The anxiety is eating me alive. I almost had a panic attack about breathing. It starts small like about self, expands into family and relatives, and then explodes into worldwide worries about strangers who dont know I exist.

I try to find good and positive news, but the what ifs find me instead. I know I can't fix the world, but I daydream about it until im in tears. It's exhausting. I dont want to care.

I thought i got my meds right this time. It feels like my depression is down, and I was doing good. But now im here. I dont know how to cope.

Hi, my situation is long and difficult.
I am 26, married and have bipolar 2.
In May my father started having severe health issues. I began lashing out by drinking more than ever, hanging out with crappy friends, and it led to a drunken hook up with a friends friend. Some may say I had a manic episode.
He did not finish, and I buried this information with me.
I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks later.
My husband and I were previously trying before my fathers health declined, so we assumed the baby was ours.
I’m now 17 weeks pregnant, and very scared this baby isn’t his. He knows the truth, and he still loves me for it (though he shouldn’t. I fucked up.)
We took a paternity test today, and I’m freaking the f*** out.
I feel intensely depressed and am considering self harm, or getting rid of myself if this baby isn’t his.
Part of me is rejecting this baby because of my mistake. I am so scared for all of us and I don’t know what to do.

Hey buddies, I'm experiencing hypomania. They've increased my medication as needed, and I'm functioning okay, though obviously not at 100%. I'd like to know what you guys are doing right now. Nothing guarantees I won't have a manic episode, but I'm trying to sleep as much as possible.

The first symptom I noticed was my hormones going crazy over a guy. Out of excitement, I started sleeping later, until one day I slept for six hours and woke up feeling like nothing had happened. That's when I knew I had to do something. I'm afraid that suddenly, for no reason, I'll go crazy.

I work at a family business, and they help me with things. But I don't know if I should take a few days off, at least until the mood subsides. I've started smoking again and listening to loud music, which is what overstimulates my brain. (I stopped going to the gym for a few days, where, by the way, that guy I like was.) I feel like I'm doing what I can, except for the smoking and the overstimulation with the music.

What would you recommend? My psychiatrist already prescribed medication, but I don't want to list it here. Thank you for reading. Oh, one last thing: I was in a calorie deficit, and now I'm having trouble eating without worrying about gaining weight. I don't know what I should eat, whether to forget about it for a while, or what. Thank you in advance.

I am 6 weeks PP. I was on a low dose of medication when I was pregnant and stable. After giving birth my hormones tanked and I almost immediately started getting symptoms. I tried telling my psych this at 3 weeks and she told me I was having normal post partum symptoms.
I made an appointment on Friday and told her my symptoms were getting worse. She told me she doesn’t specialize in PP and pulled up a PPD screen on google, which I scored a 14 on and then asked what medication I wanted to be on. She explained what each side effect I could have on each medication & when to go to the ER. I don’t have help at home, so the thought freaked me out. I requested a genesight testing.
I now feel like I’m becoming manic and called them today. I requested my medication be upped and they put me on the schedule for tomorrow. I just wish my psych would have just put me on a medication and told me what to do if something happened. I’m already having extreme anxiety.
The only other psych in my area is booked out until October and I can’t wait that long. Anyway, I’m just sharing and hoping for some encouraging words.

Rant I guess because I don't know under what to put that. And sorry, English isn't my first language.

I've been on meds for the past 3-4 years, refused to take treatment, diagnosed bipolar 1 for at least 10-12 yers. I did stupid shit, I get that. Many if not most people with bipolar did stupid stuff.

But my curiosity is more towards, Do your partners sometimes accuse the bipo instead of taking responsibility ?

I know it's a weird way to put it, but, imagine, you're anxious, angry or frustrated by something THEY did over and over. And instead of changing things or doing things differently, they just ask you if you took your meds for exemple. 🙃

I'm having a really bad summer, not because of symptoms, but I had a car crash and stuff, and I'm particularly stable (even I am surprised), and this answer is like throwing at my face "are you on your period ?" Mind you. It's making me irritable as hell. So it's becoming an unending circle and I feel a depressif episode creeping on me in the shadows of my brian.

Thank y'all and take care

İlaçlarınızı fazla aldığınız ve bu süreçte uyuşturucu kullanan bırakan kişiler var mı ben bıraktım neler hissediyorsunuz yaşayan var ise durumu karma bir psikolojideyim yardımcı olursanız hislerinizi düşüncelerinizi yazarsanız çok sevinirim 🫡🌹

I’ve cut my dose in half past two days, and I’m skipping for the next couple days (as long as I’m not dying on the bathroom floor with withdrawals). I’m a done with this shit. I don’t need it. I’ve been fine. Please don’t be mean to me, I legitimately don’t think I’m ill. I need to test it.

Like not paying bills, even if you have the money. I keep finding myself in this weird cycle of borderline ignoring financial obligations. Powers been turned off before, even though I could have paid the bill... Late mortgage, CC, etc... It's really bothering me, and I still feel the stress and pressure from the lack of action.

I'm recovering from a very painful mixed episode that lasted 3 weeks. My psychiatrist increased my antipsychotics and it helped a lot. But the sudden increase made me very sick - awful nausea, dizziness and headaches.

It's been two weeks and I felt a lot better mentally and physically speaking. But since like 2-3 days I feel like my thoughts are racing again, along with other of my usual hypomania/accelerating symptoms. I've never had two episodes back to back and I'm kinda worried.

Of course I'll call my psychiatrist first thing in the morning but I'm wondering if it's even possible? Or could the mixed episode come back?

For context Ive been mentally unwell for a while and avoidant of things like going to class, my dogs also very ill and near the end of her life.

Ive sent an email with a note attached from my therapist to 2 of my lecturers already but I also feel like it's personal.

The ones Ive sent them to one of them is an older woman, the other is a younger woman around my age and 3rd I'm still considering sending one to is around my age and a man.

I felt it was easy to send it to my other 2 lecturers for some reason maybe I just feel they might be more understanding? I dont know if they will but I felt more comfortable sending it to them.

I feel weird about sending a note to my lecturer who is basically the same age as me about my mental health troubles.

It makes me feel vulnerable.

Simply what the title says, it’s so damn difficult to be compliant, i want to stop all of my meds and feel alive again, but i know i can’t, it’s was a disaster every single time i did it.

Spent two weeks on grippy sock lockdown. I was in the middle of a med change and things went south quickly. I'm home now, obviously, but finding it hard to get back to the real world. The new meds have me so sedated. On the one hand, I'm not gonna go manic with the new regimen, but on the other hand, I'm sleeping hours a day. I don't want to talk to anyone, and leaving the house or showering seems impossible.

I've been diagnosed with Bipolar I, Bipolar II, and schizoaffective disorder at different times. Not sure which it is but it's obviously some bipolar spectrum.​

My sleep is fucked up. I go through months long periods of hypersomnia (sleeping 10-12 hours a night, plus a daily 2 hour nap) and then months of terrible insomnia where I lay in bed for 12 hours and only manage to force myself to sleep in small chunks. I've tried googling it and I don't really get any clear answers other than "could be psychiatric illness."

I should note here that I rarely get mania or hypomania. It's like 1 week out of the year, tops. The rest of the year is depression with maybe a few weeks of normal mood spritzed in. Both types of sleep issue come up when I'm depressed (which is most of the time). I struggle with daily severe anxiety, too. I notice during the times I have insomnia I'm fucking exhausted, but I feel too keyed up and unsafe/anxious to sleep. I'm anxious during the periods of hypersomnia too but it's like my body just crashes and shuts down. ​​​​​Two vastly different phases.

I don't think I can chalk the insomnia up to a mixed episode either because I don't think I really meet the full criteria for that. I don't have excessive energy, pressured speech, racing thoughts, etc. I'm just depressed and anxious.

This is a mystery that's been plaguing me for a long time. I have yet to find anyone else with similar experiences online or an explanation. Is it a bipolar thing? Is it a me thing?​

*Had to repost because of the mods not allowing "general questions." It's sort of ridiculous.

Quitting weed, tabacco, alcohol and doing sports is bullshit. All I do is sleep and think of ways to kill myself. This shit is bullshit. I am completely sober and taking my medication and I am still a zombie. Just so my therapist and family can shut the fuck up I will stay 1 year sober from everything, I will do sports and work and trust me I will still feel like shit like now if not worse. At least drugs and alcohol keep me from wanting to go to Switzerland and do euthanasia.

All I do is sleep and imagine scenarios where I can kill myself and just be done with feeling like a train ran over me. I sleep 12h a day and I still feel exhausted. At least a joint and a beer keep me awake but of course I have to prove that I am not an addict just so people can finally shut the fuck up and stop saying its bad for me because I have bipolar type I. A bullet to the head would fix everything. If it wasnt for my family I would have already gone to do euthanasia, fuck this shit and fuck the brain I was born with.

I am not manic and I am not depressed, I am on medication and I still desire death because I am exhausted all of the time, I can barely get out of bed to eat breakfast and all I do is sleep sometimes 14 hours a day. I am sober and doing everything right and I still can't get out of bed.

I used to be able to read tons of books on political theory easily even when I was depressed and more importantly retain the knowledge. Ever since I've been on these new meds while my mental health has improved I simply can not retain anything I read. Its hell. I've failed my semester and I can not do another leap year. Please ajy tips or help? Got 3 exams in a few days and I will fail them all.

I am unmedicated currently but just had a manic episode June and July this year. I’ve been very impulsive and euphoric today and got a little over 3 hours of sleep as I couldn’t settle to bed and I’m super awake and hyperactive and restless. The restlessness gets unbearable. I want to rent a car again. Music is so fun again. Will it get worse? Is it just a fluke? I see my psychiatrist again in 3 ish weeks. I was in a depressive episode but it has suddenly gotten better the last few days. I finished my poetry book and ordered a copy alongside a few other things. I’m scared in going to go into more debt. Am I noticing it early? I’m not really sure I’m new to all this. Someone give an outside POV.

Hi, I went through a manic episode a while ago during which I invited literally everyone I could think of to my birthday party, including people I'd just met that same week, which is also worrying but not the main problem.

The main problem is that I invited this one guy who annoys me so much with every fiber of his being. He's autistic and laughs and talks extremely loud which just pisses me off every time I'm around him. He also very obviously has a thing for me and always follows me around and tries to start conversations with me even when I'm very much not in the mood, he also used to write me terrible poems for every single holiday for some reason and could never understand that I was absolutely not into it. He's very sweet and kind-hearted, but I just definitely do not enjoy his company.

I can't believe I fucked up this bad by inviting him, I hate how I get myself into situations like these because of my illness and how little I am able to do about it. I was looking forward to this party too, it's my first time really having a big celebration. To make it even worse, he doesn't know anyone there so he'll just follow me around all the time and I won't be able to have a good time at all (my fault, not his).

I was considering maybe texting him that some plans have changed and I won't be able to invite him, but maybe suggesting meeting up just us two instead? Maybe that wouldn't be as much of a shitty move, especially since he wouldn't know anyone at the party and would probably have a better time just hanging out with me. (I'm sorry that makes me sound awful but it's just the truth).

Help 😭

When I’m hypomanic I talk my head off. I don’t prioritize work over socializing and I overshare.

I want to work on this and when I’m at baseline I’m a pretty good coworker, but it’s like my personal goals completely switch up. It’s not that I lack motivation, it’s that I have entirely different goals and I don’t want to work on them when I’m hypo.

I also become convinced that at least 60% of the people in my life are attracted to me, which has a 50% chance of me responding by flirting or getting very paranoid. I’m such a mess.

After a recent attempt my meds got all switched up so I’m even more in limbo right now and so stressed about how I acted before I got hospitalized.

I feel whiny and annoying when I try to explain that I wasn’t really myself, and I feel like I’m lying because it technically WAS me, WAS my brain, and that’s a side of me I’m responsible for. It also makes getting sober, something I want so badly, impossible or at least it feels that way. Idk what to do. I’m at a loss and so ashamed.

I’m about to be 22 and I act like a wired 13 year old that thinks she’s hot shit.

My friend beaded me a little bipolar bear to give me a smile whenever I need a smile. It’s amazing when someone offers you support because we need it.

​

Tldr: The title describes what the birds represent. I suffered from mixed episodes after losing my father suddenly, 3 years ago. There's a little over a year of intensive (psycho+art) therapy and balancing medications in between the two sculptures. I'm cautiously hopeful for the future.

Pictures: 1. then / 2. now / 3. then and now / 4-5. before firing / 6-7. different angles

My first manic episode at 21 led to my diagnosis. Over the past 10 years, traumatic experiences resurfaced my childhood trauma and led to major swings, followed by unexpectedly losing my dad just five weeks after his cancer diagnosis. I fully lost balance, causing mixed episodes and more trauma as a result of them. When even unhealthy coping mechanisms became unsuccessful, I fell into depression, agoraphobia, panic attacks and anxiety.

At my lowest, 1 year ago, I sculpted a bird in art therapy, to symbolize my feelings and wants. I felt unsafe, vulnerable, alone and closed-off (the egg). I felt I needed safety, protection, self-compassion and comfort (the bird embracing) and to allow myself all the time necessary for it. Through that first time working with clay, I found joy realizing I was good at it.

Recently, I sculpted another bird, representing how far I've come since my first and what I hope to find in my future: some wind beneath my wings, to enjoy rare moments I'm able to glide without constant effort, to look ahead from a safe distance and if I lose perspective, to stick around until I find it again. Lastly: to be brave enough to fly into new territory, to find my potential.

I took my new bird home last week, put it next to my first and got emotional. They really look like they're two parts of the same set. I'm now at a point where I'm okay with both of them existing. I feel like they can help eachother when it gets dark again. I'm proud of them and myself, so I wanted to share.

Hi all,

First time posting here as I received my diagnosis of bipolar 2 a few weeks ago.

I’m trying to learn how to cope with it. I have many other diagnosis’s: PTSD, BPD, OCD, Depression, anxiety, panic disorder. Everytime I was diagnosed I took a week to feel sad about it and then pulled myself together to do my best to deal with them.

I just can’t shake the feeling that this is for life, that I’ve scared the shit out of everyone and that might be for life, that the dangerous moments might be for life, that the constant doctors appointments and medication might be for life etc.

I was in a psych ward for a few months at the start of the year and was put on a mood stabiliser which definitely helped the depression at first but then about two months ago it stopped helping and I sunk back into a depressive episode after a hypomanic which led to the diagnosis.

They’re upping my mood stabiliser tonight and I’m going back into hospital in a few days as well as starting a new counselling service. I don’t know what else to do.

I have emergency plans written out for every kind of episode I can have and my friends and family have them too. Anything else I can do to get better?

Edit: changed med name

At 60 I got sober. Six months later, I got full blown mania for the first time. Anyone else experience this? The doctor said my BP 1 was “ under the surface” all my life. I’ve drank heavily since my teenage years. I’m glad I’m sober now, but the BP 1 diagnosis is depressing

I have bipolar 2 and ADHD, I give my all at every job then quickly burn out. When I burn out I end up bringing that home and I feel awful, I don't wanna be that wife/mom. I makes me spiral really bad. What do y'all do to cope with the stress of work and burn out? I am medicated and have some therapy tools but I just feel so awful. I love my family and feel immense guilt when I'm being short with them.