r/nottheonion • u/novagridd • 6h ago

Thailand's Prostitution Patrol on High Alert as 5,000 US Sailors Drop Ship After 200 Days at Sea

https://www.fashiontimes.co.uk/pattaya-police-intensify-prostitution-patrols-us-navy-visit-1763395
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83

u/bestestopinion 6h ago

Can you please regale us with these homoerotic stories?

78

u/Different_One9412 5h ago

It would be considered gay except they say the phrase "It ain't gay if its the Navy"

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u/Acceptable_Gap3015 5h ago

"It's not gay if it's underway"

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u/Ask_bout_PaterNoster 4h ago

It’s not queer if you’re by the pier

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u/Agreeable-Network485 4h ago

It's only gay if you cum on purpose

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u/zatalak 3h ago

*porpoise

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u/rybres123 2h ago

Seriously not gay if you’re at sea

57

u/JyveAFK 4h ago

Boss was submariner. Docking in... think it was Thailand. Him and half a dozen mates went to a place where there was a large round table. 1 girl, 1 boy walk in, go under the table and random BJ's are given out. First one to look under the table to see if they got the chick or the dude pays for the whole thing.
Boss would get drunk, tell this story, often, laughing that he might be gay but he doesn't know for sure as someone else paid for the night.

!Normal things in the Navy. As bad as regular crew are, submariners are something else.

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u/BasvanS 3h ago

I wouldn’t mind a blowjob by a man as much as this kind of group dynamic.

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u/Davido401 3h ago

A mean am not gay(or in the navy) but if you cant see whose sooking yer baws(scottish translation: sucking your balls) and its good who cares! Although that table would have to be there for plausible deniability cause the thought of eye contact with a male down there wouldnt fill any mouths with my Scottish cum.

Hesus fucking christ did I just type that lol

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u/bazderoman 3h ago

thank you for the translation 

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u/Davido401 3h ago

No problem, tips fedora (wouldnt catch me dead with a fedora, more respect for myself)

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u/iAmYoungAndInMyPrime 3h ago

you are the weirdest dude I saw online and I've been on 4chan

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u/Davido401 3h ago

Th-er... Thats an achievement! I guess lol

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u/clandestineVexation 50m ago

But of course you are still making eye contact with everyone else at the table.

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u/Davido401 49m ago

Thats different! Whoever looks away is clearly embarrassed and thus gay! (Kinda like when I was in school and if someone got their ear pierced it was the "gay ear" I think it was the right in my year at school but it probably changes year to year and person to person haha)

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u/Bakoro 2h ago

Are you saying that the group dynamic bothers you more than the idea of a blowjob from a man, or are you saying that you'd be more comfortable with getting a blowjob by a man if you had a social environment that wasn't hostile?

Like, I've got no romantic interest towards males, but I'm flexible enough that if there was a healthy social environment I would be fine with some amount of male physical contact.
Most of the cultures around the world that I'm familiar with, and the vast majority of men I've known are just so fucking gross though.

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u/90210fred 2h ago

In Thailand "1 girl, 1 boy" might be considered a generous assumption in the absence of clear evidence.

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u/JyveAFK 25m ago

That's a /really/ good point. Wonder if that ever occurred to him.

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u/Dependent_Basis_8092 2h ago

It calmed down somewhat when women started going on subs but when it was all stag boats it could definitely get weird. I remember one guy doing a professional presentation to develop leadership skills, these presentations could be on anything and he chose ducks, it was 12 minutes on how ducks will fuck anything, they’ll hold the females head underwater while mating, gang up on the females and a big part about their anatomy. The chief was livid, but told him while it was well presented he needed to better title his presentation next time to match the content.

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u/Daxx22 5h ago

They practice docking on the poop deck a lot.

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u/cabaiste 5h ago

Manoeuvring their torpedoes into their tubes.

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u/chum-guzzling-shark 5h ago

penis in buttholes

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u/thatsalovelyusername 5h ago

Just harmless games of topless volleyball and the like