TLDR: You don't get one. Don't wanna read? Leave.
She was my baby girl. I had her since she was a kitten. When I got her and put her into my apartment she just kept screaming her head off at me. In the bathroom, in the shower, she followed me everywhere. Cleaning my house she sh!t on the wall. She was the only good thing I got out of my marriage. I had her for almost like 7 years. I got her when she was just old enough to eat solid foods. She was like my daughter, every day when I came home shed run up meowing at me, tail raised high ready for uppies.
She had 2 other family member like her, Cheeto (still here thank God) and Lucy(Lucifer), a pure black kitten she adopted. Lucy passed away a few years ago.
Recently I found Jesus. Edgar didn't care much what I did as long as she was there, either being held or sitting on my lap but when I got saved I immediately tried to figure out if she was good to go. Psalm 36 the one line of verse 6 "both man and beast you save, O' Lord" was plenty enough for me to believe whether if it was me or her we would see each other again.
I noticed she was wobbly. I'm disabled I had 2 weeks before I got paid. Her wobbles were more than enough to make me say "vet visit." She was tough as nails, about the dumbest cat you'dve seen, absolutely fat too. The next day I found her in her cupboard she liked to sleep in, she was very mad at me when I moved her. Like always she ran towards the screen door because she loved walks, but she was pacing, like she was in a rush to go do a thing. I picked her up and didn't go outside, she yowelled at me and peed in my arms. I took her outside to finish peeing and just let her be in the grass. No harness nothing. She just sat there, staring at the house. I changed my clothes when I got back outside she was still there, marvelling at the house. She layed down to sleep and I layed my house coat over her so she'd be warm in the early morning. She walked like 10 feet then stopped and loaded, starring at the road, I moved out of the way so she could have some sunlight as cats cat ya know? We sat staring at the road, I just drank my coffee. I was broke, there was nothing I could do. She walked towards the back yard, around the rose bush, and just stopped, and stared at the woods. I picked her up and put her back in the original spot I put her after she peed on me. I went inside and I got her the last canned chicken I had and some water, but when I came back out she wasn't there. Shed moved just passed the rose bush starring at the woods in the backyard. I set her food down and when I did that she layed down and fell asleep in the sun. While she slept I combed through her fur and I could see the tip of her tail wagging. She got up, and looked at my truck, so I pulled down my tailgate to let her up and sure enough she jumped right on in. Tried to. She fell, I had to catch her and put her up there. She layed down on the warm truck bed and I just took a nap too right next to her like every other night. My mom woke me up to give me cake, I told her what was going on she offered me to take her to the vet. Then she woke up, panting, overheating so I turned my truck on, full blasted AC and before putting her in there she sh!tted on my arm(not as bad as the wall) obviously I took care of it, cleaned myself up as fast as I could and put her in my lap and in the ac. Before we left for the vet I put her in a cat crate and asked if she was ready. She meowed and we were off. Driving down the road I prayed "my Lord if my faith is strong enough let me move this mountain." I felt a hand on my shoulder and I got the feeling it was all going to be ok regardless of what happened. So I just sang her songs. She always loved it when I had my autistic vocal fit because she'd sing along, and I know it because it seemed like she was trying to follow the beat. She didn't meow 1 time the whole car ride. We got to the vet and again "are you ready big girl?" "Meow" so we went inside. She had a severe allergy to fleas. They told me a normal cats red blood cell count was 35-45% she was at 5%. She needed blood transfusions and I couldn't afford it so I had to put her down. When it was time I had a sharp pain in my left hand, I held her head in it and I told her "don't worry baby, I'll see you soon" and I got 1 last "meow"
I was born 07/19/2000 2:45pm, my Edgar died 07/19/2026 3:16 PM. Me and my dad walked around the rose bush and to the woods, same line she walked. Her first outside adventure was outside on a little plateau on a hill, she was buried on the same plateau. First time I saw her she yelled at me, the last time I saw her she whispered. Mom gave me a piece of cake for my birthday, I buried her with her favorite toy, a piece of jingly crinkly cake. For my birthday God gave me one last afternoon with my daughter and for my birthday she gave me a concrete faith that she is in my Christ's arms. Like concrete it takes time to set, and it's taken me a long time for it to set and I still got a ways to go. I'll see you soon Edgar, I have faith. Btw, her actual name was Espoir and IDK what it really means but when my ex named her she said it was French for hope. My hope was lost, so I may have faith. I'm happy for her, her burdens are no more and she has the biggest fields to run in and so many new fields and forrests to run in. Oh how I can't wait for my turn.