My friend beaded me a little bipolar bear to give me a smile whenever I need a smile. It’s amazing when someone offers you support because we need it.

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Tldr: The title describes what the birds represent. I suffered from mixed episodes after losing my father suddenly, 3 years ago. There's a little over a year of intensive (psycho+art) therapy and balancing medications in between the two sculptures. I'm cautiously hopeful for the future.

Pictures: 1. then / 2. now / 3. then and now / 4-5. before firing / 6-7. different angles

My first manic episode at 21 led to my diagnosis. Over the past 10 years, traumatic experiences resurfaced my childhood trauma and led to major swings, followed by unexpectedly losing my dad just five weeks after his cancer diagnosis. I fully lost balance, causing mixed episodes and more trauma as a result of them. When even unhealthy coping mechanisms became unsuccessful, I fell into depression, agoraphobia, panic attacks and anxiety.

At my lowest, 1 year ago, I sculpted a bird in art therapy, to symbolize my feelings and wants. I felt unsafe, vulnerable, alone and closed-off (the egg). I felt I needed safety, protection, self-compassion and comfort (the bird embracing) and to allow myself all the time necessary for it. Through that first time working with clay, I found joy realizing I was good at it.

Recently, I sculpted another bird, representing how far I've come since my first and what I hope to find in my future: some wind beneath my wings, to enjoy rare moments I'm able to glide without constant effort, to look ahead from a safe distance and if I lose perspective, to stick around until I find it again. Lastly: to be brave enough to fly into new territory, to find my potential.

I took my new bird home last week, put it next to my first and got emotional. They really look like they're two parts of the same set. I'm now at a point where I'm okay with both of them existing. I feel like they can help eachother when it gets dark again. I'm proud of them and myself, so I wanted to share.

Quitting weed, tabacco, alcohol and doing sports is bullshit. All I do is sleep and think of ways to kill myself. This shit is bullshit. I am completely sober and taking my medication and I am still a zombie. Just so my therapist and family can shut the fuck up I will stay 1 year sober from everything, I will do sports and work and trust me I will still feel like shit like now if not worse. At least drugs and alcohol keep me from wanting to go to Switzerland and do euthanasia.

All I do is sleep and imagine scenarios where I can kill myself and just be done with feeling like a train ran over me. I sleep 12h a day and I still feel exhausted. At least a joint and a beer keep me awake but of course I have to prove that I am not an addict just so people can finally shut the fuck up and stop saying its bad for me because I have bipolar type I. A bullet to the head would fix everything. If it wasnt for my family I would have already gone to do euthanasia, fuck this shit and fuck the brain I was born with.

I am not manic and I am not depressed, I am on medication and I still desire death because I am exhausted all of the time, I can barely get out of bed to eat breakfast and all I do is sleep sometimes 14 hours a day. I am sober and doing everything right and I still can't get out of bed.

Like not paying bills, even if you have the money. I keep finding myself in this weird cycle of borderline ignoring financial obligations. Powers been turned off before, even though I could have paid the bill... Late mortgage, CC, etc... It's really bothering me, and I still feel the stress and pressure from the lack of action.

I just saw a TikTok about a girl denying being bipolar after being diagnosed by 2 different psychiatrists. I’m wondering if anyone else had a similar reaction because I accepted my diagnosis with open arms

İlaçlarınızı fazla aldığınız ve bu süreçte uyuşturucu kullanan bırakan kişiler var mı ben bıraktım neler hissediyorsunuz yaşayan var ise durumu karma bir psikolojideyim yardımcı olursanız hislerinizi düşüncelerinizi yazarsanız çok sevinirim 🫡🌹

Hi, I went through a manic episode a while ago during which I invited literally everyone I could think of to my birthday party, including people I'd just met that same week, which is also worrying but not the main problem.

The main problem is that I invited this one guy who annoys me so much with every fiber of his being. He's autistic and laughs and talks extremely loud which just pisses me off every time I'm around him. He also very obviously has a thing for me and always follows me around and tries to start conversations with me even when I'm very much not in the mood, he also used to write me terrible poems for every single holiday for some reason and could never understand that I was absolutely not into it. He's very sweet and kind-hearted, but I just definitely do not enjoy his company.

I can't believe I fucked up this bad by inviting him, I hate how I get myself into situations like these because of my illness and how little I am able to do about it. I was looking forward to this party too, it's my first time really having a big celebration. To make it even worse, he doesn't know anyone there so he'll just follow me around all the time and I won't be able to have a good time at all (my fault, not his).

I was considering maybe texting him that some plans have changed and I won't be able to invite him, but maybe suggesting meeting up just us two instead? Maybe that wouldn't be as much of a shitty move, especially since he wouldn't know anyone at the party and would probably have a better time just hanging out with me. (I'm sorry that makes me sound awful but it's just the truth).

Help 😭

Hi! I’ve been diagnosed as bipolar type 1 for about 8 years now. I have destroyed my life, lost everything multiple times including myself every time during mania. The last episode I had was five years ago, I thought I had a handle on it all and then huge changes happened and I was manic yet again.

This time, though, I did it different. I was honest, I sought accountability for wellness, and I fought like hell for stability. I told my Dr, had her doing daily check ins and got added onto a new medication to stop the mania.

Guys, for the first time in my life, I did not do a single thing I regretted during mania. I took off work on short term disability to not sabotage my career and I conquered it. I’m so beyond proud of myself, my dr’s say I’m finally stable, and I was able to overcome this in a way I never thought would be possible.

Rant I guess because I don't know under what to put that. And sorry, English isn't my first language.

I've been on meds for the past 3-4 years, refused to take treatment, diagnosed bipolar 1 for at least 10-12 yers. I did stupid shit, I get that. Many if not most people with bipolar did stupid stuff.

But my curiosity is more towards, Do your partners sometimes accuse the bipo instead of taking responsibility ?

I know it's a weird way to put it, but, imagine, you're anxious, angry or frustrated by something THEY did over and over. And instead of changing things or doing things differently, they just ask you if you took your meds for exemple. 🙃

I'm having a really bad summer, not because of symptoms, but I had a car crash and stuff, and I'm particularly stable (even I am surprised), and this answer is like throwing at my face "are you on your period ?" Mind you. It's making me irritable as hell. So it's becoming an unending circle and I feel a depressif episode creeping on me in the shadows of my brian.

Thank y'all and take care

When I’m hypomanic I talk my head off. I don’t prioritize work over socializing and I overshare.

I want to work on this and when I’m at baseline I’m a pretty good coworker, but it’s like my personal goals completely switch up. It’s not that I lack motivation, it’s that I have entirely different goals and I don’t want to work on them when I’m hypo.

I also become convinced that at least 60% of the people in my life are attracted to me, which has a 50% chance of me responding by flirting or getting very paranoid. I’m such a mess.

After a recent attempt my meds got all switched up so I’m even more in limbo right now and so stressed about how I acted before I got hospitalized.

I feel whiny and annoying when I try to explain that I wasn’t really myself, and I feel like I’m lying because it technically WAS me, WAS my brain, and that’s a side of me I’m responsible for. It also makes getting sober, something I want so badly, impossible or at least it feels that way. Idk what to do. I’m at a loss and so ashamed.

I’m about to be 22 and I act like a wired 13 year old that thinks she’s hot shit.

Hi. I'm an older lady with Bipolar 1. I'm pretty quiet most of the time.

So, my psychiatrist appointment was coming up and I hadn't gotten a reminder call. Worried it was in my phone incorrectly, I called. The number was disconnected. Huh, weird, I thought. I'd been going to this practice for years.

I drove to the location I usually go to. Looked suddenly closed. Note on the door said to try their other location in another county. Weird again. Okay. That location was also closed with a note on the door saying they had gone 100% virtual and to contact your provider directly.

Weird. So I did some digging. The practice had filed Chapter 11 months ago, and then Chapter 7 earlier this month when they apparently closed everything. They told none of their patients. So, what might have happened is that when my expected appointment came and I was out of refills, I go and nothing.

I have had to do some rather impressive gymnastics just to get my medical records from the practice so I can lift-and-shift someplace hopefully less sketchy. (I did.)

Isn't that illegal? I mean it's medication. For the seriously mentally ill. Don't they at least have to let the patients know? Get them somewhere else? I'm scrambling right now, and I know my GP will handle what she can while we get me referred somewhere, but sheesh.

For context Ive been mentally unwell for a while and avoidant of things like going to class, my dogs also very ill and near the end of her life.

Ive sent an email with a note attached from my therapist to 2 of my lecturers already but I also feel like it's personal.

The ones Ive sent them to one of them is an older woman, the other is a younger woman around my age and 3rd I'm still considering sending one to is around my age and a man.

I felt it was easy to send it to my other 2 lecturers for some reason maybe I just feel they might be more understanding? I dont know if they will but I felt more comfortable sending it to them.

I feel weird about sending a note to my lecturer who is basically the same age as me about my mental health troubles.

It makes me feel vulnerable.

Simply what the title says, it’s so damn difficult to be compliant, i want to stop all of my meds and feel alive again, but i know i can’t, it’s was a disaster every single time i did it.

Spent two weeks on grippy sock lockdown. I was in the middle of a med change and things went south quickly. I'm home now, obviously, but finding it hard to get back to the real world. The new meds have me so sedated. On the one hand, I'm not gonna go manic with the new regimen, but on the other hand, I'm sleeping hours a day. I don't want to talk to anyone, and leaving the house or showering seems impossible.

I've been diagnosed with Bipolar I, Bipolar II, and schizoaffective disorder at different times. Not sure which it is but it's obviously some bipolar spectrum.​

My sleep is fucked up. I go through months long periods of hypersomnia (sleeping 10-12 hours a night, plus a daily 2 hour nap) and then months of terrible insomnia where I lay in bed for 12 hours and only manage to force myself to sleep in small chunks. I've tried googling it and I don't really get any clear answers other than "could be psychiatric illness."

I should note here that I rarely get mania or hypomania. It's like 1 week out of the year, tops. The rest of the year is depression with maybe a few weeks of normal mood spritzed in. Both types of sleep issue come up when I'm depressed (which is most of the time). I struggle with daily severe anxiety, too. I notice during the times I have insomnia I'm fucking exhausted, but I feel too keyed up and unsafe/anxious to sleep. I'm anxious during the periods of hypersomnia too but it's like my body just crashes and shuts down. ​​​​​Two vastly different phases.

I don't think I can chalk the insomnia up to a mixed episode either because I don't think I really meet the full criteria for that. I don't have excessive energy, pressured sleep, racing thoughts, etc. I'm just depressed and anxious.

This is a mystery that's been plaguing me for a long time. I have yet to find anyone else with similar experiences online or an explanation. Is it a bipolar thing? Is it a me thing?​

*Had to repost because of the mods not allowing "general questions." It's sort of ridiculous.

é isso que vocês leram, e o buraco é bem mais embaixo.

estou de atestado psiquiátrico desde maio, até novembro, ou seja, praticamente 1 ano sem trabalhar, eu não consigo sair de casa, todas as vezes que tentei surgiam inumeros pensamentos na minha cabeça que me OBRIGAVAM a ficar, e isso não acontece só com o trabalho, eu também não saio de casa para lazer e outras coisas, não vejo amigos e não me sinto confortável na presença de ninguém, nem a minha mãe, que eu amo muito.

não sei o que ta acontecendo, me sinto desperdiçando a minha vida e sinto falta do meu trabalho, amigos, mas sair é sempre muito desconfortável.

me deem opiniões ou suposições do que pode estar acontecendo.

(TAB tipo 2, borderline)

EDIT: eu tomo minhas medicações corretamente.

I am unmedicated currently but just had a manic episode June and July this year. I’ve been very impulsive and euphoric today and got a little over 3 hours of sleep as I couldn’t settle to bed and I’m super awake and hyperactive and restless. The restlessness gets unbearable. I want to rent a car again. Music is so fun again. Will it get worse? Is it just a fluke? I see my psychiatrist again in 3 ish weeks. I was in a depressive episode but it has suddenly gotten better the last few days. I finished my poetry book and ordered a copy alongside a few other things. I’m scared in going to go into more debt. Am I noticing it early? I’m not really sure I’m new to all this. Someone give an outside POV.

After two years since I moved back with my family due to my last psychotic episode. I would like to announce I finally been able to move out and rent my own place. I really wanna thanks everyone of you for the information, the shared experiences, the books recommendations, and all the art and comments and posts that you share on this subreddit. It really helps at least me on the other side of the world. It takes time and tremendous effort but if I can do it, you definitely can too 🙏

I’ve cut my dose in half past two days, and I’m skipping for the next couple days (as long as I’m not dying on the bathroom floor with withdrawals). I’m a done with this shit. I don’t need it. I’ve been fine. Please don’t be mean to me, I legitimately don’t think I’m ill. I need to test it.

At 60 I got sober. Six months later, I got full blown mania for the first time. Anyone else experience this? The doctor said my BP 1 was “ under the surface” all my life. I’ve drank heavily since my teenage years. I’m glad I’m sober now, but the BP 1 diagnosis is depressing

I'm recovering from a very painful mixed episode that lasted 3 weeks. My psychiatrist increased my antipsychotics and it helped a lot. But the sudden increase made me very sick - awful nausea, dizziness and headaches.

It's been two weeks and I felt a lot better mentally and physically speaking. But since like 2-3 days I feel like my thoughts are racing again, along with other of my usual hypomania/accelerating symptoms. I've never had two episodes back to back and I'm kinda worried.

Of course I'll call my psychiatrist first thing in the morning but I'm wondering if it's even possible? Or could the mixed episode come back?

I have bipolar 2 and ADHD, I give my all at every job then quickly burn out. When I burn out I end up bringing that home and I feel awful, I don't wanna be that wife/mom. I makes me spiral really bad. What do y'all do to cope with the stress of work and burn out? I am medicated and have some therapy tools but I just feel so awful. I love my family and feel immense guilt when I'm being short with them.