I’ve cut my dose in half past two days, and I’m skipping for the next couple days (as long as I’m not dying on the bathroom floor with withdrawals). I’m a done with this shit. I don’t need it. I’ve been fine. Please don’t be mean to me, I legitimately don’t think I’m ill. I need to test it.

Hey buddies, I'm experiencing hypomania. They've increased my medication as needed, and I'm functioning okay, though obviously not at 100%. I'd like to know what you guys are doing right now. Nothing guarantees I won't have a manic episode, but I'm trying to sleep as much as possible.

The first symptom I noticed was my hormones going crazy over a guy. Out of excitement, I started sleeping later, until one day I slept for six hours and woke up feeling like nothing had happened. That's when I knew I had to do something. I'm afraid that suddenly, for no reason, I'll go crazy.

I work at a family business, and they help me with things. But I don't know if I should take a few days off, at least until the mood subsides. I've started smoking again and listening to loud music, which is what overstimulates my brain. (I stopped going to the gym for a few days, where, by the way, that guy I like was.) I feel like I'm doing what I can, except for the smoking and the overstimulation with the music.

What would you recommend? My psychiatrist already prescribed medication, but I don't want to list it here. Thank you for reading. Oh, one last thing: I was in a calorie deficit, and now I'm having trouble eating without worrying about gaining weight. I don't know what I should eat, whether to forget about it for a while, or what. Thank you in advance.

I am unmedicated currently but just had a manic episode June and July this year. I’ve been very impulsive and euphoric today and got a little over 3 hours of sleep as I couldn’t settle to bed and I’m super awake and hyperactive and restless. The restlessness gets unbearable. I want to rent a car again. Music is so fun again. Will it get worse? Is it just a fluke? I see my psychiatrist again in 3 ish weeks. I was in a depressive episode but it has suddenly gotten better the last few days. I finished my poetry book and ordered a copy alongside a few other things. I’m scared in going to go into more debt. Am I noticing it early? I’m not really sure I’m new to all this. Someone give an outside POV.

How does everyone stick to a schedule? One time I was so manic and in a psychosis I worked out 4 days on 1 day off and lost 70lbs in 4 months. Now I take my dogs for walks daily (not by choice) and aside from that I feel like I can’t get sober and have a heck of a time sticking to anything. I get annoyed or mad or loss motivation because I feel like I’m not in control.

Hi, I went through a manic episode a while ago during which I invited literally everyone I could think of to my birthday party, including people I'd just met that same week, which is also worrying but not the main problem.

The main problem is that I invited this one guy who annoys me so much with every fiber of his being. He's autistic and laughs and talks extremely loud which just pisses me off every time I'm around him. He also very obviously has a thing for me and always follows me around and tries to start conversations with me even when I'm very much not in the mood, he also used to write me terrible poems for every single holiday for some reason and could never understand that I was absolutely not into it. He's very sweet and kind-hearted, but I just definitely do not enjoy his company.

I can't believe I fucked up this bad by inviting him, I hate how I get myself into situations like these because of my illness and how little I am able to do about it. I was looking forward to this party too, it's my first time really having a big celebration. To make it even worse, he doesn't know anyone there so he'll just follow me around all the time and I won't be able to have a good time at all (my fault, not his).

I was considering maybe texting him that some plans have changed and I won't be able to invite him, but maybe suggesting meeting up just us two instead? Maybe that wouldn't be as much of a shitty move, especially since he wouldn't know anyone at the party and would probably have a better time just hanging out with me. (I'm sorry that makes me sound awful but it's just the truth).

Help 😭

Quitting weed, tabacco, alcohol and doing sports is bullshit. All I do is sleep and think of ways to kill myself. This shit is bullshit. I am completely sober and taking my medication and I am still a zombie. Just so my therapist and family can shut the fuck up I will stay 1 year sober from everything, I will do sports and work and trust me I will still feel like shit like now if not worse. At least drugs and alcohol keep me from wanting to go to Switzerland and do euthanasia.

All I do is sleep and imagine scenarios where I can kill myself and just be done with feeling like a train ran over me. I sleep 12h a day and I still feel exhausted. At least a joint and a beer keep me awake but of course I have to prove that I am not an addict just so people can finally shut the fuck up and stop saying its bad for me because I have bipolar type I. A bullet to the head would fix everything. If it wasnt for my family I would have already gone to do euthanasia, fuck this shit and fuck the brain I was born with.

I am not manic and I am not depressed, I am on medication and I still desire death because I am exhausted all of the time, I can barely get out of bed to eat breakfast and all I do is sleep sometimes 14 hours a day. I am sober and doing everything right and I still can't get out of bed.

Hi. I'm an older lady with Bipolar 1. I'm pretty quiet most of the time.

So, my psychiatrist appointment was coming up and I hadn't gotten a reminder call. Worried it was in my phone incorrectly, I called. The number was disconnected. Huh, weird, I thought. I'd been going to this practice for years.

I drove to the location I usually go to. Looked suddenly closed. Note on the door said to try their other location in another county. Weird again. Okay. That location was also closed with a note on the door saying they had gone 100% virtual and to contact your provider directly.

Weird. So I did some digging. The practice had filed Chapter 11 months ago, and then Chapter 7 earlier this month when they apparently closed everything. They told none of their patients. So, what might have happened is that when my expected appointment came and I was out of refills, I go and nothing.

I have had to do some rather impressive gymnastics just to get my medical records from the practice so I can lift-and-shift someplace hopefully less sketchy. (I did.)

Isn't that illegal? I mean it's medication. For the seriously mentally ill. Don't they at least have to let the patients know? Get them somewhere else? I'm scrambling right now, and I know my GP will handle what she can while we get me referred somewhere, but sheesh.

I just saw a TikTok about a girl denying being bipolar after being diagnosed by 2 different psychiatrists. I’m wondering if anyone else had a similar reaction because I accepted my diagnosis with open arms

My friend beaded me a little bipolar bear to give me a smile whenever I need a smile. It’s amazing when someone offers you support because we need it.

Spent two weeks on grippy sock lockdown. I was in the middle of a med change and things went south quickly. I'm home now, obviously, but finding it hard to get back to the real world. The new meds have me so sedated. On the one hand, I'm not gonna go manic with the new regimen, but on the other hand, I'm sleeping hours a day. I don't want to talk to anyone, and leaving the house or showering seems impossible.

I've been diagnosed with Bipolar I, Bipolar II, and schizoaffective disorder at different times. Not sure which it is but it's obviously some bipolar spectrum.​

My sleep is fucked up. I go through months long periods of hypersomnia (sleeping 10-12 hours a night, plus a daily 2 hour nap) and then months of terrible insomnia where I lay in bed for 12 hours and only manage to force myself to sleep in small chunks. I've tried googling it and I don't really get any clear answers other than "could be psychiatric illness."

I should note here that I rarely get mania or hypomania. It's like 1 week out of the year, tops. The rest of the year is depression with maybe a few weeks of normal mood spritzed in. Both types of sleep issue come up when I'm depressed (which is most of the time). I struggle with daily severe anxiety, too. I notice during the times I have insomnia I'm fucking exhausted, but I feel too keyed up and unsafe/anxious to sleep. I'm anxious during the periods of hypersomnia too but it's like my body just crashes and shuts down. ​​​​​Two vastly different phases.

I don't think I can chalk the insomnia up to a mixed episode either because I don't think I really meet the full criteria for that. I don't have excessive energy, pressured speech, racing thoughts, etc. I'm just depressed and anxious.

This is a mystery that's been plaguing me for a long time. I have yet to find anyone else with similar experiences online or an explanation. Is it a bipolar thing? Is it a me thing?​

*Had to repost because of the mods not allowing "general questions." It's sort of ridiculous.

Simply what the title says, it’s so damn difficult to be compliant, i want to stop all of my meds and feel alive again, but i know i can’t, it’s was a disaster every single time i did it.

For context Ive been mentally unwell for a while and avoidant of things like going to class, my dogs also very ill and near the end of her life.

Ive sent an email with a note attached from my therapist to 2 of my lecturers already but I also feel like it's personal.

The ones Ive sent them to one of them is an older woman, the other is a younger woman around my age and 3rd I'm still considering sending one to is around my age and a man.

I felt it was easy to send it to my other 2 lecturers for some reason maybe I just feel they might be more understanding? I dont know if they will but I felt more comfortable sending it to them.

I feel weird about sending a note to my lecturer who is basically the same age as me about my mental health troubles.

It makes me feel vulnerable.

Like not paying bills, even if you have the money. I keep finding myself in this weird cycle of borderline ignoring financial obligations. Powers been turned off before, even though I could have paid the bill... Late mortgage, CC, etc... It's really bothering me, and I still feel the stress and pressure from the lack of action.

When I’m hypomanic I talk my head off. I don’t prioritize work over socializing and I overshare.

I want to work on this and when I’m at baseline I’m a pretty good coworker, but it’s like my personal goals completely switch up. It’s not that I lack motivation, it’s that I have entirely different goals and I don’t want to work on them when I’m hypo.

I also become convinced that at least 60% of the people in my life are attracted to me, which has a 50% chance of me responding by flirting or getting very paranoid. I’m such a mess.

After a recent attempt my meds got all switched up so I’m even more in limbo right now and so stressed about how I acted before I got hospitalized.

I feel whiny and annoying when I try to explain that I wasn’t really myself, and I feel like I’m lying because it technically WAS me, WAS my brain, and that’s a side of me I’m responsible for. It also makes getting sober, something I want so badly, impossible or at least it feels that way. Idk what to do. I’m at a loss and so ashamed.

I’m about to be 22 and I act like a wired 13 year old that thinks she’s hot shit.

Hi, my situation is long and difficult.
I am 26, married and have bipolar 2.
In May my father started having severe health issues. I began lashing out by drinking more than ever, hanging out with crappy friends, and it led to a drunken hook up with a friends friend. Some may say I had a manic episode.
He did not finish, and I buried this information with me.
I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks later.
My husband and I were previously trying before my fathers health declined, so we assumed the baby was ours.
I’m now 17 weeks pregnant, and very scared this baby isn’t his. He knows the truth, and he still loves me for it (though he shouldn’t. I fucked up.)
We took a paternity test today, and I’m freaking the f*** out.
I feel intensely depressed and am considering self harm, or getting rid of myself if this baby isn’t his.
Part of me is rejecting this baby because of my mistake. I am so scared for all of us and I don’t know what to do.

​

Tldr: The title describes what the birds represent. I suffered from mixed episodes after losing my father suddenly, 3 years ago. There's a little over a year of intensive (psycho+art) therapy and balancing medications in between the two sculptures. I'm cautiously hopeful for the future.

Pictures: 1. then / 2. now / 3. then and now / 4-5. before firing / 6-7. different angles

My first manic episode at 21 led to my diagnosis. Over the past 10 years, traumatic experiences resurfaced my childhood trauma and led to major swings, followed by unexpectedly losing my dad just five weeks after his cancer diagnosis. I fully lost balance, causing mixed episodes and more trauma as a result of them. When even unhealthy coping mechanisms became unsuccessful, I fell into depression, agoraphobia, panic attacks and anxiety.

At my lowest, 1 year ago, I sculpted a bird in art therapy, to symbolize my feelings and wants. I felt unsafe, vulnerable, alone and closed-off (the egg). I felt I needed safety, protection, self-compassion and comfort (the bird embracing) and to allow myself all the time necessary for it. Through that first time working with clay, I found joy realizing I was good at it.

Recently, I sculpted another bird, representing how far I've come since my first and what I hope to find in my future: some wind beneath my wings, to enjoy rare moments I'm able to glide without constant effort, to look ahead from a safe distance and if I lose perspective, to stick around until I find it again. Lastly: to be brave enough to fly into new territory, to find my potential.

I took my new bird home last week, put it next to my first and got emotional. They really look like they're two parts of the same set. I'm now at a point where I'm okay with both of them existing. I feel like they can help eachother when it gets dark again. I'm proud of them and myself, so I wanted to share.

At 60 I got sober. Six months later, I got full blown mania for the first time. Anyone else experience this? The doctor said my BP 1 was “ under the surface” all my life. I’ve drank heavily since my teenage years. I’m glad I’m sober now, but the BP 1 diagnosis is depressing

I have bipolar 2 and ADHD, I give my all at every job then quickly burn out. When I burn out I end up bringing that home and I feel awful, I don't wanna be that wife/mom. I makes me spiral really bad. What do y'all do to cope with the stress of work and burn out? I am medicated and have some therapy tools but I just feel so awful. I love my family and feel immense guilt when I'm being short with them.

Hi all,

First of all, I want to thank each and one of you for the incredible support you give me by sharing your stories. Makes me feel less alone in this.

Regarding my story: I need help in understanding if what I am feeling is depression or it's just shame and sadness after my manic episode.

Two years ago I was diagnosed with Major Depressive episode and I was sent to a mental facility for a month. There they gave me a TCA (tri-cyclical antidepressant) and I felt amazing...too amazing.

I always have been a bubbly and a vulcano as my baseline, so I simply thought that I was back. This until they found me wandering in the street in a mania-induced psychosis so deep I did not remember my name.

I have been placed in an isolation room and then in a mental facility for two months to treat my mania.

During my manic episode I destroyed literally everything: I engaged in risk behavior, got addicted, blew up ALL my friends and some of my money. People used me stealing money and whatnot from myself and my body.

Most of all, I had most of my manic episode at work, during which I told everybody that I was engaging in drugs and other risky activities.

After my mania I have been in a massive depressive episode since 7-8 months. It started that I could not even get out of the house, and now it is going slightly better. I go to work and I sometimes see the few friends I have left.

I still cannot gym as I feel exhausted and this makes me feel very guilty.

Regarding work: they told me to find a new job because my colleagues won't talk to me. So now I am in the process of finding a new job and this makes me feeling exhausted.

My question is: how can I tell the difference between extreme sadness coming from destroying my life versus depression?

I feel it is depression because I cannot get pleasure in doing anything, not even the activities I loved (I tried to go back to kickboxing and I just could not like it).

Will I go ever back to normal?

Thanks all and sorry for my long post.

Does anyone else suffer from insomnia in every mood state?

I feel like I haven’t had a good restful sleep for 9 months and have been depressed the whole time after my first manic episode that got me diagnosed.

I have tried a bunch of meds, none of which have been able to get me that good restful sleep I remember having prior to all this. I also don’t seem to get any sleep drive despite knowing I’m tired which feels torturous.

I honestly believe if I was able to sleep well I would be out of this depression. I don’t how to fix this and it’s killing me.

Hi. I’m 20. I was diagnosed with bipolar type 2 last year. I’ve been in denial over my diagnosis for a while now, and I suppose a lot of it has to do with the fact I haven’t been in shambles in a minute. I’ve been avoiding things that could potentially trigger me and have been a little more productive than usual, I don’t feel terrible, I just feel invalid

I completely forget that a lot of this is heavy depression. I feel depressed most of the time. Even in my good days, it’s in the back of everything, there’s always some sort of feeling left behind, dormant.

When I was diagnosed some people in my life told me I don’t have it and to not worry about it, it doesn’t surprise me anymore that I was told all of this, society has a certain view of what a bipolar person looks like.

It’s weird, it’s like my heart knows who and what I am but my mind refuses to acknowledge it entirely, I block the seriousness of this off

Im the villain of the story. So around June of 2024 I had reconnected on Facebook with an old friend who happened to be my first true love and girlfriend. We started taking and she was divorced and im married. We started getting very close discovering each other again and decided to meet up. We live in completely different states but I was coming to visit family and she decided to come stay with me. The first night we kissed and connected but didnt sleep together, I didnt feel comfortable.

Sleeping with her was the best night of rest I had had in years. The next night we did end up making love an di told her I loved her and she said ths same. We have been together for over 2 years and literally text from around 9am to midnight 7 days a week and talk when possible.

Fast forward to this past week where ahe went on a cruise for 5 days. We had limited contact and spoke when.we could. I was able absolute mess with out having her each day and I made her upset and fell like I ring her trip and embarrassed her in front of her friends by saying I missed her and was sad.

She came home and we spent 2 hours having a discussion which felt like the start of a breakup over a lot of pent up issues shes been holding back that I have been oblivious too. This feels like it could be the end, I know I deserve no pity but I do love her and want to be with her forever. Ive never been happier and Id do anything to make her happy.

I am bipolar, I have Adhd and a touch of the tism. And have massive anxiety issues sometimes. I want this to work but im worried she has already given up and it will send me spiraling. Aside from me being garbage, I would appreciate any semblance of help. Im not sure if this whole thing has just been. A giant manic episode or not.