r/nottheonion • u/Real_Suntan_Superman • 1d ago

Andrew Garfield wanted Michael B Jordan as Peter Parker’s male love interest in a wild Spider Man idea

https://tribune.com.pk/story/2626052/andrew-garfield-wanted-michael-b-jordan-as-peter-parkers-love-interest
4.8k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

274 comments sorted by

3.1k

u/DisturbingPragmatic 1d ago

So, in other words, Andrew Garfield would really love to make out with Michael B Jordan...

998

u/zennim 1d ago

And could anyone ever blame him for It?

396

u/DisturbingPragmatic 1d ago

Not me, that's for sure. Then again, I've been gay my entire life, so there's that.

135

u/aiiye 1d ago

I’m heteroflexible, pretty sure if Michael B Jordan took a pass at me, we would find out how flexible 😂

Dude is damn good looking, it’s unfair

30

u/veryverythrowaway 1d ago

I lean far more towards women than men, but I’d let either of these guys tear it up.

16

u/always_unplugged 21h ago

Might I propose a sandwich-type situation?

→ More replies (1)

40

u/taitaofgallala 1d ago

"we would find out how flexible"

😳 that only means one thing right?/padmé.jpeg

6

u/ScientistAsHero 22h ago

Andrew Garfield is no slouch in the looks department either. But his is more that "slightly dorky" attractiveness.

6

u/AspieAsshole 17h ago

I am entirely a lesbian, but not so much that I wouldn't make out with him just to be able to say I'd done it. I also dated a boy who looked just like a young Cary Elwes (which was how I proved to myself that I was 100% into girls, gosh he was pretty)

3

u/ozymandais13 19h ago

Idk if mbj is a real test of flexibility there

1

u/andizzzzi 17h ago

Good lord, I would faint on the spot 😂

16

u/PoweredByCarbs 1d ago

I mean, I’m straight and still would. It’s MBJ, y’all.

3

u/Uncles_Lotus_Tile 14h ago

Here to defend from the "got bad news bro" dudes. If it's Michael B Jordan it's not bad news.

33

u/FaceMcShootie 1d ago

As a life long straight guy, ya just cannot deny a hunk when you see one.

Or both in this case.

15

u/Lord__Abaddon 23h ago edited 23h ago

Never understood the "if a man say's another man is handsome or good looking it mean's he's gay.".. some guys are just damn good looking doesn't mean I want to fuck them but Damn it really is unfair sometimes.

8

u/Invexor 23h ago

I mean, if a man's good looking and willing I want to fuck them. Then again I am at least partially gay.

8

u/Lord__Abaddon 23h ago

Nothing wrong with being gay, I was more commenting on how insecure alot of men are that any hint of acknowledging another dude has his shit together is considered gay as if it was a slur.

13

u/SnooHesitations3709 1d ago

I'm not gay but he is a good looking man.

12

u/Irradiatedspoon 1d ago

You should start saying that without the clarification, it's quite freeing!

6

u/jackkerouac81 17h ago

I will not clarify that I am straight, but that is a good looking guy!

2

u/Montigue 1d ago

Yeah, Andrew literally asked for it

1

u/dingus_chonus 1d ago

You had a great opportunity to set someone up for the ol’ “hold it against him… please”

89

u/Run-Riot 1d ago

He wanted to make out with MJ.

Michael (B.) Jordan.

27

u/always_unplugged 21h ago

Dunno if you read the article or not, but that was literally his pitch! He basically said "MJ" is a totally plausible gender neutral name and wouldn't it be cool if this version of Peter Parker was in an interracial, homosexual relationship, maybe with someone named... Michael B Jordan...?

Tbh he wasn't wrong, I wish they'd gone for it 🙃

4

u/gayhotelultra 21h ago

im gonna be honest it took me a little bit to realize we're not talking about the retired basketball player

yes i know he doesnt have b as a middle initial...

2

u/Diz7 18h ago edited 17h ago

I mean if Superman has a thing dating L.L., Iron Man dates people who first name is P., the Flash is into P.S., Batman, S.K...

6

u/Shinjischneider 22h ago

...yeah... No... I get it

24

u/shogi_x 1d ago

Understandable 😂

3

u/Never-Bloomberg 1d ago

Upside down??

5

u/Astroglaid92 1d ago

Who? Wallace?!

5

u/pinkynarftroz 1d ago

If you have to do a gay love scene, might as well aim for the sexiest man alive.

2

u/Mediocre_Scott 1d ago

Michael b Jordan is electric

9

u/Rezart_KLD 1d ago

Nah, that was Jaime Fox

1

u/Mediocre_Scott 1d ago

Oh. I didn’t see that movie, and that headline makes even less sense

3

u/Rezart_KLD 1d ago

No, I think the article actually is talking about MBJ, I was just making a joke because you said electric

1

u/Mediocre_Scott 1d ago

I thought MBJ played Electro which is why I said he was electric

3

u/PepperAnn1inaMillion 23h ago

No, you might be confusing MBJ’s role in Fant4stic (I think he’s flame-boy or whatever the character name is).

2

u/pastadudde 13h ago

Human torch, but the character’s famous catch phrase is Flame On

2

u/boisenberrie 22h ago

And is he wrong? Hell no. Me too!!!

2

u/fictionallymarried 1d ago

Can you blame him? They're also both good actors, I'd watch

1

u/sneakysnek20r 22h ago

Your point being?

1

u/AGrandNewAdventure 22h ago

Yeah, feels like there are easier ways to go about this.

1

u/ubergeak 21h ago

dont forget the butt touching

1

u/SlendyIsBehindYou 19h ago

Michael B Jordan was legitimately responsible for my bisexual awakening, I dont think I could blame the man

1

u/xersylla 13h ago

I'd watch that

1

u/Dronk747 9h ago

I mean he already kissed Ryan Reynolds.

1

u/Adniwhack 7h ago

Well, its a different kind of MJ, even though there is a B in the middle….

1.2k

u/WhatTheBeansIsLife 1d ago

Bi-der Man

181

u/RPDRNick 1d ago

Not Far From Homo

62

u/userreddit 23h ago

Homocoming

61

u/CommentJunior9653 22h ago

Brand new gay

43

u/dGFisher 21h ago

No way, homo

79

u/Munkeyman18290 1d ago

Eye her man.

22

u/Bad_brazilian 1d ago

Spy her man.

41

u/Slotholotyl 23h ago

He swings both ways

6

u/the_great_zyzogg 23h ago

Does whoever a Bi-man can!

8

u/MistakesTasteGreat 19h ago

Spins a web, any size

Swingin' with the girls and guys

11

u/Mediocre_Scott 1d ago

Does whomever he thinks he can

8

u/chimpdoctor 1d ago

Thats just how deaf people pronounce it.

2

u/dwpea66 23h ago

Peter Parker but from Jackson Heights in Queens

Your Friendly Gayborhood Spider-Man

1

u/pastadudde 13h ago

*greenwich village

2

u/dwpea66 13h ago

Spidey is from Queens though

2

u/codexcdm 1d ago

Headpool.

1

u/martialar 21h ago

Peter Porkhim

389

u/Moonwalk27 1d ago

Andrew just ask him out

42

u/kentotoy98 21h ago

I also want to ask Michael B. Jordan out but my girlfriend lowkey want him too.

12

u/djpeeples 18h ago

Try asking him together?

3

u/galaxybuns 14h ago

Throuple trouble

385

u/Tsquared10 1d ago

Hey shoot for the moon. The worst they can say is no

45

u/saja25 1d ago

And land in the stars

21

u/Turdmeist 1d ago

I guess if you miss the moon and somehow shoot out of our solar system, sure.

7

u/TheCurls 1d ago

I think you missed a top tier pun

4

u/Turdmeist 1d ago

Ah... Didn't see those movies. Where am I? Take me home.

4

u/TheCurls 1d ago

Not a pun about the movies. It’s sexual innuendo.

2

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

→ More replies (1)

19

u/TheeAntelope 1d ago

Hate that saying lol. Do you know how well and truly fucked you are if you miss the moon and are headed for a star? The only star nearby is the fucking sun! Dead. And also if you are headed for even the CLOSETS other star? Proxima Centauri - 4 light years away (it would take us 80,000 years to get there as is with our current tech).

5

u/ComradeJohnS 1d ago

on earth is still among the stars, depending on your perspective.

8

u/croutonballs 1d ago

okay neil de grasse tyson

7

u/TheeAntelope 1d ago

thanks for the shout-out, be sure to come see me at the Filmore on Oct 6!

4

u/surfinsalsa 1d ago

"Upside down kiss, a playful glance from across the room...

Oh, it's a movie by the way. Spiderman, why not."

3

u/Momoselfie 23h ago

Looks like they did say no and hired a new actor

514

u/Suspicious-Whippet 1d ago

I mean if Spider-man changed teams he could hardly do better than Michael B Jordan. Good choice.

85

u/thresh_to_death 1d ago

Wouldn't it mean Michael b Jordans clock start ticking

25

u/nicolasknight 1d ago

Like an army of dogs walking over a hardwood floor.

16

u/Frosty_Analysis_4912 1d ago

Not necessarily changing teams (meaning straight to gay), he’d be bi

→ More replies (6)

25

u/TrippingIntoReality 1d ago

Why is this being posted every hour

6

u/Delcap 19h ago

You know why

130

u/joestaff 1d ago

Spidey and Black Panther do spend a lot of time in museums in the Disney Jr. cartoon.

68

u/dingus_chonus 1d ago

I had assumed this was an idea back when Michael b Jordan was Human torch in Josh Trank’s Fant4stic, what with the Spidey-torch bromance

20

u/TeddyAlderson 1d ago

just made me realise that 2 of the 3 actors who played the human torch then went on to play different MCU characters

(and there's still time for joseph quinn)

7

u/DerCatrix 1d ago

Naw, make him the prowler so it complicates the dynamic of adding Miles Morales even more

3

u/Individual-Bass-7051 1d ago

We all know the prowler wants to prowl in those spidey sheets

149

u/The-Red-Robe 1d ago

It literally says he presented it as a joke 😒

188

u/Soap_Mctavish101 1d ago

Unless? 🥺👉👈

81

u/AdHocHillbilly 1d ago

"Yo, guys, wouldn't it be funny if I got to fall in love with Michael B. Jordan?... Heh! He he... Yeah..."

19

u/dwpea66 23h ago

"It'd be really funny if we did like a call back to the upside-down alley kiss but like between bros haha"

10

u/AlphaBreak 22h ago

"and it would be hilarious if we did full penetration. Maybe also upside down? I don't know, I'm not a writer. I do feel like Peter's character is a service top though."

31

u/Cheesecake_Jonze 1d ago

Michael B Jordan

I think it was just a play on "MJ"

7

u/CrowdyFowl 19h ago

Michael B Jordan

→ More replies (1)

32

u/BZGames 1d ago

So MJ would be Michael Jordan? Don’t see that acronym catching on with a name like that.

42

u/croovy 1d ago

Spider man: No Way Homo

4

u/MillorBabyDoll 1d ago

wouldn't it instead be Yes Way Homo

6

u/Phewelish 1d ago

TIL Andrew Garfield wants to kiss Michael B Jordan.

1

u/CommercialEmployer4 5h ago

Michael B Yorman

11

u/enwongeegeefor 1d ago

"......and then he HAS to kiss me...."

24

u/Toxan 1d ago

Welp... i'll be in my bunk.

12

u/Prokolipsi 1d ago

Bro was just horny for Michael B. Jordan, gotta respect it

4

u/Nother1BitestheCrust 1d ago

It's understandable.

14

u/TheBestofBees 1d ago

Don't threaten me with a good time

3

u/popularis-socialas 1d ago

This has been posted like 50 times across a variety of subreddits over the last week

6

u/Cheshireyan 1d ago

Yeah suuuuure, he would choose Michael when Norman Osborne is just there

→ More replies (1)

7

u/Tsurtle 1d ago

Why not just make Mary Jane into a metaphor for a crippling marijuana habit used as a crutch to avoid social conventions?

8

u/a-snakey 1d ago

Spidey swings whichever way he wants.

→ More replies (7)

3

u/NUXXDK 1d ago

Nice try, Garfield

3

u/willfrodo 19h ago

Don't you just hate it when your plans to kiss MBJ on the lips gets foiled? Smh 😞

3

u/Nbdyhere 19h ago

Spider-Man and his fabulous friends? 😂 the script writes itself.

3

u/SaltyYumYumBalls 18h ago

Mommy! Whats that man doing to Spiderman and why is he smiling?

7

u/ArjunEllath 1d ago

Bro was looking out for the other MJ.. makes sense

9

u/Sev3n 1d ago

I dont recall Spiderman ever being gay?

1

u/AlkaliPineapple 19h ago

Well they could've started one canon of that then

→ More replies (5)

4

u/AAA_Dolfan 1d ago

Why is this being reposted again and again

4

u/Small-Explorer7025 18h ago

But he must have known that there was zero percent chance of that happening, right? So, was he just virtue signalling?

2

u/LinearEquation 22h ago

Why is this recently making the rounds? Is everybody outside the Spider-Man fandom only JUST finding out about this?

2

u/gaanch 21h ago

Same bro

2

u/narcowake 20h ago

Spider Man: Into the Gayverse !

2

u/Dantaroen 11h ago

Damn Andrew really want us to be part of his sexual exploration huh

2

u/-ratmeat- 7h ago

Spider-Gay

2

u/BlueMilk_and_Wookies 5h ago

Is this not just a joke about his initials being MJ?

6

u/inotparanoid 1d ago

Blatant self-insert

4

u/PunxsutawnyFil 18h ago

So you're saying Andrew Garfield wanted to kiss Michael B Jordan

5

u/WhyFlip 1d ago

Garfield will always be the shitty Spiderman to me.

8

u/DesiRadical 1d ago

Nah I would stop watching if they go this route why is this forced in modern media.

5

u/Shadalow 1d ago

So Andrew Garfield wanted to remove the only good things in these movie: Spidey relationship with Gwen.

Brilliant!

1

u/Delcap 19h ago

“Garfield presented it as a joke”

→ More replies (4)

6

u/Eli_Yitzrak 1d ago

Andrew Garfield continues to ensure he remains
the worst spiderman

5

u/MrFiendish 1d ago

Thank god we’re not listening to what ideas that actors come up with.

2

u/Novabulldog 16h ago

I’m listening….

3

u/Poseidon7296 1d ago

Is a fictional superhero being gay or bisexual really a “wild idea” seems pretty normal to me

4

u/bolanrox 1d ago

Deadpool is whatever he wants to be at that particular second.

2

u/KenBoCole 22h ago

But, sadly, the majority of people worldwide would find it "offensive", and Sony, being a corporation, would not want that kind of smoke.

1

u/AlkaliPineapple 19h ago

Look at some of the comments here lol

0

u/randomaccount178 1d ago

There are jokes people make, but they generally aren't serious. No one wants a movie exploring a romantic relationship between Batman and Robin. Well, some might but we don't talk about them. For Spider-Man it is especially weird because of the nature of the character and his comic book history. It would be an incredibly stupid thing to do. Spider-Man is a bit distinct in the fact that the character ages and grows in ways you generally don't think of for comic book characters.

5

u/Rosebunse 1d ago

It doesn't work with Batman and Robin for obvious reasons.

Batman and Superman, however?

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (12)

5

u/IamInternationalBig 1d ago

And ideas like that are why Garfield’s Spider-Man movies did not do as well at the box office. 

0

u/randomaccount178 1d ago

I don't think it really relates much to the issues with his movies. It relates to a lot of other projects which get ruined though. "Why can't we just change this thing we are adapting to be what I really want to do" tends to be one of the hallmarks of terrible adaptations. Stop trying to use adaptations as an excuse to do your own thing.

2

u/AboveBoard 1d ago

That would be pretty hot though. 

2

u/CANYUXEL 1d ago

Insert the "that's kinda gay innit' meme here

2

u/TekkGuy 1d ago

A version of MJ Watson where MJ stands for Michael Jordan

2

u/Nixeris 22h ago

In Ultimate Spider-Man Peter is best friends with Johnny Storm, and there's a female clone of Peter Parker who falls in love with Johnny Storm as soon as she sees him, somewhat implying that there was already an attraction going on.

(Michael B Jordan also played Johnny Storm)

2

u/easymac187 19h ago

But why

2

u/uncleben85 22h ago

I mean, sure why not?

Better yet, it would piss off so many bigots!

3

u/ponytailthehater 1d ago

“Wild” Spider Man idea…or Woke Spider Man idea

1

u/Braincoater 1d ago

I'm sure Killmonger was thrilled to hear about it.

1

u/kirk7899 1d ago

"He was gay Peter Parker?"

1

u/ingenGuru 1d ago

That would have been gay. 

1

u/Belledame-sans-Serif 23h ago

Okay but how is it oniony

1

u/iansmash 23h ago

Mary Jane B Jordan is crazy Andrew calm down

1

u/zetzuei 22h ago

Hollywood execs are running frantically to its writers now

1

u/Landorizzian 22h ago

That's gay

1

u/skeletonhorse420 22h ago

Makes sense after emma. He's looking for a bricked up man now

1

u/Anonymousma 22h ago

I would have went with Lucy Pinder but to each his own.

1

u/thesirblondie 22h ago

Peter Parker and MJ

1

u/Anubis_Omega 2h ago

Spider-man : Peter and Miles secret love

•

u/Mr_Saturn1 55m ago

And here’s the twist: we show it, we show all of it.

0

u/CreativeFartist 1d ago

I mean, I’m not opposed to it. They’re both attractive.

2

u/Loki-L 1d ago

Well he played the Human Torch and the Torch and Spidey have been good friends in many comics. Not too far of a leap.

-4

u/that1cooldude 1d ago

No. Please, god, NO! NOOoOOOOoOoooooo

-5

u/Zombata 1d ago

username does not check out

1

u/Infinite-Show-9871 1d ago

spider-man finally getting a love interest who won't get thrown off a bridge, progress

1

u/Bonzaii_11 1d ago

Queen eye for the spider guy

1

u/Hotmancoco420 1d ago

The character's name according to reports would be...Harry Jane

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Sorry, but your account is too new to post. Your account needs to be either 2 weeks old or have at least 250 combined link and comment karma. Don't modmail us about this, just wait it out or get more karma.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/TrashAcnt1 1d ago

How many freaking times are yall repost this?

1

u/CoachTwisterT3 1d ago

Glen Stacy? Martin-Jake Watson?

1

u/Spaghetto23 1d ago

MICHAEL BE JERKIN

1

u/Nananahx 23h ago

"it's in the script, what an I stopped to do?"

1

u/themustachemark 23h ago

Better plot than A Brand New Day, seriously that movie sucks ass.

1

u/kbundy 22h ago

Human Torch roommate arc... but not the one Disney wants

1

u/Ashoka-myballs 21h ago

The gay idea makes sense. I am not sure who would play Glenn Stacy or Marty Jane?

1

u/OkReference2581 21h ago

I guess they dont like making money anymore?