r/nottheonion • u/novagridd • 8h ago

Thailand's Prostitution Patrol on High Alert as 5,000 US Sailors Drop Ship After 200 Days at Sea

https://www.fashiontimes.co.uk/pattaya-police-intensify-prostitution-patrols-us-navy-visit-1763395
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u/ul2006kevinb 8h ago

Do prostitutes utilize surge pricing?

448

u/Dubbadubbawubwub 8h ago

A former British Navy man told me they do, at least in some parts of Africa, he said they tripled the prices when the American Navy turned up.

398

u/poonmangler 7h ago

And they're still not charging enough. They need to take a page out of every Chevy dealer's book.

281

u/rolloutTheTrash 7h ago

Prostitutes 🤝 Dealerships

Taking care of America's military

135

u/The-disgracist 7h ago

Our brave servicemen drive dodge chargers with 22% interest rates, sir.

55

u/rolloutTheTrash 7h ago

Only the finest "gently" used chargers/prostitutes for our soldiers 🫡

8

u/accidental_Ocelot 6h ago

Just wait till the prostitutes figure out subscription models.

15

u/TheArmoredKitten 5h ago

My man, infantry brigades in Vietnam would occasionally sponsor an entire brothel just to keep their guys clean. I've read more than a few stories about how you wouldn't hear a peep about how you spent your downtime as long as you stayed clean, didn't get into trouble, and always went to the 'correct' establishment.

3

u/DoctFaustus 4h ago

By 'correct', you mean the one that greases the right palms.

3

u/Head_Examination_264 1h ago

I've found that really improves the sensation.

1

u/PermanentTrainDamage 3h ago

We'll fight unwinnable wars but keeping track of 10000+ dingalings is too much work. Just don't get VD and we're good.

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u/TheArmoredKitten 44m ago

I want the record to state that men were reportedly jumping off the ship recently over how absolutely mind bogglingly bad the Iran thing has been.

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u/PumpJockyTwerks4Tips 43m ago

Gotta wonder how many of those guys get let loose in Bangkok and never come back

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u/rolloutTheTrash 6h ago

That or season passes/fast lane passes 🤣

2

u/National-Charity-435 4h ago

You mean the dating trap?!

3

u/Saymynaian 4h ago

Just reinvented marriage

1

u/HongChongDong 4h ago

Financing sex?

1

u/rabbitlion 3h ago

What do you think onlyfans is?

•

u/Badboy-Bandicoot 49m ago

That’s just getting knocked up

12

u/Chaos-Cortex 7h ago

Have you adjusted for the orange pedophiles tariffs inflation? More like 42%

4

u/ButtersScotch7000 6h ago

Trump has signed an executive order to rename the Brampton Assembly Plant to the America Assembly Plant.

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u/Agreeable-Network485 6h ago

22%? Financiers are going soft.

1

u/Raneynickelfire 3h ago

Because smart, adjusted, educated, intelligent people don't end up in the military.

That was easy.

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u/PumpJockyTwerks4Tips 44m ago

Well, their old pal Jody is driving the Charger right now. Good guy, always does a great job looking after the family during deployments.