r/nottheonion • u/novagridd • 8h ago

Thailand's Prostitution Patrol on High Alert as 5,000 US Sailors Drop Ship After 200 Days at Sea

https://www.fashiontimes.co.uk/pattaya-police-intensify-prostitution-patrols-us-navy-visit-1763395
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u/BareNakedSole 7h ago

I grew up with a lot of guys that really didn’t have anything going on so a bunch joined the military. Years later, the guys that joined the Marines are mostly OK, but the guys that served in the Navy are mostly out of shape obnoxious know-it-alls who love Trump and think that because you didn’t serve in the military you don’t know shit about anything.

And yet, when you ask them about their time in the Navy, all you get is multiple stories about either some homo erotic shit being done on the ship while they’re in the middle of the sea, or all of the times they got gonorrhea from their time in ports like Subic Bay and Thailand.

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u/bestestopinion 7h ago

Can you please regale us with these homoerotic stories?

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u/JyveAFK 5h ago

Boss was submariner. Docking in... think it was Thailand. Him and half a dozen mates went to a place where there was a large round table. 1 girl, 1 boy walk in, go under the table and random BJ's are given out. First one to look under the table to see if they got the chick or the dude pays for the whole thing.
Boss would get drunk, tell this story, often, laughing that he might be gay but he doesn't know for sure as someone else paid for the night.

!Normal things in the Navy. As bad as regular crew are, submariners are something else.

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u/BasvanS 5h ago

I wouldn’t mind a blowjob by a man as much as this kind of group dynamic.

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u/Davido401 5h ago

A mean am not gay(or in the navy) but if you cant see whose sooking yer baws(scottish translation: sucking your balls) and its good who cares! Although that table would have to be there for plausible deniability cause the thought of eye contact with a male down there wouldnt fill any mouths with my Scottish cum.

Hesus fucking christ did I just type that lol

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u/bazderoman 4h ago

thank you for the translation 

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u/Davido401 4h ago

No problem, tips fedora (wouldnt catch me dead with a fedora, more respect for myself)

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u/iAmYoungAndInMyPrime 4h ago

you are the weirdest dude I saw online and I've been on 4chan

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u/Davido401 4h ago

Th-er... Thats an achievement! I guess lol

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u/clandestineVexation 2h ago

But of course you are still making eye contact with everyone else at the table.

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u/Davido401 2h ago

Thats different! Whoever looks away is clearly embarrassed and thus gay! (Kinda like when I was in school and if someone got their ear pierced it was the "gay ear" I think it was the right in my year at school but it probably changes year to year and person to person haha)

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u/Bakoro 3h ago

Are you saying that the group dynamic bothers you more than the idea of a blowjob from a man, or are you saying that you'd be more comfortable with getting a blowjob by a man if you had a social environment that wasn't hostile?

Like, I've got no romantic interest towards males, but I'm flexible enough that if there was a healthy social environment I would be fine with some amount of male physical contact.
Most of the cultures around the world that I'm familiar with, and the vast majority of men I've known are just so fucking gross though.

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u/Dependent_Basis_8092 3h ago

It calmed down somewhat when women started going on subs but when it was all stag boats it could definitely get weird. I remember one guy doing a professional presentation to develop leadership skills, these presentations could be on anything and he chose ducks, it was 12 minutes on how ducks will fuck anything, they’ll hold the females head underwater while mating, gang up on the females and a big part about their anatomy. The chief was livid, but told him while it was well presented he needed to better title his presentation next time to match the content.

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u/xMyDixieWreckedx 1h ago

Should have chosen Sea Otters

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u/90210fred 4h ago

In Thailand "1 girl, 1 boy" might be considered a generous assumption in the absence of clear evidence.

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u/JyveAFK 2h ago

That's a /really/ good point. Wonder if that ever occurred to him.

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u/diomedes-on-rampage 1h ago

this is pretty much common in every country in the world and goes back to ancient greeks (like most military traditions if it is about europe or has connection to the europe like past colony or adversary or ally etc. it is either greek or roman tradition). the thing about this story is no one would call anyone gay sitting at that table because their dick was getting sucked. in any branch of the army, navy etc. it is only punishable if you are the one doing the sucky sucky or being the bottom. for example if 2 soldiers get caught, soldier 1 fucking soldier 2, or soldier 2 sucks soldier 1's dick, then only soldier 2 gets punished because in the way of army, navy etc. soldier 1 was still doing the man part of the sexual duty and soldier 2 was doing the female part.
this is why so many people confuse lgbt and service members view. soldiers will have no problem getting action with males, trans etc. as long as they are the one doing the action.
soldier life is crazy is so many ways.