Especially if he suggests picking you up at 6:30pm, which is pretty late imo

I went on two dates with a guy and honestly I really like him so far. It’s pretty rare I find someone I like so I haven’t dated in a very long time.

He’s out of the country for the next few weeks and I have dates scheduled with other guys (I agreed to them before I met the guy I like). Should I cancel them? Is that odd after two dates?

I think he likes me and he said he wants to see me when he’s back so I’m very happy to wait, I just don’t know if it’s a bit extreme to cancel everyone else and shut everyone else down after two dates?

I can’t tell if I’m moving too fast by cancelling or being disrespectful by going on other dates.

so, i’m going to try to keep this as simple as possible. i just turned 20 a week ago, and i’ve been seeing this guy (26M) for about three months. we met on hinge, we went on a simple first date (açaí bowls), and we found a nice spot to make out after. afterwards, we started hooking up, and it’s pretty great honestly, no complaints there.

i think after the first time we did it, i asked if we could potentially form a relationship out of this, and deep down, i’m worried that what i said might’ve scared him a bit because now, he tells me that he has committal issues. keep in mind, he tell me that he wants a relationship out of this but, wants to take things slow. i’m not gonna fault him for that because i also had committal issues after i got out of a pretty bad relationship.

but, i realized that the signs are pointing to him not wanting an actual relationship and just wanting something non committal.

1. he only uses pet names with me. he has never ever said my real name in a conversation
   
2. he usually takes hours and sometimes a whole day to text back
   
3. he constantly says that he’s busy with work or just sleeping. i’m not gonna say where he works, but he works in retail. i don’t know how busy retail actually is but it feels like he’s just not replying back for a very long time because he’s talking to other people

i can’t really tell him who he can and can’t talk to because we are not together, but at the same time, i don’t think he’s being fully transparent with me. i really like this guy, but im nervous to put all my eggs in one basket because i can’t help but feel like he’s talking to other women. what should i do? should i trust my intuition, or does it seem like i’m overthinking?

I (28M) feel ready to find a partner and I’m kind of sad that I struggle so much. I get increasingly jealous at seeing pretty much all my friends in happy relationships without being able to find one myself.

I get opportunities here and there but none of them fit my standards (which are “funny, confident and nerdy”, I don’t think any of these are unreasonable).

I’ve accepted that my (apparent) high standards mean that if I want to find someone, I’ll have to grind for it. That is, multiply opportunities to meet new people. I have met all of my friends’ friends and there’s no one at my job. Realistically, the best option now is go to events where I could meet someone with common interests and whatnot. Problem is, I don’t really care for making new friends (I have all the ones I need) and most of my hobbies are solitary. Thus, I struggle to find the motivation to go to these kind of events, because if I don’t find anyone at one event then it feels like I could have used that time on friends or hobbies instead.

Basically, I treat this quest for a partner as job searching, because the usual positive aspects of these events (making new friends, exploring hobbies) don’t do it for me.

The question is kinda vague so I guess I’ll just ask : what would you do if you were in my situation ?

My wife and I have recently had a baby girl and already at two weeks postpartum, we've hit our first major disagreement as new parents. I’ve suggested that this weekend would be a lovely time for us to take a stroll up Ben Nevis as a family. Especially since it will soon be colder months making it more difficult with a baby in tow.

Before everyone jumps down my throat, I said I'd carry the baby in one of those front carriers, so she wouldn't even have to worry about that. I've also gone the extra mile for her and purchased CamelBak, which I suggested we could fill with breast milk as she refuses combination feed (despite me previously suggesting it would make outings like this difficult). That way whenever our daughter gets hungry I can just run the drinking tube round from my shoulder. Basically breastfeeding but with the efficiency. My wife says apparently breast milk "just doesn't work like that" and has said I’m unreasonable as she gave birth less than a month ago (please note if she had a sunroof delivery, i obviously wouldn’t suggest this. There were no complications whatsoever).

I also offered pack a nice picnic with salad and water and tried to motivate her that it could be a good opportunity for her to start losing the baby belly. She’s been complaining of weight gain since month 4 of pregnancy but not really done much about it. Don’t get me wrong, she isn’t morbidly obese or anything but there have been some changes. It’s not just me who’s noticed, my Mum actually pulled me to the side last week and mentioned it discreetly. I just don’t want her to have people talking/laughing behind her back, especially as we come closer to Christmas parties etc.

She hasn't spoken to me properly since I suggested the family outing. She mentioned how she didn’t think she could do Ben Nevis in 7hrs. I said she could go at her own pace and reassured her that our daughter is also my daughter too and I am more than capable of keeping her safe if we end up ahead of her at any point. It seems honestly like a control thing for me at this point. Like why should I not be able to go for a walk with my daughter just because she can’t keep up??

As always then comes the hurtful insults “do you have brain damage?” Which, quite frankly, I thought was a bit insensitive because I have actually suffered a head injury before.
A few years ago I was helping my mate move a wardrobe into a second-floor flat. We couldn't get it round the staircase, so we decided the sensible solution was to tie a rope around it and pull it up the outside of the building. I was underneath guiding it and the knot came undone. I won’t go into detail due to not knowing how to include a trigger warning. I don't remember the wardrobe hitting me, but apparently my first words after regaining consciousness was to ask if the wardrobe was okay. Surely that shows I’m not selfish. I guess it’s not enough for her. Anyway I thought bringing that up during an unrelated marital disagreement was frankly below the belt and actually rather sick of her.

Anyway, I feel like she's focusing entirely on the negatives. The baby gets fresh Scottish air, we get our first proper family day out, she gets some post-pregnancy exercise and hopefully starts shifting a bit of that belly.

Even worse she spoke to her Mum about things and now I have her messaging me calling me a “fucking idiot”. I guess this was always going to be the case if this is what she was raised around. I’m just hoping to guide my daughter well so it doesn’t rub off. Personally I think it’s all a little harsh considering I haven't even booked the accommodation yet and am only thinking of the wellness of my new family.

AITAH, or are they both being a bit dramatic?i

Reddit go ahead and rip me a new one.
Ive (F) been seeing a coworker (M)… yeah it started bad I know. Anyways we’ve been hooking up for almost 3 years. I moved to a different department before we started messing around but when we used to work together we would talk and text venting about work.
Fast forward to now I see him talking to everyone, coworkers, customers, new employees you name it. For me he only messages me for a meet up, he knows how much it bothers me for the past year I’ve ended things many times, but we get back together because obviously I have no boundaries for myself.
I’ve decided I can’t be doing this endless back and forth so I decided to block him but he is a few streps away from my office. Should I had explain to him we are done? I’ve told him my thoughts and how I feel many times, I’m a human at the end and a little “hey how are you “ goes a long way.

N: 28, accountant, we dated a year ago pretty seriously (met his family and friend), I dumped him because I didn’t think he was the one. Ran into each other two weeks ago have been sleeping together since and have got very intense and he wants to start again officially. I do too somewhat. He’s fun and I feel more free with him but not sure we want the same type of lifestyle.

R: 33, doctor, attractive we had been on 3 dates untill I ran into N. He is somewhat my type perfect man on paper.I like him and something could blossom. He wants exclusivity now and wants to marry in a year or two. Marrying this man comes with many cultural obligations and loss of authenticity but everyone thinks he is perfect.

What on earth do I do? I don’t want to screw anyone over.

Hello everyone, 20f here. I wanted some advice because on saturday I will be meeting a guy that I have found attractive for like 10 months, I have never talked to him but I always saw him in mass from a distance and thought to myself that he looks cute. Anyway he will be coming to like a friendly meeting of the young people in church, we will be like 4 girls and 6 guys so it will be like a hangout and no adults just a friend of mine organized it. anyways he sent me a message asking how many of us there werw because he is helping my friend organize. I am wondering if I would be his type, I don’t really know his preferences or anything much about him but I don’t think I have the strongest looks, im pretty fit but I dont have that stunning beauty yk, many people have said im the funniest person they have ever met but im wondering if this kind of guys just go on about beauty and like shy girls or could he be melted by my stupid jokes i guess? just need some advice cause some men prefer like more feminine and shy girlies idk how to play my cards help please

Basically I’m 20M and I just don’t understand how to get a girlfriend or even meet a girl for a one night stand I just don’t get it. I’m 20, single, never had a girlfriend before, still a virgin, never had any real connection with a girl before and i just don’t understand what to do anymore.

I’m not ugly but I’m not attractive either so I’m stuck in the middle of being too ugly for most girls but also not ugly enough for ugly girls. I go gym, maintain good hygiene, make myself as good looking as possible, and naturally sort of funny and lively (maybe 😅)

I just don’t understand how to get a girlfriend or even a girl for a one night stand, it just makes no sense, your told not to approach women anymore, well then what are you supposed to do. You’re told to be nice and respectful but here does that ever work, guys who show some arrogance, bit of lack of interest, and borderline rude seem to always have a better chance of getting a girl than guys who are nice. But then you run the risk of it not being taken the right way and who knows would that could lead to so it just makes no sense.

You’re told not to ask girls out in a creepy or weird way, but essentially what that means is attractive guy = not creepy, ugly guy = creepy, both could say and act the same way but it’s totally dependent on your appearance and I don’t have that advantage so what are you supposed to do.

How are you supposed to initiate something intimate with a girl, like there’s so much risk with doing it. Asking a girl out and simply because I’m not attractive enough being seen as creepy. If I have a connection with a girl how are you supposed to read her signals, and what if you misread them and get it wrong like it just makes no sense. And then people always say well if you misread them just be polite and accept the rejection, well then girls will say they want guys to try harder, or people will say you need to keep trying and “the art of the chase” the women. So wtf are you supposed to do. It essential just demonises you for asking a girl out and everyone just assumes you’re a bad person by saying be polite about rejection.

I’ve asked out 3 girls before and been rejected by all 3, I haven’t asked a girl out for 4 years because there just isn’t any point in know I’ll be rejected based on previous experiences, and it makes no sense how your supposed to ask girls out or make a connection with a girl. Like wtf are you supposed to do now, it just makes no sense anymore. I just can’t see myself getting a girlfriend for years and I already live a very lonely life in that regard. Like I just want to be with someone and some sort of connection with anyone and I just don’t understand how.

Most of the time I meet women that regardless of If I have a thing for them or not. This often comes from friends, or women I end up talking to in a passerby situation, sometimes Women I am trying to ask out.

"Screw People Dating isn't worth it."

"You'll Find Somebody Someday."

"Women, suck, don't Bother with them."

Keep in mind I don't say this but many women I meet say this about dating in general.

Its so Negative and Imo it feels like a indirect way to tell me that I'm straight Up undateable. I hear that stuff all the time especially as Im trying to get my confidence in myself up and it just feels like a strong Kick down.

​

There’s a guy at my gym who I’ve (F 34) been noticing for a while, and I’m trying to figure out how to interpret the situation.

The first time it happened, I had just walked into the gym and I suddenly felt someone looking at me. At first I thought it was probably nothing, or that he was looking somewhere else. Then I caught him looking at me again later.

Over the following weeks, I started noticing a pattern. I would catch him looking at me in the weight area, sometimes from his own workout area, and also when I was arriving or leaving the gym.

The important thing is that I didn’t start looking at him first. I initially wasn't paying particular attention to him. I only started noticing him because I kept catching him looking at me.

Eventually I obviously became curious and started noticing him more too. 😅

There have been quite a few moments of eye contact since then. Sometimes I’ll look up and he’s already looking at me. Sometimes we make eye contact and neither of us immediately looks away. He doesn’t smile at me, though. His expression is usually pretty neutral.

He’s quite social with his friends at the gym and I’ve seen him laughing and talking with them, so he’s not generally expressionless or antisocial.

We have literally never spoken. I don’t know his name, whether he’s single, or anything about him.

At one point I tried getting a little closer to him while using a machine, and afterwards I stopped noticing him in the weight area for a while, which made me wonder if maybe I had made him uncomfortable. But later the eye contact started happening again.

Recently there have been even more little moments where I catch him looking at me, including when I’m leaving the gym.

I’m not planning to approach him. I’m way too shy for that 😂. I’m mostly curious about how other people would interpret this.

Do you think he’s probably attracted to me / interested in some way, or could there be another explanation?

And if you’re a guy, I’d especially like to hear why you might repeatedly look at a woman at the gym without ever approaching her.

Is there such a thing as soul connection?
I haven’t even physically connected with someone or even dated him, but I cannot rid of this strong feeling about him.

I'm talking with a guy and he said that when he drank he had a playful fight with bestfriend and fell, also, said that he spends impulsively and drinks energy drinks. Are these actual red flags?

What is something a guy does that just makes you go weak at the knees?

Share your story on how you met your partner. I’ve never dated anyone in my life and am kind of lost on how to find and approach people romantically. Tell me where you met them, how old you were at the time, who approached who, if you approached how did you approach? Thanks for helping out us singles 😭

So there’s this girl who I have a crush on. She lives close to me, we’ve never met or interacted but we have a lot of mutuals and we both follow each other for over a year or so. We’re both private accounts if that matters so she followed me back. Recently I saw her on Hinge and I’m wondering if I should DM her? She’s a good looking girl so if I liked her profile there’s a chance I’d get lost in her likes and she’ll never see me.

Would it be weird or creepy if I text her saying something like “Hey, hope this isn’t too weird but I recognised you on Hinge and thought I’d text you here, I think you’re very attractive and I’d like to get to know you over a coffee or a drink” or something like that. I also didn’t like her on Hinge I just ignored her.

If it’s weird that’s okay I won’t do it I’d just rather know, if it’s not creepy and you think I should do you have any better ways to do it or a better text to send?

Thanks in advance.

Is it weird wanting to buy a lingerie set for yourself if you are single?

Today I accepted the fact that we weren’t meant to be. He is M/27 i am F/28. I realized our goals and priorities aren’t aligned and I was forcing something that wasn’t there. He’d rather party and hang out at the bar or with his friends and I’d rather have quality time and talk about our future and being better. I realized he wanted fun and not an actual relationship. Accepting it gave me a bit of relief but letting go hurts.

Why is it that men will chase and chase get what they want and do a complete 360?
How do you let go of someone you know isn’t good for you?
Deep down did I know we were not compatible?

I want to send that long paragraph but I heard no contact is a start. I tried so hard but trying only seemed to push him away.

How do I move forward?

My fiancé passed away earlier this year after 7 years together since I was 18 so I never really tried dating. I met a guy I was super into on a dating app. First date he planned everything and drove an hour to meet me. We hiked and had coffee everything was good. Second date I drove to see him and we went climbing, shopped together, made food, and worked on his current car project. It lasted 8 hours and was super fun. We shared a kiss. Third date I go over after work to his place again to work on that project, he says I’m free to bring my dog and stay over anytime, so I’m like cool this is progressing. 4th date he drives to my place, helps me with my home project, we get lunch, then things get heated but we don’t full on have sex. He invited me to his place for the rest of the day and told me to pack a bag. So we spend the rest of the day together and cook dinner, then at night we end up sleeping together. What was weird is he never once tried to cuddle, get intimate etc. besides sex. He actually put a body pillow on top of him after and cuddled that…

The next morning we eat breakfast, I go home and ask what he is looking for since he had mentioned kids and marriage and even asked me how many kids I wanted. He said he’s struggling with intimacy after he had a traumatic end to his last relationship which was under a year long and ended back in February. He basically said he keeps trying to open up and gets reminded he is not ready and said I probably can’t give you what you want but I enjoy your company.

I proposed we see each other without the pressure on intimacy since we had all of these projects we were working on together and he said yes he’d be down for that. Since that convo though it’s been a few days and he has not asked to see me again, whereas before he would immediately plan it. He has sent me pictures of the project we were working on and that’s about it.

So I’m wondering - did I get played for sex and he’s trying to let me down easy? Why introduce me to his roommates / talk about future plans etc? Or was the sex just that bad? I’ve never had casual sex and he’s the only person I’ve slept with besides my fiance.

Personally, I’m (35M) not a fan.

I joined a bachata class two years back because I was invited by a friend who happened to be the instructor.

Gave it a try, kept an open mind, did three sessions, and ultimately decided it wasn’t for me.

Could I do it if I put effort? Sure.

Was it something I genuinely wanted to do and invest more time in? No.

No, I didn’t go to meet women. There were quite a number of attractive girls in the class but problem is none were my type personality wise.

I have always been a homebody type who loves routine things: get up, go to work, eat, gym and sleep.

My interests are trite like travel, sports, electronic gadgets, and craft beer. And that’s okay for me.

How do I meet women? I have no idea. 🤷🏻‍♂️

I mostly relied on my peers back in college.

Hello everyone! I recently started talking to a guy I was connected with, and it’s been about two weeks now. So far, our conversations have been really good! We haven’t talked too much about relationships yet because we’re planning to have most of those conversations in person sometime soon.
Anyway, here’s where I need some advice: I feel like I’m already getting a little carried away. I find myself constantly checking my phone to see if he has texted or called. For example, I haven’t heard from him at all today, and my mind is already going crazy thinking that maybe he changed his mind or lost interest. I really don’t want to get into that mindset.
Honestly, I know I shouldn’t be doing this, but I can’t always help it. It’s exciting because I haven’t genuinely been excited about someone in a long time!
At the same time, I don’t want to come across as too available or “too easy.” My dating pool is already pretty small, and I’m the type of person who, if I like you, I LIKE you. I really don’t want to play the long game or pretend I’m not interested when I am.
So please give me some advice: How do I take my mind off of him? I don’t want to come across as desperate or overly available, but I also want him to know that I’m interested and open to getting to know him. Most importantly, I don’t want to spend my days waiting for his texts or calls or feeling disappointed when I don’t hear from him.
And I know this probably sounds a little ridiculous because we’ve literally only been talking for TWO WEEKS! But I’m genuinely trying to keep myself grounded because I don’t want my excitement to turn into anxiety or overthinking.
What do I do? 😭

​

So, this whole situationship/talking stage with this girl has been going on for quite some time. We’ve known each other for a long time, and for the past few days, we had this little ritual of staying on a video call at night until we fell asleep. Everything was going pretty well.

Then she went back home because she normally stays in a PG and I live on rent in the same city. While she was at home, she told me that she had been talking to a guy on Instagram. I don’t use Instagram, so I didn’t really think much of it. I was completely fine with it because, honestly, I don’t have a problem with her talking to someone else. My only boundary is that I don’t accept cheating or anything that falls under that.

So I just assumed it was probably casual, like normal texting, saying hello, talking here and there. I didn’t pay much attention to it.

But today, I called her like I normally do. She picked up, and everything seemed normal. She was working on one of her college assignments while we were talking. Then she started playing a song cover. At first, I thought she had just put on some random song, but then I noticed that it was actually a song cover.

That immediately reminded me that the guy from Instagram apparently sends her his own song covers. It felt a little strange to me, but I ignored that first red flag.

Then I noticed she was looking at her phone and smiling. Obviously, I know she is completely free to use her phone however she wants. She can text whoever she wants, look at whatever she wants, smile at whatever she wants—I’m nobody to tell her what she can or cannot do, and I completely understand that.

But then I’m pretty sure I heard her talking to someone on a video call.

After that, she talked to me for a few more minutes and then told me that I should go to sleep because she needed to charge her phone, so she wouldn’t be able to stay on the call with me throughout the night.

Now, I understand that there could genuinely be a reason for that. She’s going to her grandmother’s house tomorrow, so obviously she needs her phone charged, and maybe there isn’t an extension socket there or something. I can understand that.

But still, the doubt has started creeping into my mind because earlier, none of these things seemed to be a problem. We used to stay on call almost every night without this kind of issue.

And I know this is a situationship. She isn’t committed to me, and she isn’t technically obligated to talk to me or explain everything she does. I completely understand that.

But at the same time, if she is talking to someone else in a way that changes the dynamic between us, I would rather she just tell me. I’m not going to control her or tell her who she can talk to. I just want to know where I stand so that I can set my own boundaries accordingly.

So I’d genuinely like to know what you think about the whole situation and whether I’m overthinking this or if my doubts are actually reasonable.

​

Does an LDR rlly need calls and FaceTime? And how do you move from texting to that?

I'm F(22) and my bf is M(30). We've been dating for almost a year and we've been friends for 2 years, so all these 3 years we've only been texting. Ofc we see each other through pics, but we've never called or FaceTimed.

I'm an introvert myself and I don't really talk on the phone much in real life or FaceTime, and I never asked him to do that. But what makes me think about it now is that he never asked me either.

He only asked me once when we were friends if he could call me to tell me about something, and I told him I prefer texting for now. But since we've been dating, he never brought it up again.

Plus, he never showed me his full face. He always hides the part that shows his nose and mouth. I kinda feel guilty that I didn't bring it up before because he has seen my full face.

Our connection is rlly good tho. We talk every day about everything and we don't fight all the time.

Now that you know how my relationship is going, what do you think about it? And how could I improve it?

I’m a NBSB girl in my late 20s, and honestly, I’m starting to wonder if love is still worth the risk.

All my life, people have called me picky. “You’re too choosy.” “You have such high standards.” “You’ll never find anyone if you keep being like that.”

But the truth is, I don’t think I’m picky. I’m scared.

I’m scared of giving someone my time, trust, and eventually my whole heart, only for them to leave when things get difficult. Looking at relationships nowadays, it feels like people can leave so easily. Some seem to only want something physical, and commitment feels harder and harder to find.

Maybe I’m just seeing too much of the bad side of relationships, but sometimes I wonder if staying single is actually safer than taking that chance.

At the same time, I don’t want fear to be the reason I never experience love. I want to know what it feels like to be chosen, loved, and cared for by someone who genuinely wants to stay.

So for those who are also NBSB/NGSB and already in your late 20s or beyond, did you ever feel this way?

Did you eventually take the risk and let someone in? Was it worth it?

I’d really love to hear from people who can genuinely relate.

Myself and this girl are in our mid-twenties. I’ve had a crush on her for a couple of months, and I only get to see her once a week during our adult sports league. About 2 weeks back, I requested to follow her on Instagram and now we both follow each other. Since then, we’ve messaged each other a bit and I’m not sure where we stand or what I should expect and continue hoping for.

—

Me, Aug 22 8:30am: “[Name]!! Hi! You seem really cool and I’ve honestly wanted to talk to you more I’ve just been a bit shy 😅 I’d love to get to know you better if you’d like to grab a drink or sit by the lake sometime soon :)”

Her, Aug 23 5:50pm (before our class): “Hi! Great job at the game the other day! Sure, happy to grab a drink or smthing - sort of busy this week but maybe next weekend or next week?”

Me, Aug 23 11:20pm: “Ahh awesome! I’d love that :) thanks! You played really well too I thought your skating and positioning were really good! My week is also a bit chaotic but I’m pretty flexible next weekend/next week. Would next Friday work for you?”

She read it that night, didn’t respond, and the following morning I wanted to clarify.

Me, Aug 24 7am: “just to clarify, I meant this Friday the 28th!”

She didn’t open the message during the week and responded to me Friday evening

Her, Aug 28th 6pm: “hi omg i'm so so so so sorry did NOT mean to flake, I'm having a crazy week. Mind if we raincheck? Obv this is like the latest ever notice I'm the worst”

Me, Aug 28 6:30pm: “Hahah you’re fine! You did say you’d be busy this week 😅 yes the raincheck totally works for me but you’ve gotta buy the first round now ;) also feel free to text me anytime if it’s easier [number]”

Currently Tuesday, but she hasn’t opened it yet.

—

So that’s where we’re currently at. We did see each other and talk in a group at the bar after class this past Sunday, but I didn’t want to mention the message or anything. Thought maybe she would say something if she wanted to, but also don’t know if we ever had a moment to ourselves to do so. Her apology seemed genuine and consistent with her first message about being busy, but I know many people also like to immediately take this as a sign of rejection and forget about it

Is it weird to casually (and in a non-accusatory way) mention the raincheck/her apology in person next time we see each other?