My wife and I are separating, and I’m moving out of the house we own together.

I moved around a lot as a kid, so this was the first house that really felt like home to me. I started looking for apartments in April, but while we were still paying about $2,000/month for our son’s daycare, moving out wasn’t financially realistic.

So for months I’ve basically been living in my basement office, sleeping on an air mattress or couch, waiting until daycare ended.

Meanwhile, my 13-year-old stepdaughter decided she wanted to move into my basement office after I left. Back in May, she started packing up her room, and my wife began telling her she could move downstairs “at the end of the summer.”

Our last daycare payment was August 1. My wife and I had agreed I needed to sign a lease by September 15, but I signed one in mid August with a September 1st move-in date that I ended up moving up a week because living at the house was becoming too hostile and emotionally distressing for me.

My wife then said she really wanted her daughter moved into the basement before school started September 2. I told her I would try, but that fully moving out that quickly would be difficult.

It’s now September 1. I’m already living in the apartment, but I still have some things in the basement. I took time off work and have spent the last five days furnishing an apartment and setting up my son’s room so he can stay with me.

Last night, my wife sent me a voice message saying she was frustrated and resentful because her daughter hadn’t been able to move downstairs before school started.

I told her this was not my problem to solve.

Nobody told her daughter she had to start packing in May. My wife could have told her to wait until I had actually moved. She is also moving from one bedroom in the house to another, so there was no real reason it had to happen before the first day of school.

I also asked my wife to recognize that, out of everyone involved, I’m the one whose life is being uprooted. Everyone else gets to stay where they already live. I’m leaving the first house that ever really felt like home, finding and furnishing a new apartment, rebuilding a household, and making sure our son has a home with me too.

I said I would try to meet her preferred timeline, but I never promised it.

AITA for not moving out by her preferred date and telling her this isn't my problem?

Edit: really kind of touched honestly by everyone's concern for other parts of the situation. I can say with confidence that my attorney is very good and has not indicated any issues with my ownership in the house. In our state the house is considered a marital asset similar to a retirement account and should be split up as such.

Edit 2: when we bought the house we were making the same amount of money. Only in the last 2 to 3 years has her salary outpaced my. Half of the down payment came out of my pre-marriage retirement fund, a quarter of it we saved together, and the last quarter her dad gave us. Also, if everyone really wants to know, her biggest complaint with me is that I deal with sometimes very severe depression and it became most difficult during covid and after. She feels I didn't do more to try to help myself and she got tired of dealing with it. I'll even be honest and say that I probably could have done more or I could have been more clear about what I needed from her or things like that.

Edit 3: I tried with my stepdaughter. I really did. You all can think what you want. Also for everyone dragging me for my post history, you realize not everything someone posts on Reddit is their entire life right? Maybe they just post when they're frustrated.

TL;DR: My absent dad gave me a bracelet that broke. I cried and my family accused me of insulting my mom. After my mom lied about me throwing a tantrum, my brother cursed me out, hurled slurs, and uninvited me from his wedding. I work hospital night shifts, pay house bills, have exams, and need to fix my broken phone, so I kept the $800 saved for his gift. Now my family says I'm a selfish brat who owes an apology.

My (23F) parents divorced after a 40 year marriage. Before my father left, he gave me a bracelet to apologize for being a bad father. I wore it daily until recently when it broke. I was sad but not crying and my mom noticed. She kept asking what was wrong and I asked her to drop it. She pushed until I broke down crying because it made me realize how alone I am without parental support. My dad provided me with more support than my siblings, which was unfair. In solidarity I cut him off myself—having favorites, even if it is me, was wrong. My mom called me stupid for crying and walked off.

My mother, brother (33M), and sister (29F) misconstrued my grief. They accused me of "crying over some dude who abandoned us all" and said my tears were an insult to everything my mom did as a single parent. My sister said my mom was married 40 years and has a right to cry, but I don’t.

Things escalated over the weekend. My mom invited me on a trip. I took an unpaid day off work, losing money I need, to go with her. When the day came, she told me not to come, left while I slept off a night shift, and told everyone I "refused to go." She also lied that I slammed the door in rage the night before, when it was just the wind.

My brother exploded at me over text. He called me a snowflake and the r-word, told me to have self respect, and said he "can't stand weak bitches." He accused me of making excuses to avoid the trip and told me to "get the fuck outta here" and “go find your dad.” I got angry and said, “I have never seen such stupidity in my life,” to which he uninvited me from his wedding, saying “leave our family in peace.”

Where the gift comes in: My brother is planning a wedding he cannot afford and is in tens of thousands of dollars in debt. I saved $800 to gift him. However, I work hospital night shifts to pay house bills, fund my exams, and fix my broken phone. Before he exploded, I told my mum I could give $700 instead of $800 so I could afford phone repairs and exam materials. She called me selfish.

After he swore at me, hurled slurs, and uninvited me, he told me in rage not to give him anything. I decided not to give him a single penny and keep the $800 for my own essential expenses and to fix my bracelet.

I’ve locked myself in my room and refused to apologize. My family tells me I am an ungrateful brat that owes my mom an apology for "taking my dad's side.”

Why I might be the asshole: I reacted back when my brother attacked me, I am keeping money he needs when he counted on me, and I haven’t apologized to my mother.

My wife and I are mid/late 30s and bought a cottage a couple years ago. Some Americans refer to this as a lake house or cabin.

We go most weekends in the summer and usually take an additional 1-2 weeks vacation there throughout the summer as well. And still go through the fall-winter-spring. So it's frequent.

I go into work afterwards. How was your weekend? Good. What did you do? We were up at the cottage. Then I'll get an eye roll or similar expression from one lady in my department. Yesterday a one of the guys said sarcastically "oh a cottage, must be such a burden maintaining TWO properties". The person who asked the quest looked at him like: wtf?

So I guess I just won't ever mention what I do on weekends. What did you do? Not much just hung out.

I understand the optics given housing and general life affordable, but for Christ sake we all make about the same amount of money and we all know it.

Edit: wow this got more feedback than I expected! Thank you!

So me and my husband have been together for 10 years, married for 4. We have an amazing relationship but it took awhile because his previous relationship had ended badly. Well apparently his mother has different opinions on that relationship because the ex is in town and invited over for a dinner party. Our attendance is expected but I’ve told them I refuse to go. His family is pressuring us to go and telling me that i’m making him choose between me or them. He wants to get his mom off his back, and so I told him I won’t stop him if he wants to go but I will judge him. He hasn’t decided and his family is mad at me. So AITA for standing my ground?

Basically as the title says. I (28F) have been invited to attend a wedding for an old high school friend. She was a great friend and someone who has meant a lot to me, she even attended my wedding a few years ago. We haven’t be super close as adults but are still very friendly with each other. She even invited me to her bridal shower, which I did attend. Now, the kicker is that she’s having a wedding on Halloween. It’s perfect for her, but I’ve been anxiously waiting for trick or treat schedules to drop as Halloween is on a Saturday this year. Today I saw that trick or treat will be taking place at the same time. I have a five year old daughter who looks forward to this every year and we typically do a whole big family costume. I don’t want to skip it with her or have her go without me. But I’d also hate to let my friend down. It’s a no-kids wedding as well, so bringing her along for something fun there is out of the question. I already feel like my decision is made. Daughter comes first always. So, WIBTAH if I RSVP no so that I don’t miss trick or treat?

Editing to Add: WOW, I did not expect this to blow up like this. I see a few questions I thought I could address:

1. A Trick or Treat Schedule: Most towns/neighborhoods where I live post a two-hour time block for trick or treating. Normally, this falls on the Saturday before Halloween. Since Halloween is on a Saturday this year, they have opted to do it on the actual day. I am currently looking at the city where my dad lives to see if they’re following the same schedule or if we can do that one instead.

2. The wedding is almost an hour and a half away from our home city and is a black tie wedding. It starts at 3:00, and trick or treat starts at 5:00.

3. The closeness of me and the bride: Again, she was a great friend in high school (about a decade ago). I got married in 2019, and she attended my wedding. That was the last I had seen her in person up until her bridal shower. She is someone I care about deeply, but to say I was surprised to have been invited to the wedding (particularly the bridal shower) is an understatement considering we hadn’t spoke more than five times over the last few years. I have never met her fiancé. That said, she is still someone I care about and I’d hate to let her down.

4. Halloween is a big deal in our family. My daughter spends months figuring out what she wants to be and how to coordinate me and her dad to match with her. And she does not stop talking about it until the day comes. So, I’m absolutely not going to let her down. She’s my daughter and only child. Plus, who knows when she’s going to want to stop trick or treating with mom and dad?

All in all, I’m still trying to figure out how to make both work and I appreciate all the advice. Thank you! 😅

I (44F) have 3 nieces who are all in the pre-teen to teenage range. About 2 years ago, I received a party invitation from my sister (42F). Her daughter, my oldest niece, started her first period and my sister decided to start a new tradition and throw a "Red Party" for her. The party would have red ballons, red velvet cupcakes, and other period themed decorations. There was also an expectation to bring gifts. To be clear, my niece (12F) was okay with a party but, this was definitely sister's idea. My sister absolutely loves any occasion to that can be turned into a social gathering.

To be honest, my first thought was that this was a really strange thing to throw a party over. When I told my husband and my friends (all in their 40's) they also thought it was bizarre. I am definitely not one to body shame and am not embarrassed by periods, or anything like that. I have 2 sons (7 and 17) and they have been taught about menstruation and know that it's a normal process. They know to never make someone feel uncomfortable for dealing with something that they have no control over. So this isn't about being embarrassed or keeping periods "hidden". But, a party? With gifts?? I just keep picturing the scene in Game of Thrones, where Cersei Lannester asks Sansa if she's "bled yet".

I went. It was as awkward as I had expected but, I went.

Fast forward to last week. I just received an invitation for niece #2. She has already sent out gift requests for particular brands of chocolates.

I am really not wanting to go to this one and I told my mother (70F) that I'll probably say that I "have other plans" and just send a gift.

Well, my mom threw me under the bus and told my sister that I didn't want to go. Now I'm getting messages from my sister asking why I'm not wanting to be supportive. I told my sister that I just felt it was a strange thing to have a whole party for. If I did the same thing for my sons when they became.....capable of reproduction, it would be seen as really weird.

Now I'm being seen as the bad guy for not supporting my other neices and "celebrating womanhood".

Am I being unsupportive, or am I okay in declining the invitation and just sending a gift?

​

I am a 20-year-old female. I live with my mom 50-year-old female and my dad approximately 56 male, my brother and my grandmother. My brother is 30 male and my grandmother is 78 female. We are a low-income household of 5, With only 2 incomes in our house.

We receive food from our local food pantry weekly, My father picks it up every week, However in the food pantries, paperwork, We are technically counted as 4 separate family units. Even though we all live in the same household, there is a difference. I am a one person family. My brother is a one person family and my grandmother is a one person family unit. My mother and father are considered a 2 person family unit. So technically, each week, we pick up for 4 families.

However, I do not have a job. One of the reasons that I don't have a job is that I spend most of my time during the day caring for my family, my mom with severe chronic health problems which I won't go into detail for her privacy, As well as my grandmother with cognitive impairments, I do this while my father and my brother are at work. I prepare meals. I prepare snacks, and I make sure they all have everything. They need throughout the day.

I have recently been told by my mother and my brother that because I don't have a job and don't financially contribute towards the food, I have no right to claim or put my name on certain food that I want within the household.

This is really upsetting to me, I understand that I don't financially contribute, but I am listed as part of the household receiving food from said pantry.

For background, the only time I have ever claimed a food item was a singular pack of mozzarella cheese. I would never nor have I ever done that with the intention of taking food from someone else. I simply wanted to make sure that the food did not go too bad in the refrigerator. There was only one pack of cheese, It was smoked mozzarella cheese. I said that I liked it, No one else in my house likes smoke flavor except for me, I put my name on it, and I said, I wanted it to eat with crackers. It was from the pantry so I ate the it.

I was told by my mother that I had no right in the house to claim food. As I brought no money into the household to buy food

In our house claiming food means that we say that we want said, and nobody else gets it or we put our name on it

I just don't think that having no paycheck means I have no right to eat or have a preference over the food that I choose, from the food pantry

I have told my family how I feel. That I have a right to eat food from the pantry and claim the food that I wanted. Because my name is included on the paperwork.

So really my question is AITA For claiming Food, even though I don't put any money into the house?

I also wanted to say that I may not be able to contribute to my family financially, but over the past couple of weeks, I have emailed over brands and companies to ask for coupons for us to get discounted food and household items.

EDIT: I didn’t expect this to get so much attention. I’ve never posted on reddit, and I am seriously shocked that this has ruffled so many feathers. I was expecting like maybe 20 views and 5 comments, not over 500k views in less than 24hrs.

I will talk with my partner and may or may not be back with an update/more context.

All of these notifications are overwhelming tbh. But thank you to everyone who has given actual advice. I also appreciate everyone who is asking for more information instead of jumping to conclusions about any of the people involved.

There’s a lot to be said. How we got to this point is a very long story that couldn’t fit in a post that has a limit of 3,000 characters.

So, thank you all for providing an outside perspective. We both appreciate it. We are both working today and have lives to live, so we’re gonna try to focus on the present instead of making ourselves more anxious. I’m going to mute the notifications for a while and come back later. Thanks everyone!

Basically, the title explains it all.

I(23F) am posting to get some perspective on this situation for my partner(27M).

My partner’s brother(25M) started talking to a woman(32F) less than a month ago. Now, he has decided to invite her on the yearly family vacation. Their parents plan this trip every year.

To make things easier, we’ll call my partner’s brother “Steve” and this random woman “Katie”.

Last Friday, Katie met my partner for the first time after Steve invited her and her daughter(7F?) over to the house. She also brought her dog to introduce to Steve’s dog, which he had for the weekend.

They all ended up spending the night that Friday. After just being introduced to my partner. And have spent 8 out of the last 10 days at my partner’s house. Steve never asked if it was okay with my partner.

My partner’s parents just met Katie and her daughter maybe 3 days ago at a restaurant to celebrate his father landing a new job that pays extremely well. Unexpectedly, might I add. Steve got a call from their mother inviting him to dinner, and he extended the offer to Katie while he was still on the phone. Without discussing it with anyone else first.

He decided to invite her on vacation before even taking her to this dinner.

Now, the whole family is stressed out. My partner’s mother was on the verge of a nervous breakdown when we visited his parents the night after their dinner. She said she didn’t feel comfortable with a stranger coming on the trip. She was holding herself back from crying. But, she kept refusing to say anything to Steve for fear of “losing her son”. She didn’t want him to threaten staying home if she didn’t agree to letting this woman and her daughter come with us.

My partner’s older sister, her husband, and her 1yr old son will also be on this trip. His parents rented two condos to share between the 8 of us. My partner never gets to see his sister or his nephew because they live almost 12 hours away.

We have all been looking forward to this trip and spending time together for a while now. Now, Steve has put us all in a very uncomfortable position. One that he never should have, in my opinion. My partner is very upset with his brother for being so inconsiderate but his family refuses to do anything about it.

My partner is now being villainized by his whole family for simply telling them how uncomfortable we are and attempting to set a boundary.

We plan on telling his parents tomorrow that we will no longer be going on vacation. Not if this stranger is coming along. I do not feel comfortable with sharing a space with someone I do not know. My partner is just fed up with his family “protecting” Steve by letting him do whatever he wants at the expense of everyone else. Evidently, Steve’s wants outweigh my partner’s needs and everyone’s safety.

This November, my partner and I will be celebrating our 2yr anniversary. This was my first time being invited on their family trip. It was going to be a huge step for us.

I recently went on a trip with my boyfriend. It was our anniversary and first time flying/traveling together. I have anxiety and told my boyfriend beforehand planes are something that just make me nervous.

We ended up getting the emergency isle(I was by the door, boyfriend in the middle seat, flight attendant on the other end). After we sat down I put my head between my legs. I stayed there for a good while but once I felt the plane moving I felt queazy. So I sat up, told my boyfriend and the flight attendant quickly handed me a bag.

I did have a quick little gag but after I was feeling better. I then put my head back in-between my legs. Another flight attendant sat across from me so I picked my head back up to give her room. She then started asking me if I was ok, I followed up telling her I was and that I just get nervous on planes. In a tone I did not appreciate ask me if I wanted her to explain how planes work, I told her no and put my head back down. She quickly got up and went to the back. Shortly after another male flight attendant came over and started talking to me, asking me if I had taken anything and if I was ok.

I picked my head back up and told him how I was fine and how I'm just nervous on planes but once we get in the air and it's smooth I'll be good and how I did take my anxiety medicine. I tried to put my head back down but he continued to talk to me, he asked what time I took it (4 hours earlier because I didn't think I could take my prescription on the flight) and that I needed to talk to my psychiatrist to figure out my medication better and that I needed to manage my anxiety better.

The way he said it all just made me feel like I was crazy and so I started getting a little more anxious. I started shaking my leg and looking up at the ceiling. He then in a tone I did not appreciate asked if looking at the ceiling was making me feel good. At this point I did not feel comfortable talking with him so I gave him a one word answer of yes. He then got up and walked away, I put my head back down.

He came back soon after stating he talked to the pilot and that they didn't feel comfortable with me on the plane. An announcement went off stating we'd have to turn around because of a sick person, people immediately started staring daggers at me and I just felt like crap. I was shaking more asking him to reconsider holding back tears.

We made a walk of shame off the plane and I was forced into a wheelchair and talked to ems who also tried getting me back on the plane. I had calmed down to rebook the flight but because of the turn around the whole flight got cancelled and the entire plane started deboarding giving me dirty looks again.

I told my boyfriend I wanted to make a formal complaint and he flipped out on me telling me I was being an asshole needed to take accountability and drop it. So was ATIA?

Hey everybody, this is my first time posting and English isn't my first language, so sorry for any mistakes :)

 For some background, I (F23) live with my parents in a small town in Europe. Our only family here is my uncle (M56), my mom's brother, and his family. Our parents don't have the best relationship because of years of unresolved conflicts, but my cousins and I have always been kept out of it. Despite the drama, both families have always helped us when needed. For example, when my cousin (F23) wanted to hike near our town, my mom let her stay with us and did everything she could to help her prepare.

I volunteered at an event near my uncle's city and needed to be there for 7 days spread over 3 weeks. Since the bus takes 6 hours and costs around $60 each way, I asked my uncle if I could stay at their house for those 3 weeks. He said ofc and even offered to drive me there a few days earlier since he was in my town for work. On the way, he called my aunt through the car and said, "We're on our way, we'll be there in 4 hours." She immediately asked, "Who's we?" When he said I was with him, she sighed and went, "Oh, okay then... I guess I have to think of what we're having for lunch." She knew she was on speaker and that I could hear her, so I already felt like an inconvenience.

When we arrived, she greeted me with, "So I guess you're staying here for 3 weeks, huh?" I said yes and that I'd asked my uncle beforehand. She replied, "Is it only HIS house? You should have asked me too. Why didn't you?"

I was honestly shocked. He's my uncle and I'm closer to him, so I assumed that if he said I could stay in their home, that meant they had agreed on it. When I tried to explain, she interrupted me with, "Yeah, yeah, that's so your family," in a VERY judgmental tone. At that point, it was obvious I wasn't welcome. They left to get groceries, and I called my parents. My mom was appalled and told me to leave, saying they would book me a hotel. Unfortunately, there was a huge event in the city that weekend, so every hotel was booked and there were no more buses home. I had no choice but to spend the night. When my uncle and aunt came back, she suddenly hugged me and said, "Ohhh, my dear niece, I was just a bit annoyed with your uncle, and you know how I am! I'm sorry, let's move on." My mom then asked me to call her on speaker so my parents could talk to all of us directly. While my mom was talking, my aunt was laughing, and my uncle looked at me like my mom was being unreasonable. So no, my aunt clearly wasn't sorry and didn't seem to think she'd done anything wrong.

I spent the night, was polite and pretended nothing was wrong, and the next day, bought my ticket home, told them I was leaving and that was it...

So Reddit, AITA for leaving when my aunt complained about me being at her house?

My son lives an hour away and has my grandson in a school district that is one hour away. He expects me to pick up my grandson and drive him all the way home which is an hour away. That’s two hours out of my day and gas that I don’t have. He says I’m a bad grandparent and that I don’t help so AITA?

I’m 19F, living in LA and going to community college. My boyfriend is 22M and we’ve been together for about a year.
His mom had surgery recently and he asked me if I could spend the entire weekend at their house to help take care of her while he worked.
I said I could come over Saturday afternoon and stay for a few hours, but I already had plans Sunday.
He got annoyed and said I should be there for his family because “that’s what serious girlfriends do.”
I reminded him that I’m not his mom’s caretaker, and that I was willing to help for a few hours but I wasn’t going to cancel my entire weekend.
His mom apparently overheard us arguing.
Later that evening she texted me saying she was disappointed in me and that she thought I was “more family-oriented.”
I honestly didn’t know what to say to that.
I told my boyfriend that I felt like everyone was expecting me to take responsibility for something that wasn’t actually my responsibility.
He said I was being selfish and that this was one of those moments where he needed to know whether he could actually depend on me.
Now I’m wondering if I handled this badly.
I don’t think refusing to cancel my plans makes me a bad girlfriend, but maybe I should have been more willing to help given the circumstances.

Hi all, long time lurker first time poster on this forum.

I knitted my brother's girlfriend a blanket for her birthday after she admired one I had made for myself. I'm not a great knitter and it took me quite a long time to make, and I bought the wool myself in colours I thought she would like. The wool was real wool and quite expensive, more than €100.

When I gave it to her she said thank you and seemed happy with it.

Anyway, over the weekend I was in a charity shop and saw the blanket there. I texted her and asked her about it and she admitted she had donated it. She said she wasn't really using it, that she "found it a bit itchy" and donated it because she thought someone else might like it more.

I know technically it's her gift and she can do whatever she wants with it, but it took a lot of time to make and the wool was really quite expensive, and I am still really upset about it. It was part merino wool as well so I don't know why she's saying it was itchy! I also feel a bit stupid because I spent hours making this yoke for her and I thought she genuinely liked it, but it turns out she didn't even want it.

Maybe I am stupid because I kind of thought they'd someday use it in their future kids' room or something and tell them how Auntie RaRa made that blanket when we were still going out.

My brother says I'm overreacting and says he doesn't understand why I'm taking it personally. He says she liked that I made it for her but she just didn't use the blanket enough to keep it. I don't think he understands the effort that went into it though. It's not like I bought some rubbish on Temu for her.

Also, if someone spends that much time and money making something especially for you, surely it means something that you couldn't be bothered to keep it?

Obviously this is awkward because she's my brother's girlfriend and I don't want to cause problems for him or our parents, but I feel like if she was a caring person she would have cared more about something made for her.

Anyway, AITA here, or is she for disrespecting my time and money?

My brother in law comes over to our house and consistently doesn’t wash his hands after using the bathroom. I brought up to my husband about how uncomfortable this makes me and he told me to deal with it if I don’t like it. He acts pissed off anytime I bring it up to him as if I’m the one doing the act so it’s a touchy subject. I’ve confronted my brother in law once about a different thing in the past and he responded with anger towards me so the thought of bringing something else up to him makes me nervous.

Hi, this is a throw away account, and I just really need some outer opinions.

I, 16F, wanted to have fun with my little brother 8M. And we ended up doing makeup, I wanted to do his makeup then take some silly pictures to our older sister. I did plan to take it all off after and even do some face masks and have a fun day today as it was the last day of summer vacation for him. My stepbrother 10M, got his toenails painted by my stepsister 14F, his sister, he didn't like them and whined to my stepmom, which I guess is fine, me and my stepsister did tease him into getting it. But my stepmother comes in to scold my stepsister and sees me doing my brother's makeup, she flips out saying to wash it off, and that he needs to go to the store, and that's where I thought it would end... it didn't. I get my meds because it was time for them and she says "Next time you have to talk to me and your dad if you want to do his makeup". Fair, but I still ask why, and she goes silent, and just says "you just do". Ok, weird, I walk out and sit on my bed while my little brother is getting his shoes on and I'm talking to my stepsister. My stepmom walks in on call with my dad who is at work. They continue to say that they don't think that boys should have makeup, which is very wrong, makeup isn't just for one gender. They also said that they think that way because they are Christians, which is weird because they allow me and my sisters to do makeup and the Bible technically doesn't want anyone to "Beautify" themselves. Mind you my little brother was super willing to do it, and super happy to do so and excited to show off to our older sister.

Am I the Asshole???

I host a 4 bedroom apartment on Airbnb, we have space for up to 9 people + a huge living room, 2 bathrooms, huge kitchen, several balconies. A guest booked for 5 people. Right from the start, hosting her has been a very high-maintenance experience. If people are able to use airbnb I'd expect them to use basic Google stuff, but okay, I did my best to give her information.

Weeks before her stay, she kept messaging me asking for local cab recommendations, store info, bus fares, payment methods, etc. I answered every single question politely and detailed, no problem. I want them to have a good time.
I send every guest a personal link via our hosting software containing all check-in instructions (with pictures and everything), parking info, house rules etc. She clearly didn't read it because she called me on arrival demanding I walk her through the entire check-in process over the phone.
Upon entering, she was surprised the apartment "only" had 4 rooms, even though the listing details and photos state this clearly.

On her first evening, she messaged and called me simultaneously at 8:05PM asking where to buy food. I had already given her store recommendations weeks prior (including opening hours, the stores nearby close at 8PM btw, they arrived at7PM, it's a 5min walk there, they had plenty of time), but I still sent her links to late-night grocery options, taxi services, and food delivery apps (stores here close early).
She asked me to go grocery shopping for them. Told her no, I'm over 1.5h by car away from them.

At 9:45 PM, she messaged saying the flat was hot and asked where the AC was. I explained we don't have AC (it is not listed in our amenities so there wasn't any reason for her to believe we have AC) and suggested opening windows. It's 16°C outside, it will cool down quite well. She replied that they are traveling with vulnerable individuals with complex needs and cannot open windows at night for safety reasons. She then demanded I provide fans for them. AC is btw not standard in this country, less than 10% of the buildings have AC.

None of these requirements were communicated to me prior. Not a single word. Our listing transparently shows what amenities we do and don't have. We're renting out an apartment and don't offer hotel service.

I felt myself getting increasingly frustrated because I've spent so much time holding her hand through things that are either in the guest link or clearly stated on the listing. I created the listing and the guest link to make it easier for everyone.

I replied that we don't have fans available, reminded her that amenities are clearly listed, and noted that special requirements should be communicated in advance. I suggested airing out the flat completely before they go to bed.

AITA for setting a boundary here and refusing to go out of my way to buy fans? I want my guests to have a good time but at the same time I am not a hotel and our rates are not calculated for a lot of extra service.

I (22F) live with my mom (63F), who refuses to close the door when she goes to sleep because she likes the “air flow.” I just moved home from college for the year before moving for grad school, though we’ve fought about this many times when I was home for break and such.

The way our house is set up, I have to pass by her room to reach the kitchen, living room, dining rooms, and basement. Basically, without passing by the open door, the only thing I can access is the guest room.

I HATE when she leaves the door open because I feel like I can’t do anything but stay in my room after she goes to bed or I’ll wake her up. If I want a late night snack I feel like I have to tip toe ever so carefully by her room and try not to make any noise with the bags. I don’t refill my water with ice at night because the ice hitting my water bottle is pretty loud.

She’s never actually woken up in the moment (because I’m so careful) but later in the morning she’ll tell me she heard me in the kitchen getting a snack. She claims the door shouldn’t matter to me because it doesn’t affect me, as she doesn’t ASK me to be quiet or not make noise. From her point of view, I can do as I please, regardless of if the door is open because the noise “doesn’t bother her.”

The other night I decided to watch TV in the living room after she want to bed at a normal volume (lower than she watches it) and low and behold 20 minutes later I hear her door slam shut, and the next morning she tells me I was watching loud on purpose.

To me, I’m like yeah…it’s easy for you to say I can do what I want and it won’t wake you up WHEN IM MAKING A CONSCIOUS EFFORT TO BE QUIET. But, as we saw, when I do try to just live as normal, it IS disruptive and the only reason it hasn’t been is because I’ve been tip toeing around.

So, AITA for asking my mom to close the door when she sleeps so I don’t feel trapped in my room? Is this just the unfortunate price of living with your parents postgrad?

I have two people in my family that score all day everyday. Brother smokes weed 7-8 times a day on top of a dab pen, and aunt smokes regular cigarettes but goes through a pack in a day. Neither of them made it through a two hour visit without going out to smoke 2-3 times.

We just moved into a new home and finished our renovations, now our baby's first birthday is coming up and we're having the party at home. I don't really like smoking around her anyways but the last time my brother was here the couch smelled like weed for weeks. So I haven't really allowed him to stay for a visit longer than he can go without smoking but he still ends up smoking before leaving on one of the porches. We have outdoor furniture on both front/back porches, and I don't really want those to reek of smoke either. And the party is going to be more then a few hours, do the only solution I came up with was letting them smoke in the driveway or at their car and once they do they can't hold the baby. I have chairs they can bring out of they want to sit.

Is this reasonable or WIBTA? I know the smell is also in their clothes/pores but I don't know how tell them in the right way. I'm sure they also don't care that they reek of it either since its their norm.

A friend of mine asked me less than 2 weeks ago if I could dog sit for her while she’s out of town for two weeks. In her original message, she said I would be able to come by and feed/walk the dog 2-3 times a day, so I agreed. She did not mention any form of payment, just that she would stock the fridge for me. She also stated I would have the apartment to myself, but just told me a few days ago she has a roommate moving in by the end of the week.

Two days ago, she asked me if I would stay the night at her apartment every night for two weeks. I told her this morning, now 5 days out from her trip that I was not prepared for the commitment and don’t think I would be super comfortable helping anymore, but I know of some professional pet sitters that I could send her way. She was upset and told me I was putting her in a bad position because she doesn’t trust strangers to watch her dog, so she’ll have to rent a car and drive across the country to her parents house to drop off the dog before the trip.

I completely understand I made a commitment to watch her dog, so I do take responsibility for that and feel badly for inconveniencing her and not honoring my commitment. At the same time, this was a last minute ask of hers with the expectation that I would be working for free for 2 weeks and I have tried to offer other solutions that wouldn’t require a cross-country drive, including asking her roommate to watch the dog to no avail, but I’m feeling quite guilty and obviously don’t want to ruin the friendship. One final piece of context is that I constantly do favors for this friend for free, but this aspect of our friendship isn’t reciprocated.

Hi all, I’ve never written in before so I apologize if anything is confusing. My (21 F) best friend (25 F) just got engaged last week. She’s been with the guy (29 M) less than a year and says she’s found her “soulmate”. I’ve met the fiancee and he’s fine, average, nothing too special. And they’ve started planning their wedding for THIS November. Crazy I know. Unfortunately she’s just given me the wedding date and it’s on the day my boyfriend (22 M) have a concert. We talked about it last week and she said the wedding will be at 1:30 and I thought it would be fine to leave the reception early( the concert starts at 7). We talked it over on the phone and she seemed fine. She even moved the wedding time back an hour (it was supposed to be at 2:30) for the concert. I even told her after the concert we could come back and party if they’re still there. My boyfriend and I fought for our LIVES in the queue to get these tickets. It’s an artist we both love and have been wanting to see for a while now. She just texted me and said I am no longer the maid of honor at her wedding because I’m doing this. She said she doesn’t understand why I must go to the concert and just miss out on her wedding day. I’m sorry but I don’t understand why she MUST get married 3 months from now … and to think we don’t already have plans. A lot of my other friends planning a wedding wait 1-1.5 years to plan their wedding. So why the rush? I can’t understand what to do or how to feel. I’m hoping I can get some help on here.

edit: some other notes. I was never told I would be the maid of honor (though I should’ve assumed) UNTIL she told me I was no longer. She also never sent out wedding invites (she hasn’t made them yet, she just got engaged 3 days ago). We’ve had the concert tickets for a month.

For added context, my gf is planning to move out with her family to another apartment, closer to the city but they had some issues with a complex they really liked. She applied with her mom as a co signer

The application got denied, due to bad credit but the income combined between them is almost $180k and the monthly rent for this unit is $2,100. She only mentioned it to me once bc I do relatively well for myself but I told her that question made me a bit uncomfortable and she said it was ok and told me to forget I asked.

Not sure if I’m being selfish but it’s a huge risk for me

AITA? I had a doctor appointment with an MD I’ve seen before for years. Let’s call her Dr. X. But when someone came in the room she identified herself as Dr. Y. Now mind you I had seen the expected Dr X in the hall. I asked Dr Y if she was an intern and she would only state no another doctor. I had to keep pressing to figure out why she wasn’t the doctor I scheduled this appointment with. Finally she identified herself as a resident. Yes that is a doctor, fact, but not the one I expected or made the appointment with one year in advance. AITA for wanting context?

Edited for typo! There is no Dr. C. Typo!

My mom says I am being an asshole for buying my siblings dna kits this summer. Backstory: last year I did a dna kit and found out that the dad I had known for 38 years wasn’t my bio dad. Even though my mom admits to sleeping with my bio dad she swore he wasn’t my dad. I match to 3 of his other kids. I got my sibs dna test so they could be sure about their dads. Mom says I’m calling her a wh*re. I just think we should all know where we came from. AITA?

Hello everyone. First-time poster here, and I really need some advice because I honestly don’t know where to turn.
My wife (30F) and I (30M) got married around March of this year. Most of the drama actually started a few months before the wedding. My mom told my wife that she needed to add my aunt to the hair and makeup appointments on the morning of the wedding. We had already paid for the hair and makeup package and had everything planned out, so we said no. Instead of accepting that, my mom told us that she would just go somewhere else on the morning of the wedding and get her hair and makeup done with my aunt.
this really upset me. It felt like she was choosing to spend the morning of my wedding with her sister instead of being there to support me and my soon-to-be wife. But I decided to let it go because I didn’t want unnecessary drama leading up to the wedding.
On the day of the wedding, we had arranged for a babysitter to watch our 2-year-old daughter. The plan was for our daughter to be watched during the wedding and then leave after eating at the reception. Everyone in the family knew this plan ahead of time. However, my mom repeatedly brought our daughter onto the dance floor and ignored what my wife and I had asked for. At the time, we brushed it off because it was our wedding day and we didn’t want to create a scene. But this wasn’t exactly a new issue. The day after the wedding, my mom pulled me aside and told me she was hurt that she didn’t receive a boutonniere/flowers on her dress like some of the other people in the wedding party. I apologized. I honestly didn’t realize she expected one, and I wanted to move past it. A week later, my wife and I were getting ready to move our family across the country for my job. We had roughly two weeks to pack, organize everything, and get ready for the move. We also found out from a family friend who shares the same babysitter that my mom at one point yelled at the babysitter the night of the wedding. Which we had to apologize to the babysitter profusely about. I know we probably didn’t make things easy on ourselves by scheduling our wedding so close to a major move, but at that point we were overwhelmed and had a million things to do. During this time, my mom tried calling a couple times and also tried to FaceTime our daughter. I told her that we were extremely busy getting everything ready and that I didn’t really have time to talk. Instead of understanding, she eventually texted me saying that I needed to apologize to her again. She then told me that I lacked integrity as a son and as a father, and that I was using my daughter as a weapon against her. Now I’m really struggling. I don’t feel like I’m using my daughter as a weapon. We were in the middle of moving across the country and were incredibly busy. I wasn’t intentionally keeping my daughter away from my mom to punish her. At the same time, I’m starting to wonder if I’m handling this situation incorrectly.