I genuinely had to come here because I am FURIOUS.
And before anyone says “you can’t force someone to leave an abusive situation…” I KNOW. I understand that. I understand why victims minimize things, defend their abuser, say they’re fine, withdraw from people, etc. I’ve personally been close enough to a similar situation to understand how complicated it actually is from the inside.
BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN EVERYONE AROUND THEM HAS TO SIT ON THEIR HANDS.
That’s the part that drove me insane watching this.
At some point, when you’re watching someone deteriorate, become isolated, clearly not act like themselves, and there are enough red flags screaming in your face, “she says she’s fine” cannot be the end of the conversation.
I understand respecting someone’s autonomy. I understand that an adult is ultimately allowed to make their own decisions. But there is a MASSIVE difference between respecting someone’s choices and abandoning them to those choices when you have reason to believe they’re being manipulated or harmed.
I’m Indian/Asian and maybe this is partly a cultural difference, but my immediate reaction would have been:
“Nope. You’re coming with me. You can be angry at me later.”
😭
Call me intrusive. Call me dramatic. Whatever. If someone I loved was in that situation, I would rather have them furious with me for interfering than attend their funeral knowing I spent months telling myself “it’s their business.”
And THAT is what made me so angry watching this. There seemed to be so much of this passive “well, she’s an adult / it’s her marriage / she says she’s okay” attitude when sometimes loving someone means being persistent as FUCK.
Obviously, hindsight is 20/20 and there are things we as viewers know that people around her may not have known at the time. I’m not pretending intervention is simple or that families can magically rescue someone from an abusive relationship.
But goddamn. I just kept thinking: SOMEONE PLEASE FUCKING SHOW UP FOR THIS WOMAN.
Maybe I’m projecting because of my own experiences, but watching everyone essentially watch her suffer while maintaining this distance made me absolutely livid.
Am I insane for feeling this way?? 😭