r/mildlyinfuriating • u/marcus_dobre_lover • 18h ago

I just wanted a hot dog Mom bought 150 lemons.

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She randomly comes back with a butt load of food items once in a while

Any lemon recipe suggestions

\she’s 44, for people asking her age\.

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u/Jesus__Skywalker 5h ago

on the weekends I take care of a quadriplegic guy. He has a brain injury and for the most part he's just normal. But he can get stuck on a topic and repeat alot. And he's got this weird quirk that when he thinks of something he may need to buy he'll buy crazy quantities. He had a pair of scissors go missing (I think they ended up being found) and he ordered 26 pairs of scissors (some were in packs). He goes through 15 enemas in a month. The other day he asked me how many he had left and I told him 45 (3 months worth). And he said "ohhh, I'm kinda low" and he proceded to order THREE YEARS WORTH of enemas.

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u/Jesus__Skywalker 5h ago

has nothing to do with anything, but if anyone wants another funny story with this guy. Here ya go.

One of his other quirks is that he watches movies all day every day (or shows that he has boxed sets of). He pulls all of his movies out in themes. Like he watched all of the marvel movies in timeline chronilogical order, he'll watch a whole series of a show, or sometimes he'll watch all the movies of one actor.

On the day for this story it was Wesley Snipes day. And I'm down for that. Sounds good to me, I can watch some blade, some new jack city, white men can't jump. Etc. But what you dont' factor in is that Wesley Snipes has been in a lot of HORRIBLE movies. And the movie we ended up watching is called FutureSport. And the premise of this dumpster fire is that sometime in the future, the most popular sport in the world is this conglomeration of skateboarding, roller derby and skeeball, they have a hoverboard and can pass this skeeball around and try to throw it in a little hole. It's like quittage but super dumb. And there is a war going on between two factions over the "territory of hawaii". And there is a proposal to have a futuresport match where the winner gets Hawaii. And yes, it is every bit as horrible as that sounds. It is either the worst, or second worst movie I've ever seen (congo, but for movie and personal reasons). But anyway we sat there watching this movie. And in the middle of it he had to leave to his room to cath. I could do it for him faster. But he prefers to do it bc it's therapy for his hands. This guy doesn't like you to stop his movies or touch his phone. So I'm just sitting there watching this pos while he's in the back. And finally the movie ends and my dude comes back in. He wheels over to the bluray player AND STARTS THE MOVIE COMPLETELY OVER. Worst movie i've ever seen and I had to watch it twice back to back. Literally credits....restart. That was painful.

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u/TheSadSadist 3h ago

Ok that made me laugh.

That also reminded me of a story from when I was a kid. Whatever age 4th grade is. My brothers and I went through a phase where we would watch Rush Hour with Chris Tucker and Jacki Chan daily. Sometimes multiple times a day. On dvd or vhs. I don't remember.

We only had on TV at my dads house at the time and were changing channels and saw Rush Hour was on tv so we let it play. Commercials and all. 

You could tell me dads girlfriend was super annoyed and she wanted to watch something else. Loke halfway through the movie she says something like "boys why are you watching this on TV when we own it." And then my dad was like "shes right boys. Start it over on dvd."

And we were like "yay!"

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u/Jesus__Skywalker 2h ago

lol, yeah, but Rush Hour is good!

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u/RabbitUnique 1m ago

that poor lady lol

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u/Delicious-Leg-5441 11m ago

FutureSport sounds very much like Rollerball (1975). I just looked it up and the future in the movie is 2018. No Rollerball but corporations owning so much wealth they did get right.

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u/Jesus__Skywalker 1m ago

I remember Rollerball on cable back in the day. And I would say that the sport part of that is probably very similar. But I don't think rollerball would have gun fights that are decided by people remote controlling hoverboards.

And Wesley Snipes with the worst jamaican accent ever for 90 mins is pretty painful also.

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u/becooltheywatching 2h ago

I hate that I want to see this now lol

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u/Jesus__Skywalker 1h ago

futuresport? Oh dude, you should do it! This is the trailer for it, and it's so bad that they don't even put dialogue in it. And these are the best parts of the movie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ytq1sEZgWA0

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u/becooltheywatching 1h ago

Ok, I am going to watch it in solidarity homie. Lol

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u/Jesus__Skywalker 35m ago

please post back here when you do. I would LOVE to hear about that lol

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u/unposted 2h ago

To be fair, I think we've all experienced how fragile the medical supply chain can be. 3 years supply is peace of mind.

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u/Jesus__Skywalker 2h ago edited 2h ago

i mean it goes on lol he ordered like 12 huge bottles of listerine. I mean the bottles you would use to fill up smaller bottles. He ordered something like 20 packs of chips ahoy. He'll order a box set of movies and then order movies that come in that boxed set.I mean he has boxes and boxes of stuff in there that hasn't been opened. And I think there has to be things in there that he's forgotten. I'm absolutely sure he's ordered things that he didn't realize he already had. He's wild.

He also will occasionally send me to waffle house with an order for 3 or 4 meals, he'll eat one and put the rest in the fridge. When he sends me he will usually give me 500 dollars with the instructions written out and for the waffle house staff to split the balance between all of them. usually he tries to make sure they get 100 bucks each. Which is AWESOME. But if his bathroom trashcan is full on his non bowel care day and you wanna empty it. He'll say no, that can gets emptied on bowel care days only bc "I'm the one that's paying for those trash bags". He'll make you tap out every drop of an alcohol bottle (like rubbing alchohol, not liquor) for the same reason. Then tip 500 bucks to waffle house.

He has a 2013 corvette that he can't drive or even ride in bc he's too heavy for someone to be able to put him in the care like that. But his accident was in 97. And when I asked him how that can be he said that he had a corvette before his accident but his sister sold it to buy the van he needs for his chair. And it pissed him off so bad that one day he just bought a 2013 Corvette and it has 7k miles on it to this day bc it only moves about once every six months when he has someone drive it for him (I drove it last weekend and it was awesome)

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u/DudlyDjarbum 1h ago

Can I ask what the movie congo did to you?

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u/Asleep-Raspberry-819 1h ago

a lot is two words

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u/Jesus__Skywalker 35m ago

take care