r/nottheonion • u/novagridd • 6h ago

Thailand's Prostitution Patrol on High Alert as 5,000 US Sailors Drop Ship After 200 Days at Sea

https://www.fashiontimes.co.uk/pattaya-police-intensify-prostitution-patrols-us-navy-visit-1763395
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u/The-disgracist 6h ago

Our brave servicemen drive dodge chargers with 22% interest rates, sir.

48

u/rolloutTheTrash 6h ago

Only the finest "gently" used chargers/prostitutes for our soldiers 🫡

10

u/accidental_Ocelot 4h ago

Just wait till the prostitutes figure out subscription models.

13

u/TheArmoredKitten 4h ago

My man, infantry brigades in Vietnam would occasionally sponsor an entire brothel just to keep their guys clean. I've read more than a few stories about how you wouldn't hear a peep about how you spent your downtime as long as you stayed clean, didn't get into trouble, and always went to the 'correct' establishment.

3

u/DoctFaustus 2h ago

By 'correct', you mean the one that greases the right palms.

1

u/PermanentTrainDamage 2h ago

We'll fight unwinnable wars but keeping track of 10000+ dingalings is too much work. Just don't get VD and we're good.

4

u/rolloutTheTrash 4h ago

That or season passes/fast lane passes 🤣

2

u/National-Charity-435 2h ago

You mean the dating trap?!

3

u/Saymynaian 2h ago

Just reinvented marriage

1

u/HongChongDong 3h ago

Financing sex?

1

u/rabbitlion 2h ago

What do you think onlyfans is?

13

u/Chaos-Cortex 5h ago

Have you adjusted for the orange pedophiles tariffs inflation? More like 42%

6

u/ButtersScotch7000 5h ago

Trump has signed an executive order to rename the Brampton Assembly Plant to the America Assembly Plant.

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u/Agreeable-Network485 4h ago

22%? Financiers are going soft.

1

u/Raneynickelfire 2h ago

Because smart, adjusted, educated, intelligent people don't end up in the military.

That was easy.