing you for the first time all over again; my gaze lingers for a few seconds longer, admiring the beauty of you. I remember the first day I saw you, I was a little star struck, as if my heart recognized you. It's always the first few seconds, like I forgot what you look like and I get to remember it all over again, like I get a nice reminder that you exist.

The moments you've given me to smile about are so simple and I love it. It's when you call me "lady" and make me feel soft. It's when you smile your big charming smile. It's the sound of your laughter. It's the moments when we lock eyes. It's when you imitate me to pick on me. It's the way we banter and horseplay. It's when you stand close to me to show you a video. It's when you grab my wrist to cover it in chicken grease because I teased you about a comment you made. It's the way we keep rolling our inside jokes. It's the way you pick on me to get my attention. It's the way you say my name and let it linger a little longer than most. It's when you send me hearts in your messages and show your softness. It's the way you respect my boundaries, the way you respect my pace. It's the way you're imperfect and not trying to impress me. You feel real. I like that you feel real.

We're taking it slow and I like every second. This feels grounded and I really appreciate it. Do you know any of this, right now? No.. not fully. You seem to shy away a little when things get a little emotionally heavy; that's okay, I'll hold back until you're ready to get more serious. It's still early and we're having fun with it. Hopefully this can grow into something beautiful. I'm not worried about you, I'm excited about you. ♥︎

You say you're lost in the fog, engine ticking,

Static on the radio, compass spinning.

You're playing games with the coordinates I charted,

Rewriting the flight plan since the day we started.

Playing the victim, pretending you missed

The frost on the windshield, the ice in your fist.

​I see you standing by the hangar, watching the tarmac,

Asking for the old co-pilot, but there's no turning back.

You want the man who took off, not the ghost that survived,

The one you tried to ground so you could stay alive.

The instrument panel's glowing red with deceit,

Trying to make me doubt the altimeter underneath.

​You're praying for my demons, calling out for clear skies,

While your fingers grip the yoke, locking in the disguise.

Is it a beacon or a trap to pull me down?

Am I heading for the runway or into the ground?

I'm flying through the whiteout, keeping steady on the track,

While you act like a stranger, hiding what you packed.

​I don't need your clearance, I don't need your late regrets,

I'm cutting the engine on the habits and the debts.

You said the controls are in my hands, let's make it plain—

I'm vectoring away, flying out of your rain.

No amount of static or a fabricated prayer

Is gonna rewrite the storm or put you back in the air.