r/nottheonion • u/novagridd • 6h ago

Thailand's Prostitution Patrol on High Alert as 5,000 US Sailors Drop Ship After 200 Days at Sea

https://www.fashiontimes.co.uk/pattaya-police-intensify-prostitution-patrols-us-navy-visit-1763395
18.1k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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2.9k

u/Sir_Ruje 6h ago

Saving Ryan's privates

1.3k

u/itchybuttholejuice 6h ago

Black Hog Down

634

u/Attilat 5h ago

The Hurt Log

579

u/fivebillionproud 5h ago

Full Latex Jacket

348

u/mukavastinumb 5h ago

Hepatitis Now! Redux

169

u/iseymourbuttson 4h ago

Dunkock

75

u/Oz347 2h ago

Band of Boners

•

u/Grimnebulin68 7m ago

Alien: Pendulous

88

u/robotsdottxt 3h ago

Inglourious Bastards.

17

u/doubleapowpow 1h ago

Ramboner

3

u/EatABag-o-Dicks 1h ago

Boner on the 4th Thai.

4

u/DryerCoinJay 3h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/Colon_Oscopy_74 3h ago

Hot Shots, Part: Ménage à Trois

4

u/Fauster 1h ago

Behind Panty Lines

•

u/Connect-Cabinet-5073 28m ago

The thick red spot

105

u/Zinfan1 5h ago

Trickle down economics

119

u/SirPiffingsthwaite 5h ago

Not Quiet on the Eastern Front

40

u/darthmase 3h ago

Shags of Our Fathers

•

u/sir_lister 53m ago

S * M * A * S * H

65

u/Fyrrys 4h ago

A River Runs Through It

25

u/epochellipse 3h ago

Gropenhymen.

25

u/alektorophobic 3h ago

Black Hawk still up

3

u/Saf3ty1nnumb3rs 2h ago

Black Hawk (Goes) Down

3

u/TM761152 4h ago

Band of Bothered.

2

u/mjgstyle 3h ago

Band of Broutherhood!

2

u/Grasshop 2h ago

Band of Boners

1

u/Sufficient-Bid1279 3h ago

Trickle up economics.

21

u/SoylentGrunt 5h ago

More river. More bunnies.

62

u/hillside 5h ago

The Rear Hunter

57

u/Emillennium_Falcon 5h ago

In Diana Jones.

56

u/Emillennium_Falcon 5h ago

The Temple of Poon.

4

u/TacTurtle 4h ago

Raiders of her Lost Arc

3

u/fauxdeuce 4h ago

A wiener runs through it.

3

u/Joe_Kangg 3h ago

Bridge over your sister Quay

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1

u/SoylentGrunt 3h ago

Bareback Mountain

1

u/SelectiveSanity 4h ago

Battle of the Bulge.

1

u/DieBotDie 2h ago

Acockalypse Now! was right there.

1

u/OttawaTGirl 5h ago

The Backhardagains.

21

u/shokolokobangoshey 4h ago

The Bone Survivor

1

u/Sharrba 4h ago

This is the one 🤣

1

u/multiarmform 2h ago

a thin rubber line

27

u/Beautiful_Pen1056 4h ago

The Spurt Locker

102

u/potatopierogie 5h ago

Or the hurt cock 'er

71

u/Thoughtulism 5h ago

Schindler's Syph

102

u/Tiny-Trump 5h ago

Done in 60 Seconds

30

u/Andovars_Ghost 5h ago

60 seconds!? What is this, a marathon?

1

u/Asatas 3h ago

It's a movie, you gotta suspend belief!

1

u/Josey_whalez 4h ago

So time to cuddle afterwards?

1

u/fordfan919 3h ago

Jarmeds

1

u/euanmorse 3h ago

Too beaucoup

1

u/blueponies1 1h ago

We Were Sailors (cuz they’re in jail now)

40

u/_BLACK_BY_NAME_ 5h ago

I swear this was an actual well produced skit back in the early 2000’s, with tons of dismembered dildos. I think I saw it on newgrounds or something. If anyone can find it, I’d love to see just to know I’m not crazy

21

u/jackalope134 5h ago

It was done by MAD TV if I'm remembering correctly

14

u/rafaelloaa 5h ago

Oh wow, that is quite... Something (moderately NSFW, nothing actually explicit, but good luck explaining that to your boss).

1

u/_BLACK_BY_NAME_ 5h ago

Nah this isn’t it, appreciate the effort though. This had a lot of dildos that were designed to look like they were blown off someone. Soldiers were digging through them trying to find “Ryan’s privates”. It was actually pretty seriously written and was kind of gory… it was going through everyone’s emails in Iraq back around 2007, same as “hey there vagina” which was a spin off of “hey there Delilah” that was just porn clips. Good times.

1

u/just_posting_this_ch 2h ago

How does one, uh, "dismember a dildo"?

2

u/_BLACK_BY_NAME_ 1h ago

They had fleshy thugs hanging off them like they were blown off, it was wild

21

u/MuchoGrande 4h ago

Shaving Ryan's Privates

1

u/TM761152 4h ago

More crabs than an all-you-can-eat seafood buffet

2

u/wowaddict71 3h ago

You made my dyslexic brain hurt 🤕😂🤣

1

u/OfTheSevenSeasSir 5h ago

more like destroying them

1

u/Illustrious_Cry1028 4h ago

Shaving Ryan's Privates

1

u/steelheaddan 3h ago

Two and a half men?

1

u/cbflowers 3h ago

This was actually a real title to a porn shortly after the movie came out

1

u/panterachallenger 3h ago

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Ballplay

1

u/WolfAndOak 3h ago

*Shaving

1

u/KamikazeSting 2h ago

A-pox-on-lips Now

1

u/moobybooby 1h ago

Fuck that made me laugh too hard in a meeting and now I’m in trouble.

1

u/-Harlequin- 5h ago

Madame Nut-n'-Bye

0

u/Emillennium_Falcon 5h ago

Shaving Ryan’s Privates.