like growing up for decades I have always heard from people of a certain hue that “we have live in a color blind society!”

“I don’t see color!”

”I don’t care if you are white, black, yellow, green, pink etc etc”

blah blah blah.

if people didn’t truly care about race and didn’t ”see it”

How do racial preferences exist? you don’t care about the color of your friend, boss, neighbor and can’t “see it” BUT you can suddenly see it when it comes to dating?

doesn’t make sense.

lets wake up the conversation.

I want to preface this by saying these are just observations I've made, so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

I've seen quite a few posts on this sub where people talk about their partners saying bad things about Black people, and they're very rightfully called racist or narrow minded for judging an entire group based on stereotypes

But whenever White supremacists or other people trying to justify racism bring up things like crime statistics or violence in Black-majority areas, is it fair to reduce an entire group of people to statistics like that and just blame them for it? No, right?

But I don't really see that same logic being applied to Indian/South Asian men.

I've seen quite a few posts about Indian women where people say they're beautiful, but ultimately it comes down to personal preference and many people would love to date one. That's completely fair!! I'm not trying to be misogynistic here at all.

But when it comes to Indian men, I often see people say they'd never date one because Indian families are too patriarchal or misogynistic, the guy would always choose his family over his partner, or he'd eventually go back to India and get an arranged marriage.

And I don't disagree that these things happen. They absolutely may and do happen. It's just a little sad seeing all Indian men get put into that same box.

India has around 1.4 billion people, and obviously they're not all going to have the same values, personalities, families or views on relationships. So I don't think it's fair to automatically assume an Indian man will behave a certain way simply because he's Indian.

All of this said, I completely agree that someone can just not have Indian men as their dating preference. That's personal choice. And just to clarify, when I say Indian men here, I'm also talking about South Asian men in general.

I also want to add that I'm not trying to hide or wash away the very real problems India has when it comes to women's safety and gender inequality. I'm just sharing my two cents on the whole generalizing thing.

Am I off here? I'd genuinely like to hear what you guys think :)

Almost 2 years with the beauty. I’m a lucky MF.

This is just something I’ve been genuinely curious about 😊

For men who are dating, have dated, or are attracted to Indian women: what is it that you personally find especially attractive?

It can be physical features, personality, style, culture, family values, confidence - literally anything.
I’m especially curious to hear from men from different cultural backgrounds and what initially caught your attention vs. what you came to appreciate once you actually dated an Indian woman.

Obviously Indian women aren’t a monolith, so I’m not trying to generalize - I’m just curious about your personal experiences and preferences :)

I'm a 20F Black woman and my boyfriend is 21M South Asian.
He asked me to send him some buzz cut inspiration, specifically guys with beards. I sent him a picture of a guy with a pretty normal buzz cut and a lineup.
He replied, "'mao wtf."
I said, "what?"
He then said, ''Il look like I'm in a gang." I was confused and said "what?". Instead of just leaving it at that, he clarified/doubled down and said the haircut would make him look like a "hood gangster."
The haircut was literally just a buzz cut with a lineup. There wasn't anything particularly extreme about it.
I'm Black, and lineups/low cuts are extremely common hairstyles among Black men. The phrase "hood gangster" specifically made me uncomfortable because of the stereotypes surrounding Black men, Black hairstyles, and criminality.
i'm sort of looking at him different already and its only been like 30 minutes and honestly feel uncomfortable around him now...
His parents are extremely racist toward Black people. (it wasnt a shock to me because i also have racist parents to in the sense they don't believe in interracial relationships or
"mixing"/"ruining ur genetics or bloodline" (ik gross) its been 2 years and they still dislike me because I'm Black, and even now they still don't like me. (he has no friends that are outside his race at all and i kinda feel like he only considered dating me because i don't fit the stereotypical
"black girl" even though he says he has no type none of the women i've seen him be attracted to are black and are either south asian or white)

I am African and it’s my first relationship with a European Lady, she keeps saying we don’t talk about our love and I really don’t know what that means. Like, is that a thing? I really have nothing to say.

My story's pretty basic but heartwarming, I think:

- 19 year-old British kid in university.

- Connect with a random girl on our university's freshers page.

- Turns out she's an international student from Bangladesh.

- Meet her in real life for the first time, absolutely stunned by her.

- Ask her on a date like 2 weeks later.

- Somehow lasts until graduation. She's gotta leave soon if she doesn’t get sponsored.

- I ask to marry her so she can stay. Somehow I get a yes.

- 7 years later, still married with 2 kids.

As the title says. Sometimes living in Asia, especially East Asia, can be a unique and...enlightening lol... experience as a BW. Looking to connect with other ladies who are going through this experience, or have done so in the past, as the community around me is small.

Feel free to share crazy stories, advice, reflections etc. below!

Beautiful, playful and completely at ease in Uganda. I’m happiest exactly where I am - wrapped around my wife and quietly under her spell. 🖤❤️

Kiddo on a separate vacation with her Aunt, that means the parents get a few nights out in Vegas. Definitely enjoyed our night time in the desert. 🌶️😈

so, my dad is against me dating outside of my race and absolutely hates my bf for his white skin no matter how much he denies it, he always talks about it and a huge narc so he always says something bad about him to try to get a rise out of me. always saying that him and his bloodline are never supposed to mix with mine. how do you constantly try to deal with that? i’m sick of hearing it. should i break up with him so that i stop hearing it?

Hi.. by the title you can tell I am a curious fellow.. I would like to know what the non black women on here make of black men.. Oh I mean black African men by the way and not the none African black people.. What do you make of dating partners from Africa. I would like to know.. I am aware that the women here don't represent all women.. I am just curious..

Also would you date someone from Africa..

If not why? And please this is a grown up discussion... nothing will be treated as racist.. it is how you feel personally.. after all we all have a little racism in us if we were bieng honest... What do you like or don't like about African men...

Lastly, what would you want African men to know about getting your attention or standing a chance at dating you...

Doesn't have to speak for your whole race...maybe you at a personal level...

I’m a Black woman that’s currently in a flirtation with a white man. Based on pattern recognition, vibes and my intuition, he will most likely be asking me out soon. However, I’m going to need to ask him about his political views to ensure that we’re aligned and share the same values and ethics. Unfortunately, as you all know, him being interested in Black women doesn’t automatically make him an ally.

I will talk to him about this regardless, I’m just curious how others have gone about this and what your experiences have been like. How does the conversation usually go? When does it take place? How is the topic brought up? Are you just outright asking who they voted for, or is the information offered up without you needing to bring it up? I have zero interest in pursuing a connection or intimacy if we’re not aligned, so in an attempt to not waste anyone’s time, I have to know their views.

If this was an online thing I’d probably just outright ask during messaging or on the app, but I met this person IRL.

Hoping to read about others’ experiences.

TIA for sharing!

22m black here. I'm going to give up on this woman I've been talking to. She used to seem rather interested in me. I got her number and we talk a decent bit but I am always the one initiating. She never texts me first, she never calls me, she never asks how I'm doing, and worst of all she never makes time for me. She always finds some vague excuse not to meet up or date.

I just sent her a text with a concrete date request. I did not tell her this, but if she makes another vague excuse not to date I will assume she is not interested for whatever reason ane start looking elsewhere. It's actually diabolical how she rejectes 3 dudes for me (yes she did), and then doesn't communicate about anything. How are you going to get my number, treat me like you like me early on, and then refuse to go out yet "insist" you want to go out with me later. Been 3 weeks of vague excuses. Just sounds like she likes the attention and not me.

I get all of you guys are gonna be like "don't give up on dating women will like you" but honestly after so many rejections, so much fake interest, constant ghosting, and the increasing hatred towards men from women in my age group I'm not holding my breath. If a woman wants me she's gonna need to prove it. I can't keep being the one taking the initiative if ladies don't want to put in any effort themselves. It's one thing if they aren't interested and tell me outright but SO many women just love having me around as their backup. I know its because I'm black and we get fetishized as FWBs a lot. I'm looking for a wife I'm not trying to be a third wheel.

Hi. I know there are people out there who experience this. How did you recognize it? Did/do you feel guilty? How did you deal with this? Did you do some sort of exposure therapy?

I’m a black woman dating a white man and it’s getting serious and I can’t help but notice the stares when we walk around in public holding hands…..from everyone. People turn their heads to look at us. Now I’m no stranger to being stared at in public for my looks (I’m very self aware) but I know the reason we get these stares. When I was 17 (26 now) I got asked on a date by a white boy and that was the first time I noticed “the stares”. Some of these stares look disgusted, some of these stares look fascinated, some of these stares look in awe. I wonder if he notices it too. I can’t help but wonder if people feel so many feelings towards it, if I ever have kids with someone outside of my race, what will happen to them? These are things I think about sometimes. When I was in school kids were extremely PC and liberal and it seems like now racism is getting worse and more open in America. These are things we talk about openly sometimes.