because you have made it clear that you don’t have feelings for me in your actions and your effort. In the future don’t disrupt someone’s peace.

The universe keeps putting you in-front of me, you are not a coincidence.

I'm fucking pathetic because after all this time, I still miss you and think about you all the time.

I don't ever want to hear from you or see you, but I won't move on either.

I'm sorry! I definitely have a lot of flaws but our relationship was never going to work.

Regardless, I fell in love with your physical appearance, because half the time I wished you never spoke.

You will always be sexy af and the BEST lay I've ever had! but the words that come out your mouth are cringey.

I might have "crashed out" but its because this relationship was never healthy to begin with.

I'm glad I haven't seen you, and you've seen to disappeared because I'm moving forward and disappearing as well.

I just haven't ever been broken up with, but I've learned so much.

I still hope and pray for you 🙏

Please save me

Is almost as bad as knowing… but I’m afraid I’ll never know if you knew.

I use to miss you. It felt nice having someone treat me with such kindness. Taken me out to eat and asking for nothing in return. That month was a month I felt actually happy for once. I caught feelings . I will never see you again & I can't be friends.

Your friend D

Know that i miss you

That's all right though. You helped me dodge a bullet without even knowing it. It's crazy. like how all I do is tell people about how good of a person you are. If I talk about you at all it's always positivity. I'm not an evil person and I deserve chances With people in the future just as you do. I have left you alone for a year now. I'm slowly letting you go on my own internally. It's a very slow process because I loved you that much. Fuck you for posting that shit.

Fuck you for feeding into someone else's smear campaign.

Just fuck you seriously.

You know you should really be focusing on getting a job. Maybe getting your son back in your life. You know worrying about yourself and your child and your criminal boyfriend and not me at all.

Focus on you and if anybody asks you about me...

You should say less.

Or nothing.

I'm actually doing really good in life right now.

So all of the things that you must have said to get that crazy chick to ghost and move out of my house were a serious blessing from the universe. Thanks for delivering!

“I love you, I want to be with you, and I'm willing to put in the work to have a healthy relationship with you.”

But you gave up on us.

And you also said:

“…holding that back would feel disingenuous to me, so I'm always going to be…direct and open and honest.”

And the reason we aren’t together now is because you weren’t direct, open, and honest.

Time to go

i hope our paths cross again. i believe people come into our lives for a reason, and that feels true with you. honestly if it was up to us, we probably wouldn't have interacted given our differences but I believe that’s what so special about it..but leaving things unfinished is hard for me, but I believe it's what’s best. maybe we need to grow apart and find our own paths for now. i don't want to say goodbye forever, so I’ll say see you later.

take care of yourself :)

If I called would you answer and stay with me for a bit?

Even in your breakup text, you said I was everything you’d ever want.

I asked if that was true, how could you suggest we end things? I lost my mind at the idea of losing you. I implied if you’re going to do this, I wasn’t really everything you wanted and you never cared at all.

I know I’ve been unblocked and we made slightly further progress in being cordial since then. I’ve already apologized a bunch for being unfair and overwhelming, and it’s probably ironically even more annoying of me to keep doing that, but I really was.

We’ve gone the absolute longest we’ve ever gone without talking, even if it left off on a good note.

But I realized, a bit too late, that I had not apologized for the right things at all. I kept trying to justify why you made me feel the things I did, when that wasn’t the issue at all.

Regardless of if I think you did anything wrong to me or were wrong in the situation, it was not fair to let my emotions take over the entire conversation. It was not fair to not give you any space at all to have your own emotions.

I know that wasn’t common in our relationship and we never really fought at all, which is why I was so confused that such a small amount of conflict could drive you away, but I really do see I was the problem now. I now believe you liked me as much as you said you did and I understand why you said it wasn’t smart to continue a relationship.

I made arguing impossible and I was overwhelming. I’m not texting you because even if it contains more reasonable wording, getting another long paragraph me would only contradict what I’m trying to acknowledge in this whole thing lol.

But I’ll always always wish the best for you and thank you for being so decent to me when we argued, even when I didn’t see it as kind at the time

All the times you were kind of an asshole, like the time you got all in your feelings because the front door was locked when you had walked out the back door?? The same front door you closed in my face when we had your friend with us. Both nothing compared to you walking away with your arms wrapped around your ex mother in law leaving me alone only to come back with that look on your face asking if our table was ready You had a weird thing with walking, always making sure you were out in front of me.. geez I should have taken that as a sign. I was so let down when you power walked to my side of the car only to crack open my door at the last moment on your way to the trunk. V romantic. All that(and more) and I still like you. I really am a fool. 🙃

I should be happy, someone is checking on you. We wanted different things. It sucks so much. My heart is thankful for feeling so full. It feels each moment from the smallest things and it feels pain from loss. I walked in then immediately out of Marshall's. I couldn't breathe. I want someone to check on, and that someone to want to check on me.

You know, maybe it would have been less traumatic, had I not let myself romanticize our involvement, from the very first time that we began whatever we turned into. How we looked at whatever "it" was, was vastly different for the both of us. I called it out early, and suggested we say farewell kindly, respectfully. But you had not yet gleaned enough from my soul, so you wanted to hang a bit longer.
I was easy to persuade, since you promised all that I was longing for. That promise, was the first in a long string of intermittent lies. The truth showed up soon after. Devastated, yet still pliable. Exploitable too. Exploited my feelings for you, and my compassion, so that you could continue on your path, while resting in the assurance that I'd look out for you no matter what.
I used to think that you were just so troubled. I finally stop lying to myself for you, and faced the truth of the matter, which is that you are calculating, and have no capacity to love someone. Nor do you hesitate to take what you want, regardless of the damage done to others.

Normally I’m fine. It’s taken a while, but I can finally say I’ve mostly healed from that year of abuse at your hand. However, it’s nights like this where I can’t help but feel nothing other than pure anger and hatred.

I hope nothing good ever happens to you.
I hope no one ever forgives you.
I hope you live the rest of your life hating yourself.

You’re evil and selfish. You can change your name, your face, your story but you will never be able to erase the harm you caused to so many people. You’re a coward and I hate you.

everyone has A chapter they dont read out loud. ❤️

Since I can’t have the truth I am calling it quits. Thanks for more trauma than anyone deserves. Cya

I dreamt that I gave you a Papua fruit and you returned it too :/. You also finally called me your girlfriend. God I miss you. I know you never liked me but I was obsessed about you. 🦐

I know you hoped for a better outcome but with such shit effort and accountability and stringing me along for so long, wtf do u expect? I hope u learn to let go, move on, for real. I dont have nasty words to share with u, only a wish for u to have good luck searching for ur real person. It was nice getting to know u, as much as you would allow atleast. I hope u have a real nice life, take care.

​

M,

I’m sorry this week has been stressful, everything considered.

I know sometimes life piles everything on at once. Emotions get heavy, patience gets thin, and even the things that normally feel simple can become difficult.

But I don’t measure what we have by the easiest weeks.

I measure it by what happens when things get complicated.

So let’s get through this together.

I’m not going anywhere.

I’m not here only for the good days, the easy conversations, or the moments when everything feels certain. I’m here when things are messy too. I’m here when you’re overwhelmed. I’m here when you need space to breathe. I’m here when neither of us has the perfect words.

That doesn’t mean I expect perfection. It means I expect us to keep choosing each other while we work through what’s in front of us.

There’s a difference between someone saying they care and someone staying steady when life gives them a reason to walk away.

I want you to know where I stand.

I’m still here.

No pressure. No performance. No keeping score.

Just us getting through one difficult week without letting one difficult week define everything between us.

We’ll handle what needs handling, give each other room where it’s needed, and keep moving forward.

I love you, fr.

And I’m not going anywhere.

-Me

And lost.

Ive never been enough for anyone.

Im exhausted down to my bones.

I want to run away.

I get about 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night and thats been going on for years.

I want to be listened to.

I want to be talked to.

I want help.

Whatever this is, I dont want to plsy this character in this movie anymore.

I dont like the script, I dont like the plot, and I just want to be myself and it be ok for once.

Wanted for once.

Someone's whole world for once.

Im tired.

Im sad.

I lost every Shred of respect that I had for you in fact you make me sick how did I ever think that you walked on water ? If you could do that to me and sleep like a baby then guess what just leave me all the way alone. I don't need another pick me build a bitch man with mommy issues no humility No Boundaries and no self-respect clawing me and dragging me backwards .​ rotating through the same old chicks that everyone's rotated through a time or two even that friend said I got me a new chick because even he knew all the ones that you have tagged have already been ran through so many times there's nothing special about them . Keep those raggedy ass hoes​​​​

You say you're lost in the fog, engine ticking,

Static on the radio, compass spinning.

You're playing games with the coordinates I charted,

Rewriting the flight plan since the day we started.

Playing the victim, pretending you missed

The frost on the windshield, the ice in your fist.

​I see you standing by the hangar, watching the tarmac,

Asking for the old co-pilot, but there's no turning back.

You want the man who took off, not the ghost that survived,

The one you tried to ground so you could stay alive.

The instrument panel's glowing red with deceit,

Trying to make me doubt the altimeter underneath.

​You're praying for my demons, calling out for clear skies,

While your fingers grip the yoke, locking in the disguise.

Is it a beacon or a trap to pull me down?

Am I heading for the runway or into the ground?

I'm flying through the whiteout, keeping steady on the track,

While you act like a stranger, hiding what you packed.

​I don't need your clearance, I don't need your late regrets,

I'm cutting the engine on the habits and the debts.

You said the controls are in my hands, let's make it plain—

I'm vectoring away, flying out of your rain.

No amount of static or a fabricated prayer

Is gonna rewrite the storm or put you back in the air.