r/nottheonion • u/novagridd • 5h ago
Thailand's Prostitution Patrol on High Alert as 5,000 US Sailors Drop Ship After 200 Days at Sea
https://www.fashiontimes.co.uk/pattaya-police-intensify-prostitution-patrols-us-navy-visit-17633955.9k
u/DeepHerting 5h ago
VD-Day
2.6k
u/Sir_Ruje 5h ago
Saving Ryan's privates
1.2k
u/itchybuttholejuice 5h ago
Black Hog Down
585
u/Attilat 5h ago
The Hurt Log
524
u/fivebillionproud 4h ago
Full Latex Jacket
316
u/mukavastinumb 4h ago
Hepatitis Now! Redux
143
102
u/Zinfan1 4h ago
Trickle down economics
→ More replies (3)108
u/SirPiffingsthwaite 4h ago
Not Quiet on the Eastern Front
56
26
→ More replies (4)19
→ More replies (4)18
u/SoylentGrunt 4h ago
More river. More bunnies.
56
u/hillside 4h ago
The Rear Hunter
→ More replies (1)50
→ More replies (2)13
96
14
→ More replies (3)86
37
u/_BLACK_BY_NAME_ 4h ago
I swear this was an actual well produced skit back in the early 2000’s, with tons of dismembered dildos. I think I saw it on newgrounds or something. If anyone can find it, I’d love to see just to know I’m not crazy
12
u/rafaelloaa 4h ago
Oh wow, that is quite... Something (moderately NSFW, nothing actually explicit, but good luck explaining that to your boss).
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)20
→ More replies (14)15
158
u/Lopsided-Anteater129 5h ago
Use a condom for all sexual acts and you're good. Check for herpes outbreaks. I hope the crayon eaters had a basic sex ed course and know how babby is formed.
78
→ More replies (3)11
61
→ More replies (27)39
1.1k
u/IamGeoMan 5h ago
ExpatFIRE gonna have to re-evaluate their CoL estimates now that demand is gonna spike certain costs
→ More replies (4)505
u/AzureDreamer 5h ago
You are joking but I bet prices of everything do spike geographically near where this boat ports, the sailors are problably going to have consumption rates of 2-3x and normal person so thats like 10k-15k visitor influx.
This would mean nothing to a city of a million but a city of 30k who knows.
I am just speculating I know nothing in specifics feel free to disregard.
279
u/semisociallyawkward 5h ago
I was traveling through Thailand with a Thai and amused discover that Thai has its own number system. Every place had a Thai price and a foreign price, with the latter easily 2-5x higher.
121
u/Dhiox 4h ago
Yeah, we saw Bangkok with my cousin and his wife, who is Thai (Technically I think she was Laotian, at least ethnically, but besides the point), and not only was she amazing at getting us Transportation to the places we needed to go, I have no doubt she was making sure they weren't randomly spiking prices on us.
→ More replies (1)33
u/AzureDreamer 4h ago
I bet that was an awesome experience
33
u/Dhiox 4h ago
Absolutely. After Bangkok we went home with them to Ubon where they and my other Cousins lived, and got to visit with all our Thai family we had not met before, and see their farm.
My cousin really wanted to send us home with rice from her farm, but sadly US customs wouldn't have appreciated that, so I had to decline.
→ More replies (3)102
u/AzureDreamer 4h ago
Absolutely does, that just happens when you travel to a place with lower relative incomes, but even those prices they inflate I imagine can be subject to supply and demand.
→ More replies (4)25
u/milkhotelbitches 4h ago edited 4h ago
In Vietnam it's the same. There's the local price and the foreigner price.
It made me feel a little better when I found out they also overcharge other Vietnamese if they are from a different part of the country. If you weren't a local and didn't know the local market price of goods you were going to get ripped off.
→ More replies (6)→ More replies (16)43
u/enceinte-uno 4h ago
Iirc some places in Japan also do this and honestly I get it. Locals can be repeat customers and you have to live with them. Tourists might only come once and could potentially have unreasonable demands/attitudes or might not understand local culture.
36
u/stupidjapanquestions 3h ago edited 2h ago
Sort of. Bit more complex in Japan, though you have the right idea. But what OP is talking about is largely a SE Asia thing.
Japan does a thing where they have "tourist" prices, but they're mostly one or two items specifically aimed towards a western palate for tourists who are trying to have a specific "experience". For example, most people living here do not eat "Wagyu Burgers" with any degree of frequency. Those are basically tourist bait.
What OP is describing in SE asia, unlike Japan, is more of an "off book" thing that affects the final bill. And is at many places.
Japan, when it does this, which is pretty rare, is usually in extremely high frequency tourist areas and honestly, makes sense for the reasons you pointed out. There are exceptions, like super rare hole in the wall places which will try to charge you more off-book, but they're not even close to the level you'll see in SE Asia.
Those are usually places where tourists try to force themselves into a space that clearly does not speak English and are basically paying a higher price for the hassle, which is reasonable because, again, not everywhere speaks English. Most of those places have a staff of like 1 or 2 people and asking them to read your janky ChatGPT translation in addition to their regular duties, at a place that doesn't even take tips and is only earning a bit above a very low minimum wage, is kind of a crazy ask.
Source: Live in Japan. Lived in Vietnam.
7
u/AgustinCB 3h ago
For example, most people living here do not eat "Wagyu Burgers" with any degree of frequency. Those are basically tourist bait.
That said, we went there a few months ago, eat some wagyu burgers knowing full well they were bait, and they were also delicious. I don’t think I ate better burgers in North America.
→ More replies (1)26
u/nikchi 2h ago
Wagyu is known for its excellent marbling. When you mince it and put it through a grinder to make it into a burger that's no different than just making a burger with more fat.
It's the ultimate bait.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (7)20
u/IamGeoMan 5h ago
I was tippy-toeing around the idea of prostitution costs going up. Not all expats migrating to SEA are saints, yet the subject is essentially untouchable in that sub.
→ More replies (1)
424
u/durrtyurr 4h ago
"Thailand's Prostitution Patrol" sounds like the name of a particularly sleazy adult film.
154
→ More replies (6)5
610
u/QuillDidNothingWrong 5h ago
Quite the clap-back.
→ More replies (2)223
u/TokenStraightFriend 5h ago
I'm gonorrhea-d this article for further details
54
u/holymotheroftod 5h ago
HIV'e read it twice already.
19
1.8k
u/BareNakedSole 5h ago
I grew up with a lot of guys that really didn’t have anything going on so a bunch joined the military. Years later, the guys that joined the Marines are mostly OK, but the guys that served in the Navy are mostly out of shape obnoxious know-it-alls who love Trump and think that because you didn’t serve in the military you don’t know shit about anything.
And yet, when you ask them about their time in the Navy, all you get is multiple stories about either some homo erotic shit being done on the ship while they’re in the middle of the sea, or all of the times they got gonorrhea from their time in ports like Subic Bay and Thailand.
1.2k
u/Bovronius 5h ago
I see you've met my brother that joined the navy... I don't think he owns a piece of civilian clothing thats not a blue lives matters piece... Also he's always in crippling debt but also has 3 new guns everytime he would come around... Also he's engaged to his buddies daughter he used to babysit.
760
u/guimontag 5h ago
That last sentence YIKES
→ More replies (6)254
u/Masquelinity 3h ago
Typical Republican.
59
u/icepigs 1h ago
Just wait until she turns 12 and he will lose interest.
12
u/Masquelinity 1h ago
They think Leonardo DiCaprio is a deviant because he dates all those old women.
213
96
u/SufficientSquirrel27 5h ago
I had to read that last sentence three times to make sure I was reading it correctly
→ More replies (1)34
18
→ More replies (11)4
88
u/bestestopinion 5h ago
Can you please regale us with these homoerotic stories?
70
u/Different_One9412 4h ago
It would be considered gay except they say the phrase "It ain't gay if its the Navy"
54
→ More replies (1)8
54
u/JyveAFK 3h ago
Boss was submariner. Docking in... think it was Thailand. Him and half a dozen mates went to a place where there was a large round table. 1 girl, 1 boy walk in, go under the table and random BJ's are given out. First one to look under the table to see if they got the chick or the dude pays for the whole thing.
Boss would get drunk, tell this story, often, laughing that he might be gay but he doesn't know for sure as someone else paid for the night.!Normal things in the Navy. As bad as regular crew are, submariners are something else.
20
u/BasvanS 2h ago
I wouldn’t mind a blowjob by a man as much as this kind of group dynamic.
→ More replies (2)13
u/Davido401 2h ago
A mean am not gay(or in the navy) but if you cant see whose sooking yer baws(scottish translation: sucking your balls) and its good who cares! Although that table would have to be there for plausible deniability cause the thought of eye contact with a male down there wouldnt fill any mouths with my Scottish cum.
Hesus fucking christ did I just type that lol
10
→ More replies (1)10
u/90210fred 1h ago
In Thailand "1 girl, 1 boy" might be considered a generous assumption in the absence of clear evidence.
14
→ More replies (2)15
233
u/Physical-Builder-553 5h ago
My son is in the Navy and I am embarrassed by the things he now says.
148
u/luminary_planetarium 4h ago edited 4h ago
My dad was in the navy and I'm embarrassed by the things he says lol it never ends I guess
*I should clarify he isn't MAGA. Stupidity is not exclusive to them unfortunately
61
u/jawndell 4h ago
How does a draft dodger who publicly called out decorated and respected soldiers have military people in such a chokehold??
55
28
u/luminary_planetarium 4h ago
I should clarify my dad isn't MAGA but he still says stupid, hateful things and does cringey stuff. Being at sea for months with a bunch of other dudes does things to you I guess.
18
u/Oversensitive_Reddit 3h ago
Republican propaganda is almost totally successful at programming their voters to believe that Democrats are much, much worse. Their echo chambers are also bulletproof. I can find the nearest Trump supporter that considers themself """"informed"""" and tell them like 10 crimes Trump has committed, with evidence, in public, and they haven't heard anything about it.
→ More replies (1)12
u/PresidentKraznov 3h ago
The military isn't know for promoting critical thinking. I don't mean this in a disparaging way, as this is just how the chain of command works in pretty much any military around the world. You don't get points for individualism and you do get points for toeing the line. It's drilled into you the second you step off the bus. Pier pressure on steroids.
→ More replies (1)11
23
u/getliftedyo 4h ago
Im sorry! I bet its awful having a kid turn out like that.
11
u/LKZToroH 3h ago
Right? That's why I don't want kids. What if they want to join the navy... Or become bolsonaristas(the Maga equivalent in Brazil). I'd never be able to live with the guilty of raising them.
→ More replies (3)72
u/agentchuck 4h ago
I did some scuba in Okinawa with a group run by ex US military. They were excellent dive masters, ran everything by the book. But man it took like 15 minutes before they started busting out stories of getting $20 beer & BJ & haircut combos in some SE Asia deployment.
→ More replies (3)46
u/sjw_7 4h ago
I'm in the UK and a few friends of mine from school joined the forces back in the 90s. A couple of the lads who joined the army spent a fair bit of time in Bosnia and from what they told me things got pretty dicey for them.
The one who joined the navy I don't think he ever ended up in a conflict zone instead he seemed to spend most of his time bobbing around in the Caribbean and trying to shag anything that moved. All his stories are just around stuff he and his shipmates got up to.
→ More replies (1)101
u/swaywithwords 4h ago
I see you met my uncle who is retired Navy
I have a lot of respect for the armed forces, but much respect is lost when you act holier than thou and openly support Trump.
I haven't met a single Trump supporter that likes themselves or seems content or happy with their life. It's all misery loving company.
→ More replies (11)66
u/Oregon-Pilot 4h ago
I don’t blanket respect armed forces. A lot of people who join up are idiots, and some are just shitty people. Just because you decide you want to make a living by living out your Rambo dreams doesn’t make you a hero. Don’t tell me you joined to “serve” and sacrifice for your country, when all you really want is to take advantage of the perks the title gives you.
That doesn’t mean there aren’t people who are very honorable and who do believe in service, and who people who do act heroically. It’s just that I think there are way less of them than the narrative seems to push.
27
u/roguevirus 3h ago
and some are just shitty people.
I am a Marine veteran, and did 9 years on active duty. The very best people I've met in my life are United States Marines; importantly, the very worst people I've met in my life are also United States Marines.
We're just people.
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (1)15
u/PirateSanta_1 3h ago
A lot of people who join the military did it simply because they didn't have the grades for college and didn't know what else to do with their life after high school. Military service in general is over glamorized for what is just a job for like 99% of the people there. All the military vets who i've met that aren't shitheels just talk about things like how the base they where on was kinda shitty and the shower floors where disgusting.
→ More replies (1)15
u/torgofjungle 3h ago
As an ex-navy guy.. most of my shipmates are pretty split. Granted it’s a small sample size since I served on a sub, but some of them are Trump douche bags. Others are far leftists. One is an actual Nazi, or at least I cut off contact when he started espousing Nazi talking points.
→ More replies (1)30
u/UnquestionabIe 4h ago
Only guy I know who joined the Navy was practically special needs, amazed he not only graduated high school but was even accepted into the armed forces. Didn't make him any more intelligent but boy did he have a lot of stories about brothels and prostitutes!
And while normally you would think someone who is willing to admit that was the only way they got laid would try to at least make the experience seem less pathetic he did quite the opposite. Most every story was about how he upset the lady in question by struggling to perform or managed to blast off while she tried to put the condom on him.
Yeah he's someone who makes me question how society has managed to survive to this point. Of course then I head to work and deal with the public to get a fresh reminder that while he might not be a complete exception he isn't quite the rule. The world is made up of all sorts of people with varying kinds of damage, a shame so many seem to be brain centric.
→ More replies (1)21
u/greywar777 4h ago
Dead on accurate for my male navy friends-my 2 navy folks who are woman though talk more about the sex abuse.
My marine friends both have some serious alcohol issues. They drank a lot during their time in partying, and it ended up being a lifetime issue.
→ More replies (26)19
u/darth_handturkey 4h ago
To be fair, every branch has their fair share of homoerotica. I assume this is from a combination of being surrounded by same-sex individuals and in a high stress environment. I was in the air force and we had "Man love Thursday," which... is exactly what it sounds like.
24
u/Cesspoolofhumanity69 4h ago
I’d heard that term… yeah not exactly what it sounds like
Goofleslop: "Man-love Thursday" is a slang term used by coalition soldiers and contractors during the war in Afghanistan to describe bacha bazi, a traditional and illegal practice where older or affluent men exploit adolescent boys for social entertainment and sexual abuse.Definition and OriginThe Practice (Bacha Bazi): Translating roughly to "boy play," the custom involves young boys dressed in women's or girls' clothing dancing for groups of men at private social gatherings, often resulting in sexual enslavement or abuse.The Slang Term: Western military personnel and contractors in Afghanistan used "Man-love Thursday" as a dark or half-joking reference to the night before the Islamic holy day (Friday), falsely or colloquially rationalizing it among local security forces as a localized custom.
149
u/Serpentongue 5h ago
To quote the Fox News’ Jesse Waters:
“they’re gonna get out there, and women on base, you guys better be careful. Port calls, women in Asia, you better be careful, because these guys are gonna be wild animals, and you better watch out.”
→ More replies (4)80
u/MonsieurReynard 5h ago
Does that clown realize that there are many women serving on Navy ships?
139
96
u/guysomejust69 4h ago
I mean a woman allegedly got raped by a captain on a Navy ship and the DoL dismissed the claim and said she had to file workers comp link
24
u/Throwaway392308 4h ago
The very last thing that man ever realized is that he had none of the skills or talents necessary to be a contributing member of society.
Later that day he applied to join Fox News, and hasn't had a single thought since.
12
u/guysomejust69 4h ago
So shoukd he ammend it to "women on base and on ships"?
Women aren't on there to satisfy a guys sexual needs
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (4)11
261
u/Piggy145145 5h ago
I thought it was legal there
Edit read the article turns out despite being known a sex tourism place it is not in fact legal in Thailand .
105
u/21Rollie 3h ago
One of those things where it being de jure illegal but de facto legal is the best of both worlds for the state. You can get easy legal dirt on people, whilst still benefiting from the economic activity it generates, and not needing to protect the workers who make it possible.
8
→ More replies (4)5
u/No_Internal9345 2h ago
The "prostitution patrol" is more like make sure everyone is playing nice and fair patrol.
→ More replies (12)82
u/Turdmeist 4h ago
Legalize and regulate all the things. Everyone wins. Except maybe law enforcement/jails. But maybe in sensible countries that would be true as well. What countries profit from jailing people?
→ More replies (26)114
u/SethCyclone 4h ago
What countries profit from jailing people?
The US of A
→ More replies (1)38
u/Throwaway392308 4h ago
Certain people profit, but America itself pays dearly for it.
→ More replies (6)
132
u/bestestopinion 5h ago
I think women and seamen don’t mix
→ More replies (2)
83
u/Sir_Ruje 5h ago
Idk who has to deal with incidents and bail but they are about to have a really wild few days
37
u/SocwokCyberBully 4h ago
the aircraft carrier has a whole legal department. iirc their office is on the upper mid port side of the ship and its a really chill place to sip your coffee and avoid your division chief
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (1)14
u/CobblerMoney9605 3h ago
Ship's police department (MAA - Master At Arms) is going to be busy.
→ More replies (1)
47
u/chefnology 4h ago
Why has this been posted aggressively for three days straight?
23
→ More replies (7)5
18
u/Aintseenmeroit 3h ago
I was on holiday in Pattaya when a carrier and two other ships turned up. Prices quadrupled for the three days they were there and I stayed in my hotel.
→ More replies (1)
145
13
7
u/Ok_Move1838 1h ago
Is all fun and jokes until you realize that a big number of sex workers in Thailand are literal children
47
u/notmyblood 4h ago
They’ve had to open the strategic prostitute reserve so it sounds pretty serious.
Even reservists are being called up…
→ More replies (2)
53
u/nerdmor 5h ago
Honest question for those who served: isn't there a serious risk of a bunch of those sailors simply going AWOL?
79
u/MsCorningstone 5h ago
Thailand has really strict visa policies for US military. Even if they do go awol, they are not getting out of the country and will have a tough time since many sailors do not even have passports. I was there in '09 and we had to jump through hoops to get sailors in and out of the country. Some were denied entry and had to be sent to the next port.
→ More replies (1)14
u/VirtualLife76 4h ago
Never thought about it, how does that work? Do they have a local checking everyone as the get off the boat or is it more of an honor system?
26
u/MsCorningstone 3h ago
There is an agreement between the two countries. Sailors do not go through immigration when they go into a foreign port. Essentially they send a list to the country and everyone that comes in with the boat needs to leave with the boat.
→ More replies (2)13
u/front_yard_duck_dad 4h ago
I never served but have been around enough Old timers to know that they will have flown military police from the mainland and be patrolling because the second those dudes don't check into their boat. They will get snatched up by military police
14
u/MsCorningstone 3h ago
The ship has its own police force, and shore patrol will consist of MA's and people on assigned duty. They do not fly in military police... they're already on the boat.
→ More replies (2)43
u/yinzerthrowaway412 5h ago
Most of these folks have family and lives at home. Many are working on earning a retirement pension.
They’ll get leave, some will do stupid shit, then they’ll be back at sea in like a week
79
u/Shaggy_bulls07 5h ago
Lol I wasn't in this specific branch but I mean not really. Again being at sea is really shitty but most of these Saliors have lives in the US they not gonna abandon and lose their pay benefits for what. Also depending on the ship maybe the Navy is different but they probably gonna be extra strict.
18
20
u/swaywithwords 4h ago
Do you understand the consequences of going AWOL?
→ More replies (2)11
u/maurosmane 4h ago
I was in the US army and was part of a small group of soldiers that went and built some elementary schools in rural Thailand that were gifted to the Thai people as part of a much larger two week exercise later that year.
We only had two platoons, and one of the platoon sergeants (E7) had already been to the city we were staying in to scout out hotels, etc.
When we got to the city we had about 12 hours of personal time to explore. He went to go see some people he met when he was there prior. Didn't come back for four days and was in rough shape when he did.
People were seriously worried about him, and then when it was fine out he essentially went AWOL it got real hush hush and we never saw him again.
14
u/Vaylor77 4h ago
Not really. They would be stuck in a foreign country with a bunch of issues coming their way. They're on their way home now, probably another port visit or 2 on the way. They also have a ton of money in their pockets from all of the bonus pay they've been getting, unless they have a family at home.
Once they get home half the crew will take a month off, then they swap. At least that's how it was when I had an extended deployment similar to this. Ship needed a lot of repairs.
→ More replies (2)12
u/Successful-Reason403 4h ago
Our military is voluntary service, and for many it’s looked at as a career or path to one. So no, if someone wanted out they would probably just go through normal channels.
→ More replies (7)11
u/harambe_did911 4h ago
Why would they do that? To live as a fugitive in Thailand forever when they are finally almost home?
206
u/bornlasttuesday 5h ago edited 4h ago
Poor Thailand having to deal with the American militaries penchant for sexual assault.
Edit: it's military's not militaries.
55
u/Miserable_Ad9577 5h ago
Pattaya where they will be landing (just north of the port) came to be exact what it is because this is where they R&R since Vietnam war.
11
u/Siegfoult 2h ago
Not just Thailand. Okinawa has been dealing with it for decades.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (21)29
54
u/demotsusucku 3h ago
Those poor women.
American soldiers are the worst of the worst.
Just look what they do where ever they are stationed.
Like in Japan.
39
→ More replies (37)•
u/Guardian_Turret 39m ago
American soldiers are the worst of the worst.
Have you even been paying attention to the shit coming out of Russia?
22
u/jennifergeek 4h ago
Not gonna lie, this gives me the ick. Pretty sure most are ready for a decent meal for a change.
→ More replies (1)
23
u/AbleArcher420 4h ago
This is depressing. Jesus Christ.
33
u/DicemonkeyDrunk 3h ago
Wait till you find out how many assaults , rapes etc they’ll commit.
→ More replies (1)
31
39
u/sudomatrix 5h ago
In unrelated news: Thailand's Prostitutes on High Alert as 5,000 US Sailors Drop Ship After 200 Days at Sea.
13
57
u/Bart_Yellowbeard 5h ago
This is not oniony in the slightest.
→ More replies (2)25
u/Narashori 4h ago
The phrase "prostitution patrol on high alert" does feel very oniony to me.
→ More replies (2)
17
u/releasethedogs 5h ago
They were fucking each other on the ship. Everyone knows that. I used to know this attorney from San Diego who in her navy days got 3 male sailors to blow each other so she would give them each a hand job and they did.
→ More replies (1)9
u/benskinic 5h ago
that attny is a wheeler dealer on the scale of the guy that traded up from a lawn mower to a car
4.5k
u/ul2006kevinb 5h ago
Do prostitutes utilize surge pricing?