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Does anyone do it ? How did it start ? How long is it going ? What do you do with them ?

I have read numerous posts on this sub and the tributary sub called r/cougarsandcubsmatch about how everyone older is a mommy , milf , cougar and younger guys are cubs

Labels like these just make it sound like the age gaps are a fetish you are trying to full fill.

let the woman be a woman and the guy be a guy

edit ( I'm a guy and I'm glad to see that people share this feeling )

I take a lot of group fitness classes. A month or so ago a guy I was paired with made a point to introduce himself to me by name. Most people just give a little nod or hello, or don't say or do anything. I've seen him around before and find him attractive. We had a meet cute during class doing a dumbbell exercise and I increased my weight to the same as his. When he went to return his weight, he looked confused because the other one was missing, and we both laughed when he realized I had it. I thought this was nice because I am used to guys becoming competitive or being insecure if I use the same or heavier weight than they do. At the end of class we are supposed to wipe down the last things we used, and he also brought me a wipe, which I found to be thoughtful.

I haven't seen him as much since then because I've had to travel for work and now it seems like he may be away also. The couple times I have seen him it's not been a moment to really engage or say hi. I thought he was in his early 30s, but our studio tagged him on social media and I think he is only 26. I am 42. I have no idea how old he thinks I am, as I seem to confuse people. I have a lot of grey hair that I keep natural, but people seem to either think I am younger than I am, or like 65 years old, lol.

So yeah, curious what everyone here thinks. If he might be interested or was just being nice to me, and how I should proceed. In general, I am looking to make more friends in the fitness community, so after that first encounter I told myself I should make a point to say hi to him since I do know him by name now (I am a bit shy).

I’ve (22M) been texting with this (33F) that I found on a dating app and both of us hit it off pretty good, not to mention she absolutely loves it that I’m in the army (She loves it when I say “I’ll fight for you”). However an obstacle I find myself in is that our work hours and days off don’t align, but we’re working out a solution together to make it work. Now I feel like I’m coming into her like I’m clingy and I wanna know everything about her, I feel like it might drive her away (which I don’t wanna do). Also whenever I try to buy her gifts or get her something she usually says “That’s not necessary”.

What are some things I should do to make myself stand out for her? Any tips would be amazing (even if it’s brutally honest and real)

It’s normal for me to be really into older women sexually; I feel more drawn to them—they’re better at everything, even the way they speak. I’ve always wanted the chance to pursue one, but the opportunity hasn't come up. I don't know if they’d be interested in a younger guy, and I haven't tried because I’m afraid of rejection, but I’d love for my first time to be with an older woman.

I'm 32, my man is 23. Just curious if you would consider this cougar/cub? What is your gap to consider it a cougar/cub situation?

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I'm a male early 30's and I'm a month into dating a wonderful woman in her mid to late 40's. We're both entrepreneurs, so we are very likeminded. I love our conversations and spending time with her. However, unsure how to approach some serious topics with tenderness (?) (I'm a rather direct person) to be considerate of both our times:

1. l'd like a family, given her age I realize a natural birth probably isn't possible so I'm happy to adopt / if we can afford it, hire a surrogate.
2. My biggest concern. We met in a city I don't see myself in, in 2 years time. I want to move to NYC or an adjacent suburb (Westchester or Bergen County, NJ) She has her whole life here. This is a conversation to have with her personally I know. But I guess how do I approach this topic with the right empathy/ mindset is my question

How should I handle answers | don't want to hear?
Should I offer a casual relationship while we're in the same geographic region or just offer friendship?
Really trying to be considerate of her time and effort.

I have an older brother and sister and they both think I'm crazy for even seriously considering this woman as a serious partner so they've been no help in terms of advice, so here l am Reddit.

I will try keep this as concise as I can. So I (M23) have been going out with (F45) for a couple months now. We met through work and initially it was meant to be a one night stand after a work night out in my eyes. Although, we went on to have a good few dates as well as had sex multiple times since. She has 2 kids aged 20 and 25 which I haven't met as they are living abroad so we always have the house to ourselves.

I'm just worrying about the future about the negative connotations with age gap relationships and what my friends, parents and anyone else would think of it. I'm not 100% if I can see myself in this relationship in 20 years time. I do enjoy her company and I do find her both emotionally and sexually attractive at this time.

Anytime we are out we do get weird looks at us and I can see others gossiping while looking in our direction as the gap is obvious to look at when you see the two of us. I don't have much experience in other relationships as serious as this is now so am unsure of what something healthy looks like. Any advice from others in the same position or any comment at all is greatly appreciated.

I (m34) met this cougar (f50) at the bar last week. She was with her friend enjoying herself on a Thursday evening. I sparked up a convo and ended up talking to each other the whole time. We were both very flirtatious clearly having a great time. At the end I said we should grab a drink sometime, she said let me give you my number. She seemed very into me and adamant I get her number. With all that being said my generation is big on texting and she will only respond once or twice a day. I’m thinking it’s just a generational thing? I’m like is she not into me? Maybe I’m over thinking it. We have yet to make plans but have had small talk via text. What do you think ?

I'm 23 Cub who's in a LDR with 50 Cougar and We were a great match and she was the first person that I revealed my identity and some little secrets too. But it looks like somehow the connection seems to be off for some reason from her side. Also she send this to me when i forwarded her a meme said "Is this relationship okay? 23 years and 50 years" _"Spirit connects with spirit. Or... you're just a horny guy want an experienced vixen*. I tried to convince her but she seems like not interested anymore. And she was the first woman I opened up my heart after my breakup in 2022.

I’m 23 and I work with this woman who is 49 I know it might be nothing but sometimes I feel like she’s into me. First she will touch my shoulder a lot when talking or walking by or if she’s walking infront of me from a distance she will turn around to look at me just really quick and then keep walking I don’t think she thinks I’m a creep which is why it’s weird. Also she will stand really close to me like almost shoulders touching if I have to show her something work related or if we’re talking she will put her hair behind her shoulder exposing her neck and she only does it with me or if I tell a joke she will start giggling like a kid touching my arms

im 24 and I have this coworker who I spend a lot of time goofing off with. she's 40 but she acts just like me so naturally she became my closest friend at work. sometimes she'll tease me about when im going to find a girl, she comments on what i wear if i show up in something new. she'll grab my hair and pull it and then one time she bit my shoulder but idk if thats flirting or her just being odd. i have a hugeeeee thing for older women but i dont wanna like make a move and make things awkward if she's just being friendly. also im sure older women would rather make the move on a younger man right ?

So I’m 28 dating a 45 year old, I do want a one child of my own, but she’s on the fence about it. Issue is I really do love her a lot and would love to start a family with her. I do have two jobs, but I don’t have a career.

As of this year, I’m 38, and I think I still look pretty good for my age. I take care of myself, I’m educated, established, and generally have my life together.

Over the past year or so, I’ve had about three casual hookups/week-to-week flings with guys in their early to mid-20s. One was a successful computer engineer who basically ghosted me after we slept together. The other two were actually really nice to me, didn’t ghost me initially, and we saw each other multiple times. But all of them eventually disappeared around the third week.

The thing is, I don’t necessarily want to date these guys either. Obviously, there can be pretty significant financial and life-stage differences between a 38-year-old and someone in their early 20s, and I’m realistic about that. But I do enjoy their company and would be perfectly happy to stay in touch, keep seeing each other casually, or just maintain some kind of friendship.

Instead, it seems like once we hit around week three, they just completely disappear.

So I’m wondering: is this simply a life-stage/age-gap thing?

I’m obviously in a very different place in life than someone in their early 20s. I’m established, more educated than these guys, financially independent, etc., while they’re still figuring out what they want out of life.

I’m not expecting a 22-year-old to want to settle down with a 38-year-old. I’m just curious why even the casual situations seem to have such a short shelf life.

Is this just what happens when you’re dating/hooking up with guys that much younger, or am I doing something that causes them to lose interest after a few weeks?

I (32F) am dating a man 7 years younger than me (25M) and feeling uneasy about our future.

We’ve been together 3 years & the age gap has never really been a problem. We have so many common interests, he’s incredibly mature for his age, is an amazing communicator & partner, & is the love of my life.

However, recently he has been struggling with the fact that he doesn’t feel ready for kids or marriage. A lot of my friends (& his) are getting married & settling down/having kids, & he feels a lot of pressure to do the same, even though I’ve never put this pressure on him. I do want to have kids, but I’m not ready for them yet nor in a rush to have them. He is feeling super hesitant about the future because he doesn’t want to put me in a situation where he’s still not ready for kids in 5-6 years which puts me at 37-38, which is on the later side of my personal ‘having kids’ window. I am open to having kids later, but he’s scared he won’t be ready when I am & doesn’t want that to cause our relationship to fail & then me end up being 38 & single.

We’ve decided to take a break to give ourselves a chance to truly think through the compromises we both will have to make if we decide to stay together & take the next step.

Have any of you been in a similar situation? Did you stay together? Did it work out? Personally I want to take the leap because he is the one for me & I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He is blossoming in his career & has so much ahead of him, & I also don’t want him to feel like I am holding him back or impacting his freedom/future in any way down the line.

tl;dr my boyfriend is unsure if he will want to have kids & with me being 7yrs older, my biological clock is ticking & if we stay together he will become a dad at a younger age than he’d ideally like

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Or post a brief comment in our weekly **Thursday Roll Call** and a **Sunday Hunt** posts

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🌟 IT'S MONDAY!! This is our weekly "Off Topic Post" where you can chat with other members, check-in, tell us how your day is going, what plans you have coming up and generally what's going on in your part of the world. Remember this is our Off Topic post. No questions related to dating etc.

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First off, this post is not meant to come off as judgmental in any way. I am genuinely curious.

I was combing through the subreddit and saw some stories about cougars dating cubs / kittens that were in the age range of 18 - 22 years old. I thought to myself and wondered about the dynamics of that relationship.

For the women that dated someone in the 18 - 22 years of age demographic:

• What about them did you find attractive?
• Did you / how did you overcome the age aspect?
• What was the relationship dynamic like? Benefits? Challenges? What did their family think?
• What is the status of yalls relationship now? If it ended, how did it end?

Does it mean like you’ve been hit on by older women or vice versa, is it the actual age gap itself (my reasoning), is it after you found out their age like what exactly makes a cub a cub please shed some insight I’m confused