r/kitchencels Feb 03 '26

official twitter location now serving twitterslop

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146 Upvotes

someone reached out to the mod team and informed us some repost account snagged the @ for kitchencels and was using their checkmark to earn elonbuxx off our beloved community

we didn't exactly want to just run our own repost account, the community aspect is more important we felt, so as the only mod that has an active twitter i was bullied into starting a subtweddit to A, hopefully redirect some of the twitter tourists lurking here (yes, you) so they stop shitting up the place, B, provide some insurance for the downtrodden chuddies in case reddit ever decides to come for us, and C, a sinister third reason privy only to the elites of the kitchencel khanate

elon is allegedly free speech so you can probably post some of those things we've had to reject out of obligatory janny responsibilities

we don't really know if this will turn out funny or worthwhile and we may just pull the plug if it ends up not being worth our time

the chefs are in the kitchen, trust the recipe

enjoy the rest of your meal, chuddies


r/kitchencels Aug 06 '25

GET IN THE FUCKING KITCHEN YOU INSUFFERABLE MAGGOTS

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2.3k Upvotes

GET IN THE KITCHEN

GET IN FUCKING KITCHEN AND COOK LIKE YOUR GOD DAMN LIFE DEPENDS ON IT

IF YOU AREN'T COOKING YOU ARE NOTHING

THIS IS YOUR ONLY HOPE OF SALVATION, THIS IS YOUR ABSOLUTION

YOU ARE ALL PATHETIC, START COOKING


r/kitchencels 1d ago

Cucked on disc call

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1.0k Upvotes

Hb added random girl while after I called him, and for the entirety two hours of cooking and eating they completely ignored me and spoke of sweet fantasies to each other. I was not only too encapsulated by their words, but also too aroused to leave. Spahget w a butter cream sauce.


r/kitchencels 1d ago

Platemogging Foids will Tell you " Men only want sex " But you will meet 100 virgin men before you meet one virgin Foid. It's so funny isn't it? Noodles with Roasted Veggies and Diet Coke.

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2.0k Upvotes

r/kitchencels 1d ago

Platemogging My friend's sister called me a weirdo and told him not to invite me to her birthday. Marroc

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542 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 1d ago

Takeoutmaxxed To the people saying “people will forget” on my last post, my sports team is currently trying to kick me out of the team. I still don’t know what I said, and I’m still not a racist. Honestly I like my sport so much and my life is so over I might js rope if I get kicked off. Taco Bell.

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223 Upvotes

Quesadilla and crunchy taco with nacho fries and Baja blast


r/kitchencels 21h ago

Did some pushups for Andrew Tate. He DM'd me and call me a beta. Three course meal.

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2 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 2d ago

Platemogged Showed my mom one of my platters and she asked me who I was eating them with. Little does she know nobody has ever sat with her good for nothing son at this table. I had violent diarrhea today day because my gluttonous fat ass ate McDonald’s for breakfast.

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734 Upvotes

Rules:
-Nobody gets to call this a tik tok meal
-Nobody gets to call me a larper

I don’t have contact with anyone in my family except my mom calls me sometimes. Since people told me here that my platters look nice I decided to show her one to maybe impress her. Somehow I still always disappoint her.
I have spent my whole life chasing for her to love me and be proud of me, but I think it is for the best we keep our contact to a minimum and I need to give up trying to be someone I can never be for her I already lost that battle at birth.
I hate disappointing people all the time I hate that I can’t do anything I hate that im so lazy. Even If i got a second chance in life i would still mess it ip


r/kitchencels 2d ago

Why do they always say "height doesn't matter" immediately followed by "it just so happens my bf is 6'4". Steak rolls.

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1.1k Upvotes

I lowkey don't get it, like we all know height matters, why lie?

EDIT: The amount of comments from women should tell you all you need to know about this matter, my fellow truecels, they do not like you one bit, it's all about your height, if you were tall and hot women would throw themselves at you regardless of your personality

EDIT: Women, I speak to you with my heart in my hand, it is OKAY, TOTALLY FINE, to have a height preference, nobody has to give you permission to date tall men, it is not discrimination and it is not shallow, it's not your fault you're attracted to them and you should NOT be ashamed of it, just please, I beg you, stop lying about it, stop inventing excuses that tall boyfriends just fall into your lap and admit that you do like tall men, IT'S FINE, you can have the preference, everyone has preferences, this one is no different just please, stop lying about it, it is the only thing I ask of you.

EDIT: Even here the amount of women just saying "oh that's not true, my last boyfriend was actually 5'4 and I really was attracted to him I pinky promise that 🥺"

Not like we have countless data and research showing that women consistently lie about what they find attractive. Or that revealed women's behavior shows them choosing men who are 21cm taller than themselves, ON AVERAGE. None of that matters, I guess what women say about what they like is absolute truth, disregard the research that shows women lie or just don't know what they're attracted to.


r/kitchencels 19h ago

After a month of the worst depressive episode of my life, days are starting to look a bit better.

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2 Upvotes

The sun is out, the air feels fresh in a way it hasn’t in weeks, I feel something almost resembling positivity, maybe my friends and family weren’t lying when they said it gets betters.


r/kitchencels 1d ago

I think I genuinely have a problem and love my anime waifu more than I could love any real woman, I act like it’s all a joke but at the end of the day I fantasize about us often and care about her like a real girlfriend. Gluten free sandwich.

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216 Upvotes

Also I know this sounds like a slop post joke but im genuinely being deadass here, I collect her figures and play the games shes in and have two body pillows because she’s genuinely an awesome cool ass character too.


r/kitchencels 1d ago

Feeling extra lonely lately, made butter chicken with rice to fill the emptiness inside me.

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149 Upvotes

21, fat lol, gamer, office worker and from Australia so extra extra isolated. Fun times.


r/kitchencels 17h ago

I found a flash animation of princess peach paizuri on new grounds and that awoken my sexuality and now I wish a man with a big belly would titfuck me but I can't afford breast implants so here two papais over curry because the rice in my fridge wasn't enough and Japanese rice takes too long I'll so

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1 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 1d ago

I apparently have qualities that get women interested, but I have 0 personality so I eventually get ghosted.

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3 Upvotes

38 years old and never been in a relationship, I'm a lot more interesting when I'm drinking I guess.

A spread reminding me of my days in rehab.


r/kitchencels 22h ago

Being a hopeless romantic incel sucks (soya curry)

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2 Upvotes

I shouldn't even think of a female woman as an Asian, neet, incel. I know women will be disgusted by me.

And to be a "pure incel" is to not simp after females. ✅

I wish I was consumed by a powerful woman for once 🫩


r/kitchencels 1d ago

My debt has ruined everything. In worst phase of my life

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172 Upvotes

So idk where do i even began, i am 10 hours into my night shift and 2 hours to go

So sometime back i posted here how findom debts ruined my life. Basically i got addicted to findom and fucking hell i took so many loans to pay to random girls to abuse me, sometimes their bfs too.

Currently i earn abour 300 dollars in India and i have debt of about 3000 dollars.

AlI my salaries go into loans and i have to take loans just to survive like a beggar Plus the job is fucking frustrating, idk why its so hard. Have to give 11 hours daily for this and all the salary goes to loans. Cant even enjoy anything with the labour i do

I know i made a big mistake but its so hard now. Im so done with this man i just wanna get it done with

I am worthless atp, i have so many responsibilities towards my families but instead i ask them for money

Today i tried hurting self for first time, it felt warm but painful

Wierd

I dont have anywhere else to say this i havent shared this with anyone in my life so sharing here

I just hope it gets better i wanna feel relieved again idk why i even have hope

Mutton curry btw. It may look to spicy but it was pretty nice with rice


r/kitchencels 2d ago

Prawns. being neurodivergent while at school ruined my life.

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254 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 18h ago

Lofe will eventually get better, stay hopeful. A entier cucumber.

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0 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 1d ago

I'll be getting 5 star on gta just to feel wanted

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79 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 1d ago

My friend who's in a relationship just told me to focus on my hobbies and "that it's not a big deal to not be together with someone"

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2 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 23h ago

I frequently fantasize about being beaten by an older muscular woman. I want to be normal. Gluten free dairy free veggie pizza

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1 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 2d ago

Think I got a testosterone spike or something, even dudes are starting to look attractive. This isn't gay it's a matter of dominance. homemade ham and chess pizza.

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274 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 2d ago

Platemogging It gets a bit harder each morning to get up. Shrimp and tomato pasta

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134 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 1d ago

Platemogging I respect and love Jerry Smith from Rick and Morty and he's literally me I need the Beth to my Jerry

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67 Upvotes

Jerry was always my favorite character from Rick and Morty and he's just so relatable. He's an unemployed bum who's family thinks little of him. He's also so friendly and happy. I always liked the episodes of him and Rick together, or any character really. Whenever Jerry appeared, it always livened up the episode. I need a Beth to my Jerry, just a calm, grounded foid to match my goofy side. Also, if we were to go to the mytholog, I want to have the same outcome they had in the episode.